Page 10

I stopped rubbing my hand against my chest and looked at him.

“It is?”

“Yes. We can feel each other’s emotions through it.” Cassius pointed to Thea, and I frowned.

“So, this feeling right now is Della? I feel like I am dying.”

Cassius frowned but nodded.

“I’m never going to make this right.” I started pacing again. “The void was so fucking pissed off at me. You should have seen her eyes. It was like I ripped her soul from her, and she was not in her own body anymore.”

“We will figure it out,” Thea said confidently. “She loves you, and you will make this right.”

I could feel the void pushing and pushing, demanding to be let out.

I tried to shove back against him, to keep him from taking over, but he refused.

Fuck, I closed my eyes as he clawed through my body painfully.

He seeped into me and refused to be gentle about it.

The familiar shiver ran up my spine before I opened my eyes.

Thea and Cassius were both staring at me.

“For fuck’s sake,” Cassius muttered. “The void.”

Thea’s eyes widened when my black eyes met hers. I saw her shrink away as if I would harm her.

“Storm may love me, but you did not see her. I have never seen her like that. This is bad.” I was so pissed off. I should have fought harder to stay, but he had been so persistent. “Fuck, I need to go see Brim.”

Thea perked up at the name.“You know Brim?”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

“Yes, very well.”

“Will you tell us how when you come back?” Cassius stared at me like I wasn’t the man he had become best friends with.

“I will tell you all about Brim, and I will tell you about my first life with Della when I come back.”

“First life?” Thea said, confused.

I nodded.

“It’s a long story, but I’ll tell you about it.” I gave them a small smile before I watched their mouths fall open when I used my star mist.

?★★★?★★★?

Brim’s friendly face disappeared as soon as he saw me. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Get out,” he demanded. “I'm still upset with you.”

“It’s been nine years, Brim; I think you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

His glare narrowed as I walked forward and sat in his extra chair. There was something comforting about this home. Brim had always been comforting to me.

“You wiped Della’s memories of you.”

I nodded because there was no reason to deny what he already knew.

“How did you know?” I asked as he paced in front of me.

“She never came back to discuss what you are.”

“It needed to be done.”

Brim was watching me with a sassy fucking look. I watched him back as he stared at me like he was studying an experiment.

“So, did you find out what I am?” I smiled.

“What do you want, Haden?”

“I deviated from my original plan and wanted to know if you could see Della’s new future. I also want to know how I can merge both of my personalities together, if you know.”

He raised his eyebrows, clearly not believing me. After a moment, he sat in his chair and began rocking.

“I don’t know how to merge both sides of yourself together, but I’m assuming one side will win out over the other at some point.” Brim looked at me and frowned. “Why are you lying to me about changing plans with Della?”

I looked back at him, confused.

“I’m not.”

Brim sighed heavily and looked at the fire again.

“Her fate has not changed. I still cannot see her in the future either. Whatever was going to happen must not have been your decision.”

I stopped rocking and stared at the fire, confused. I couldn’t see her future either, but I truly thought it was because she was still blocking me. Was this because of what I said to her? No, this was what her future had been since before I did anything.

“How am I supposed to save her if I don’t know what is going to happen?” I asked.

“Maybe you should never have started this to begin with,” he said snarkily. I knew he was right, but I was not about to admit that. There was no way that I could have known how important Della would be to me.

“Maybe your siblings are up to something without telling you.” Brim stared at me directly in the eyes, letting me know that he had indeed discovered who I was.

I sighed heavily and leaned back in my chair.

“How did you figure it out?”

“Little things at first.” Brim began rocking, the creaking of the chair the only noise besides the fire popping.

“You use star mist, but it is black, and I think you thought I would assume it was shadows, but there is a clear difference. The hell’s flowers were your biggest downfall.

I had to go to Avesh to ask him, and he went into the whole story behind them.

Malamay promised Diath when he took her soul that he would bring something beautiful to Hell so their children could still appreciate beauty.

Your father created them for Hell, and now they are here. ”

“I told my sister, Elra, it was stupid, and someone would figure it out,” I said with a sigh.

“But then Avesh brought out their book and story. I flipped through the book, and in the back was a picture of each of you. Haden Vale, God of Wrath, and the last of the seven sins to be born. It is rumored that your father and mother agreed that you would be born from his star, but somehow you were born from both, with a good side and a bad side.”

“I see you did your homework, Brim.”

“You manipulated Della before you learned of the curse, though, and that part I do not understand. You met her before, 500 years ago, wasn’t it? Why mess with fate?”

I smiled when I thought of that first day I met her.

“Because I knew she was meant to be mine, and I didn’t care about fate.

The stars could not even deny how perfect we are together.

Besides, we had a mate bond floating between us when I met her, but it was dead.

I didn’t manipulate that, but don’t get me wrong, I would have.

I would have done anything to get to keep her. ”

Brim looked at me oddly.

“We had a mating bond when I met her. It was transparent, barely there, but I could see it. She didn’t see it, though.

I only manipulated her into feeling as though she remembered me when we ran into each other again, just in case the stars fucked with her, which they did.

When I was reborn, the mating bond should have been there, but the stars purposely gave it to Holden to piss me off, and they succeeded.

But they failed to take her own free will for loving me away. ”

“I don’t understand,” Brim said.

“Gods can’t be mated to each other because of what happened to my parents.

But fate had other plans for me and Della.

We were mated, but it was a sin in the eyes of the stars; that is why only I could see it.

It was a sin, and she couldn’t see it because she is a heavenly god.

