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Chapter Eight

Adeline

Surely this was a mistake. But I wondered if it might help me, too. Helping someone while helping myself to heal.

I couldn’t avoid my future forever. At the same time, I wasn’t quite ready for the navel-gazing therapizing necessary to truly get over what had happened to me in Greece. A couple of weeks looking after someone weaker than myself would be a good way to ease back into the routine of life.

“Adeline?”

The way he said my name sent a shiver through me, which was absurd because I had thoroughly convinced myself that he did nothing for me.

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s just?—”

He cut me off. “No, you’re right, it’s a terrible idea. You’ve already helped so much and here I am, asking for more. That’s just greedy.”

Never mind that I was the one who had offered. “No, it’s not. Not at all. Only …” Rosie was worried about me accepting this gig for a few days—how the hell would she react when I said I might be stepping in for a longer period?

She would think I had it bad for Lars Nyquist.

I didn’t. If anything, I felt sympathy for him, maybe even pity, and pity generally crushed lady boners to dust. A clueless Lars wasn’t all that sexy, which was great for me, and allowed me to see this assignment for what it was: a chance to be a good Rebel citizen.

But first things first.

“There’s the crush thing.”

The words slipped out, crashing off the walls like discombobulated bats looking for an escape.

“Okay,” he said slowly.

“I just wanted to be clear that it’s in the past. I’m not here so I can get closer to you or go all stalker on your ass.”

I closed my mouth, waiting for him to respond, hopefully in a way that would minimize the flush of my skin and patter of my heart.

His brows drew together. “Never thought you were.”

He was closer to me now, still holding Mabel, who was surgically attached to the bottle, suckling away. When he wasn’t thinking too hard about it, he was quite the natural.

He continued. “I wouldn’t for a second believe that a lovely young woman like you would actually think that after all this time.” Before I could weigh in with “why not?” or “you think I’m lovely?” he moved on. “As far as I’m concerned that’s water under the bridge. It’s as if it never happened.”

Easy for him to say, but I appreciated his effort to put me at ease.

“Just schoolgirl stuff,” I reiterated.

“Think no more of it.” He was swaying a little now, with Mabel in his arms. The sight made me melt.

“But I understand how this might make working for me awkward. If it makes things easier, you wouldn’t see me much.

You’d only be here when I wasn’t, and when I am, your time would be your own.

I know you probably have plans or are thinking about next steps in your life.

Maybe this would give you a little breathing room while you figure that out? ”

I would never have expected that level of insight from a jock like Lars Nyquist. The shock of fatherhood must have opened new neural pathways in his brain.

“You’re not … wrong. I am starting to think about what comes next. I also need a job because I can’t leech off my parents forever. This might help us both.”

Something shifted between us, a burgeoning recognition of the other’s needs, and the moment was only broken when Mabel gurgled, now that she’d finished the bottle.

“I can take her,” I said, holding out my arms.

“Is that a yes?”

I nodded. “While we set up more interviews and get someone qualified in permanently.” A few weeks, maximum.

“Thanks, Adeline.” He placed her carefully in my embrace, and for a moment we were close enough to kiss. Instead he inhaled, his nostrils flared, and he looked away. “I need to pack right now for the away game. You got her?”

“I do.”

Lars

To say that hockey players were a superstitious lot was an understatement, and the Rebels were no different.

The crazy rituals, the eccentric prep, the don’t-fuck-with-what-works routines.

That meant I had an assigned seat on the team bus to the airport because everyone sat in the same spot going out and coming back. No one would risk a change-up.

And because everyone knew where I sat, I guessed that blow-up baby with a mask that looked uncannily like me was not accidental.

I picked up my doppelganger, dropped it in the place beside me, and took my usual seat by the window.

“Welcome to fatherhood, dude!” Cody Jacobs, one of the centers and a father himself, called out.

“Uh, thanks.”

I hadn’t seen the boys in a couple of days as I was given personal time yesterday, allowing me to skip practice while I interviewed women who would take care of my child.

As the bus filled, people either commented on my new life status, dropped off “gifts,” or both.

Rattles, baby toys, a dildo with indecipherable Sharpie markings (from Peyton Bell, the most inappropriate guy on a team of reprobates).

The baby-themed gifts were no better than dollar store junk, nothing I’d give to Mabel, which pretty much said it all.

No one was taking this seriously. By the time Theo arrived, his seat was piled high with baby junk.

He smirked, which reminded me of Adeline. Do not need that. “Need to be alone with your haul, NyQuil?”

“Nope.”

With his help, I did my best to offload my stash into the overhead storage. It reminded me of how cluttered my life had become in the last couple of days. I didn’t like it.

The captain finally sat in the vacated spot and turned to me. “This might be the best thing to happen to you.”

“How’d you make that out?”

“Well, you’re kind of distant with the guys, even after a few years with the team.”

“Can’t help my sparkling personality.” My Scandi noir vibes as Aurora labeled it. More useful with women, apparently.

“It’s okay. You make up for it by your association with me.”

This was true. In the last year I’d accepted more invitations to the Kershaws, and while I’d never admit it, I loved how they’d thrown their arms wide and invited me in.

Growing up the way I did, I wasn’t used to that level of intimacy.

