Page 30 of Shadow Boxed (Shadow Warriors #2)

Chapter twenty-four

With her right elbow resting on the gleaming, platinum surface of the cafeteria table, and her left hand braced against the side of her head, Muriel huddled over her lunch.

She pushed the pasta salad around, her enthusiasm for the meal almost microscopic.

At some point between ordering and sitting down, her appetite had disappeared.

The cafeteria sat silent and empty around her. She’d deliberately picked a slow time to eat. Smack dab between breakfast and lunch, when the Shadow Mountain warriors were off training, and the base employees were fulfilling their shift duties.

That was the benefit of not having a schedule to follow, or a place to be.

She was free to go where she wanted, when she wanted, with who she wanted.

Too bad she wasn’t wanted in the clinic with Samuel, or on the obstacle course with Gracie.

Even Olivia—who was caught in her own misery—avoided her these days.

Back when she’d learned of Daniel’s death, she’d felt even more lost and alone. Abandoned, even. Her world had been ripped apart and Daniel’s missing piece made it impossible to fit back together again.

Her throat tightened beneath an upsurge of grief.

She dropped her fork, the last of her appetite crumbling.

She’d been alone back then too, after Daniel’s death.

Alone with her grief and rage. People had tried to help, but their voices and faces were a blur in her mind.

Nothing had penetrated the agonizing shriek of grief…

or the icy, internal blizzard that accompanied it.

She focused on a scratch in the table’s silver surface, traced it with her index finger.

Had Daniel sat here? Traced the same scratch while eating his breakfast, dinner, or lunch?

Was his spirit lingering in this space even now?

She could sense him, but only faintly, like the warmth of summer as Hokalita headed into fall.

She didn’t scan the room, didn’t seek him out.

Was she afraid she might see his spirit, or afraid she would not?

Perhaps it was time to head back home...

to return to a job—that was more like a calling.

Work at the animal refuge would occupy her hands and mind.

There were always intake requests to process, terrified animals to soothe, injured animals to care for.

Besides, it wasn’t fair to leave Joyce, her shelter assistant, with all the work, even though Muriel had hired a temporary worker before leaving for Alaska.

Yet, how could she leave without Gracie?

Her daughter was determined to stay now.

To remain close to her newly discovered father, and the possibility of answers.

The answers to her Ho'cee claiming were here, along with access to the warrior ways.

Everything her daughter wanted was here. Gracie would not leave.

And Muriel couldn’t leave without her.

The whoosh of the cafeteria doors opening sounded behind her. Muriel didn’t turn around. It was probably a Shadow Mountain warrior. There were still plenty around—even with Wolf and his elite warriors winging their way to an undisclosed location.

O’Neill was one of the warriors Wolf had tapped for this mission. It still stunned her to find the two men working together, their high school rivalry clearly in the past. Had Samuel turned that page as well? Had he accepted O’Neill as an equal? As a trusted member of his team?

Too bad she couldn’t ask him.

“Muriel?” a voice called from behind her.

The voice was familiar and unexpected. Wolf’s anistaa.

Rachel Eaglesbreath, Wolf’s anistaa, had often told her that she disliked Shadow Mountain base and the Alaskan chill. As far as Muriel knew, Rachel had only visited the base once, years ago—while her brother Jude was Betanee. She hadn’t returned, even though her son now led the warrior class.

Muriel shifted on the silver bench and looked over her shoulder.

Sure enough, Rachel was crossing the room in loose hipped strides, a gait that reminded Muriel of the way Wolf moved.

There were other similarities between mother and son too.

The thick, black luster of their hair, although Rachel’s was now streaked with gray.

The length of their arms and legs. Even the expression in their dark eyes—half watchful, half cautious.

“Rachel!” Muriel swung her legs over the bench and rose to her feet. “What are you doing here? I thought you hated the base.”

For the first time, she realized that Rachel wasn’t alone. Jillian, Wolf’s le'ven'a, drifted along behind her, her brown eyes empty, her face hollow.

Wolf’s mother’s smile was wry. “Hate is a strong emotion. Dislike would be more accurate.”

Dislike…hate…Muriel shrugged, watching as Jillian drew alongside Wolf’s mother. It surprised her to see Jillian standing there, although it shouldn’t have. Rachel and Wolf’s le'ven'a were inseparable. If Wolf’s anistaa was here, of course Jillian would come too.

