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mad dog

Nana beamed at Nate. “You were awfully nice to take Chuck in, especially since you didn’t know him. I hope it’s not too much of an imposition.”

“Believe me, it’s a pleasure.” He flashed the smile that always made my pulse go haywire. “I have a big house and live alone, so I’m happy to have the company. Chuck and I hit it off right away, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten close to anyone so quickly.”

“I’m glad it’s working out. No one deserves to be lonely, and I’m sure Chuck would have been if they’d left him on his own.”

Nana was always kind to everyone, but something special had clicked since we’d arrived. After our snack, Nate insisted on helping her in the kitchen—amazing, since scrambled eggs were pretty much his limit. They carried on like long lost friends, telling stories and laughing while I watched reruns in the living room. By the end of dinner, Nate had practically become her second grandson.

After doing the dishes, we all moved to the living room. Nate and I took the couch while Nana settled into her favorite chair. I mostly stayed quiet and let them talk. She’d already known who he was since she loved hockey; now, they were totally at ease, comparing notes on everything from the ideal roses to grow in Western New York to fun places for a drive in the country. I sat there with a full heart, wondering why the sight of them together made me feel like I had everything I’d ever wanted.

“What do you think, Chuck?”

Nate’s voice pulled me back into reality. “Sorry. What do I think about what?”

“Chuck’s always been a dreamer.” Nana gave me the look—the one where the smile in her eyes outshone the one on her lips. “That’s why good things come to him. He’s always a few steps ahead of the present, envisioning what he wants to do next.”

“That’s a fantastic trait.” Nate grinned at me. “Whatever it is, I hope it works out.”

My breath caught because the look in his eyes told me exactly what he meant. “I do too, more than I can say.”

Nate and I stared into each other’s eyes, and no one said anything else until a dog started barking next door.

Glancing at his watch, Nate said, “It’s getting late, and tomorrow will be a busy day. Ready to call it a night?”

My heart flipped because, as much as I loved Nana, I was ready to have him to myself. “Yeah. Let’s head up.”

We all stood, and Nana gathered our dessert plates. “I’ll take these to the kitchen before I turn in. Don’t wait for me. Sleep well, and let me know if you need anything.”

“I’ll grab a sleeping bag,” I said, already moving toward the basement stairs.

“Meet you upstairs, babe.”

Babe? I froze mid-step, then whipped around. Nana didn’t break stride as she disappeared into the kitchen, but my heart was hammering. I stared at Nate.

His eyes went wide, and he swallowed hard, his face blanching as he mouthed, “Sorry.”

I mouthed back, “What the hell?”, but there wasn’t time for more.

With my pulse thundering in my ears, I bolted down to the basement, took my old sleeping bag off the shelf, and collapsed into a chair. My hands trembled as I scrubbed them over my face. Had Nana heard? She hadn’t reacted, but calling someone “babe” had an unmistakable meaning, and if she had picked it up, her mind had to be doing cartwheels.

He hadn’t even said it quietly; he’d used his regular voice. Jesus.

After a few shaky breaths, I pushed to my feet and walked upstairs. Nate was sitting on the edge of my bed, shoulders hunched, head bowed like all the air had gone out of him. I closed the door, dropped the sleeping bag by the wall, and leaned against the desk. I needed a second to take him in.

When he lifted his head, the look on his face gutted me—pale and stricken, like he expected me to tear into him. His hand dragged over the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, Chuck.” His voice wavered. “It just came out. I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry.”

The tension I’d been carrying melted away. One look at him, at the guilt dulling his beautiful eyes, and it was impossible to stay irritated. I kept my voice quiet. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“I know.” His glanced away and stared at the old trophies on the bookshelf like they might explain what had happened. “Chuck?”

I crossed the room and sat beside him. “I’m here. Please look at me.”

When he turned, his eyes were wide and shiny. He pressed his lips together, then blurted, “I meant it. You’re right that I’ve never said it before, but I’ve thought it about you. I’ve used the word with people in the past, but…” He trailed off, breathing hard.

He meant it? My heart practically tripped over itself. “Finish what you were going to say. You’ve used the word before, but…”

He looked at me like he was afraid the rest of the sentence might destroy something. “But I never meant it like this. I like you a hell of a lot, Chuck.”

“I know. It’s the same for me. We’ve talked about this?—”

He shook his head, cutting me off. “Let me finish. I’ve got all these emotions running around inside me. I don’t even know what to call them, but they’re about you. I’ve always been good at denial. That’s one reason I get so goofy, you know? Deflect, distract, crack a joke. But this is too big to ignore.”

I nodded but didn’t know what to say.

He swallowed. “I want to call you babe, so I will. If you don’t like it…”

When he tried to look away, I caught his chin between my finger and thumb. His words had unlocked something I’d been trying to hide, and we had to settle this before I went there. “I like you calling me babe, but not in front of Nana, okay? Not until we figure out what we’re doing. And not in front of the team either.”

