Page 9 of Shielding his Legacy (Shattered SEALs #7)
Eva braced her weight on the edge of the car seat as Abby drained the last of the milk from her breast. She was growing so used to contorting herself in an effort to feed her daughter, she was certain she could be a successful circus performer before Abby was able to eat solid foods.
Come to think of it, maybe then she’d be able to pay her bills and provide for her child. The thought was accurate and unwelcome, and she pushed it away even as it settled between the lobes of her brain, hanging on tight for the long road in front of her.
Her mind was all too eager to heed her call for a change of subject, remembering the shocked look in Gavin’s eyes as he watched the humiliating demonstration of her leaky post-partum state.
Thank God he couldn’t see my stomach, she thought, imagining his horror as he took in the changes in her body since he’d last seen her naked.
Not only was her belly covered in angry red stretch marks, it was distended as if she was permanently going to appear four months pregnant for the rest of her long, lonely life, and she couldn’t bear for the same man who’d whispered reverent praise of her figure during the weekend they shared together to be shocked and appalled by what had become of her physique.
Not that she’d been thin before, though he’d clearly liked what he’d seen at the time.
God, she shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t let herself think about the time they’d spent together in bed.
Those memories were better left for the lonely nights when she allowed herself to believe what they’d shared was real—that he would somehow come to his senses—if only so she could finally get a few hours of restless sleep.
She looked down at Abby and used her finger to break the suction between her breast and the sleeping baby’s perfect little Cupid’s bow mouth. Suddenly, she was so tired, as if the stress of these past few months was bearing down on her with the heat of a thousand suns.
She straightened, turning to contemplate the shower that had felt so damn good just fifteen minutes before.
Should she get back in, or would Abby just awaken the moment Eva finally relaxed beneath that powerful, hot spray?
Leave it to Gavin to have more jets than her body had parts, with a glass door extending to a tiled ceiling to trap in the steam.
It was more than heavenly. It was decadence and bliss, the kind of shower that was begging for a torrid love scene in a movie, and she couldn’t help but wonder what woman had done the honor of being pinned between Gavin’s thrusting hips and that hard tile wall.
Whoever she was, she probably hadn’t gotten pregnant, and she probably hadn’t proclaimed her love after only two days in his bed.
She rolled her eyes at the memory. He was worldly and vital, the contrast between his cynical view and her own Pollyanna version making her seem ridiculously childish by comparison. And maybe she had been, but the last year had gone a long way toward maturing her quickly.
Looking back at Abby, she weighed her options and shivered. While the shower had been hot and wonderful, there was a distinct chill in the bathroom that had seeped into her limbs when she got out to tend to her daughter, the cool temperature now reaching all the way to her bones.
What was the worst that could happen if she asked Gavin to watch Abby? He’d have to call her for help? But maybe, just maybe, she’d get some time to herself—a commodity that had been in short supply these past few months.
Decision made, she looked at her dirty clothing in a small heap on the floor before opting for a thick navy-blue robe from the back of the door.
She wrapped it tightly around her. From the scent of his familiar musk on the collar, she would have known this was Gavin’s robe even if she pulled it around herself twenty years from now and halfway around the world.
His heavily muscled arms had been in these sleeves. His naked—
Stop it.
You need a shower and some food and a bed.
Preferably one with you alone in it.
Tying the belt around her waist, she carefully picked up the car seat and opened the door. “Gavin?” she called softly, trying not to wake the baby.
He appeared at the bottom of the steps. “Yeah?”
“Think you could watch her for a while, after all? She’s asleep now.”
“Sure.” He quickly climbed the stairs, and she watched as he took the car seat like he was being entrusted with the last remaining Faberge egg.
“Thanks.” Moving back into the bathroom, she closed the door—locking it this time—before untying his bathrobe and letting it slip from her shoulders.
Stepping back into the shower, she again started that glorious spray, grateful Gavin was there to take the baby for a while.
This must be what it was like to have a baby with a partner by your side.
The corners of her mouth pulled down hard, the thought instantly making her sad.
This would be her only opportunity to experience what so many women took for granted.
Self-pity and fatigue percolated through her bloodstream, a heady mix that was more than enough to push her over the edge after the events of the last few days.
Letting her chin fall to her chest, she walked herself into the pulsating spray and wept.