Page 7 of The Alpha’s Rejected Arranged Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #3)

Finn’s scent curled into her nostrils. It made it difficult to think clearly. She was certain he was doing this because of the emotional chaos in his head. He wasn’t acting like the Finn she knew. It was no wonder. If she’d learned that Seth had stuffed him into an orphanage, and then he freaked out as soon as he saw her…

It was understandable for Finn to be upset. If he had been able to address the situation in his normal rational, calm approach, it would have been more worrisome. Elin let out a slow breath. What would Mica or Tess do in this situation?

Well, she sort of had an answer for Mica. Hayden had pulled the same thing, issuing an Alpha challenge to then turn around and claim her as his mate. It had been a different situation, though.

Right?

“Is Seth possessed, like Monroe was?” Elin asked.

“No.”

Hayden and the rest of the special ops wouldn’t go for this, challenging Seth the moment they stepped foot into Moon Lake territory. Elin shook her head slowly. If anyone could make him see the reason, it would be Hayden. In person. Talking over the phone wasn’t going to cut it, and he was too deep in his emotions for her to reach right now.

Or was there? Maybe she did have something she could do to make him understand what exactly he was doing. Her wolf whimpered with the need to comfort him as she turned around. His stance was so tense it looked like he might suddenly shatter.

Elin swallowed hard. The bond she felt toward him was too strong for her to deny. He might deny her, but if he insisted on playing mates just so he could challenge Seth… well, she could challenge him, too.

“Ask me,” she said.

Finn’s red eyebrows furrowed together. “What?”

“Ask me to be your mate.” Elin met his eye, forcing down the instinctual need to shy back. She was just asking to be rejected again. Under the circumstances, though, she’d risk it. “I won’t be forced into faking a mating bond with someone who previously rejected me. You can’t tell me to do this. You have to ask.”

Finn’s face turned away. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Make time,” Elin snapped, feeling highly unlike herself. Her heart hammered like a hummingbird’s wings. She resisted the urge to press a palm to her chest in an attempt to slow it. “We’re either going to have the mating ceremony, or I tell the truth. So, I guess the choice is now yours. Ask me or take back your challenge.”

His eyes flickered back to her. His expression was still hard as stone. “Fine. But this will be the usual type of arranged mating. It’s not a true bond.”

“You haven’t asked,” Elin pointed out.

Finn’s jaw worked for a moment. “Elin. Will you take me as your mate?”

The words were hollow and flat. Elin’s wolf cricked her tail in disappointment. It wasn’t the sudden revelation that she had hoped for. But he was right. In their current situation, they didn’t have much of a choice. If Finn were to rescind the challenge, it wouldn’t help them build an alliance at all.

That, and it was still possible that Seth would have them all executed.

Finn started to tap his toes, watching her.

It was a very unsatisfying proposal. He could at least show some softening… but Elin supposed she couldn’t expect more, not when she was forcing him into it. Kind of like how he was forcing her into the mating in the first place… fuck, but this was a mess!

“Fine,” she said, a sigh whistling from her lungs. “I’ll be your mate, Finn. But once the immediate situation is dealt with, we’re going to have to talk.”

She thought he was going to go all macho and say there was nothing to talk about. But some of the tension left his shoulders as he nodded. His expression softened, and he looked more like himself again. Maybe this was the best way. Maybe it would allow her to be here for him. The mating might be a sham, but perhaps it was the only way for him to open himself up for the true mating she knew they were capable of.

“We need to have the ceremony,” she said. “We’re both orphans, so parental permission isn’t necessary. So… water and a ribbon. Let’s cut out everything that’s not strictly necessary.”

Finn opened his mouth but closed it again. What thought had he swallowed back? Elin glanced around the room and spied a tie around the curtain. She retrieved it to serve as the ribbon and headed downstairs. Finn followed. He retrieved a cup of water from the kitchen and stalked into the living room. Derek and Christine were having a rare moment of calm; they both looked up warily as Elin and Finn entered.

“We’re having a mating ceremony,” Elin said. “You two will be our witnesses.”

“Are you sure?” Derek asked, but he wasn’t looking at her. His narrowed eyes focused on Finn.

Finn nodded once, hard as stone again.

Elin could barely remember the vows that were traditional to the mating ceremony. She and Finn stood facing each other. The ribbon lay heavy in her hand while he held the cup. He dipped his fingers into the water and dripped water into her mouth.

“I vow to provide for you,” he said.

Elin sighed as she dipped her fingers in the water and repeated his actions. “I vow to call you on your bullshit.”

Finn’s eyes widened, and Christine snorted. Elin shrugged. “Sorry. We just need to make the vows, right?”

Finn put the cup aside and tied one end of the ribbon around her wrist. “I vow to be your… your… arranged mate,” he finished, muttering.

A pang hit her stomach, but she tied the other end around his wrist. “I vow to be your mate.”

“Not much of a ceremony,” Derek muttered, looking at the floor.

Finn pressed his palm to Elin’s, his gaze softening. “I will be as good of a mate as I can be. Even though you deserve better.”