“Wolf’s not here,” Muriel frowned as she studied Jillian’s eyes. Something had flickered in that vacant gaze. It lasted just long enough to notice before fading. But it had been there, burnishing the mahogany gaze to gold. “He is off on another mission to save the world.”

She could hear the bite of bitterness in her voice.

Her mind flashed to Daniel. To the last mission Wolf and his men had undertaken, the one where she lost her son and brother.

Shame touched her. She wasn’t the only woman to lose someone they loved to the warrior ways. Wolf’s mother had lost her brother. And Wolf, as the leader of the warriors on base, was constantly in danger of crossing the veil.

Avoiding Rachel’s reaction, she turned back to Jillian.

Like everyone on the Brenahiilo, she’d heard the story of Wolf’s le'ven'a. How she’d broken beneath the weight of a shattered heart. How her spirit hovered with one foot in the Tabenetha , searching for her lost anvaat.

Like everyone on the Brenahiilo , Muriel had sympathized with the drifting woohanna, but without feeling her pain.

Only now…after losing her own anvaa ...had that sympathy morphed into something stronger…

something closer to understanding. Grief was a hunting knife, driven into the heart over and over and over again.

And just when you thought you were over the worst of it, it swelled again and swallowed you whole.

This was an understanding she and Jillian shared.

And that was under the weight of just one loss…one anvaa . Not both Muriel’s anvaat , not her entire family. Jillian was stronger than anyone gave her credit for, to still have one foot solidly in the waking world after such a catastrophic loss.

“Is Gracie here with you?” Rachel asked, before she turned to Wolf’s shadow le'ven'a . “Jilly, get something to eat. Tell them to put it on Wolf’s tab. I’ll join you at the counter shortly.” She turned to Muriel and offered a tight smile.

“I know my son is not here. But he will return soon. I have no doubt of that.” A sympathetic expression touched her face.

“You left the Brenahiilo so soon after Daniel’s crossing ceremony, I had no chance to offer my condolences on his passing. ”

Muriel’s throat tightened and she looked away. She’d fled the reservation for exactly that reason, to avoid condolences, to avoid the pity in people’s eyes.

Rachel must have sensed the rising grief because she changed the subject. “How is Samuel? Wolf tells me he has awaken?”

“Yes. But his memories are gone. He does not recognize Olivia or me.”

Wolf’s mother nodded, then frowned. “My son has told me as much, but this was days ago. His memories have not returned?”

Muriel shook her head. “They have not.” She hesitated before admitting the truth in an aching voice. “He has changed in other ways as well. He’s become cold. Indifferent. He is not the brother of my youth.” Or her adulthood either.

“Wolf said the damage to his brain and body were extensive. Such injuries will change a person.”

“Yes…but…” Muriel’s voice trailed off.

Despite what she’d told Olivia, instinctively Muriel knew there was more to Samuel’s personality change than his injuries or waking from his coma.

She barely sensed him anymore. It was as if he’d pulled away, deliberately dousing his internal light.

His distance did not feel like an accidental thing, but a deliberate isolation.

“Is Gracie with him?” Rachel asked, with a quick glance toward her charge.

“No…” Muriel hesitated, then straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. It was foolish to hide her daughter’s wolf claiming. This knowledge would become widespread as her daughter continued with her conditioning and training.

“Gracie is off conquering the obstacle course. After which she will hit the gym.”

“She’s exercising? Deliberately?” Wolf’s mother’s eyes widened. “When did this happen?”

Muriel smiled wryly at the other woman’s reaction.

When the twins were toddlers, Muriel’s anistaa’aa had crossed to the land of her ancestors, and Muriel had inherited her estate.

The property came with a three-bedroom home and five acres of land.

The land had been a gift from the elder gods, as it allowed her to launch her dream of opening an animal refuge.

But the greatest gift had been Rachel, who owned the acreage next door.

Over the years, Rachel had become a second anistaa’aa to Muriel’s twins.

She knew Gracie’s nature as well as Muriel did.

“The interest in exercise is a new obsession…” Muriel offered, only to hesitate once more. “As is her interest in learning the warrior ways.”

“She wants to learn the warrior ways?” Rachel’s eyebrows lifted. “Why?”

Muriel hesitated, then forced the secret out. “Gracie was chosen by a woodlands clan—the Ho'cee. She believes she is warrior bound, ” Muriel admitted, and braced for disbelief.”

