Page 39

Hours later, exhaustion settles into my bones. We’ve had fun, but home sounds increasingly more appealing, which I know is my cue to call it a night. When Macy suggests ordering an Uber, I happily nod in agreement, along with everyone else.

“I’m going to tell Levi we’re heading out,” I shout over the music. Pia’s glassy stare meets mine, and she gives me two thumbs up.

After returning from our impromptu trip to the bathroom, Levi disappeared outside with his friends and told me to let him know when we were ready to leave.

“Ride’s going to be here in fifteen minutes,” Macy says, looking up from her phone.

I nod and make my way through the crowded living room, making it outside with a relieved sigh. I was tipsy earlier, but now I’m completely sober, and having drunk people bump into me isn’t nearly as amusing as it was at the start of the night.

I spot Levi near one of the beer pong tables and sidle up to his side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses my head.

“We’ve got a ride coming in a few minutes,” I tell him.

“Okay, I’ll come with you,” he says.

The slight slur in his words makes my brows dip in confusion.

The beer in his hand is about a quarter full, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same one he had when we left the bathroom.

Then again, he was playing a drinking game, and from the looks of it, every cup on the table is empty.

He definitely could have had more to drink while I was inside with the girls.

“I’ll come with you guys,” he repeats, setting his beer down. But he misjudges the table's edge, and the bottle topples to the ground.

“Shit,” Levi mumbles as the liquid seeps into the grass beneath our feet.

Austin goes to pick it up, clapping Levi on the shoulder. “You doing alright, man?”

“Drinking on an empty stomach was not a good idea.” He laughs, but again, it sounds off.

“I hear you, something’s gotta soak up this shitty beer.” Austin chuckles, leaving us to throw the empty beer bottle in one of the nearby trash cans.

Levi rubs at his eyes, and when he blinks, they look clearer, more focused. Even the smile he gives me, which causes the butterflies in my stomach to stir, oozes his usual charm.

“You still up for meeting me at my apartment?”

“Yes,” I smile, willing myself to stop overreacting.

I’ve never seen him drunk, and now that he is, I’m being paranoid for reasons I can’t explain. I know Levi’s not a big drinker. But that doesn’t mean he can’t have a night of letting loose like everyone else.

He won both his heats today, and we’re celebrating my birthday. Or we were, considering it's well past midnight.

He deserves to have as much fun as anyone here, and I’ll gladly take care of him tonight if I have to.

“I need to use the bathroom, but I’ll meet you out front in five?”

I nod, hugging him around the waist. “Love you,” I murmur. For some reason, I feel the urge to say it right now.

“ Loveyoutoo .” He says, the words blending into one.

I watch him walk off. His movements are slow but steady, which I take as a good sign. I hurry back to the girls and we head to the front yard.

“What color is the car?” Elsie asks, rubbing her bare arms up and down.

“White and the license plate ends in 196,” Macy says.“Hopefully, the driver lets Levi sit in the front. Some people are weird about that.”

Speaking of…where is he?

Concern claws at my insides as the minutes tick by, and he still hasn’t shown up. Even if there is a line, he should have been back by now.

Either way, standing here waiting seems counterproductive.

“I’m going to go look for Levi,” I say, feeling the need to do something.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Pia asks.

“No, stay here.” It’s better if we don’t split up even more.

“Okay, but hurry,” Macy says. “Driver’s ten minutes out.

With a promise to be back before then, I make a beeline for the second floor. Murmuring apologies, I push past couples making out and groups of friends taking up space.

Since it’s impossible to tell which bathroom he went to, I have no choice but to open every bathroom door I find.

After checking the second and third floors, he's still nowhere to be found. My heartbeat skyrockets, and I try to calm myself down. Maybe I’m overreacting.

As I debate my next move, my phone buzzes with a text.

Macy: Our ride’s here.

Shit.

I have to leave with them. Abandoning the girls isn't an option, knowing they’d never do that to me. And with Pia here, I need to get her back to my apartment safely.

Bear: I’m on my way.

The second I press send, I open my text thread with Levi.

Bear: Where are you??

Bear: We need to leave.

With my phone clutched tightly in hand in case he texts back, I quickly head downstairs.

Reaching the second floor, I spot Mack walking hand in hand with a girl. I call out his name to catch his attention. He smiles, but his expression quickly shifts to a frown as he takes in my face. Behind him, his date eyes me curiously.

“Everything good, Bear?”

“Yes,” I reply, swallowing my unease. “Our ride is here, but I don’t know where Levi is, and we need to leave,” I explain quickly. “Can you find him for me, please?”

“Of course.” Mack nods. “I’ll make sure he’s right behind you.”

I flash him a grateful smile, feeling slightly better. “Thank you. Tell him I’ll meet him at his apartment.”

He says something to the girl, but I don’t stick around, knowing I’ve already wasted enough time.

