Page 7 of Shadow Boxed (Shadow Warriors #2)

Even though her time with Daniel had been so short.

Too short. That desolate, internal blizzard bore down again.

Her throat tightened. Her chest ached. Her arms felt empty.

She’d never get to hold him again. Never get to see him find his le'ven'a or welcome his own anvaat into the world.

Her breathing hitched. His life had stretched before him with such promise, only to be cut so brutally short.

It wasn’t fair.

Olivia squeezed Muriel’s hand before dropping it and urging Muriel to her feet. “I know you love working at the animal refuge, but you’re still young. And Gracie is an adult now. You could go back to college, become a veterinarian like you originally planned. It’s not too late.”

Muriel shrugged and followed Olivia across the waiting room, trying to focus past the swelling pain, with its icy bite. “It’s not worth the effort. I ended up exactly where I needed to be. I’m still working with animals.”

Oliva’s pace slowed and a thoughtful look crossed her face. “You certainly have an affinity for animals, as proven by our new friend Penny the peacock. I still think our great mother gifted you with the wildling touch.”

Muriel shook her head, forcing a smile. “I was never blessed with clan magic or a clan totem.”

Olivia already knew this. Everyone knew this.

In her adolescence, the great mother’s rejection had shamed her, pained her.

She’d prayed to the Blue Moon Mother incessantly, asking why she’d been forsaken.

What had she done to offend? Generations of Ravensbloods had been favored by the elder gods.

So had all her mother’s relatives. Until her. And now Gracie.

But she’d long ago accepted this spurning, learned to live a good life without the elder gods’ blessing.

Perhaps O’Neill’s lack of a clan claiming had partially drawn her to him originally.

Their rejection by the elder gods was something they shared.

But then, just before graduation, the day after their night together, he’d made the heschrmal claiming and the entire Brenahiilo had turned their backs on him.

She hadn’t believed him—why would the elder gods favor him? Someone with no clan magic anywhere in his family background? Why would he find favor, while she remained shunned? Even so, if he’d come to her, told her of his gifting, she wouldn’t have demanded proof. Not like so many others.

She’d been such an ungrateful anvaa back then, so certain of her own worth, certain the great mother had made a mistake.

Did Gracie mourn her lack of the wilding gift as much as Muriel had during her adolescence?

Daniel, being so strongly gifted, must have felt like a slap to her daughter.

Samuel’s gift had felt like a punishment to Muriel for years.

Did Gracie feel less than her Javaanee?

Maybe. Maybe not. It was difficult to read her daughter most of the time.

A distance had long stretched between them, one Muriel had never been able to bridge.

After Daniel had received his totem from the raven spirit, she’d tried to talk to Gracie about the situation, tried to commiserate with her.

Their lack of wilding magic was something they shared.

..something they could have bonded over.

But no, Gracie had just stared at her with impassive eyes, quietly claimed the lack of a totem didn’t matter, and walked away.

But then, she should have known Gracie wouldn’t respond.

Her daughter shared herself with no one.

Not Muriel. Not her grandparents. Not her uncle.

The only person she’d let into her heart was Daniel.

Muriel loved her daughter, she did, but even as an infant Gracie had been.

.. detached: crying and squirming when Muriel picked her up; turning away from her breast; not wanting to cuddle; not wanting to be picked up.

As she’d aged, she never sought Muriel out for comfort over skinned knees, bruises, or personal problems. Instead, she’d locked her feelings down, swallowed her fears and ambitions, and hidden within the shadow of her popular, extroverted brother.

Muriel knew Gracie must be grieving Daniel’s death along with the rest of them.

Her children shared the same twin connection Muriel had with Samuel.

Her daughter must miss that bond, must miss her brother.

But Gracie refused to share her grief. Refused to release it.

Just held it tightly to her chest and drifted through the peripheral of Muriel’s life.

“…the mother gifts each of us in different ways…”

Muriel tuned back in to Olivia, trying to focus on what the other woman was saying. They paused in front of the swinging blue door that separated the interior of the emergency room from the waiting area.

“Has Samuel mentioned what the Blue Moon Mother gifted to me?” Livvy asked, an uncomfortable look on her face as she shifted from foot to foot.

Did she think Muriel would be jealous because of Olivia’s gift? To be fair, at one time, she would have been. But Daniel’s death had taught her to treasure the important things in life—love and family. Nothing else mattered.

“You mean your gift of connecting heartmates?” Where was Olivia going with this?

Olivia nodded, but the uncomfortable expression sank deeper in her eyes.

“Yes. That. I can see heartmates. And here’s the thing Muriel.

Out by the utility vehicles, when you were talking to O’Neill, I saw the threads stretching between you two.

” She reached for Muriel’s fingers and squeezed. “You and O’Neill are spirit mates.”