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Natalie

N atalie picked up the back and cautiously padded down the hallway until she came to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror, looking just about as rough as she felt, put the bag down, and steadied her hands on the sink while blowing out a breath.

This was not how today was supposed to go. This was not how her life was supposed to go. Somehow, along the way, things had gotten so messed up.

And for what? Because some hateful people couldn’t stand that she read a book to her class of five-year-olds about having two dads. That rage ball she had been maneuvering around was threatening to overtake her.

She noticed as she was trying to put the toothpaste on her toothbrush that her hands were shaking. She closed her eyes and fisted her hands to get them to stop.

There was a small knock at the door.

“Yes?”

“Natalie. Can I come in?”

She didn’t really want Sven to see her like this, but panic was starting to take over. She didn’t know what to do.

“Natalie?” he asked again.

“Come in.”

Sven opened the door and met her eyes in the mirror. She closed her eyes and set down her toothbrush. Her hands were still shaking too much to put on toothpaste anyway.

The door shut, and before she could think about it, Sven had crossed the room and wrapped her in his arms. She wanted to melt into him, but she was such a mess. Her body shook with tension as he held her.

He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

She just closed her eyes again and tried to lean into him, but he held her at arm’s length, and she could feel the weight of his worried gaze.

“Talk to me, Natalie.”

She opened her eyes, and his gaze just about broke her heart.

“I’m just....” She couldn’t get it out. Giving it a voice would make it too powerful.

Sven slid his hands from her arms up to her neck. His eyes got big. “Baby, your pulse is racing. What’s the matter?”

A tear streamed down her face as Sven’s gaze was quickly turning from love to panic. “Please, baby, what’s going on?”

“I’m just so . . . so mad.”

“Yeah, me too. We are going to fix this.”

“No, Sven... I’m so mad. I’m so mad that I got fired. I’m so mad that all of this is messing everything up. I have this deep anger inside of me... I don’t... I don’t know what to do.”

“Come with me,” he said before pulling her out of the bathroom.

“Where are you taking me?”

He held her hand tight and pulled her down the stairs.

“Sven. Where are we going?”

“Do you trust me?”

She shrugged and allowed herself to be pulled through Conner’s dark house. Sven turned the corner and opened another door.

She pulled his hand from his grasp and stopped. “Where are we going?”

Sven flipped the light at the top of the stairs to show stairs leading down to the basement.

“We are going to work through some of that anger.”

He started down the stairs before turning to her and reaching for her hand. She gave in to him as she followed him down the stairs. They came into a large room with a big sectional and a pool table. He guided them through into a large home gym complete with a treadmill and a weight machine, among other equipment and a large punching bag.

He let go of her hand and walked over to the punching bag. “You’re angry?”

“Yes, Sven, I’m fucking angry.”

“Hit it.”

“What? This is silly.”

“Natalie. Fucking hit it.”

She gave him a weary look.

“Do it.”

She raised her hand and hit the bag.

Sven grabbed her wrist and shook her hand, and it flopped around. “That was pathetic. Hit it.”

She hit it again, this time with force.

“That’s it. Hit again.”

She glared at him, her anger bubbling right below the surface.

“Come on, Natalie. This is those motherfucking hateful people in the Moms Fighting For Freedom.”

She hit it again, the anger rising.

“This is the reason you can’t be a teacher anymore.”

She hit it again and again. Her hands had finally stopped shaking, but the anger was right there.

“Let it out. You have to let it out.”

She hit it again. And again. All that anger balled deep inside of her was coming out.

“Want to know something else that is going to piss you off?” Sven asked with a smirk.

She waited for him to continue.

“My dad is the one who told the press. He thought if he broke us up, I’d give Winnie back to her mother.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Nope, he called me on my way back with the stuff.”

The rage ball in her exploded.

“That fucker!” she yelled as she punched the bag again.

At that, the rage she’d been holding onto came barreling out of her. She landed blow after blow on the bag, letting go of all of it.

After who knows how long she stopped and took a deep breath. It was the first deep breath she felt like she’d taken in a long time, even though she was panting from exertion. Her arms were tired, and her face was a mess of perspiration and tears.

Then, all at once, it left her, and she collapsed on the floor in tears.

Sven fell with her, catching her in his arms and pulling her onto his lap as she cried. She cried for the hateful people who had taken away what she loved. She cried for Sven and his asshole of a father. She cried because she’d never given over to this before, and it felt so good to just let go. Despite her tears, she could see clearly for the first time in a long time.

She glanced up at Sven, who just wiped her tears and continued holding her. She could fall apart because she had him to hold her together.

“I love you,” she said because it was the truest thing she felt.

A soft smile broke his concerned expression. He wiped her sweat-dampened hair that clung to her forehead. “I love you, too.”

“We’re going to be okay,” she said, searching his gaze, looking for the validation she needed.

“Yeah, baby, we’re going to be okay,” he said before pressing a kiss to her head.

She sat up and took a deep breath. “Your dad did this?”

He chewed on his lip and nodded.

“Fucker,” Natalie muttered, feeling better after letting all that out.

“Yeah, he is. We got in a big fight in Conner’s car. I think I need to go no-contact with him. He’s been a poison in my life for too long.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she stroked his cheek.

“No, baby, I’m sorry. We’ll figure this out. He doesn’t get to ruin your life just to force my hand.”

She let out a rough chuckle.

“As long as I have you and Winnie, I don’t think he can ruin my life any more than he already has.”

“You deserve so much more than this. Natalie. I’m going to fix it.”

How had she ever thought this man was anything less than perfect? She reached up and kissed him. He cupped her face and leaned into the kiss.

Suddenly, she was overtaken by a brand-new fire that was much more welcome than the rage fire that he had just helped her to extinguish. But she needed him to help her extinguish this fire, too.

Deciding not to overthink it, she climbed onto his lap and straddled him.