Page 4 of Shielding his Legacy (Shattered SEALs #7)

Gavin was right back there, standing on the side of the road on that sweltering summer day.

Eva’s hands were on her hips, cut-off jeans slung low and her long red hair blowing on the dry breeze as she surveyed her flat tire.

His reflexive helping of a stranger had so easily turned into something more, the chemistry between them off the charts and soaring higher.

He wasn't in Arizona to pick up chicks, but to bury a friend. Another of his SEAL brothers had given up the fight, making four men down out of eight from his last mission. The mission that had changed everything.

Four men down and counting.

He knew the horror they faced, the monster in the mirror, taunting them.

Every day was a struggle. Every fucking one.

Death held an appeal life no longer offered, and Gavin understood it all too well.

If he was being honest, the temptation to be free of his burden was at times the most real thing in his world.

So, he told himself to keep his distance from the gorgeous young woman on the side of the road, to keep from staring into those interested eyes that could only lead to a bed with her in it, naked beneath him.

Yes, she was beautiful, but she was young—too young for him to feel such a pull.

Clearly not yet twenty-five. He’d never been interested in women younger than him.

Quite the opposite. But there was no denying his attraction was strong as they joked and chatted.

He changed her tire and lowered the car with the jack, fully prepared to leave and never look back.

“Would you like to grab something to eat?” she asked, her head cocked to the side, looking even younger than she had as she grinned tentatively.

Don’t do it.

But he was already smiling back. “I sure would.”

Images of that weekend flashed in his head, sex so all-consuming he dreamed about it to this day.

But another memory rushed to the surface from their last night together, him firmly in the grip of a nightmare’s shadow, his fingers spanning her neck and applying pressure as he sheathed himself inside her.

Her head was thrown back and she cried out, “Yes…” his grip slowly tightening.

He wore no condom.

Fuck.

His fingers jerked apart as he came fully awake, the nightmare still half-holding him in its grip. He’d moved inside her in his sleep—dreaming of war, of death, of control—and it had crossed into reality.

But Eva was awake. Her hands were on his back, pulling him closer, her voice a soft, breathless moan against his ear. “Yes,” she’d whispered. “God, Gavin, yes…”

Relief and revulsion crashed over him. She was willing—eager even—but he hadn’t been. Not really. He hadn't chosen to make love to her that way, hadn’t meant to blur the line between nightmares and need.

His rhythm faltered, but he couldn’t stop. Not with her whispering his name like a lifeline. Not with his soul clawing its way out of the dark.

Their lovemaking that weekend had tethered him to sanity—but it had come too close to the edge of personal devastation. He’d been a hair’s breadth away from giving the dragon free reign, and nothing terrified him more than that.

He’d never forgiven himself, and he hadn’t touched another woman since. Because if he couldn’t trust himself with Eva—the one person who made him feel whole—he couldn’t trust himself at all.

But now she was back, standing before him as if a single moment hadn’t passed since she was in his bed. She turned her body to face him fully, a baby nestled in her arms.

A goddamn baby.

His feet stopped, refusing to move, the moment searing itself into the very fiber of his being.

Not a newborn, but too small to crawl or walk.

A couple of months old, then. His trip to Phoenix had been just after the new year.

Now it was what, December? Wisps of red hair covered the baby’s head, just like Eva’s. Green eyes the same color as his own.

Eva nodded. “She’s yours.”

The earth seemed to open in a great chasm, swallowing him alive. His stare wouldn’t move from his daughter. Flesh and blood, the child he never thought he’d have and wasn’t good enough to care for.

She had my baby.

I got this sweet thing pregnant the night I nearly killed her.

Dizziness made his head swim.

It had been a moment of impaired judgement, entering her in a dream state, battling with the dragon while he rode the edge of ecstasy and wakefulness like a star shooting between the black sky and earth.

But the end result didn’t consider the circumstances.

They’d climaxed together, his cock buried balls-deep inside her, his genes staying behind long after he’d walked away.

