Page 37 of That First Night

“Simple.” I take a sip of the whiskey. “I come home, and she’s gone off to her room. When she texts me about James, it’s just pictures and she avoids any other conversation.”

Both Marc and Logan pause to look at each other and take a sip of their whiskey.

“Okay, hear me out,” Marc is the first to speak. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

It is what I wanted.

I wanted space from her because the closer I get, the more I can’t control what my heart and body wants. The problem is, whenever she’s around, a buzz shoots through my body like it’s something I can’t deny.

The other night I came home from work, James was already in bed and Peyton was eating dinner on the kitchen island. I ran upstairs to get changed as fast as I could and shot back downstairs so I could talk to her so there isn’t so much tension between us. By the time I got back downstairs, she was gone to her room and the lights were out. After I knocked and there was no answer, I peeked my head in and saw her sound asleep.

“I know,” I sigh.

“Bro,” Logan cuts in. “Do you want her? Like, do you want her in your life as more than a nanny?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You fucking sound like Marc.” Logan laughs. “You just need some pussy. That will fix all your problems.”

“How long has it been anyway?” Marc asks as he deflects his comment.

I can’t admit it to these two, but it’s been almost two years. After James turned one, I turned all my energy into raising him and working as hard as I can. Trust me, it’s not that women aren't throwing themselves at me. If I tried hard enough, I could leave with one tonight, but I don’t want to bring them back to my place because of James. And I’m not about to fuck in the backseat of a car when it’s been this long.

“It’s been two years,” I whisper.

“Could you fucking repeat that louder?” Logan snaps.

“Shut up, you heard me.”

“No. No. No,” Logan is shaking his head. “There’s no fucking way you just said two years.”

“You have a fucking kid and tell me how easy it is to get your dick sucked, asshole,” I snap.

“Dude, chicks dig dads.” Logan shrugs, “Something about a guy with a kid turns them on. I think it’s like a theme in those romance books that they read or some shit. What do they call it?”

“A trope?” Marc asks.

“Yeah, that.” Logan snaps his fingers to Marc, like his point is made. “They read those porno books about single dads all the time. It’s a thing apparently.”

“You’re out of your fucking mind, Logan.” I laugh.

“You think I’m kidding?” Logan laughs. “When you’re done being on the outs with your hot nanny, ask her what kind of books she reads.”

“I am not asking her what kind of books she reads.”

“Text her right now,” Logan begs.

“I can’t text her and ask her that.”

Logan grabs my phone from my hands, and I don’t move to stop him because a small part of me is actually curious.

What kind of books do you like to read?

I read a little bit of everything.

But romance books are my number one favorite.

Logan scoffs before showing me her response on my phone.