Page 53 of Spark

“See? I don’t even know that. You’re still the smartest person I know.

” Smiling, I run a fingertip across the curves of her breast and nipple.

“I have a confession to make. The first week you were staying here, I took off my shirt a thousand times more than I ever would have if I’d been alone in a pathetic ploy to get you to notice me and think of me in a sexual way. I don’t really work out shirtless.”

Ruby screams with laughter. “You wanted me to notice you?”

“Desperately.”

“Kendrick, I noticed you so damned much, I couldn’t even look at you, or I knew a gushing river of drool would come out of my mouth and give me away. Especially when you came out in that towel. I was a goner.”

“That’s exactly what Savage said! He said you not catcalling me when I was in that towel was proof you wanted to fuck me.”

“Wow, you’ve talked to Savage quite a bit about all this, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

We both giggle .

“I was obsessed,” I admit, tracing her belly button with my fingertip. “So, what finally did it? What lit the spark for you to finally see me as something more than a friend for the first time?”

Ruby bites her lip.

“Come on, baby. I’ve told you my timeline. Now, tell me yours. Was it when we kissed at my birthday party? At Reed’s party? Fess up.”

Ruby blushes. “It happened a little bit sooner than all that, I’d say.”

A thought occurs to me. “Wait, were all Cooper’s lyrics about me true?”

Ruby nods slowly. “I’m only assuming about the ‘you said his name twice’ thing, though.

I honestly don’t remember moaning out your name over and over again in my sleep like he said I did.

Although, come to think of it, I’m sure he was right about that, since I was definitely having a sex dream about you. ”

“Holy shit. Really?”

“I denied it when he accused me. But he was right.” She smiles wickedly. “I was. A really good one.”

I’m blown away, dizzy with excitement. “So you never told Cooper you wanted to fuck me?”

“How could I tell him that when I didn’t even realize it myself? Yes, I was having sex dreams about you, but I convinced myself they didn’t mean anything. Or maybe they were just symbolic of our close bond, I don’t know. I twisted myself into pretzels to explain it away.”

“But Cooper could see the truth.”

“Apparently so. I told him he was delusional and crazy. Because, honestly, I thought he was. But looking back, he was right to feel jealous of you.”

I snort. “Poor Cooper. No wonder he wrote that song.”

“Poor Cooper? ”

“You gaslit him, babe.”

“ What ?”

“I’m sure he was out of his head with jealousy. He could see what you couldn’t, and you kept telling him he was delusional and crazy. That’s textbook gaslighting.”

She swats my shoulder. “Whose side are you on?”

“Yours. Always and forever.” I kiss her forehead. “But you have to admit you kinda did mindfuck him.”

“Not on purpose. And enough with the poor guy stuff. I didn’t understand my feelings for you, Kendrick. Our friendship was complicated. And he was a total and complete dick to me.”

“That’s for damned sure. So, yeah, fuck him. He dated you for, what, three months and got a blockbuster song out of it—one that’s going to buy him and all his bandmates condos, at least. Maybe even houses, if they get lucky and get a follow-up hit.”

“Right?”

“I think Cooper would probably say getting gaslit by you was well worth it in the end.”

Ruby cracks up. “He already told me that, basically.”

Ruby tells me the story about her conversation with Cooper in Laila’s dressing room yesterday, and we both hoot with laughter till we’re crying.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was freaking out. Right before Cooper came to talk to me, Laila said something that made me realize I’m in love with you, and I—” Ruby clamps her mouth shut, her eyes wide. Obviously, she didn’t mean to say those three little words out loud.

I touch her cheek and smile from ear to ear, feeling like my heart is about to explode. “I’m in love with you, too. I love you, Ruby. I’ve always loved you.”

She sighs. “I love you, too, Kendrick. ”

And I always will.

They’re the words on the tip of my tongue. But I don’t have the courage to say them. Not yet. Baby steps.

We embrace and kiss, and after a bit, Ruby breaks away and says, “I have a confession to make, too.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “The spark didn’t happen for me instantly, like it did for you. But only because you were a football player, and I thought those were totally gross.”

I laugh.

