Page 15 of The Alpha’s Rejected Arranged Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #3)

Elin lay on her side, watching Finn as he hunched over the computer. Over the past hour, his shoulders had slumped further and further. Normally, he held himself straight and proud, but exhaustion made him slouch. It’d been this way over the past few days. During daylight hours, he was busy rushing around the pack, making sure the town was safe from demons invading. At night, he went through records religiously, making sure he knew all the ins and outs of everything from the school curriculum to the pack budget.

“You don’t have to wait up for me,” Finn said, then glanced over his shoulder. “Am I keeping you up? I can move downstairs.”

“It’s fine,” Elin reassured him. She rested her chin on her hands as she considered their situation.

The Alpha’s house was much less grand here in Moon Lake than Monroe's in Bluebell Valley. When Hayden and Mica became Alpha and Luna, they elected to keep his family house on the outskirts of town and converted the old Alpha’s house into a medical clinic.

This house had two stories. The ground floor contained the kitchen, a sitting room, and a bathroom. The upper floor had three bedrooms, one of which Seth had used as his office. Derek and Christine lived with them, so they each got their own room, meaning Finn set up his computer in the bedroom. It was more spacious than the first house Seth had put them in, at least.

Elin had called Mica earlier that day. The weight of her situation with Finn was getting to be too heavy to bear alone, but there was nobody here in Moon Lake she could confide in.

After she explained what was happening, Mica sighed.

“I don’t envy you, Elin. It’s a rough spot to be in. Sometimes, being a mate and being a Luna are two very different things. Demons make the whole thing more complicated,” Mica said.

“I know. I just don’t know how to get through to him,” Elin groaned.

Mica was silent for a bit before she said, “I don’t know, either. It’s difficult, being an outsider, to offer advice. So, I’m going to tell you what I wished I’d known when Hayden and I first became mates. You have to decide what you can live with and what you can’t. Hold true to yourself and establish clear lines of communication however you need to.”

“Communication,” Elin sighed. “Not my strong suit.”

“I have faith you’ll figure it out.”

Now, Elin shook her head, sighing. She could live without sleep, but could Finn? He’d be on the front lines defending the pack if they were attacked. Which meant he needed his rest.

“Come to bed,” she said, opening the blankets beside her. “You’re running on a sleep deficit and need more rest.”

Finn shook his head, not looking at her. “There’s no way I can relax enough to sleep.”

Elin hesitated before she climbed out of bed. She wore a long nightgown with a high neckline and long sleeves. She hadn’t exactly been planning on playing a seductive siren when she packed it. Finn didn’t notice her approach until she put her hands on his shoulders and turned the chair around.

“I think I know something that will help you relax,” she told him.

“I really don’t have time,” Finn protested, but his pupils dilated as Elin nudged his knees open and knelt between his legs.

She reached for his belt, her movement languid, giving him plenty of time to respond if he wanted to. “There’s time in the morning. You need to relax. We both need our sleep if we’re going to take care of the pack properly. Being tired makes everything more difficult.”

Finn responded with a grunt, lifting his hips so she could pull his jeans down. He was already starting to get hard. Elin smiled up at him as she removed the jeans and tossed them aside. Then, she pulled the nightgown over her head. She’d packed exactly one pair of sexy panties, which she was currently wearing. As she tossed the nightgown aside, she was pleased to see the simple act of disrobing had left Finn standing at attention.

His gaze moved down her body, lingering on her breasts. Elin brushed her hair behind herself so he could get a better look, then reached out. She took hold of him, gently stroking. Finn’s hips moved slightly forward. His gaze grew more heated as she leaned over him and took him into her mouth.

“Elin,” he grunted, his hips shifting forward again.

Elin reached for his hand and tucked it into her hair. He gathered it into a loose ponytail, his fingers brushing against her scalp as he did so. He held it out of her way as she worked on him, using tongue and hands in alternating rhythms. Finn’s breathing grew more ragged. She loved the reaction she elicited from him and how she could feel him swelling in her mouth.

