Page 38

Silas

Going through the motions, Silas felt way out of sorts acting like his world hadn’t gotten turned upside down when Ziggy had licked and kissed away his tear.

His heart had landed at Ziggy’s booted feet without question.

He was tethered to the man, and he wouldn’t have protested if Ziggy had wanted to walk all over the damn thing.

Silas resigned himself to the fact he was no better than Taylin when he had cried about his mating to Hollis, or how Booker was over Frey. Lowering, but absolute fact.

His steps didn’t feel like they were on solid ground, as if he was floating on a cloud after his confession.

Ziggy hadn’t shut him out, despite his initial belief he had when Ziggy had let go of him.

He had felt crushed, but the feeling had gotten allayed seconds later by Ziggy.

They needed to talk, and Silas wanted it all out in the open, was desperate for that now he’d ripped open his heart to bare his soul.

Revealing the vulnerability that, in the dark, made him feel weak and helpless.

He felt Ziggy’s presence behind him, walking with Wilder and Bowie. Walking to the bunkhouse, Silas had to concentrate on Ethan with more effort than normal as he caught up on the new brood mare they had acquired.

Ethan groaned. “Do they think separating themselves off like that is how to become a team?” He didn’t say it loud, but both Laken and Rue glanced in their direction, scowling.

Silas shook his head. “You pissed ‘em off and it looks like they’re rebellin’,” Silas murmured as they went to the counter where Petey and Orion, who ran the bunkhouse and cooked for the ranch hands, were.

Orion was a giant, next to Petey. He was a polar bear shifter and built like a house.

Whereas Petey, a divergent penguin, didn’t reach far past Orion’s waist. The two men were mates and had worked for Silas since he’d bought the ranch.

They came looking for a place to work where they’d find acceptance.

“Look who it is, Petey.” Orion’s meaty lips curled into a wide, cheeky grin. “You finally dragged your scrawny ass back to the ranch, did ya?”

“Good to see you too, Orion.” Silas grinned and reached over the counter to slap Orion on the shoulder before glancing at Petey. “You still with this grumpy ass?”

Petey gave him an adorable smile, which was all crooked teeth. “What can I say, he’s got the biggest—”

Orion placed his huge paw over Petey’s mouth, covering most of his face. “Nah, babe, we talked ‘bout the braggin’. These boys will only get jealous.”

“That’s what you want us to believe,” called out Cranny, a lion shifter sitting next to Rue.

“It’s the truth,” Orion joked back, reaching for the food Petey had plated for Silas and Ethan.

“Thanks.” Silas groaned in appreciation at the plate piled high with steak, potato cakes, seasonal vegetables, and Petey’s steak sauce that he refused to share the ingredients of, despite how many times Silas had tried to bribe him for it.

“Who are these cuties?” Petey asked as Silas stepped aside for Ziggy, Bowie and Wilder to come to the counter.

“I like you already,” Wilder replied, holding out his hand. “I’m Wilder, and this is Bowie and that’s Ziggy.”

“Gods, it’s gonna get confusing around here. A Zippy and a Ziggy.”

“Zippy?” Wilder asked, frowning at Petey.

“You won’t miss him. He’s the dude with the big gob who can’t keep his thoughts to himself,” Cranny answered Wilder.

Wilder glanced over at Cranny, the furrows on his forehead deepening, then looked back at Silas as if trying to figure out what Cranny’s issue was.

“Ignore Cranny. He and Zippy have a love-hate relationship,” Ethan explained, chuckling.

“Yeah, I love to hate his gobby ass.”

“Who knew an ass could be gobby?” Jupiter drawled, causing the room to erupt in laughter.

The laughter lightened the mood and helped distract from the nervousness coiling in Silas’s belly, much like Ziggy’s snake liked to do on him.

He tried not to think about what was going to happen once they returned to the cabin.

All of Popi’s advice about going slowly, giving Ziggy all the romance he’d denied him, had gone pop like a damn balloon loud and spectacular—or in his case, tears.

“So, you gonna explain to me what’s going on with you and Ziggy?” Ethan whispered as he brought a fork full of steak to his lips.

Ziggy sat at the far end of the table, so Silas chanced a look.

He had wedged himself in between Bowie and Wilder at the other end of the long bench table.

He was looking towards Bowie and away from Silas, only there was tension in his shoulders that suggested he wasn’t as relaxed as he appeared to be.

Had he heard the comment?

Silas’s gaze swept the table, looking for signs of interest in him. Had the others?