Elin nodded once, not trusting her voice. Why did her eyes burn suddenly, like she was about to burst into tears?

“So that’s it?” Christine asked, looking between them. “You’re mates now?”

“I… guess so,” Finn said, sounding hesitant.

Elin let out a soft sigh, letting the weight of the situation settle on her. She still cared for Finn, even if she was angry with him. And part of that anger came from the fear of him getting hurt. None of that mattered, though. She wasn’t going to keep thinking in circles. It wouldn’t help. No. She and Finn were mates now; whatever happened next, she would do her duty at his side.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Finn held his hand out to Elin. It was opposite to the one still tied to her. “It will be strange to the Moon Lake pack if they can’t smell us on each other.”

Derek threw his hands into the air. “Ew! TMI, buddy!”

“Don’t be immature,” Christine snapped, elbowing him in the ribs.

“I’m not being immature. I’m inserting a bit of levity into an otherwise oppressive atmosphere,” Derek responded.

Elin untied the ribbon and slipped her hand into Finn’s. Her wolf was strangely quiet as they headed upstairs. At least she’d get amazing sex out of the arrangement. An odd calm settled over Elin as they stepped into the same bedroom as before and closed the door. Finn crossed the room and pulled the curtains over the window.

“Finn?” her mouth was dry. It felt wrong to have sex now, in this situation. As though it would sully the pure lust that they’d come together before.

Lust.

Love.

Elin wasn’t sure she knew the difference, at least when it came to Finn.

He turned and held his hands out to her again. “Thank you, Elin. I know this isn’t an easy choice for you.”

She came to him, pressing herself to him. Relief washed through her as his arms wrapped around her waist. There was always something soothing and strengthening from being held by him. Elin pressed her face into his shirt, breathing in his scent. Finn’s arms moved, his hands pressing against her body, leaving trails of his scent behind. She let him do the work, standing there, reveling in his touch. It was different from their connection at the orphanage, but the same spark lit in her belly.

He was careful. He smoothed her shirt down rather than letting it ride up. Though his breath was hot on her neck, he didn’t kiss her.

Elin groaned, suddenly needing more. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and started to pull it off—only for Finn to catch her wrists, stopping her.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said.

Fuck.

His voice was hard again. His eyes were like two flints of ice staring at her.

“We’re mates. It will be odd if we don’t have sex.”

“I’m not fucking you just because people expect us to,” Finn said.

Elin pulled herself away from him. “So when you had no intention of taking me as your mate, sex was all fine and dandy. But as soon as we are mates, suddenly we can’t?”

Finn frowned. It wasn’t his upset frown. Like he was confused by her reaction.

“Look. It’s obvious that we’ve enjoyed a physical relationship,” Elin tried again, softening her voice. “Just because I misread what was between us before doesn’t mean we have to stop entirely, does it? Besides, it’ll be a good stress relief, right?” she added, hopefully.

“Elin…” Finn rubbed his hands over his face. “We can’t have unprotected sex. You’re not on birth control, and we don’t have condoms. There’s a reason I always insisted on them. I can’t risk getting you pregnant.”

Elin opened her mouth and then closed it again.

“I don’t mean just now,” he continued, his voice getting softer. “I mean, ever. I am never going to be a father. I can’t risk it.”

Never.

Meaning he was never going to give her children.

Being in an arranged mating was one thing, even if some part of her said he’d admit they were true mates one day. But this wasn’t something she was willing to overlook. He was dead serious, and this was one thing she’d always felt strongly about. Children shouldn’t be forced to live with their parents’ regrets.

“You should have told me that first. Before you demanded me as your mate.” Her voice was flat. Emotionless. Numb.

“I know. I’m sorry. It seems like I’m always destined to hurt you.” Finn’s shoulders slumped. “Elin… I really am sorry.”

Elin hid her face in her hands, her chest aching. She had thought there was no pain greater than being alone in the world. She felt as though she was being split in two. At least when she stood at her father’s grave, she still had her mother to hold onto. At least when she buried her mother, she held onto the hope that one day she’d find her mate.

She’d been desperate for love once. Maybe she still was. But she wasn’t so desperate as to live with a man she loved who wouldn’t love her back.

“Once things are done, we can break the mating,” Finn said slowly. “I won’t force you to stay here. I won’t make you give up your dreams.”

“You seem to be under the impression that you’re not part of those dreams.” Elin lifted her head. “I care about you, Finn. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t agree to be your mate now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t do more to dissuade you from caring.”

Bullshit. Elin bit the tip of her tongue to avoid blowing up at him. She was feeling too much right now. “I need you to leave. Otherwise, we’re just going to start fighting. We can’t afford to do that right now. Not when there are rogues and demons and alpha challenges. So, please. I need some time.”

Finn stepped toward her but stopped. He turned on his heel and left without a word. Elin remained where she was, wishing she could fall apart and succumb to the oblivion of sobs.

But that wouldn’t be useful. So, instead, she breathed in and out, preparing to step into the role Finn needed her to play.