“Come with me.” He walked past her, the ground not registering beneath his feet as he led her into the nearest office and locked the door behind them, fighting the fog that swallowed his brain at this surreal turn of events.

Why hadn’t she told him she was pregnant?

While they hadn’t kept in touch, clearly she was able to find him, and the realization that she hadn’t wanted to before now was like acid filling up his insides.

He had a daughter, a perfect little baby girl, and his mind stuttered to fully comprehend this development.

Why had Eva sought him out now? Did she want money? A relationship? He’d happily give her the former, but there was no way in hell they could ever be a couple, no matter how often he dreamed of her. Baby or no baby, he was a danger to any woman who got too close to him—but this one most of all.

She stood in front of him now, her cheeks full of color like they were at the height of passion, those blue eyes tucked too tightly inside his soul for his comfort.

“Do you want to hold her?” she asked.

The question struck him as absurd. He’d never held a baby in his life, and he was barely managing coordinated movements as it was.

“No.” He moved to the desk, perching on it as he faced her.

He cocked his head, staring at her feet, concern for her wellbeing shifting his focus outward once more. “Where are your shoes?”

She opened her mouth and closed it again on a sigh. “It’s a long story.”

Her voice held a weariness that stirred his empathy, and he noted the faint circles beneath her eyes.

Having their child alone couldn’t have been easy, but she no longer needed to handle this on her own.

His fingers itched to touch her hair, to hold her close and shore her up, but he didn’t know how to cross the divide that separated them—and knew that he shouldn’t.

“Looks like you have a few of them to tell me.”

The baby broke out in a wail, rubbing her face against Eva’s shirt. “She’s hungry. I need to feed her.”

His heart galloped as he imagined her revealing her perky, soft breast and offering it to the child to suckle, that nipple that he’d exalted with his own mouth and tongue, but she only bent down and took a bottle out of a big pink bag.

Thank God.

She was quiet for some time before lifting reddened eyes to his.

“I have to get to Phoenix. I don’t have any money or clothes or anything, and I can’t go back to my apartment.

” She frowned, and he suspected she was trying not to break down.

“I can’t believe I’m asking this from you.

” She said “you” as if he was beneath human standing, like she had so little respect for him she would gladly be speaking to anyone else, and he felt her disgust like a swift kick to the gut.

Clearly, she saw through him to the rotten core beneath, and as much as it hurt him, he was grateful for that. She wasn’t the naive young woman he’d bedded for days in an orgy of sexual oblivion and mutual adoration. She knew exactly who he was and every good thing he could never be again.

“But I need help,” she said, the words obviously costing her. “Money. Then we’ll get out of your hair. I promise.”

All he had to do was give her a pile of cash, ignore the myriad questions circling in his mind, and she’d leave his life—with his child—forever. It should be everything he wanted. An escape from the intense obligation that had just walked through the door.

So why did the very idea feel like dying?

He’d walked away from Eva once, the loss tempered by knowing she was better off without him.

But to never see his child grow up… that was a different type of hell all together.

He’d only just found out the baby existed, yet his entire nervous system was a pulsing, knotted cluster of emotions.

When he spoke, his voice was strangled. “What’s her name? ”

“Abby.”

The two simple syllables seared his soul like a brand. His daughter’s name was Abby, and he understood nothing in his life would ever be the same—just like when he’d met Eva.

His stare raked over Eva like a hawk’s hooked talons over warm, supple flesh.

She was weary and worn, yet stunningly beautiful, his eyes soaking up her essence.

She’d put on weight, and it suited her, adding a voluptuousness to a figure that was already deeply alluring, and he longed to feel the shape of her in his hands.

He couldn’t get enough of her.

Every cell in his body wanted to get close to her body, to pull her against him and shelter her from the storm, but she was more of a threat to his sanity than Cleats had been.

If he’d hurt Cleats, Razorback would have stopped him.

But no one could keep Eva safe from what the dragon inside him might do.

Shame crested over his mind, bathing his thoughts in regret. She deserved so much better. Both of them—this woman and his child. But the only way to keep this woman safe was to keep her away—even if it meant staying away from his daughter, forever.