He promised Popi honesty, so he took a deep breath and met Ethan’s gaze, thinking he was the best, or easiest, person to start with.

“I’m interested in him, personally,” he confessed, swallowing hard enough to feel his Adam’s apple bounce. “I like him a lot.”

It was the best he had in the crowded room, but fuck it, it was a start!

Dark brows shot up and disappeared under the brim of the baseball cap Ethan wore instead of his Stetson. “Like him a lot ? Holy cow man, are you feelin’ alright?” he joked, mirth shining in his eyes.

“Fuck you!” Silas shoveled a fork of food into his mouth and groaned at the flavor explosion on his tongue.

“You imaginin’ you’re eatin’ somethin’ else?”

“Did you need to go there?” Silas muttered around the mouthful of food, scowling at Ethan, who looked unrepentant as he shrugged and shoved a forkful of steak into his mouth.

“You’re as bad as Jup. Let’s change the topic shall we? Tell me what’s with the horse in the paddock? Someone want you to fix him?”

The conversation was easy and he managed to keep his gaze from straying to Ziggy. The noise in the bunkhouse made sure the topic of any one conversation was harder to follow, which was fine when it drowned out Jupiter’s bitching about the accommodation.

An hour later, Silas rose and acted like there was nothing to see as he glanced in Ziggy’s direction to catch his eye, then said, loud enough to be heard over the din, “I’d hit the hay early. It’s a five am start here.”

There were grumbles of complaint from his brothers, but the PAs said little as they took their dirty dishes to the counter. Everyone filed out and Silas followed last with Ethan.

“Wanna go up to the house for a beer?” Ethan asked.

The night sky was a riot of stars, the darkness illuminated by the full moon. The sounds of the ranch were like music to Silas and he took a deep breath, letting the place settle him before he answered. “Nah, got to set a good example.”

Ethan nudged his shoulder, his gaze following the group of men halfway down the front paddock heading towards the back field where the cabins were. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“Whatever man.” Silas waved Ethan off as he walked in the opposite direction, up to the main ranch house.

Silas followed the others at a slower pace.

He had missed being here, he just hadn’t known how much until now.

Sauntering towards the cabins, he inhaled the familiar smells of the ranch.

Nothing left him feeling quite so content as being at the ranch did, or hadn’t until he met Ziggy.

Ziggy offered the same vibe, making him easy to be around.

Quiet, inner calm. For Silas, it came from being accepted unconditionally by the animals and the community he’d created on the ranch.

His parents and his brothers gave him something different; a love that required no justification.

Hazardville had not given him that, and he had needed to create his own sanctuary.

In doing so, he’d established one for others who hadn’t found acceptance, and he was proud of what the ranch represented.

He wanted to share that with Ziggy, it being a big part of who he was. This place was vital, now more than ever with the changes to his life. What he discovered talking to Popi was how much he wanted to share this part of him. A part he had never shared with another soul.

By the time he got to the cabins, they were all lit up and he could hear voices carrying beyond the closed doors. He groaned at the bitching he was going to have to endure the following morning. This wasn’t the best idea for romancing Ziggy if all he got was verbal diarrhea from his brothers.

“You gonna stand out here all night?” Ziggy murmured from the shadows of the porch, rising from the swing seat that Silas hadn’t noticed him sitting on, so lost in his thoughts.

“Was just enjoying the night air and the music of the ranch.” He strolled up the steps, unable to make out Ziggy’s expression in the shadows. The light spilling through the windows cast him in a halo, further hiding his features.

“It’s beautiful here. The night sky feels bigger. Clearer.”

Silas came to a stop in front of Ziggy, reaching to stroke his bearded cheek. “I love it here. I found my center at this ranch.”

Ziggy leaned into Silas’s touch and his heart fluttered at the simple move. “How so?”

“Let’s sit.” Ziggy went with him to the swing and when he didn’t sit immediately Silas glanced up at him, frowning, thinking he’d picked up the wrong vibe. “You want to go inside?”

The light from the window revealed Ziggy’s grin. “Nope, I wanna sit on your lap.”

“Oh…” Silas came forward and without hesitation picked up Ziggy and settled him on his lap, lifting his booted feet onto the swing, cradling him close. “That ok?”

“Perfect.” Ziggy laid his head on Silas’s shoulder and placed a hand over his heart. “Go on. You were sayin’ this place gave you your center.” He kept his voice low, so it didn’t carry.