Page 19 of Shielding his Legacy (Shattered SEALs #7)

Eva entered the convenience store while Gavin pumped gas.

She was on a mission to find chocolate and coffee, though she longed for a tall, fancy latte with salted caramel and whipped cream, the likes of which she hadn’t fully appreciated the last time she’d hit a coffee shop in New York City.

The concoction was her one true vice, and not something she was willing to forgo while she was nursing—though she had cut back considerably.

She looked around with a sigh. Beaner’s Gas & Sip’s offerings weren’t likely to hold a candle to a real coffee shop’s selection. Picking out a chocolate bar speckled with bits of toffee, she opted for a bottled cold brew and found Gavin’s Mountain Dew, then headed to the register.

There below the counter was a selection of condoms. She sucked in her cheeks. She’d never bought condoms before, and she’d be lying if she didn’t admit to being uncomfortable and unsure of their various… features.

She shot a sideways look at the cashier, a middle-aged woman with a thick torso and unnaturally black hair, wearing a red T-shirt that said Beaner’s in yellow cursive lettering. The cashier looked back at her with dead eyes. “Help you find something, sweetie?”

“No,” Eva said too quickly. Looking uncomfortably around the store, she saw there was no one else in the building. She turned back to the woman. Her nametag said Debbie. “Uhm, quick question.”

When she didn’t continue, Debbie raised her eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“These, uh…” her voice trailed off as she pointed at the condom display. “These…”

“Condoms.”

“Right. Condoms. Is there one in particular you’d uh… recommend?”

Debbie’s raucous laughter came out in a shocking bark, her face transformed with mirth. “There all the same to me, sweetheart. Except maybe the ribbed ones, though that was never my thing. If God meant for dingdongs to have speedbumps, he would have put them on there himself.”

“Right, of course.” Eva put her best amused expression on her face, wishing she was dead. “But other than the…ribbed ones, they’re all kind of the same?”

A flash of kindness crossed the older woman’s face. She leaned over the counter and reached for a small red box, dropping them by the register as she straightened. “Can’t go wrong with these.”

Eva paid for her purchases and tucked the box into the pocket of her jeans before heading to the truck.

That was embarrassing as hell, but at least Debbie had been nice.

And now, if she found herself pinned beneath Gavin and that glorious cock, they wouldn’t have a built-in reason to put the brakes on.

Climbing into the front seat, she’d just buckled-in when the screen of Gavin’s phone lit up from its holder on the dash. It was a text from someone named Marina.

GOT YOUR MESSAGE YESTERDAY. I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD CALL. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’RE BACK IN TOWN SO WE CAN GET TOGETHER.

Yesterday?

Eva felt like she’d been sucker-punched.

She wasn’t an idiot. Of course, Gavin dated other women.

He had a life. But yesterday? He’d called this woman yesterday?

Yesterday Eva had stood barefoot in the HERO Force office with her head in her hands.

Yesterday Gavin found out she’d had his baby.

And apparently, yesterday he’d also been on the prowl, sniffing up some other woman’s skirt.

Maybe he called this Marina before Eva showed up.

But that was less than likely, given that she’d arrived just after nine in the morning.

What did this chick look like, anyway? Eva imagined Marina was older, sophisticated, with none of the baby fat that seemed to be permanently affixed to her own padded frame, and not a single stretch mark to mar her good looks.

In Eva’s mind, Marina wore an evening gown, long and black and clingy, that showed off her exquisite body to perfection.

She’d run her long red nails along Gavin’s nape, then turn to notice Eva and Abby, the look on her face clearly asking who’d let the extras from Oliver Twist come in from the cold.

Gavin’s door opened and she looked straight ahead, swallowing on the dryness that had taken over her throat.

Reaching forward, he took the Mountain Dew from the cup holder and twisted the top off with a crisp whhsshh. He took a long drink before putting it back. “Thanks. What’d you get?”

“Me? Chocolate.”

“I remember you got that in the hotel.”

“Did I?” she turned the candy bar over in her hands. “Just a typical woman, I guess. We all like our chocolate.”