I spend the entire car ride checking my phone, but there’s no text or call from him. The girls try to reassure me that everything’s fine, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

After saying goodnight to Pia, I head to Levi’s apartment. My unease deepens when it’s clear he hasn’t made it home yet.

I turn on the lights and notice a gift bag on the counter, with the words "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" printed in colorful block letters on the front.

It’s not heavy, but there’s something solid inside. Despite my curiosity, it feels wrong to open it without him.

Carefully placing the bag back down, I sit on the couch, clutching my phone like a lifeline. I’ve tried calling him numerous times, but it always goes straight to voicemail.

With nothing left to do, I wait.

And wait.

All the while, my gut is tight with worry, and unease crawls up my spine.

The longer I sit there, the more my mind replays every detail of tonight. I thought he was drunk, but was he? Surely, a few beers couldn’t knock a six-foot-one, hundred-pound-something male off his feet.

Maybe I had imagined the slight slur in his words. Everything was loud: the music, the people talking. Everyone’s words sound like they’re mixing as one when you can barely hear yourself think.

But none of that explains what could have possibly happened in the short time between him going to the bathroom and us leaving.

I push to my feet, wiping my clammy palms down the front of the sweats I changed into earlier. I sit back down, not knowing what to do anymore. I feel like an idiot waiting for him, especially when he couldn't even bother to show up for the plans he made.

But why isn’t he home yet?

As soon as the thought enters my mind, my phone buzzes, and I rush to grab it, hoping it’s him.

It has to be him.

Except it’s not. It’s not even anyone I know.

The unknown number staring back at me fills me with dread. For some reason, my hands shake as I open the text.

The message has no context—it’s just a video, which somehow only makes me more anxious.

I press play, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to what I see. But when they do, bile rises in my throat. I don’t want to watch, but I can’t look away.

Levi sits on the edge of a bed, his gold medal and goggles resting against his bare torso.

The T-shirt he wore to the party is now a puddle on the floor by his feet.

A girl stands in front of him, with her back to the camera.

She’s dressed up as a ballerina with long, blonde hair a similar shade to mine. Except it’s not me.

Tears sting my eyes, blurring my vision, but I see it even through the teary haze. She takes another seductive step toward him, lowering her head to his. His hand grabs her waist like he's about to pull her onto his lap.

The video cuts out, but I’ve seen enough.

Around me, the room feels like it’s shrinking. My lungs stain for air as salty tears run down my cheeks and over my lips.

He wouldn’t.

But he did.

And after everything he said to me.

He promised I was safe with him.

Quiet, painful sobs rack my body as the realization that yet another person who I trusted with my heart ripped it to shreds like it was nothing.

Like I was nothing.

Every scar that healed at his hands tears open as his betrayal bleeds through the cracks. The pain in my chest has me clutching at my hoodie, wishing I could rip the stupid, foolish organ out so I wouldn’t have to feel.

He lied.

He. Lied

I trusted him.

I loved him.

I still do.

And he threw everything I barely had to give right back in my face.

The images of him with her flash through my mind, and the earlier bile I felt now burns as it fights its way out of me.

I barely make it to the bathroom before I’m emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

I dry heave a few times before slumping against the cool porcelain when my stomach finally settles.

It takes every ounce of strength to move my shaking body. Slowly, I sit up and then stand. I flush the toilet and rinse my mouth, purposely avoiding the mirror above the sink.

Back in the living room, I grab my phone, seeing a new message light up the screen.

Mack: Found Levi. He’s had too much to drink, so we’re taking him back to the dorms to sleep it off.

I’m numb as I read it. His friends are covering for him, but it’s too late. I already know what he did.

The walk from Levi’s apartment to mine is a blur. I’m on autopilot, and I prefer it this way. There’s no pain when you feel nothing.

I flood my bedroom with light, causing Pia to stir under the covers. She sits up, her hair in disarray, and she pushes her long, dark bangs out of her face.

“Bear?” She squints at me as her eyes adjust. “How was your time with Levi?”

At the mention of his name, a fresh wave of silent tears streams down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away, but it's futile; they fall too fast, and more follow with every swipe of my hand.

Pia’s face twists with panic. “Care Bear, what’s wrong?”

I open my mouth to tell her, but the words refuse to come out. I physically can’t say them. Either out of fear of breaking down further or because saying it out loud will make it even more real.

So, I show her.

And while she watches, I sit with my head in my hands.

I know it’s over when she wraps her arms around me.

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, over and over.

I turn into her, my tears soaking her cotton shirt, but she doesn’t care. She holds me as I quietly cry myself to the point of exhaustion.

But even when I’m under the covers, sleep doesn’t take me away. I stare at the ceiling, listening to Pia’s steady breathing while silent tears fall wherever gravity takes them.

How did my night go from the highest high to the lowest low?