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mad dog

Heat crept in slowly, and I didn’t notice until sweat traced a line down my ribs. I closed my book and indulged in a deep, satisfying stretch that made my spine crack and my muscles relax. Everything was bright—the ocean was a thousand shades of blue, and the white sand gleamed beyond the shade of our umbrella—but under the canopy, it was shady and quiet, just this side of paradise.

I reached for my phone and squinted at the screen: 1:27 p.m. No wonder my stomach was growling. I set it down and turned to the lounge chair beside mine to look at Nate—long limbs sprawled, head tilted enough to catch the line of his jaw. The rise and fall of his chest told me he was still asleep, probably dreaming of something fun and ridiculous, or maybe of me. A man could hope.

Bronzed from the sun, he was wearing only swim trunks, and I indulged in the view. I’d never get tired of looking at him. His body had surely been sculpted by some cocky Roman god with excellent taste. I licked my lips as I ran my eyes over the smooth, tan lines of his chest, his tight abs, and the hairy trail leading down from his navel. The filtered sunlight under the umbrella played tricks with the shadows, highlighting every cut and curve.

I let out a slow breath, thinking how lucky I was. We were on a beautiful island instead of still in the playoffs—we’d lost to the Barracudas in game six—but I was still happy. It had been my first playoff run, and we’d made it to the second round. I’d learned a lot to help me do better in the future. Losing to the Cudas hurt like hell, but the Caribbean sun and crashing of the waves were helping the disappointment fade away.

There was plenty of time. I was only twenty-four, with a solid rookie season behind me and a good shot at taking the Calder home. Thinking of that made my stomach flip. Being named Rookie of the Year wouldn’t erase the pain of losing the second round, but it would mean a lot.

Still, even if none of it happened—if the trophies never came and my career took a bad turn—I had Nate. Coming so close to losing him had carved something into me, a deep gratitude for what we had. Imagining life without him had been like staring into a black hole, and I never wanted to go near that edge again.

Loving him was the best part of every day. He was the air I breathed and the future I wanted, the only place I could land when trouble came. We’d been tested, and we’d prevailed. Now we were on St. John with salt on our skin and sand between our toes, holding each other close. Whatever storms came, whatever cracks tried to form, it didn’t matter. We were here. We were whole. And we were stronger than anything that tried to pull us apart.

I sat on the edge of my chair and rested a hand on Nate’s arm. He moaned but didn’t move. “Whoever you are, you’d better have a body to die for and the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“Not sure about that, but will I do?”

He opened his eyes and looked at me as a smile spread across his face. “Hey, you’re the guy I was dreaming about. Want to go back to our suite and get frisky?”

“As much as I’d like that, let’s put it on hold long enough to eat lunch.”

He rubbed his belly. “Sounds perfect. My stomach cheered as soon as you said lunch.”

We strolled down the beach to the Burger Shack, which had become our favorite lunchtime spot. Salty air, a killer breeze, and burgers that made me groan—what more could a guy ask for? After demolishing two doubles with cheese and a mountain of fries, we ordered more beer. The sun was high, and we were in the shade with nowhere to be. Nothing beats a vacation with your man.

“We’ve been here a week,” he said, tipping his chair back. “We booked for two, but want to stay for a third? The awards ceremony for the Calder won’t be for a while yet.”

We were staying at the Coral Point Resort, the best on the island. “They may not have room,” I said. “It’s a popular place.”

“If they don’t, we’ll try another place. I’m sure someone could make room for a knockout guy like you, even if you are dragging my ugly ass around.”

I took a pull from my beer and gave him a slow, filthy once-over. “Whatever your ass is, sweets, it ain’t ugly.”

He laughed, a little snort that warmed my chest. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not ridiculous. I’m right. You’re the most breathtaking man I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks.” He dropped his gaze and started peeling the label off his bottle. “Not the most confident about that kind of thing. Or most things, I guess. You know why.”

“Yeah.” I reached across the table and placed a hand on top of his. “Will you talk to Dr. Goodman about that?”

He nodded, then took a long sip of his beer. “I have been. Even during the playoffs, I didn’t miss appointments. She says facing the truth about my childhood and coming to terms with it will help my self-esteem. Having you, knowing you can love me, has already made me feel valuable. That’s a first.”

