Page 26 of Shadow Boxed (Shadow Warriors #2)

Chapter twenty-one

O’Neill watched emotions spin across her face. The wide eyes and gaping mouth of shock, followed by the narrow gaze and compressed lips of anger.

“That’s absurd.” A withering look descended on her face.

Anger radiated from her. Not just her face and burning eyes, but her stiff shoulders and clenched hands.

Her reaction unbalanced him. He’d expected shame, an apology, not outrage.

“And fuck you, too.” She bit the words out, her hands fisting at her side. “You were the only male I was thinking about. The only one I wanted.”

“You’re forgetting, I saw into your mind. I saw him in there.” O’Neill’s jaw hardened, his skin tightening beneath a surge of fresh anger. Why was he so worked up over a damn memory? This was an old wound, one he’d all but forgotten. “I saw who you were thinking about. It wasn’t me.”

“Then you misunderstood what you saw.” She snapped back. “You were the one I wanted. Not Wolf. Just you.”

She sounded so certain. He frowned, staring into her searing eyes, and found honesty. No doubt. Only certainty and honesty. A wave of confusion rolled through him. His gift had been newly fledged back then; could he have misunderstood seeing Wolf’s presence in her mind?

He unconsciously shook his head and took a step back. To see another male, in her mind, as his body moved over hers, could only mean one thing—yes? Anger spiked again, burning away the confusion.

He doubled down on the accusation, his voice hardening. “The mind doesn’t lie. I saw Wolf in your mind as I was screwing you. He was the one you were thinking of.”

But then, Wolf’s words of mere days ago echoed through his mind.

Muriel does not lie.

He’d even agreed with that assessment. The thought punctured the anger, allowing his certainty to leak away. Had he misunderstood? But why else would her old crush have occupied her mind?

“Did I say I wanted Wolf? Did I call his name?” Her eyes were icy, bristling with insulted fury.

“No. I only hear words if the memory centers around a conversation.” His admission came slow and reluctant.

“In other words, you never heard me say I wanted to be with Wolf?” Derision sharpened each word.

“I can’t believe you bailed on me because you thought I wanted someone else.

” She hesitated, and then continued more slowly, more softly.

“I proved how much I wanted you that night. Proved it with my body and my soul. How could you not have seen that? How could you have doubted that?”

“Wolf was in your mind. I saw him.” But his protest felt weaker, less certain.

She stepped away from him, her arms wrapping around her abdomen.

“Well Wolf wasn’t in my mind because I wanted to screw him.

I was over my Wolf crush by the time you and I hooked up.

” She shook her head and frowned. “If you did see him in my mind, like you claim, maybe it’s because I was thinking about how grateful I was to him. ”

O’Neill scoffed. “Grateful? Who’s talking absurdity now?”

Instead of reacting to his sarcasm, her frown deepened. Her gaze glazed over, turning inward. She hesitated, her eyes flickering toward him. For a moment, shame touched her face. But then she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin.

“Yes. Grateful. It’s no secret I had an enormous crush on Wolf for most of high school.

You know that. You used to mock me because of it.

But what you don’t know is that six months before we started dating, I tried to seduce him.

I climbed through the window into his bedroom, got myself naked and threw myself at him.

He turned me down, wrapped me in his blanket, and said I would regret giving him my first time.

And you know what? He was right. I would have regretted it.

So yes, I was grateful to him for turning my adolescent advances down, which gave me the chance to experience my first time with you. ”

“I don’t believe you.” He couldn’t believe it because that would change everything. That would mean he was at fault. That he’d betrayed her. That he’d been a cowardly eseneee who’d run away instead of confronting her with what he’d seen.

But then, she hadn’t believed him about his heschrmal claiming. She wouldn’t have believed him about his spirit gift either.

“It’s the truth.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “And I can prove it. Look into my mind right now. I’ll think back to that moment, and you can experience the memory with me.”

The offer froze O’Neill’s feet to the floor.

The chill climbed up his legs and into his gut.

Was she serious? Having someone look into your mind and expose all your secrets was not a comfortable experience.

Besides, that wasn’t why he’d brought her here.

Hell—he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know the truth.

“I didn’t bring you here to eavesdrop on your memories.” He thrust his fingers through his hair. “What happened is ancient history and not important.”

Muriel’s laugh was devoid of humor. “Gracie might disagree with that assessment, as it’s the reason you vanished, cutting off all contact with her.”

O’Neill flinched at the comment, then ignored it and headed into the kitchen. The coffee pot looked dusty from lack of use, so he rinsed it out. “It must have been difficult raising twins so young. For what it’s worth, I regret not being there for you.”

