Page 45

Haden

A vesh was staring at me wide-eyed as Ezra, Thea, and Cassius all flanked my sides.

He was gaping at me after I told him about Della.

Then his eyes landed on the ring on my finger.

Avesh’s eyes began darting around as if he were having an out-of-body experience.

He stood up and looked me dead in the eyes wearing the expression of a lunatic.

“For fuck’s sake!” he exclaimed.

I looked at Thea and Cassius, hoping they understood why he had suddenly lost his damn mind. He was smiling, walking back and forth, muttering to himself. After a moment, he stopped and looked at me with a crazy grin on his face.

“She said you would come.” Avesh looked at me oddly.

“Who said that?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Ardella.”

I stiffened a little bit at this but watched calmly when he began wandering around the room looking at the shelves.

“She came to see you last night after I had already decided to visit?”

He turned to me with an odd expression. “No, do you not remember?” Avesh turned to me completely, his eyes tracing over me slowly. “You saw her that day, remember.”

“Avesh, you better start making some fucking sense in the next two seconds before I lose my fucking shit,” I warned him.

“It’s like the memory had a shield around it until this very second.

” Avesh looked at us. “Ardella came to see me, 300-ish years ago. She wanted to hide something here. A book, very small, very old. When I asked her what it was, she told me that I could not read it; the text will only appear for the one it is intended for. She said you would come when you needed it, and I should give it only to you.” He looked at Thea and Cassius, then Ezra.

“Stars above, she said the three of you would be here too. She is exceptionally gifted in magic.”

“Where the fuck is the book, Avesh?” Ezra demanded. I looked at him with my brows raised. He raised his hands apologetically. “Sorry, I lost my cool. But shut up and give us the damn thing.”

Cassius’ body shook with silent laughter.

“Okay, rude.” Avesh glared. “I don’t remember exactly where it is.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ezra groaned as he turned away from Avesh. He rubbed his hands over his face and then turned back to him and pointed. “You'd better start remembering, or I’ll…,” he looked around, “rip apart your books.”

Avesh stumbled back like he had been slapped. His mouth fell open. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, dare I would.” Ezra glared at him.

Thea and Cassius were laughing out loud at this point. I shook my head and looked at Avesh, covering the grin on my face with my hand.

“300-ish years ago is when she came? Did she say anything else?”

Avesh seemed to be thinking as he walked around. He looked at the fireplace and frowned.

“The fire upset her, so I had to put it out.” He looked at me.

“She kept her back to the fireplace the entire visit.

She told me a god would come, blonde hair, stormy eyes, and that it was important that he get this book.

Della made it seem like maybe someone else might want it, but she never said it outright.

I do remember that it was so old I thought it might break if I touched it.

“She said it would help you understand why she became a star on purpose. Which I didn’t understand at first, but now I do. Every curse has a key; that is what she said.”

“She’s cursed?”

“Well, I don’t fucking know; that is what she said.” Avesh threw his hands up in the air like he couldn’t believe that we thought he would know something.

“You are the God of Knowledge; shouldn’t you remember where you put a damn book?” Ezra stepped forward.

Avesh nodded. “Yes, that’s why I think it's odd that I can’t remember where I put it.” He turned back to the shelves and stared at them.

“You asked me if I remembered coming with Della that day, but I don’t remember ever being here with her.”

Avesh turned to me and frowned. “It was you, and I didn’t say you came with her. I said you saw her.

I glanced around, but nothing about this specific room felt familiar. My mind was racing through the memories, but nothing surfaced.

“You have to be mistaken,” I said.

Avesh smiled and looked me in the eyes. “I am not mistaken. You were asking about the God of Fate; do you not remember that either?”

What the fuck was this man talking about?

“I’m starting to think the God of Fate is a delusion.” Thea cocked her head to the side. “That would be a god with a ridiculous amount of power.”

Avesh nodded. “You found out something that day when I let you rummage through my library, but you didn’t tell me.

Della walked in and saw you; she seemed concerned and tried to hide from you, but then you saw her.

She followed you outside, and a few minutes later she came in by herself with that damn book. ”

Cassius looked at me oddly. “I can tell by your face that you don’t remember that,” he said.