My heart kicked up a notch. “You do that for me too. Listen, whatever you need from me, I’ll give it. I want to help as much as I can.”

He smiled, and I was sure the sun got jealous. “Be Chuck,” he said. “Love me and let me love you. Let’s focus on having fun and building a good life.”

“You’ve got it.” I bounced my eyebrows. “Want to head back to the hotel? We talked about doing something after lunch, if you recall.”

He laughed, drained the rest of his beer, and stood. “Why the hell are you still sitting there? Let’s go.”

We got naked the minute we were inside our room. The breeze poured in through an open window, lifting the curtains and keeping the air cool. We made out like horny teenagers, rolling around the bed until the heat simmered just below a boil. Before things tipped over, I slid off the mattress and grabbed my suitcase from the closet.

“The fuck are you doing?” he asked. “I’m ready for action over here in case you didn’t notice.”

I found what I was looking for and turned, letting the pair of neon blue boxer briefs dangle from my fingers. His eyes went comically wide, reminding me of the cartoon characters on the underwear. He cleared his throat but said nothing.

I gave him a look. “Would you mind telling me why my missing boxers—this very pair—were in your drawer back home?”

After a few more seconds of stunned silence, he grinned like a kid caught with frosting on his face. “It must have gotten mixed in with my things when I washed clothes. Sorry.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Try again. I haven’t seen these since I moved in. Well, except for one time.”

“When?”

“Remember when we got home from that road trip to Texas? You started gaming, and I did the laundry. Imagine my surprise when I was putting your underwear away and found these in your drawer.”

“I didn’t mean to take them,” he blurted. “It was an accident. I saw them the day you moved in and thought they were funny. You came right back into the room, and I panicked. I was afraid you’d think I was a perv for touching your boxers, so I—uh—shoved them under my hoodie and forgot to return them.”

“But you didn’t forget to wear them.” I narrowed my eyes.

“For a little while.”

I let several beats pass. “What aren’t you telling me, sweets?”

He was as silent as a stone.

I glanced at the boxers, then back at him. “At least you finally washed them. When I found them the first time, they were a gross, crusty mess. You beat off in my underwear, didn’t you?”

His face turned fire-engine red. “Yes, and it was the best self-induced orgasm I ever had. Don’t bother asking if I’m sorry, because I’m not.”

“It’s okay.” I tossed the underwear on the bed and crawled in beside him. “Makes sense that a perv like you would be into that. Good news is, I’m just as bad—maybe worse. And the idea of you jacking off in my boxers is hot as hell. I might have…”

“What?”

“Might have added to that gross, crusty mess.”

He snorted. “Are you serious? I thought it had gotten bigger when I put them in the laundry.”

I gave my hard dick a few strokes. “I’ve got something big here.”

He gave a high-pitched whimper. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get what’s coming to you. But first, put on the boxers.”

“How can you fuck me if I’m wearing them?”

“Put. Them. On.”

We didn’t leave the bed until dinnertime.

* * *

The boat rocked gently in the turquoise water, bobbing in rhythm with the waves lapping against the hull. A few other couples were already there, chattering quietly and applying sunscreen. Nate, who owned a boat back home, climbed aboard like he’d been doing it all his life. As a neophyte, I narrowly avoided a pratfall, managing to catch myself on the railing before throwing myself into the first empty seat.

“You okay there, sea dog?” He smirked as he slid onto the bench beside me.

I waved him off. “Just showing the rest of the passengers what not to do.”

One of the boat’s crew, a young guy who introduced himself as Isaac, asked us to put on life vests. “Safety first,” he said. “Do you know how to do it?”

Nate grinned. “I think this is my friend’s first time. Show him the right way, and it’ll be a review for me too.”

Once we had them on properly, Isaac smiled. “I really enjoy watching you both play. Let me know if you need anything else.”

He moved on, but I was still tugging at my vest, trying to get comfortable. Nate scooted closer until our thighs were touching. “If you fall in, I’m not saving you unless you promise to make out with me underwater.”

“Sold. Might even let you cop a feel, depending on how many fish are watching.”