“She was chosen by a predator? Are you certain?” Rachel’s voice rose and her mouth hung open, but she sounded and looked more surprised than disbelieving.

“Yes. We’re certain.” Muriel’s voice tightened. Oh, how she wished she could claim otherwise. “She bares the claiming bite of the Ho'cee.”

“Only the strongest of the woodland spirit animals claim their chosen with a bite,” Wolf’s mother murmured. “And they are always warrior spirit animals. The Wolf. The lion. The bear.”

Muriel was aware of this. Dread filled her. The thought of her daughter following in Daniel’s footsteps drilled into her heart and filled it with dread.

“You believe me?”

“You are not one to lie. Besides...” Rachel turned, her gaze landing on Jillian. “Your daughter is not the only female recently gifted with a warrior’s spirit.”

It took a second for the comment to register. Muriel followed Rachel’s eyes over to Jillan and her jaw dropped. “Jillian? Wolf’s shadow le'ven'a? She was chosen by the Ho'cee too?”

“No. By the heschrmal.”

By the lion. Like O’Neill. Yet still, the claiming made even less sense than Gracie’s did. “But…but…she’s a woohanna.”

“Her lineage does not appear to matter,” Rachel replied with a furrowed forehead. “She carries the heschrmal’s teeth and claws to prove this.”

Muriel digested that. “Two women claimed by warrior spirits. What does this mean?”

Wolf’s anistaa sighed. “This, I do not know. Wolf spoke to Benioko, before his crossing, about Jillian’s claiming.

The Taounaha did not know why she had been claimed or what expectations accompanied it.

Wolf said The Old One crossed into the Tabenetha before he could seek answers from the elder gods.

” She grimaced, her face tightening. “And with the Hee'woo'nee’s lack of a mouthpiece…” She sighed.

“We will have to sit with our questions.”

“Perhaps Wolf can convince his javaanee to fulfil his duty to the Hee'woo'nee. And he will answer our questions,” Muriel murmured.

“How could Ho'cee’s javaanee possibly answer our questions?” Rachel asked, her lips twisting. “He knows nothing of the Hee'woo'nee or the elder gods.”

Muriel hesitated. “Did Wolf not tell you? The Shadow warrior chose Aiden as his new Taounaha , but Aiden fights the calling.”

Rachel sat frozen, her mouth tight. “Of course, he does.”

Did Wolf’s anestoo ’s betrayal still pain her? John Winchester had turned his back on the Hee'woo'nee , along with his Kalikoia spirit mate, over three decades ago. True, Rachel had never claimed Winchester as her spirit mate, but she’d never found happiness with another man either.

Had she ever met Kait and Aiden, Winchester’s anvaat by his chosen female?

Was that why she avoided the base? So she didn’t have to face Winchester’s betrayal?

Probably not. Wolf had been part of Shadow Mountain for twenty years, long before Kait had joined the base. Yet Rachel still hadn’t visited.

“ Ho'cee will find a way to speak with the elder gods and answer our questions.” Rachel’s voice was certain. She glanced toward the cashier, where Jillian had set down a tray of food. “But enough about spirit claimings—how are you?”

Muriel opened her mouth, her habitual answer of ‘I’m good’ or ‘I’m fine’ ready to fly. At least until Rachel reached out and squeezed Muriel’s arm.

“You are not fine.” She squeezed Muriel’s arm again. “I can feel your grief and...confusion. Your pain over Daniel’s crossing is strong, but natural, and to be expected. But this other turmoil within you…this comes from another source. Sharing it will ease its burden.”

The comment and touch caught Muriel off guard. Wolf’s anistaa rarely used her gift of feeling the emotions of others unless directly invited. Her gift was too invasive to force on those unwilling. For her to do so now, with Muriel, meant her worry sank deep.

With an instinctive tug of her arm, Muriel broke contact, only to hesitate. Something had ruptured between her and Gracie, something that was driving them apart. Yet she didn’t know what or why, or how to fix it.

Could Rachel’s gift pinpoint the rupture? Could she help heal it?

The Blue Moon Mother had blessed Rachel with the ability to sense a person’s emotions, along with the ability to feel her way into the hurting heart. She could find the source of pain and soothe it.

What if she used her talent on Gracie? What if she could identify this chasm between Muriel and her daughter and pinpoint its cause? Muriel knew she couldn’t bridge the distanc, until she discovered what had caused it. Perhaps Rachel could help with that.

Assuming Gracie would let her try.