Page 2 of Serena (Shattered Queens #1)

Finally, he found the spot that makes me release all the tension I’ve been holding on to—the release I've been chasing for the last couple of minutes. It took him a while, just like the other times. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself and asking him to come over.

Wait, actually, I do know. He’s always available when I need him, and if he isn’t, he makes sure to change any plans he has for me.

Not that I do the same. I’m coming down from my climax as he finishes with a loud groan, and that's that.

His body pins me to the mattress, but I take a couple of breaths and push him off so I can go get cleaned up.

As I'm making my way off the bed, he reaches for me and tries to wrap his arm around my waist. I see it coming and quickly jump off the mattress. I’m not one to cuddle.

We both got what we wanted; now it's time for him to go. Derek turns to face me.

“So, I have to tell you something.” I look at him, waiting for him to tell me whatever he has to say.

“I was promoted today; I didn’t even have to interview for it. The position was available, and I was asked if I was interested. But it’s on the East Coast.”

“Oh,” I say, irritated, mostly because he was just given a promotion. That must be nice.

“I accepted it and need to be there in two weeks.”

“Congratulations,” is all I say. Does he want me to ask him to stay? I won’t. Does he want me to say that I’ll miss him? I won’t.

I’ve known Derek for almost a year; we met through mutual friends, who kept trying to set us up. I only decided to go on the actual date because my best friends kept pushing me, their reason being, “We are giving you the push you aren’t giving yourself.” I was annoyed, but I know they meant well.

So we met for dinner. The conversation wasn’t mind-blowing, but it gave me something to do for the evening.

I knew going into the date that I didn’t want much out of the night.

I never do. It’s easier that way. But I do have needs.

After dinner, he asked if I wanted to go to a bar for drinks.

I suggested coming back to my place instead.

One thing led to another, and soon enough, I was riding his dick on my couch.

It was better than using a dating app, which has been failing me with matches lately.

I’m not looking for a relationship. I just need to blow off some steam, but I still want something pretty to look at.

There are times when I still have to remind Derek that there is no “us.” We’re not exclusive, but he’s the only one I’m fucking.

He knows the drill. When we, mostly I, need to scratch the itch or help work out some of the stress and tension, we text, casually meet up, head to my place, and have our fun.

We always come back to my apartment—it’s my safe space—and I decide what happens, when it happens, and when it’s time for him to go.

I tell him that I’m happy for him and stroke his ego, for old times’ sake.

He just sits there, upset perhaps. I’m not going to read into it.

I go into my bathroom. I turn on the shower and wait.

A few minutes pass before I hear him finally leave.

Slipping into my robe, I head to the front door and turn the deadbolt lock.

Then I head back to shower and get ready for bed.

I need to get some sleep; I have plans to meet with my best friends.

Derek coming over was a last-minute decision, but not a total disappointment. I was in the mood to celebrate.

I love sex, but what I love more is having control, especially over the men I fuck. And why the hell not? Men are praised for fucking around. When a woman does it, she’s called easy and a slut. Screw society and its double standards.

There have been times when I wish I could give up control.

Damn, there are times I crave it, just to get out of my own head.

The disappointment has been monumental, so I just have no choice but to take care of myself sometimes.

Also, giving up control would mean I’d have to trust someone to get close to me, and that is something I just don’t do.

“So, how was last night?” Yuri asks with a perfect smile on her face.

She’s been my best friend since high school.

Her hazel eyes meet mine. I called her last night and asked if she wanted to go out, but she was about to have a date night with her fiancé, Xander.

They don’t get to spend a lot of time together.

Xander is so busy with teaching, pursuing his PhD, and she’s busy running her dance studio.

So I texted Derek, knowing he would change his plans for me.

Thinking back to last night, I should have just taken care of myself.

I have a vibrator. It’s more dependable and doesn’t try to cuddle with me after; just the thought of arms holding me down drives me into a panic. I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Theo.

“You didn’t call and invite me,” Theo says in a sarcastic tone.

"You wouldn’t have come anyway; you are so domesticated.

” He laughs in agreement. “Plus, you are too attractive and would take all the attention away from me," I say with a laugh because it’s true. Theo is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. Shit, if he were straight and single, I’d fuck him, but he isn’t either of those things.

Theodor, or Theo as we prefer to call him, is Yuri’s brother-in-law and my other best friend. He is married to Elias, Yuri's older and overbearing brother. When Elias introduced us, we hit it off immediately. It also helped that he’s an amazing chef. We always joke that his food won everyone over.

I know my friends see me as cold when it comes to dating.

Their attempts to set me up on blind dates have mostly failed.

I say mostly because the last guy Yuri set me up with was a dance instructor from her studio.

By the end of the night, he had me bent over the hood of his car.

He was a good fuck, but just that. It was awkward for Yuri, who had to see him at work.

I couldn't care less if I ever saw him again.

I was a romantic, but that was a long time ago. Hell, I was stupid enough to think I’d found the love of my life. My feelings aside on the subject, I’m happy my friends have found their people.

“It was fine. I met up with Derek, went back to my place, and the rest…well, want details?” I ask.

“No thanks,” they say in unison. I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes.

“It wasn’t that memorable. The whole arrangement between Derek and me is over. He’s moving in a couple of weeks for a job promotion, and it wasn’t going anywhere. I think he wanted me to ask him to stay, but that isn’t going to happen.”

I’d much rather keep things casual, and if that makes me promiscuous, so be it.

I don’t owe Derek or anyone any explanation.

Especially when it comes to who I fuck. I admit, some of my choices haven’t been the best, but it’s not like I’m going to be in a relationship with them or marry them. The thought alone makes me shudder.

“Does he know that?” Yuri asks.

“Yes, I reminded him every time he asked me to go on a trip together or meet his family. Plus, I don’t do relationships.”

“Oh, we know,” Theo fires back.

I have to focus on work. Just then, the waiter arrives with a celebratory bottle of champagne. He opens it and leaves it on the table.

“How was date night with Xander?” I ask, trying to change the conversation, since my lack of relationships always seems to be a topic of discussion.

“It was fine. We ended up arguing about wedding invitations; it seems that we argue about everything wedding-related,” she says.

Yuri and Xander have been engaged for a couple of months and have set a wedding date for next summer.

“Maybe it’s the stress of everything going on, you know, with school, his teaching, the wedding,” she tells us, but I can see she’s trying to convince herself.

I hate that she always makes excuses for him, but all I can do is be here for her in whatever way she needs me.

She gives Theo and me one of her bright smiles, dismissing her frustrations.

Theo grabs the champagne bottle and begins to pour our flutes, changing the conversation. “Let’s raise our glasses. Congratulations, Serena, you are now Vice President of Finance for Kayde Investments,” he says. I smile and toast to that.