“Elin, I’m going—” he grunted, his free hand gripping her shoulder.

Elin grasped his wrist, telling him without words not to stop her. She increased her efforts as he trembled beneath her. The sounds of his grunts made heat pool in her belly, her muscles tightening with expectation. She pulled back and finished him with her hand, watching as his head dropped back and his body went limp.

He panted, his eyes closed, and his grip on her loosened. Elin smiled, pleased with herself, and grabbed the box of tissues off the desk to clean him up.

“Think you can sleep now?” She purred.

Finn lifted his head and grinned at her. “Not until I return the favor.”

Elin’s heart sped up. This was the Finn she knew. The one that she’d given herself to without thought. “Oh? But this is meant to be about relaxing you.”

“Watching your eyes roll into the back of your head is relaxing,” he answered with a chuckle.

Elin throbbed with the desire for Finn’s mouth to be on her. He knew how to use this tongue, that was for certain. But there was a deeper ache in her. One that wasn’t going to be satisfied with pleasure alone. Though she knew from experience that Finn could do wonders, she wanted… more.

“How long until you’re ready again?” she asked, nodding toward him.

Finn’s eyebrows arched toward his hairline. “If you sit on the edge of the bed—”

“That’s not enough. Not now,” Elin said. Her cheeks went pink as she tried to formulate the words to express what she was feeling. “I need to be close to you. Nothing else will be good enough.”

He searched her gaze, though Elin wasn’t sure what he was looking for. He stood slowly, pulled her to her feet, and then slowly pressed his mouth to hers. The kiss was intense and deep. Sparks flew through her skin as he ran his hands over her body. He cupped her through her panties with one hand as he broke away from her mouth and kissed down her neck. Elin’s head fell back, and she grasped his shoulders.

There were still too many clothes between them. With an impatient huff, she started to undo his buttons, watching as his taunt skin came into view. Finn smirked at her, letting her undress him. Once the shirt was done, he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. They kissed as he walked to the bed and laid her down. His hands ran over her breasts and lower. He removed her panties and tossed them aside.

“I love the way you look at me,” Elin told him as he ran a hand up his thigh.

Then, she was a bit too occupied for words. His fingers were wickedly good as he found her clit. Her back arched, and she let out a throaty moan. A tightness built inside her, aching to be filled. It was good—wonderful even—but it was hard to keep patient. She wanted him close. Wanted his body pressed to hers, wanted to feel the warmth of his skin and the beating of his heart.

“Finn, please,” she whimpered. “I need you closer.”

Finn grunted. Elin looked up at him through eyes at half-mast. She was pleased to see that he was hardening again. With his free hand, he reached to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Elin held out a hand.

“Let me.”

She could barely keep her hand steady as Finn continued to stroke her, keeping her arousal just high enough. She opened the condom, tossed aside the wrapper, and slid it onto her mate. As soon as it was on, Finn’s hand came away. He braced himself above her, their mouths clashing. He sunk into her with a groan. The feeling of him nearly sent her over the edge right there.

They moved together, a perfect rhythm that had them both panting and aching. Finn’s hands cupped into her hair, bringing her closer while Elin’s arms slid around his waist. She grasped his ass in both hands, urging him to go deeper with every thrust. The pleasure swept through her, blinding her to everything but the need to be here with him right now.

After they were both spent, Finn tied the condom and threw it in the trash. The two lay in each other’s arms. Satisfaction hummed through Elin’s body. Not just the aftereffects of the pleasure but from the lingering closeness.

“I love sleeping in the same bed as you,” she murmured sleepily into his chest. “I never realized how alone I felt until I woke up, and I wasn’t alone.”

Finn’s fingers combed through her hair. The sudden tensing of his muscles made Elin look up in confusion. What had she said?

“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want and need from life,” he whispered.

Elin bit back a sigh. The moment was ruined. How was she meant to convince him that he was enough if he wouldn’t let her linger in the moment? “It’s not your fault you don’t want children.”