But since this baby surprise I felt a need to both stay close and pull away.

I hated that I was taking advantage of them.

My least favorite D-man, MacFarlane, walked by. I eyed him as he passed, daring him to fuck with me.

“Anyone taking bets yet?” he called out. “Is Nyquist the daddy or not?”

It might sound like harmless joshing, but everyone knew why he’d phrased it like that. Taking bets, indeed. Like my father.

“Sit your ass down, MacFarlane,” Theo said with a glare.

I waited until the asshole had found a seat at the back of the bus. “You don’t need to fight my battles.”

My captain raised an eyebrow. “Uh, that’s my job, kid.”

I laughed at that. “Listen, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

I did a quick review of our space, making sure no one was listening. “Are you sure you’re okay with Adeline helping out with Mabel?”

He squinted. “Is there a problem? Look, I suggested it, but she didn’t have to do it. In fact, she changed her mind all by herself.”

Sure, after she saw what a disaster I was. After I told her none of the nannies were good enough. Now I was having second thoughts, especially given her insistence she did not have a crush on me.

“Yeah, I get that. But maybe she’s feeling pressured.”

“She needs a job, she wants to feel independent with her own money—you are paying her, right?”

“Of course.”

“And she won’t feel like she’s under our feet all the time. Though I hope she doesn’t think I’m trying to shove her out of the house the minute she’s back in the country.” He looked thoughtful, then whipped out his phone and started typing.

I leaned in.

Twinkle, I’m so pumped you’re home but don’t take that nanny gig for NyQuil if you don’t want it. I just want you to be happy.

Not more than ten seconds later, a text appeared.

I know, Dad. Lars needs the help so I don’t mind. He’s kind of pathetic.

Theo held his phone up. “See? She’s fine with it.”

I remained unconvinced but she was right about one thing: I was kind of pathetic.

“Why do you call her Twinkle?”

“You ever heard the expression ‘twinkle in my eye’?”

I nodded.

“After we had Hatch, it took a while for Ellie to get pregnant again. Who knew, after my swimmers hit the jackpot immediately the first time? We were kind of worried, so I started imagining this new baby. I’d talk to her in my head, the twinkle in my eye, this beautiful life we hadn’t yet conceived.

I guess it gave me hope that it would happen.

And then it did. My twinkle came to life, and here she was. ”

“You’re crazy about her.”

He chuckled. “Yep. It’ll happen to you, too. Daughters are different. Nothing I wouldn’t do for my kids, but when it comes to Adeline, I’ve always worried about her. It’s been hard for her to grow up in an environment where hockey rules everything.”

I imagined that would be tough, but Adeline didn’t seem bitter about the hockey mania. She’d even found time to comment on my room-for-improvement TOI.

“I’m just glad she’s home,” Theo went on. “And if she’s not living with us, then you’re the next best thing. Uncle Lars!”

The trust in his expression almost broke me. All these people expecting me to be the good guy.

Theo was also the only person who truly understood how difficult my relationship was with my father.

Sure, anyone could see from the outside that I’d stopped talking to him over fifteen years ago.

The reasons were plain enough, on the record for all to see.

But that didn’t stop me from getting so drunk I couldn’t play the day I found out he was dead.

Theo covered for me. My captain always had my back.

Meanwhile, I was looking at Adeline Kershaw’s mouth like it was a tasty treat.

I inhaled a breath. “Listen, thanks for … everything.”

“Who else is going to put up with your moods?”

My phone pinged with a text, and I looked at it quickly, maybe with a touch of hope. Adeline might need to contact me about something.

But it wasn’t Adeline. It was my lawyer, the one my agent had hired the minute I vomited out my sad sack story.

Call me.

We were twenty minutes out from the airport. Yesterday, before the nanny interviews, I’d stopped by his office to give blood. I needed to know, so I hit dial.

“It’s Lars Nyquist.”

“Mr. Nyquist, I have the results of the paternity test.” His tone was even, not giving a clue about what was coming next. “The baby is biologically yours.”

I snatched a quick breath. No more doubts, at least not about my genetic contribution to Mabel. As for the rest, I was a doubt-ridden lump of Jello.

“Now what?”

“I would recommend that you work out a custody arrangement with the mother as well as child support arrangements.”

“She’s not interested in being a mother. At least not to my kid.”

My kid. I could feel Theo’s eyes on me, drawing conclusions from my side of the conversation.

“If that’s the case, then you’ll still want to figure out where you stand legally. The child is yours, but we need to make sure the documentation is in order.”

My name was not on Mabel’s birth certificate. Could that be changed? Did it need to be?

“Could you figure out my options and get back to me? I’m about to head out of town for a game.”

“Understood. Send me any documents you already have and check back in with me when you return.”

I clicked off and stared at my screen for all the good it would do me.

Theo coughed. “You okay?”

“As you probably heard, it’s official. I’m a dad.”

Tender Noah Boden turned around and leaned his elbows on the seat. “Daddy Defenseman? Woo hoo!” He called out to the rest of the bus. “You hear that, boys? Nyquist just passed the paternity test. His swimmers did the job after all.”

People started throwing stuff at me from a spare stash of toys and dildos that needed a target.

My dumbass head was as good as any.