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Chapter Twenty

Lars

Adeline wasn’t all that impressed with me right now.

I wasn’t all that impressed with myself. So there was bad blood between me and MacFarlane, and tonight it came to a head. Knowing he hurt Adeline—maybe even used her to get at me—pissed me off in the extreme.

Or maybe I just didn’t like knowing she’d gone on a date with that asshole. Or that I might have driven her into his arms because I was so afraid of these feelings I had for her. I was trying to separate them out from lust and gratitude. From jealousy and fear.

I was afraid of both hurting her and of losing her dad as my friend.

Taking this to the next level, bedding Adeline, would have such dire consequences for my life.

I’d found my place here with a good team, people I cared about, and now Mabel was in the mix, and I wanted to make that work.

I wanted her to grow up feeling safe and secure, which meant crafting a life that put those wants and needs at the center of it.

Fucking the nanny was not it.

But that didn’t mean I’d made the wrong call tonight.

I didn’t regret strapping Mabel in and riding out to Adeline’s rescue.

And I certainly didn’t regret curling my hand into a fist and introducing it to MacFarlane’s stupid face.

The expression on that same stupid face, priceless, as he realized what was happening, would fuel me to the end of my days.

“You still pissed at me?” I slid a look to a brooding Adeline in the passenger seat.

“I can’t believe you stuck your dick in like that.”

I blinked, surprised at her turn of phrase.

“I didn’t like what I saw. And it turns out I was right, wasn’t I?”

“That doesn’t make it your business, Lars.” More aggressive whispering, though Mabel was tuckered out. She wouldn’t be waking anytime soon.

“You needed a ride, no matter what.”

“That’s what taxis are for. Or I could have called Rosie. A couple of minutes before you rode in on your white charger, I was having a fine time on the dance floor.”

I was sorry to have missed that. Taking a deep breath, I banked my frustration. “Adeline, I didn’t intend to embarrass you.”

“That’s not it, Lars. And you know it.”

I did. She was mad because I was acting like a jealous cock-blocker when I had no right to interfere, not after I’d told her we could never happen.

“The other ni?—”

“Can we not talk about it? I’d like to forget this entire night ever happened. Both of them.”

I nodded dumbly, and we continued the drive in silence.

If I had any doubt that Adeline wasn’t an amazing person, it was immediately dispelled when we pulled into the driveway. Her first thought was to unstrap Mabel from the car seat and bring her inside.

“No diaper bag?” she asked over her shoulder.

“I was in a hurry.”

“Oh, father of the year right here.”

Disgusted, she went ahead into the house while I locked the car and took a breath. Remorse was creeping in, slowly doing a number on me. This was supposed to be her night off and I’d ruined it with my caveman antics. Not Rowan MacFarlane. Me.

All I could do was apologize.

I found her putting Mabel down in my room. Once done, she brushed by me, setting every nerve ending on fire.

Okay, enough. “Adeline.”

She ignored me.

I called out again. She pivoted and made an urgent gesture at the room behind me. “ Hush now, the baby! ”

Sarcasm noted. “We need to talk.”

“Do we?”

“In your room. Now.”

Those moss-green eyes grew wide, and she backed up as I practically stalked her into her room and closed the door behind me.

“Get it all out, Adeline.”

“You’re the one who said we needed to talk.”

“Yeah, but I have a feeling you have plenty to say. I don’t think you’re used to that, are you? I think you’re the quiet daughter in a rowdy family and you’re used to keeping your feelings under wraps. You don’t have to do that with me.”

She shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Okay. I’m waiting.”

Hands on hips, she started to pace. “You already made it clear how you feel and then you waltz into that club like-like-like you … own me! You don’t like MacFarlane, so you came to put a stop to it.

But it’s not about me. It’s about him. And now you want me to talk, tell you what’s in my head?

What’s the point? I tried that and look where it got me. ”

“Rejected,” I whispered, feeling every ounce of her pain.

“Yeah. Rejected.” She blew out a breath. “And I know why. Not all the reasons you said—my dad, my age, how complicated things are in your life—but me . I’m not the kind of girl who attracts a guy like you. You could have anyone.”

She thought that? “Jesus, woman, did you not hear me jerking off to the fantasy of you?”

There was that pretty blush again, and instantly I was hard.

“That-that was just recency bias. I was the most recent woman you saw ergo I’m the one who enters your thoughts. It wasn’t personal.”

Give me strength. “It wasn’t personal? I think imagining a woman’s lips wrapped around my leaking cock is pretty personal.”

Her slender throat bulged on a swallow, and my mouth watered, desperate to apply my lips, my tongue, my everything to that tender spot. I was supposed to be making her feel better, but instead I was making us both feel worse.

Frustrated. Horny. Desperate.

“This crush you said was done, Adeline—well, I can’t stop thinking about it. Wondering if you still think of me like that. And now you’re here all the time, it’s magnified all those thoughts. All those fantasies.”

“What fantasies?” Barely a whisper, but also a plea.

This was the moment to back away. Insist that we’d butted up against the line but that crossing it would be a mistake.

Only I’d already crossed it. In the shower. In the guest room. With that kiss.

Resistance was exhausting. I was wrecked between work, the baby, my dad, and the constant need to be better than him. No affairs, no gambling, no vices.

No fuckups.

The line was at my feet and God help me, I crossed it and stood inches from her.

“Very inappropriate ones.”

Those green eyes flashed.

“Tell me.” No longer a rasp, but stronger, pressing. Aware of the power she had over me.

I curled a hand around her jaw and rubbed a thumb over her pouty lower lip. “This mouth. I want to plunder and make it mine. With my lips, my tongue, my cock. I want to lay you down and explore every inch of you, figure out what’ll make you pant and whimper and scream with pleasure.”

That bottom lip trembled. “Lars.”

The quiver undid me.

“When you said you were going on a date, I was annoyed but I realized I had no right to be. When I saw it was MacFarlane, I wanted to punch him there and then—and that’s how I would have felt with anyone who spent a single moment with you, moments that by rights, belong to me.

I know that’s not fair but it’s how I feel. ”

God, it was good to speak openly. Liberating.

“You really want to … with me?”

“I shouldn’t. I’m all wrong for you, Adeline. And it feels like a betrayal of your dad. I have to be honest about that.”

She leaned into my touch. “I’m a grown woman. I’m not some child?—”

“Except you’re Theo Kershaw’s daughter. And he would kill me if he knew I’d touched you.”

She placed a hand on my chest. “Then we’ll have to make sure he doesn’t find out.”

On tiptoes, she pressed her lips to mine.