“That’s just the thing, Elin. It’s not that I don’t want children. Not really. I do want kids. I decided long ago that I couldn’t risk getting a woman pregnant, and now, knowing what happened to my… to Beth, it’s even more important.” He let out a shuddering sigh. “But even with other options—adopting, for one—I just… can’t risk it.”

“Why?” Elin asked, startled. Not wanting kids and deciding not to have them for other reasons was very difficult.

Finn shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “I don’t have the temperament to be a good father. It’s not easy, Elin. Coming to this decision took a long time.”

Elin pushed herself up to her elbow, frowning. “I don’t understand. How can you think you’d be a bad father? You’re so gentle and kind. I’ve seen you help Mica with Denzel. You’re wonderful with him. Not that I’m trying to change your mind,” she added quickly as Finn’s blue eyes darkened. “I just don’t understand.”

“I…” He hesitated, staring at the ceiling. “I didn’t know Seth left me at the orphanage. I didn’t know that he interfered and kept me from being adopted. But I always knew I had blood relatives who were alive. And I knew since I was at the orphanage rather than with them, they didn’t want me.”

“Oh,” Elin mumbled, though she wasn’t sure how this was connected to his certainty he’d be a bad father.

Finn’s arm snaked around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him again. “When I found out I’m half-demon, I realized why that was. They were afraid of me. And the more I learn about demons, the more I know they were right to be worried.”

“I still don’t understand,” Elin whispered. “You’re a good man, Finn. Being half-demon doesn’t change that.”

“Maybe not. But maybe it does. We don’t know what it means to be half-demon,” Finn told her bleakly. “I don’t know if I’m always going to be me. Sometimes, when I’m fighting, I… lose myself. When I stop, I look and see how much damage I’d done without realizing I’d gone so hard. I don’t know how to stop it. I… I think it might be the demon side of me. That I have a demon, dormant, waiting for the opportunity to take my body. What if one day it emerges? If I have a mate and children, they’ll be the first the demon goes after.”

Finn closed his eyes as though he regretted saying the words out loud. Elin was quiet, shock rippling through her.

It never occurred to her that Finn might have such deep-seated fears. She’d thought that if such a thing were to happen, there would be more obvious warning signs. “Do you see a demonic presence around yourself when you look in the mirror?”

“Well… no,” Finn admitted.

“And other demons, do they know when they look at you? Or do they figure it out by other means?” she pressed.

“It seems that they can’t tell just by seeing me,” Finn said reluctantly.

Elin pressed a hand to his chest. “Then maybe there’s no demon, Finn. Maybe being half-demon doesn’t mean that you have any demonic part in you. Maybe it’s just genetic.”

Finn didn’t answer, not that she expected him to. They lay pressed against each other, and slowly, his breathing grew deep and even. Elin listened to his heartbeat, her mind full of thoughts as she slowly drifted off.

Elin wasn’t much for dreams, but she dreamt that night. She stood in a cemetery beside the familiar gravestone of her parents. An impossibly tiny baby was tucked into her eyes, staring up at her with blue eyes and a head of red hair. As Elin stared at the tiny thing, a surge of love and protectiveness swept through her.

A sound made her look up. Finn was nearby, staring at her and the baby with an expression she couldn’t read. Elin opened her mouth to call to him, but no sound came out.

He walked backward, away from her. His eyes never left them, as though he longed to race back to her but couldn’t. He kept backing away as though trying to escape a monster. Elin reached for him, but the baby slipped. Darkness swarmed in at every side, two red eyes started to glow in the sky, and laughter rang through the air.

Elin gasped as she woke up, the sound hardly audible over her heart pounding. Cold sweat clung to her, and for a moment, she was afraid. Her arms tightened, terrified that Finn would disappear from next to her. He stirred, not waking, and his grasp on her tightened.

Her wolf was quiet in her chest, curled up, head resting on its paws. She could envision it staring at her with knowing eyes.

The knowledge swept through her as powerfully as the love had in her dream. She knew without a doubt what this meant.

She was pregnant.