“I don’t.” I looked around the room again, hoping something would stand out. “300 years ago had to be close to when I died.”

“It was the day before.” Avesh looked at me. “I know that because Della came and woke me up the night you died. She was looking for the Book of the Dead . She woke me up at an ungodly hour to find it, but it was missing.”

I didn’t know she did that.

“Isn’t that the book your siblings were using?” Thea whispered.

“No, that was the Book of Dark Magic . The Book of the Dead is what she used to bring Remiah back.”

“What was she going to do with the book?” I asked.

“She refused to tell me, but she was asking if she could bring someone back from the dead, just as they were. I told her no, that it had never been done before. She became irate and lost her fucking mind at me. Della thought I was lying to her. I wasn’t.

No one comes back from the dead exactly like they were. ”

“But I did.” I looked at Avesh and felt my heart racing.

“What?” he asked.

“I came back exactly as I was. Every scar, every single thing about me, was identical.”

“Well, you’re a god,” Ezra chimed in.

Avesh sighed heavily.

“It doesn’t work like that. Dead gods become stars, or they choose to be reborn, and they do not come back the exact same.”

“Well, I didn’t become a star, and I was reborn exactly the same.” I hesitated. “Did you say that gods get a choice to be reborn? Do they vote on it?”

“No, they don’t vote on it. That is stupid.” He looked at me oddly. Avesh glanced around for a moment. He held up his finger to shush me before he muttered that he would be back. I began pacing around the room trying to figure out anything about this mess that made sense.

“Am I the only one who has no fucking clue what is happening?” Ezra asked.

“No, none of us know what is happening.” Cassius sighed.

We waited for Avesh for a few minutes before he came back holding a giant golden book.

He set it on the table and started flipping through it.

He seemed very confident in what he was searching for, so we waited quietly.

Avesh looked up at me after a moment and then continued to look through the book.

After a minute he said, “Aha!” and stared up at me before turning the book so we could read it.

My eyes scanned the short list of names quickly. I recognized only two: Malamay and Diath.

“My parents are on a list?” I looked up at him, confused.

“You looked at this book when you were trying to find the God of Fate, and there was something in here that you thought was interesting. You left the book open when you left. But do you know what this list is?”

“No.”

“It is a list of all the dead gods. Do you see this symbol?” He pointed next to the names of my parents. My eyes scanned the falling star. “It means they went on to become stars,” he smiled. “There are only sixteen dead gods on the list, and nine went on to be stars.”

I looked at the names again.

“How does the list get updated?”

Avesh smiled and nodded.

“This is the Book of the Gods ; it updates information on its own.”

“Haden’s name isn’t on the list, but his siblings are,” Cassius muttered. “Wouldn’t it still be on the list even if he was reborn?”

“Yes, that is unless he never died.”

“I definitely died.” I looked at him in confusion. “I was gone for 300 years.”

“You remember things from your first life and this life; even a god couldn’t do that. You must not have died fully. But honestly, that isn’t the only thing on this list that is odd.”

Avesh pointed to Ardella’s name toward the top of the list.

“Do you see how her name is not at the bottom with your siblings?”

I nodded.

“It should be. The list adds names in the order in which they die. Della’s name should be on the bottom, but according to this, she died before you did.”

I was trying to wrap my mind around everything he was saying, but I had no fucking clue what any of it meant. I stared at her name and didn’t understand why it appeared so far up on the list.

“She told me my father killed her by accident,” I said. But even as I looked at the list, that didn’t make sense. Della’s name was second on the list. She died a very long time ago.

“Haden, even I don’t know how old this book is, and she is at the top of the list for deaths. However, the book records the first death, not all of them. Della has been around for a very long time,” Avesh said knowingly.

“It’s a mistake.”

“This book does not make mistakes.” He frowned. “Ardella died long before you supposedly did. But that is not the only odd thing about this. I have met Della a few times over the centuries, and she has never changed either. She's exactly the same as she's always been.”

Cassius wrapped his arm around me when I began breathing heavily. I was about to pass the fuck out.

“It’s alright, focus on me.” Cassius’ face took over my vision. “Breathe in through the nose and exhale out the mouth.”

“I’m dying.” I gripped my chest as pain and confusion swarmed through me. “I don’t understand.”