37

holky

The second Chuck threatened to carry me inside, I knew I’d lost—not just the argument, but everything. The flimsy house of cards I’d built out of fear and excuses collapsed under the weight of him. Chuck was immovable, unstoppable, and unless I planned to full-body tackle him in the garden, I didn’t stand a chance.

The ground seemed unsteady as I followed him to the door. He moved with his usual confidence and didn’t look back, leaving me to realize how much I loved that in him, how much his quiet strength had helped me. Inside, he headed straight for the living room, where he sat on a couch and I sank onto the same loveseat I’d shared with Abby only an hour earlier.

The silence pressed down like a weight as neither of us spoke. I was caught in a world of confusion, wondering whether to bolt or throw myself at him. I was afraid of hurting him and terrified he’d hurt me, but all I’d thought about since the guys left was how Chuck and I were meant to be together. Now, instead having the relationship I’d always dreamed of, I’d screwed everything up by driving him away.

For someone who’d dragged me inside to talk, he sure was quiet. The longer he sat there in silence, the harder my heart pounded, until I finally met his eyes, silently begging him to say something—anything—to ease the tension stretched so tight I could barely breathe.

Finally, he leaned forward. “You don’t have to say anything. Just hear me out.”

I nodded since I was too nervous to talk.

“I love you, Nate. I’m not afraid of your ghosts or of what might happen if you get scared again or things get hard. I’m stronger than you think I am. You won’t destroy me, so love me the best way you know how. That’s all I want.”

My chest tightened. Chuck’s words hit deeper than I wanted to admit, loosening something I’d tried hard to lock down. I stared at him as he licked his lips and curved them into a smile. “I know you think you’re broken, but you’re not. You are a beautiful, smart, funny man. You’re everything I need.”

His eyes burned into mine, and the space between us thrummed with something electric and undeniable. Every hair on my arms stood at attention, like my body knew the truth my mouth was too afraid to say.

“I get that you’re scared,” he went on, “and I believe I understand why, but hear me.” He leaned forward and didn’t blink. “You have more capacity to love than anyone I’ve ever known, and you are worthy of love.”

My body pulled tight, like I was seconds from shattering. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, trying to hold it together, but it was no use. I was shaking, caught between falling apart and letting go.

“I can’t—” His voice cracked, but he didn’t look away when tears filled his eyes. “You showed me what it feels like to be alive. To be loved for who I am instead of the loud, clown-ass version I used to hide behind.” He dragged in a shaky breath. When he spoke again, his voice was low and urgent. “I always thought the right person would be my other half. But that’s not it. You didn’t complete me, Nate. You helped me realize I wasn’t missing anything to begin with, and you gave me the space to grow into the guy I was always supposed to be.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Now I’m whole. And every part of me belongs to you.”

I took a breath. “You…” The words died there, caught in the storm of everything I was feeling.

Chuck leaned closer, his eyes sharp with determination. “I’m not walking away, sweets. Not now, not ever.”

I pressed my hand to my mouth, but it didn’t stop the tears. “I love you more than you could possibly know, but I’m fucking terrified I’ll ruin us.”

“That’s what you’re doing now.” He said it like the fact it was.

“I thought I was protecting you. Some of the guys came over earlier—Logan, Riley, and Abby—and what they said made sense. I’m still confused, though. I need you so much I can’t wrap my mind around it, but that doesn’t take my fear away. I know you don’t want to hear it again, but what if I fuck things up?”

He held out his hand, palm open. “We’ll both mess up, Nate. There is no what if ; it’s a certainty. We’ll screw up together, and then we’ll deal with it together. But let’s be brave enough to love each other anyway. That’s what will get us through the tough times.”

I wished he could give me some of his confidence. How was he so certain I wouldn’t leave him hanging? I wanted to grab his hand, pull him into my arms, and never let go. Yet that same fucking voice was still inside me: what if I fail him?

Then another thought came, quieter and clearer. What if this is the moment I ruin everything? Not by failing him later, but by being too scared to try now?

That was something I wouldn’t be able to live with. Losing him—not because I broke his heart, but because I didn’t have the guts to take a leap when it mattered—would haunt me forever. I wasn’t built for regrets. I never had been, and I wasn’t about to start now.

My fingers twitched, and I looked at him, locking onto the certainty in his eyes. Chuck wasn’t asking me to be perfect; he was offering to stand beside me. With my heart thundering, I reached out a shaky hand and took his. He squeezed, and I knew deep in my bones that I was doing the right thing.

I didn’t know how long we spent lost in each other’s eyes, but the lamps switching on brought me into the real world. “I can’t promise I’ll stop worrying, but I’ll try. You are the most important thing in my life. When I pushed you away, I thought I’d lost you for good, and I didn’t know how I’d go on. I’ll do everything I can to be worthy of the faith you have in me.”

“You said you’ll try to stop worrying about it, and that’s all you can do. It’s enough, because we’re in this together. We’re here to help each other.”

“You’ve got it. And I’ll… I’ll double down on therapy and be completely honest with Dr. Goodman. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I believe she can help me change the way I think.”

He smiled. “I’m proud of you. I’ve got your back, whatever you need.” He gave my hand another squeeze before moving to the loveseat.

Our eyes met, and reaching for him was as natural as breathing. “I love you, Chuck. I’ll work hard every day to show you how much.”

“Same here.” He brushed a fingertip along my cheekbone, making me shiver. “We’ve got this, sweets. As long as we’re in it together, we’re solid.”

Our lips met, and the kiss was soft and slow. It felt like we were relearning each other from the inside out. He kept his eyes on mine when he drew away, and even though the kiss had ended, the connection hadn’t gone anywhere.

His eyes sparkled. “Should we go to bed?”

“Oh yeah.” I gave him a slow grin. “Make-up sex is mandatory.”

We stood, and I led him to the bedroom and undressed him in silence. I’d been afraid I’d never get to touch him again, so I took my time, kissing every inch of skin I revealed. His socks came last. He sat on the edge of the bed while I knelt, pulled them off, and kissed his feet. He shivered when I licked up his calf and trailed kisses across his thigh. His cock stirred, thickening, and I ran my tongue along the side of his shaft.

He pulled me into a soft, slow kiss. When we broke for air, he asked, “Did you sleep last night?”

I shook my head. “Hardly at all. I had awful dreams.”

“Same.” He nodded toward the bed. “Why don’t we lie down for a bit?”

A tendril of doubt curled in my chest. “You don’t want to…? I thought we were celebrating.”

He tilted his head, lips curving into the crooked smile that always knocked me off balance. “Don’t worry, we will.” One brow lifted. “But wouldn’t it be better if we slept first? I’ll have more energy.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Stamina matters, babe. Especially with how hard you like it.”

That grin sealed it, and I smiled back. “Sounds good. I’ll have more energy too, so you’d better rest. You’ll need it to keep up with me.”

He smirked. “Careful what you promise.”

“Babe, I’ll show you how glad I am you didn’t give up on us.”

“One condition.”

I snorted. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Get up so I can take your clothes off. I want to see you naked.”