“But when you went off to school, I missed you so much, it felt like a physical ache was wracking my body. Like I was missing a limb. I dreamed about you every night, Kendrick. At first, we’d be playing music together or watching a movie in my dreams. But then, I was kissing you.

And then . . .” She blushes. “I was losing my virginity to you.”

My breathing catches. “Oh my god, Ruby.”

“I realized I wanted that in real life. Not only in my dreams. I wanted you to be my first.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this back then?” I’m beside myself.

I sit up in the bed, my legs bent and my mind racing.

“I would have dropped everything to come to you, Ruby! Do you have any idea how many girls I turned down in high school, specifically because I wanted you to be my first? Because I was in love with you, and only you? Because being with you for my first time was my biggest fantasy? I was totally obsessed with the idea.”

Ruby runs both palms down her face. When she emerges, she’s red-faced and panting. “I didn’t tell you—not over the phone, anyway—because I decided to surprise you at school on your nineteenth birthday and ask you to take my virginity in person.”

My jaw drops. “Why didn’t you go through with it? I would have said yes. ”

“I did go through with it. I took the train and made it all the way to your doorstep.”

“What?”

“But then, I saw something through your front window that made me turn around and hop the next train home.”

“You were there? What did you see?”

Ruby presses her lips together. “You and Florence. Having sex on a couch. I saw you without meaning to do it through a tiny gap in your blinds.”

I palm my forehead. “No. No .”

“I turned around and went home and never told another living soul about what happened and the stupid thing I did.”

“Oh my fucking God, Ruby. It wasn’t stupid. I wanted you . Only you. You’re the only one I’ve ever truly wanted, baby. Fuck me. If only I’d known.”

Ruby snorts. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it sure looked like you were enjoying your couch time with Florence quite a bit.”

“Because I couldn’t have you! I settled for her, the same way I’ve settled for every fucking woman since.

All because I couldn’t have you.” I can’t help returning her wicked smile.

“Okay, yes, okay. I was nineteen and horny and putting my dick inside a pretty girl, probably for one of the first times, given the timing, so, yes, I’m sure I thought it didn’t completely suck at the time. ”

We both guffaw. And in this moment, I couldn’t love Ruby more.

“But I swear to God, if I’d known you wanted me back, I would have waited for you for the rest of my life.

I would have hopped a train the second I found out.

” I run a hand through my hair. “I would have killed for us to be each other’s first, Ruby.

” I pause, my heart pounding in my ears.

“Your first was Ryder, right?” We’ve never talked about it, but based on timing, that’s got to be the guy, the lucky bastard .

Ruby nods and winces. “I wished he was you the whole time.”

“I wished Florence was you, too. I’ve wished every woman I’ve ever been with was you.

” I’m quaking with adrenaline. Also, with grief over what might have been.

“That’s why I came in my pants at Reed’s party.

Because I’d been dreaming about tasting your pussy for twelve long years, and my inner teenager couldn’t handle it finally coming true.

” I exhale and gather my courage to say something on the tip of my tongue.

“If you’d been my first, Ruby, you would have been my last. My only. ”

Her eyes prick with tears. “Oh, Kendrick. Mine, too.”

My heart bursting, I kiss her again.

“I have another confession to make,” I say, breaking contact with her lips. “Your place has been move-in ready for weeks now. Sorry about that.”

“What?”

I tell her what I’ve done—the bribes I’ve paid to her building manager—and Ruby looks shocked. Flabbergasted to the extreme.

“How much did you pay him?”

I tell her the outrageous number, and to my relief, Ruby throws her head back and belly laughs from the tips of her toes.

“You’re psychotic,” she says, still laughing. “I’m so turned on.”

I laugh with her, basking in an ocean of relief and love for her. “It was Savage’s deranged idea. I can’t take full credit for it.”

“Of course, that was Adrian Savage’s brainchild. I should have known.”

“I’m the one who executed on it, though,” I say defensively. “So, I think I should still get most of the credit. Enough for you to feel turned on by me and only me. ”

“Oh, I do, baby. Most definitely.” She strokes my face and grins. “Is there anything else you need to confess? Any other insane lies that need to be untangled now, before we officially start this thing and promise total honesty going forward, or is every dastardly secret of yours out in the open?”

I twist my mouth. “Hmm.”