The boat’s motor growled to life, rumbling beneath our feet as we pulled away from the dock. It wasn’t even nine yet, but the heat was already climbing, and the wind in our faces felt good. The captain told us about the snorkeling site ahead, a quiet cove where sea turtles liked to hang out. Nate listened intently, nodding at intervals. He was relaxed and happy, and I loved how his lashes cast perfect shadows on his cheeks. I was already wishing the trip would never end; how wonderful it would be to live out the rest of our days in paradise.

When we reached the cove, the boat dropped anchor, and Isaac told us to grab our fins and masks.

“Ready to see turtles?” I asked Nate.

He snickered at the way I was fumbling with my gear. “I’m ready to watch you try to swim in flippers. You looked like a wounded pelican when we were practicing in the pool yesterday.”

“It isn’t my fault I’ve never done this before.”

We sat on the back platform, legs dangling, while we adjusted our masks. Nate bumped my shoulder with his. “Race you to the reef?”

“Only if we agree ahead of time that I win if you get distracted staring at my ass.”

He laughed. “That’s not a hypothetical, and you know it.”

We slid into the warm water, and the world dimmed when we dipped our heads beneath the surface. Everything went quiet except for the rhythmic sound of my breathing. Fish darted below us in brilliant flashes of color, weaving between soft fans of coral and ribbons of seaweed. A school of bright blue tangs zipped past Nate’s flipper, and I pointed excitedly, making a noise that must have translated to something between “wow” and “gurgle.”

We swam side by side, gliding through the surreal world. Nate pointed at a sea turtle drifting past, and we paused to watch it, hovering together in the hush of the water. He slipped his hand into mine, and we stayed like that—quiet, weightless, and connected.

Beneath us, the water was clear as glass, and the ocean floor shimmered in shades of gold and blue. Our linked silhouettes stretched across the sand in long, rippling shadows. It felt like a dream except better because I was awake, floating above the reef while Nate’s thumb traced slow, steady circles against the back of my hand.

It seemed like only a few minutes had passed when we broke the surface and swam for the boat, still quiet and still holding on. When we climbed back on board, I was grinning so hard my mask nearly popped off my face.

Nate smiled while he pulled off his flippers. “Have a good time, babe?”

“The fucking best. This might be the most romantic I’ve ever felt while covered in sea salt and wearing a too-tight life vest.”

He laughed, tipping his head back and treating me to a view of his irresistible throat. When he quieted, he rested his hand on my arm. “So, you’re saying you’d like to do this again?”

“Every chance we get.” I grabbed his vest and tugged him close enough for a kiss.

We took our time and made it the kind of moment that stole my breath and had my heart careening down a reckless road. The other passengers were too polite to stare, but when we finally had to breathe, there were a lot of smiles. Nate and I leaned against each other, shoulder to shoulder, enjoying the sea breeze as the boat hummed toward shore.

After a while, I turned to look at him, and it hit me all over again—that gut-punch of love, of how the hell did I get this lucky . His hair was a mess from the wind and salt water, his tan was deeper, and his soft expression reflected the kind of peace I’d love to give him every day. He looked like Achilles on vacation, if Achilles had brown hair, a lazy smile, and a habit of kissing his dumbass boyfriend senseless on snorkeling boats.

And me? I’d have let him conquer the world if it meant I got to keep looking at him like this.

He caught me staring and broke into a curious grin. “What?”

“I think I’m in trouble.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m already thinking about how to tell our kids this story someday. You, me, the sea turtles, and a kiss that made every other kiss in my life feel like a warm-up.”

My stomach clenched. What the fuck did I say? Holy shit, please don’t let him pull away.

He blinked, and then his lips began a slow upward curve, ending in a grin that plumped his cheeks and brought out smile lines I’d never seen.

We gazed into each other’s eyes until he nodded. “I guess we’re both in trouble, then. You, our kids, sea turtles, and magic kisses? I could never resist that.”

We didn’t talk much after that. I was holding back tears because I was too damn happy to let them fall.

“Look at how the water’s sparkling,” he said, pointing over the side of the boat. “It’s as happy as we are.”

Leaning against Nate, holding his hand, I felt whole. For the first time in my life, I didn’t need to look ahead or behind. I focused on being in the present with him.

That was everything.