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Sven

S ven couldn’t bring himself to look away from her pleading blue eyes. He wanted to believe what she was saying, but something about him had always felt deeply unlovable. He was valuable because he was good at hockey, but even there, he could be better. He made everyone laugh and have a good time because if they saw this, no one would stay around. There was something broken about him and unlovable, so he only ever fooled around with women ... but Natalie was telling him something else.

Natalie was telling him he was good. He needed to believe that. Without thinking it through, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. The feel of her lips on his felt right, but this wasn’t right.

He pulled back. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

When he finally took her in, her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted. Fuck. All he wanted to do was kiss her again. When she opened her eyes, they were soft and dreamy, and he wanted to hold her close. But she had set boundaries, and he had just bulldozed them.

“It’s okay,” she said, reminding him of the time he had overheard her dreaming about it.

This put them in an awkward place of sitting so close to Natalie. Their legs were touching, and tears were still in his eyes, but his dick was hard.

He was a fucking mess. No good for anyone. But if he could be good for anyone, he would try and be good for Natalie. Natalie and Winnie.

He closed his eyes, took a breath, and flinched at the feel of Natalie’s soft hands on his cheeks. When he opened his eyes, she was gazing at him with a look he couldn’t quite read. But she had made it clear last night where they stood.

Then she shifted slightly, reaching up to him and placing a careful kiss on his lips. When he had kissed her, it had been all instinct and overcome with emotion. This one was deliberate and careful and curious and perfect.

Time stopped as her lips pressed to his in this sweet kiss.

She moved closer, and she sucked on his bottom lip. He kissed her right back, and she gave the softest of moans, and it was like the first time he saw Winnie. Something in his universe shifted. He needed Natalie. Needed to make her happy and safe and full of those little moans.

Her hand slipped from his cheek into his hair, and he slipped his armed her soft little waist and pulled her close to him. Another little moan escaped as she opened her mouth to him. There was a part of him that wanted to turn this soft perfect kiss into a hot, passionate kiss and take her right here, but he wasn’t sure what she was offering yet. He wanted her to be sure of whatever she was doing because he was more certain than he’d ever been. He needed Natalie like he’d never needed anyone before.

He had quite literally been driven mad with jealousy last night to almost ruin his teammate’s birthday, but this was like nothing ever he’d ever felt.

Her mouth opened as she licked his bottom lip. He groaned and opened for her. Their tongues met, and they sat there on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in this soft, exploratory kiss.

“Da-da-da-da-da-da,” a soft little voice said from the Pack ’N Play across the room.

They broke their kiss, but he held her close touch her forehead to his, taking a breath sealing the moment in before turning to his little girl. The look in her eyes told him this moment was just as monumental for her.

He stayed close but pulled back to look at Winnie, who was smiling at both of them, bouncing and babbling.

“Hey, sweet girl,” he said.

“A-da-da.”

He turned back to Natalie, who was still looking at him with eyes softened with lust. “Hey.”

She smiled and bit her lip.

“Are you good?”

She nodded. “Mm-hmm.” She brushed away the last tear on his cheek.

They stayed there, taking each other in. Winnie’s happy squeals gave way into disgruntled little grunts. Sven moved off the couch to go get her.

“Come here,” he said, lifting her up into his arms.

Natalie stood from the couch, walked over to them, and swept Winnie’s soft brown hair out of her eyes.

“Can we talk later?” Sven asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to come in for dinner later?”

Natalie looked at her feet. Sven was almost afraid she was going to say no but then she looked back up at him with a soft smile and a twinkle in her eyes, and his heart swelled in his chest.

“I’d like that.”

“Okay, why don’t you come in after Winnie’s bedtime, and I’ll have something ready for us.”

She just nodded.

He tucked her hair behind her ear, gently cupping her jaw before pressing a kiss to her forehead. The inhale and softest moan were not lost on him. He only hoped this didn’t give her a chance to rethink things.

Winnie’s grunts gave way to cries, forcing him out of the moment.

“Okay, Winnie, let’s go get you a bottle.”

“I’ll see you later. Maybe we can pick up where we left off,” he said with a half smirk.

She gave him a shy smile. Fuck. This might not be a good idea, but he wasn’t sure he cared. Natalie meant more to him that he even realized. She saw him in a way he wanted to see himself, and that was so alluring. He only hoped he was making the right decision.