Muriel shrugged, her face distant and eyes cold. “I had plenty of help. My parents and grandparents stepped up. So did Wolf’s. They say it takes a village to raise a child. In this case, half the Brenahiilo reached out.”

O’Neill grimaced. Nobody had stepped up to ease his childhood.

But then, he’d been white skinned and brown haired, with a mother who’d been known as the Brenahiilo whore.

Nor had it helped that his grandparents had been malevolent and sharp-tongued, and ran people off more often than not.

Until him, no one in his family had been honored by a spirit animal.

His family had always been the Brenahiilo’s trailer trash.

Muriel’s family, on the other hand, was reservation royalty, honored by the elder gods with generations of spirit claimings.

Social status was alive and well among the Hee'woo'nee. Muriel had benefited from it. O’Neill had not.

He shoved that old frustration aside as he filled the coffee pot with water and grounds. At least preparing the coffee gave his hands something to do and took his mind off her unexpected offer.

“Will you tell me about Daniel?” He glanced over to where she still stood in the middle of his living room.

“What do you want to know?” Some of the ice melted from her expression. She studied him closely and asked. “Did you spend any time with him while you were both at base?”

“No.” He watched the pot gurgle and sputter. “Wolf and Samuel had their own...clique. Daniel was part of that. I was not.”

Silence fell over the room. And the cold enveloping her thawed. “Like back in high school.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah…like that.” O’Neill stared at the brewing coffee, like it held the secrets of the Wanatesa weapon. “I knew him enough to recognize him, but that was it.”

Although, it had been worse than that. Daniel had followed Samuel’s and Wolf’s lead, as had the rest of the Shadow Mountain’s warriors, and treated him as though he were invisible.

Jie'van.

Her face softened, her eyes filling with sorrow. “He was the happiest of anvaat . Bright. Confident. A bit full of himself. He made friends easily. Was every teacher’s pet.”

O’Neill smiled absently. She could have been describing herself as an anvaa . In this case, the apple had fallen right next to the tree.

“He idolized Samuel and Wolf,” she continued softly. “Wanted to be just like them.”

“The warrior clan,” O’Neill murmured. Both men had been slated for the warrior ways for as long as O’Neill could remember.

“Yeah.” The word was expelled on an aching breath. “I don’t remember a time when Daniel didn’t want to join them in the warrior ways. That’s all he talked about.”

“Wolf said he was a natural warrior. Both skilled and fearless,” O’Neill said.

She looked surprised. Had she not expected him to ask Wolf about the youngling?

But she simply nodded, grief heavy on her face. “Samuel told me this as well.”

“Did you want him to join Shadow Mountain?”

“Goddess no !” Her face tightened, the pain vibrating in her voice. “Death stalks the warrior ways. I didn’t want that for him.” She fell silent, before adding with strangled emphasis. “Or for Gracie.”

He changed the subject before sorrow could break her. “What was Gracie like?”

Her laugh was hollow. “The exact opposite of Daniel in every way. He was the sun...she was the moon. Quiet. Solitary. She avoided people instead of seeking them out. She aced every subject in school, but…” She shook her head.

“The teachers seemed to forget she existed. She didn’t have any friends.

Not one. She hid herself instead. You’d think she’d be lonely but… ”

“But?”

“She enjoyed being alone.”

O’Neill thought about that. It had been obvious in the short amount of time he’d spent with the pair that friction seethed below the surface, at least on Gracie’s end. “There seems to be tension between you and Gracie. Has that always been there?”

“You picked that up, huh?”

“It’s pretty obvious,” O’Neill offered carefully.

“Yeah?” Her sigh trembled through her. “To answer your question…no, that…tension you spoke of is a recent thing. There’s always been a distance between us.

But it wasn’t filled with anger or resentment, just..

.disinterest. But then. the only person Gracie ever wanted to spend time with was her twin.

” Her gaze skated toward O’Neill and away again. “And now you.”

“When did the tension appear?”

Her face twisted, grief hollowing her cheeks. “After Daniel died.” A long pause with shaky breathing followed. “I think…I think…she blames me for Daniel’s death.”

“She’s grieving,” he finally offered.

Nothing he said would ease her pain. It was a shame Muriel and Gracie’s shared love for Daniel and their grief over his death hadn’t pulled them together instead of ripping them apart.

“Will you have a problem if I teach Gracie how to fight?” It had sure seemed like it when Gracie asked him earlier.

“Probably.” She offered a hollow smile. “But I’ll keep myself in check. Gracie wants this. And our daughter is nothing if not determined.”

Our daughter…

Those two words first warmed and then chilled him.