“Oh boy,” she says. “Lay it on me, baby. Now’s the time.”

“I actually passed out cold during the flight from New York to Vancouver. I slept like a baby, as a matter of fact.”

Ruby chortles. “Why did you lie about something as stupid as that?”

“Because you said you’d take a nap with me if I didn’t get any sleep on the plane!”

“Kendrick!”

“I would have said anything to get to lie down with you in an actual bed, Ruby. Also, in my defense, I was still sleep deprived when I woke up. I had a lot of catching up to do. So, it was only a tiny lie.”

Ruby giggles. “Anything else, you psychopath?”

“That journal in my nightstand? It was a decoy, babe. My old journal from last year.”

“Kendrick Cook.”

I can’t help grinning proudly at my chess playing. “I knew you’d snoop around to find my journal the second I left you alone?—”

“I didn’t!”

“So I left something for you to find and get turned on about.”

“I swear, I didn’t snoop. Like I told you, I was looking for a place to put my bag of nighttime stuff.”

“Liar.”

“Oh, you’re calling me a liar—after all the lies you’ve now admitted to telling to get me into your bed?”

I snicker. “Good point. Not only to get you into my bed, though. I’ve always wanted more than that.” I touch her hair. “So much more.”

“Oh, Kendrick.”

I gasp. “I just thought of another lie. Those handcuffs in my nightstand? I bought them specifically for you to find, along with the decoy journal. That huge bottle of lube, too. I didn’t already own any of that stuff. It was all a set-up, designed to feed into your frenzy over ‘Spank.’”

Ruby pulls a face. “You didn’t already own lube?”

“That’s your takeaway from everything I just said? No, I’d run out. And I’ve never once owned a bottle of lube that goddamned big in my life. Who needs a bottle that big?”

“I mean, it’s definitely come in handy.”

We both snicker, remembering all the dirty, filthy, naughty—and oh-so fun—things we’ve been doing together since she first rolled her little suitcase into my house weeks ago.

“More lies,” she demands. “I want all of them, big or small.”

I contemplate for a moment. “I don’t buy my mother flowers whenever she comes to visit. I’ve never once done that, actually, and I have zero idea about the name of her favorite flower.”

Ruby bats her eyelashes. “You mean you got handcuffs, lube, and tulips, especially for lil ol’ me? How romantic.”

“I was trying to seduce you with all that stuff, babe. Not romance you. And failing badly.”

“I’m here, aren’t I? Seems to me it was mission accomplished.”

We share another giddy smile.

“More lies,” Ruby commands, tapping an insistent fingertip against my bare chest. “I want every last one.”

I pause to consider, feeling physically high with happiness. Drugged, like I’ve got an IV pumping happy juice into my veins. “When we had that threesome with Bruno, that was my first time doing that. I pretended to be an expert, but I was honestly bluffing. Flying blind.”

Ruby laughs uproariously. “Oh my god, babe. You were incredible at that.”

“You enjoyed that, huh?”

“If I didn’t already love you, that would have done the trick. Come here.”

I scoot to her and we lie nose to nose with her arm draped over me and mine doing the same to her.

Sliding her fingers into the back of my hair, she looks into my eyes and says, “I love you so fucking much, Kendrick Alan Cook. And to be clear, I don’t mean like a brother.”

I smile so big, my cheeks hurt. “I love you, too, Ruby Duby Doo Connolly. And definitely not as a bestie.”

“Definitely not.” She narrows her eyes. “You don’t remember my middle name?”

“Of course I do. Margaret. I remember every damned thing you’ve ever told me, Ruby Margaret Connolly.” As she swoons, I blurt, “Move in with me, baby. Sell your place; rent it—I don’t care, as long as we live together and keep going, exactly like this.”

Forever.

That’s the word I want to add to the end of that plaintive speech, but I lost my nerve at the last second.

Ruby nuzzles her nose against mine. “Baby, I thought you’d never ask.”

“So, that’s a yes?”

“It’s a fuck yes.”

I’m dizzy with excitement, love, and relief. “I love you so much, Ruby Connolly.”

She replies with the best words known to mankind. Or, at least, to me. “Kendrick Cook, my darling, I love you, too.”