He huffed. “You think I’m an idiot? It slipped out once, but I’m not about to go shouting it across the locker room. The word escaped, and I’m not cramming it back into my brain prison, but I will be careful.” His voice trembled when he added, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

I slipped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “I’m not mad. I told you I liked it. We already use our real names with each other, so call me babe except?—”

“Not in front of her or the guys.” His eyes were soft, searching for something. “What is this? What’s happening with us?”

That was a damn good question. We had sex. We kissed and held each other. We slept in the same bed almost every night, and when we weren’t together, I missed him like hell. No wonder we were both confused.

“I don’t understand it either,” I said. “But this thing is big.”

Our eyes locked, and something shifted—something real I couldn’t ignore, no matter how much it scared me. My voice came out rough. “I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone, Nate. I don’t know what the hell to do with that except keep on liking you.”

“More than anyone, huh?” He smiled. “I feel the same. No one’s ever understood me like you do or made me feel this way. What does that make us?”

I swallowed hard. “When this started, we said we didn’t need a label, but that’s changed. Now, I think we do.”

“Agreed. I believe I could relax if I had something to hang my hat on.”

The answer came to me in a rush, and I squeezed his shoulder. “What if we make up our own label?”

He chuckled. “Sounds like something we would do. Got anything in mind?”

“Yeah.” My heart was pounding, but I pushed on. “If we’ve never felt this way about anyone before, why not say we’re RD friends?”

His brow furrowed. “RD?”

“‘Ride or die,’” I said, grinning. “Because that’s what you are to me. That’s what we are.”

“RD friends? Not ROD friends?”

I laughed so hard I had to put my hand over my mouth. “ROD friends? As in ‘rod’?”

“Hey.” He bounced his eyebrows and pointed at my crotch. “You’ve got one hell of a rod there, so why not?”

“Yours is bigger than mine.”

He snorted. “Let’s just say we’ve both got big rods, so ROD friends sounds about right.”

I shook my head. “You’re on, my irresistible ROD friend.”

We laughed, and I couldn’t help thinking how this was such a Nate and Chuck thing to do. “Our own category. It fits perfectly.”

“I like that,” he said. “It gives us room to figure everything out.”

I gave him a little smirk. “One condition, though.” He raised an eyebrow, so I went on. “You call me ‘babe’ when you want to, and I’ll call you ‘sweets.’”

“And we only do the ‘babe’ and ‘sweets’ in private?”

“Absolutely.”

He held out a hand. “To being ROD friends.”

“ROD friends it is, but ROD friends don’t shake on things.”

“We don’t?”

“Nope.” I leaned toward him. “We kiss, sweets.”

His lips were the warm reassurance I needed. We wrapped our arms around each other for a bone-crushing hug, and when we broke for air, he showed me a crooked smile. “I know another way we could celebrate our new label.”

“I’ve thought of that already, but Nana’s right across the hall.”

“No worries,” he whispered. “I can be quiet when I jerk off.”

That made me laugh. “The fuck, Holky? You moan like a man-slut and then roar like a lion when you come.”

“Screw you, Dog. You grunt with every stroke and howl like a wolf when you come.”

“Why don’t we cuddle like we always do? Nana sets her alarm for five every morning, and when you and I wake up, I’d like to…” My chest fluttered the same way it did whenever I was about to say something that mattered. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot, what’s happening between us. I want to suck your dick.”

His eyes widened, and he blinked, clearly trying to process what I’d said. “You mean that?”

“Yeah.” My cheeks grew hot, but I held his gaze. “I want to make you feel good.”

“But you’ve never given a blow job before.”

“Right, but I’ve had it done to me plenty of times, so I know how good it feels. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about it, and I’m not expecting anything in return. I want to suck you because it’s you… and because we’re us.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“I’m sure I want to try, and if I don’t like it, fine. But if I do, you’ll get a lot of them.”

His gaze sharpened. “You don’t have to do anything to prove you care about me. I already know that.”

“I get it. I want to suck you off to show how much I care about you, not prove it.”

His eyes glistened, and he leaned his forehead against mine. “Okay. But promise you’ll tell me if it’s too much or doesn’t feel right.”

“I promise. This isn’t only about sex, Nate. It’s about trust.”

He let out a slow, shaky breath. “Then yeah. I mean, I’ve never been a guy who turns down blow jobs, but it’s always been for fun. It’ll be different with you. I want to experience it together.” He paused, throat working. “I’ve been thinking about it too, and I’d like to suck you, if that’s okay.”

“I told you I’m not expecting anything in return.”

“Babe,” he said with a soft smile, “do I need to quote your whole speech right back to you?”

I shook my head. “You don’t even know how much I’d like to get head from you. Same deal? Tell me if it’s too much or you’re not into it? No pressure either way.”

“Same deal. Everything you said, right back at you.”

I was so fucking tempted to say we should go for it then, but waiting would be more considerate of Nana, and it would make things even more special. “Hell yeah, you can blow me anytime you want.”

“All right, then. To new experiences with my babe.”

We shared another kiss—and boy, what a great kiss it was. I hoped I could make it through the night without giving in to temptation.