Page 9 of Sin With Me

“Thank God. I’m glad to hear that.” She releases a sigh of relief.

“But the sadness is still lurkin’, taunting me to cut and release the pain so I can finally be free of it,” I murmur honestly.

“That dread feelin’ istemporary. It won’t last forever and will eventually pass. Try to stay strong and fight through it the best you can so you don’t give in to it. I’ll stay on the phone with you as long as it takes. Think you can do that for me?”

“I dunno, Delly. I’ve been tryin’ for three hours, but the urge is gettin’ harder to resist.”

Do it. Do it. Now. Do it.

The words have been on repeat.

A part of my brain knows it’ll numb the pain and that’s all it wants right now.

Fuck the consequences.

“Oh, Luke. Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

I sigh, squeezing my eyes to hold back the scream I’m tempted to release. “I didn’t wanna hear the way you sound right now.”

Disappointment. Worry.Pity.

“It’s why I’m here. And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for callin’ before you hurt yourself.”

“I’m a fuckin’ mess, Delly. You deserve better than spendin’ your night with me.”

“Listen to me…” she says in the sternest tone I’ve ever heard from her. “I volunteer damn near every night so I don’t risk missin’ your call. And not just because I worry about your safety, but I need to hear your voice just as much as you need to hear mine.”

“You do?” I whisper in disbelief, my eyes watering.

“Yes…” she says softly. “It brings me comfort to hear you breathin’. I could hear it for hours and never get bored.”

“Like a dog pantin’ in your ear? That does it for ya, huh?” My words come out more flirty than I intended, but she must find the humor in it because a laugh escapes from her mouth. Though I don’t think she meant for me to hear it because she quickly clears her throat.

But it’s too late because now that I’ve heard it, I want to hear it again and again.

“I’d stay on the line just to listen to you snore because it’d mean you’re alive,” she says, not humoring my dog panting comment.

“If I didn’t know any better, Delly…you’re getting attached to me, too.”

My words are genuine even though I’m fighting a battle inside my head that feels as if I’ll never win. It’s armed and ready to pull the trigger, but the only defense I have is holding onto hope that I’m strong enough to resist.

“I think you’re right, Luke. I am.”

“Hello, you reached the Haven Grace prayer crisis hotline. How can I assist you in prayer today?” a sweet old lady’s voice I don’t recognize picks up.

“Uh, hello. Is Delly workin’ tonight?”

“I’m sorry, honey. She’s not. Is there somethin’ I can help with?”

That’s weird. She’s been there every Friday night for the past six months. We spoke two nights ago, but I already miss her.

“No, thanks. Can you tell me when her next shift is?”

“I don’t think she’s comin’ back, sweetie. Her little sister is in the hospital.”

My heart drops into my stomach. She’s told me a bit about her sister and how she’s ten years younger than her, which would only make her thirteen.

“Oh my God. What happened?”