He spent the day taking care of Winnie and trying not to obsess about things with Natalie. Before he headed up to give Winnie her bath, he put some pasta in the oven. By the time he had Winnie settled into bed for the night, the pasta was warm and bubbly with a golden-brown crust of cheese. He threw together a salad and opened a bottle of wine and texted Natalie.

Sven: I just got Winnie down. Do you still want to come in for dinner?

Natalie: I’ll be right there.

He finished setting the dining room table and lit two tall table candles before pouring two glasses of wine. While they’d shared meals on many occasions, usually, they just ate informally at the breakfast bar. But this time, he took the time to set his formal dining room table because he wanted to make sure he gave the conversation he was hoping to have the respect it deserved.

“Sven?”

“I’m in here,” he called as she moved into the kitchen.

As he turned the corner, he didn’t know what to expect, but when he saw her in leggings and a low-cut sweater with more cleavage than he had ever seen on her before, it almost took his breath away. Primarily because, fuck, she was beautiful. But it also made him think that maybe the day hadn’t given her time to cool down from their earlier kiss.

“Hi,” she said in a breathless little voice that called to him.

“Yeah, I set us up in the dining room.”

He guided her into the dining room with his hand on the small of her back. He hadn’t been this nervous around a woman in a long time—if ever—but it had never felt like this before. The conversation they were about to have felt important.

“Oh, wow, this looks amazing,” she said as they turned the corner into the dining room. He walked over and pulled out her chair before pushing it in. She looked up at him through her lashes with a small smile. “Thank you.”

“This looks delicious,” she said, picking up her fork.

“I mean, it’s just a variation on chicken and pasta, really the only thing the covered in the cooking class,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Don’t sell yourself short. It looks delicious.”

He watched as she blew on the bite and carefully put it in her mouth. “It is delicious.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

The night continued with Winnie asleep upstairs in her bed and Sven and Natalie enjoying a pleasant dinner. Sven wanted to bring up what had happened earlier, but he just couldn’t seem to work up the nerve. The fear that she might think it’s a bad idea had him steering the topic anywhere but there. But even still, it was enjoyable to gaze at her in the candlelit dining room while they talked about things from growing up to Winnie to his upcoming road trip.

Natalie put her fork down on her plate and then finished her wine. Sven picked up the bottle and nodded to her empty glass. Natalie handed him her glass, and he poured her another.

“Do you want to go sit in the living room?” he asked as he poured himself a glass.

“I’d like that,” she said as she got up, and they both made their way into the living room.

She was on the couch, and Sven sat close to her. It was now or never, and he needed to stop being such a baby.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “I did kind of want to talk about what happened earlier.”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “To be honest, I’m not sure what to say. I told you last night I had feelings for you, and you said we should keep it professional and then I kissed you. I was willing to say sorry... but then...” He chanced a glance at her. “When you kissed me back, it seemed like you might like it.”

“I did like it,” she said blessedly fast. “But I guess I’m not sure what it all means. I know you don’t want to settle down, and I don’t do flings, especially not with my boss?—”

“Why do you think I don’t want to settle down?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess your reputation.”

“I get that, but that’s not what I want with you.”

“What do you want?”

“I want it all.”

She smiled and looked down at her lap. He took that moment to slip her hand into his and give it a small squeeze before entwining their fingers.

“Is that a good idea? I mean, since I work for you?”

“Probably not. But, Natalie”—he waited for her to look into his eyes—“I have never felt like this about a person before. I want to be around you all the time. I want to tell you things. I want to know things about you. And I mean, that kiss... Damn.” He shook his head.

“It was a good kiss.”

“It was more than a good kiss,” he said, inching his way closer. He brushed the hair out of her eyes, leaned in, and pressed his lips to hers.

“Before we do that, I really do want to figure out what is happening,” Natalie said.

“Okay,” he said, sitting back. “Why don’t we just take it slow?”

“That doesn’t actually clear anything up,” she said, looking at up him with her big blue eyes.

“Do you like me?”

She rolled her eyes. “Clearly.”

“Okay, and I told you that I like you.”

“But I still work for you.”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I know that is sticky, but you’re so good with her, and I need you. What if I keep paying you for the time being, but I pay for everything you need, so you can just save the money?”

She thought it over. “What happens if we don’t work out?”

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to cross that bridge when we come to it because I don’t think that bridge will ever come.”

“Come on,” she said, pushing at his chest.

He captured it and held it there.