They forced a bond with my twin fae brother, but it didn’t work.

“That is why she never felt anything for him, and she was immediately drawn to me instead. They tried to take the mating bond, but I think it was still there, just broken or invisible. The stars are not so fucking wonderful as they pretend to be. Just like with my mother, Diath. They knew she was born from a dead star but pretended like they had no idea when she started producing children with it.”

“Why would the stars do such things?” Brim frowned, but I could see he believed me.

“Because the stars didn’t think anyone would ever find out. But I will admit that they were probably right to lock my siblings up in Hell because they are out for blood, and that is the blood of the heavenly gods.”

“They don’t know that you are mated to one,” he guessed.

“No, and I won’t tell them. They would kill her or use her against me.

But at some point, I will have to face them, and I don’t know what that will mean.

Della made it so that I could not die when she forced a piece of her soul into me; maybe I could if she took it back from me, but she won’t do that.

She loves me so much that I know she would fall from the grace of the stars to set me free if I asked her to.

“But she changed my fate when she killed Remiah. Not only did Della give me half of her soul that night, Brim, but she took half of mine for herself as well. I cannot be sent back to Hell if I can’t die. My curse is broken, but my siblings do not know that.”

Brim was watching me like he had never truly seen me until this very moment.

“Your siblings are taking the gods and their mates?” Brim asked.

“Yes, but I do not know why. They did not tell me, and I have no idea what the hell they are doing, but I will figure it out.”

Brim turned away from me. "Why the change of heart?"

“I cannot do it, Brim. I thought that in nine years my heart would harden and I would fall out of love with her so she would fall from the grace of the stars, but it didn’t.

Not even close. I had my doubts before the fire but I had a vision—I saw what Della would do.

She would change our fate and I didn’t hesitate to sacrifice anything for that.

Because deep down I know that is what I care about—her, only her, and there is no fucking way in hell that I will let her fall.

The heavens and hells know that she is the only thing that matters.

But if her future didn’t change, then it was never me that caused it, so what is controlling this? "

“Maybe it is Della herself that is causing it,” he suggested.

“There is no way she would be unless she knew who I was, and she doesn’t,” I was confident in that.

“You’re right. She would never fall from grace, even for you. Della is a favorite god for a reason.” Brim looked at me, studying. He gave me a small smirk. “I knew you wouldn’t follow through.”

“What?” I asked.

“I had a vision while you were hiding. I saw this conversation. You made this decision before the fire, but this is the first time you let yourself stick to it. Is it because you feel like you have a duty to your siblings?”

“No.” I closed my eyes tightly. “I hate my siblings.

They can all stay in Hell for all I care.

There is a large part of me that wants to avenge what the heavens, stars, and old gods did to my parents—more like what they did to my father.

He lost everything because of my mother.

I lost everything because of their punishment. "

"Do you think Della will forgive you for not telling her the truth?" he asked.

"If she demanded it, I would spend every moment of the rest of my days worshipping the ground she walks on, just to show her that my love is limitless, reckless, eternal.

These past few years revealed the truth: I never clawed my way out of Hell for revenge—I did it to find her.

Della is not just my purpose. She is my absolution.

My undoing. My only salvation. And now, I have to fix what I broke, not just to save her, but to prove that even a man born of damnation can be worthy of a love like hers. "

He nodded like he understood that. Brim stared at the fire for a long moment, smirking to himself.

“I think Della will forgive you for lying.”

I shook my head. “There is no way she would. I lied to her. I kept my identity a secret and I wanted to use her to break the curse. Besides, I have been nothing but an asshole for nine years.” I wished she could forgive me, but I couldn’t convince myself of that delusion.

“We will see.” He smiled softly.

“Did you have a vision of it?”

He nodded and relief filled me. "I am willing to work for her trust again, even if that takes a thousand years. She is all I want. I do not want her to hate me. I do not want to ever see her look at me like I destroyed her again. There is nothing I won’t do for her.

I am completely in love with her. She has owned me since the first time she looked at me. ”

“She knows you love her.”

Not after what the nice side of me said to her. My mind wandered to why Della’s future was still hidden from us. What was going to make her fall from grace?

“So you love Della enough to get over your vengeance on the heavens and old gods?” He asked after a long pause.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Brim smiled at me. “Your future has never changed in my visions, Haden.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I never saw you using Della or hurting her in any such way. I always saw this moment, where your mind caught up to your heart and you allowed yourself to choose you and Della. You may have tried to convince yourself that you would use her when you needed to but you never truly believed that. I never saw it in my visions.”Brim turned toward me and watched me for a long moment.

“It felt like fate when you two met one another,” he finally said.

“Yes.”

“I’ve known Della for a very long time, Haden.

She is a smart woman–clever and cunning.

It is why she has always been a favorite god.

But make no mistake that when she sets her heart and mind on something she is willing to bend the world around her to get it.

Maybe you were never the one who was betraying her . ”

My eyebrows pinched together. Brim watched me carefully, like he was waiting to see if I understood his cryptic message.

“Is there something else that you aren’t telling me?”

“I won’t tell you what I know, Haden. Sometimes knowing too much of your fate is a curse itself.”

“Please tell me if you know who made Della’s future disappear.”

Brim stood up and moved closer to me. His head tilted to the side as I pleaded silently for any sort of answer. Something like pity filled his eyes.

“I can’t,” he said, sighing. “But I can see that you are beating yourself up over this. So, I will give you a crumb.” This time he grabbed my shoulders and looked me in my eyes. “Della has never been the prey in this plan; she has always been the hunter.”