He hesitated before starting the truck, then flipped through his texts before pulling away from the station.

“Anything important?” she asked innocently.

“Just some work stuff.” Pulling out onto the road, he made his way onto the highway ramp and quickly got up to speed.

Eva knew she had no right to be angry. None at all.

She wasn’t angry, actually. More like peeved.

Irritated. Annoyed on behalf of her entire gender and sexual orientation.

Her next words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Looked like Marina was pretty anxious to talk to you.” Her eyes stayed on the road, and she felt rather than saw the whip of his head toward her.

“Were you looking at my phone?"

Now she did look at him, though his attention was back on the road. “I didn’t pick it up and scroll through it, if that’s what you’re implying. It went off while you were pumping gas. I just glanced at the screen.”

He was quiet a moment. “You’re jealous.”

“Oh, please. I am not.”

“A woman texted me about getting together, you saw it, and now you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m irritated, Gavin. There’s a difference.” There was no stopping her now. She only hoped she came out on the other side of this argument looking less pathetic than she currently felt. “She said you called her yesterday. Was that before or after I showed up at HERO Force?”

“After.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, it stung like a slap.

She hadn’t expected him to admit it so easily, and with such a lack of remorse for hurting her feelings.

What a fool she’d been, believing he wanted her and only her.

She’d gone down on him and reveled in the taste of him, thrilling at his seeming loss of control, but Gavin wasn’t interested in a real relationship with her in the slightest. Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked out her window, wishing she hadn’t said anything about the phone message at all.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” he asked.

“No. I am definitely not going to ask you why.”

“Why not?”

She twisted around to face him. “Stop it. It’s obvious why you’re talking to this woman, and I don’t appreciate being made fun of.

Forgive me if I didn’t expect you to be making plans to meet up with someone else mere hours after I walked back into your life with your baby in my arms. My bad. ” She turned back toward the window.

“Eva…” he touched her shoulder.

She shook him off. “Don’t touch me.”

“She works for HERO Force.”

“How nice for you both.”

“Damn it, Eva.” He made an exasperated sound. “She’s the team therapist, okay? A military psychologist. Mac’s been on my dick to sit down with her. When you showed up with the baby…” his voice trailed off. “I thought I could use some help figuring out what to do.”

Therapist?

He wanted help figuring out what to do… about her?

Begrudgingly, she turned her head toward him. “She said she was hoping you’d call.”

He laughed without humor. “Yeah, because she’s seen what a hot fucking mess my life is, and she’s been wanting to help. Guess I finally decided to let her.”

Gavin had reached out to a therapist for help. Because of her.

“Sorry I was messing with you,” he said, sighing heavily.

“I just… I was embarrassed. I don’t know what…

or how… I’ve never done this before, Evie.

I’ve never had a kid. I’ve never had a therapist. I’ve never wanted anything from a woman besides right now, never needed to work on myself or figure out how to change. I’ve never had… a you.”

I’ve never had… a you.

Those words rolled around in her mind with a satisfying vibration like the reverberation of a bell.

She wasn’t sure what they meant. She doubted Gavin had any idea, either.

They seemed to speak to a greater question, to an importance neither one of them yet understood.

When she spoke, her voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry I looked at your phone. "

He reached toward her, extending his hand, palm up on the bench seat. She took it, and he brought her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. “We’re going to figure this out.” He rubbed her knuckles with his calloused thumb.

She thought of the dead men outside his cabin in the Catskills, and a chill ran up her spine. She thought of her ransacked apartment, the gunfire outside her bedroom in the safehouse and her mad dash for safety with the baby in her arms.

It was awful, horrifying. Yet it had brought her back to Gavin.

She didn’t know how they were going to figure any of this out, least of all her attraction to this man and their relationship going forward. But just for this moment, she chose to believe he was right.

They would figure it all out.

Her hand rested in his as they drove down the highway, looking like any other family around.

Eva let herself pretend it was true, desperate for the warmth and security she felt between them.

But she wasn’t nearly as naive as she’d been a year ago, and she was all too aware of the heavy price that would need to be paid for indulging in this illusion.