“I’m serious, Natalie. I know I’ve only known you for a couple months, but in those months, you and Winnie have made me a better person. I’ve never given much thought to whether I like myself or not, but if what I feel like now is liking myself, I’m pretty sure I didn’t before. You did that.”

“I didn’t do that.”

“Yes, you did. You expect more of me than being a cocky playboy hockey player. No one has ever expected more than that out of me before. I wasn’t even sure if I could do it, but after these past couple months, I know I’m capable of more. That’s how I know that we’ll figure this out.”

She smiled up at him, and it was just about enough to stop his heart. “Okay, let’s see where this goes.”

And with that, it was like the floodgates broke. He knew she needed time, but he was all in.

He bent his head and gave her a sweet kiss. “I’m going to make you so fucking happy.”

“You already have,” she said, reaching up to cup his face, bringing him into another kiss. “And now you are about to leave for an eight-day road trip.”

“Yeah, the timing sucks... or maybe it’s good timing.”

“How do you figure?” she asked, tracing her fingers along his hand.

“Because all I want to do is take you up to my room and make you feel so damn good, but I know that is old-Sven behavior and not taking it slow, so the distance might help.”

She nodded. “It is tempting, though, isn’t it? I mean, I remember the first morning when I walked in and you were feeding Winnie without a shirt on...”

“Yeah, I saw how you looked at me.”

She batted his chest, and he caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist.

“Is that why you seem physically incapable of wearing a shirt?”

He couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of him. “Maybe a little... but I’m never wearing a shirt again now that I know for sure how it affects you,” he said, sweeping the hair out of her eyes.

She just smiled and shook her head, and it was everything.

“So, we are doing this, then?”

“Yeah, we are,” he said, leaning into kiss her.

She hummed as he pressed his lips to hers. Her soft hand came up and cupped his jaw as she opened to him. He swept his tongue into her mouth and kissed her slowly. This was all he intended to do tonight, but he was going to make it worth it.

Then, to his surprise, Natalie moved to straddle him. Looking up into her eyes, he settled his hands on her hips before she cupped his face and took the lead on kissing him. He was more than happy to get lost in this kiss and ached to feel all her lush curves. But there would be time for that because, while she might still need convincing, he was already certain.

Natalie Roper was his.

They sat there, kissing, lost in each other. Time ceased to exist. Cupping her ass and pulling her closer to him, he became unraveled in the feel of her body pressed into his and the connection of their kiss. As he kissed down her neck, she ran her hands through his hair. He knew if he didn’t stop this soon, they would end up in his bed, but he didn’t want that. And while he would really enjoy that, he wanted to do this differently.

He pulled back from her, but she followed, still kissing him. Finally, she retreated and looked at him. The smile that lit up her face settled in his soul.

“I have to be on the plane around nine tomorrow, and I still have to pack,” he said with pain in his voice. He wanted to say So, why don’t you come keep me company? but he knew the moment she set foot in his room his control would crack. “So, why don’t we say good night? But I’m going to call you every night and maybe we can spend some time getting to know each other a little bit more.”

“Okay,” she said, moving off him.

“Or I mean... that’s a crap idea. You could just come upstairs with me.”

Who knew his resolve would crumble so fast? He should have known. He was kidding... mostly.

“No, you’re right. I think it’s a good idea. I’ll be in tomorrow before you leave.”

She stood from the couch, and he walked her to the pool house. She slid open the patio door and stepped in.

“Good night, Natalie,” he said before leaning in for a good-night kiss.

“Good night, Sven.”

He walked back into his house and floated up the stairs to pack his suitcase for the road trip. It was a good thing he’d been packing for road trips for years because his mind was definitely elsewhere. He kept peeking out his window at the light on in the pool house. When he checked and saw all the lights off, he texted her.

Sven: Good night Natalie

Natalie: Good night

Sven: Sweet dreams

He plugged in his phone, crawled into bed, and gave a contented sigh.

It could have sucked with his dad showing up, but as hard as that had been, it forced him to deal with this thing with Natalie. So, he should actually be thanking his dad, but that would not be happening. Because the more he saw himself through Natalie’s eyes, the more he thought he deserved better than the way his father had always treated him.

Setting his alarm, even though he very rarely needed one these days with a tiny baby alarm in the next room, he slid into bed, wishing he had a soft warm body in bed next to him. Maybe when he got home, they could do that. He really wanted to do that.