Page 14

Della

W hen I arrived at Brim’s home, I was instantly relaxed.

Only Brim could make me feel this way. His eyes burned into me like he was scared, but not of me—for me.

Would he admit what he knew to me? I would jump into his mind and scrub away whatever he learned.

I needed to make sure that he wasn’t going to fuck up the plans we had made hundreds of years ago. We were getting close to the end.

I went and sat down in his chair without a word. Brim was staring at me oddly before he finally started rocking next to me. I zoned out on the fire, but it was because I could smell the hint of a frosty morning clinging to the air. Haden had been here very recently.

“Haden was here.” I finally broke the tension that was rolling off of Brim. He wasn’t sure how much I knew or what I wanted to discuss. It’s alright, Brim, you and I are on the same team even if you can’t remember.

“Yes, he left only an hour ago.” Brim watched me closely. I could see the concern in his eyes when my black gaze met his. “You are void.”

I ignored his observation.

“When did you figure out he was a God of Hell?” I asked Brim.

He stopped rocking and stared at me. I turned to him and watched his eyes burn with curiosity.

“You know?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Brim watched me closely, like I would transform into a beast. But I just watched him, letting him process what I had known about Haden for centuries.

I also watched to see if this information sparked any of his old memories to come back, the ones I hid from him to keep him safe.

What he asked me to do for him so the stars could not find him.

“How long have you known?”

“Since the first time I saw him,” I confessed. Which was longer than 500 years now.

Brim stood up and stared at me. This reaction was good; it meant that his memories weren’t surfacing too soon.

I needed him not to remember until I was ready for it.

Brim would understand once the memories were freed from the magic binds I placed on him.

The same ones I put on myself to hide from the stars and protect Haden from jumping into my mind and seeing things he shouldn’t.

“He wiped your memories.”

This made me smile. I leaned back, relaxing slightly, knowing Brim wasn’t a threat to my plan.

“He tried, but he can’t use that magic against his own mate.

” Or me in general. My magic would never work against me, even if it was Haden using it.

“Did you know that there was a dead mating bond between us when I saw him in Akecia? The heavens ruled that two gods could not be mated, but he was mine. The moment I saw him, I knew, but I needed to figure out how to undo what the heavens decided. I would not settle for anyone but Haden. I truly believe that the heavens thought that I wouldn’t see the bond between us—they were wrong, and it changed everything for me. ”

Brim was losing it. He hurried over to a small cupboard and grabbed a bottle of liquor and began drinking it from the bottle. He offered it to me, and I figured it would help, so I took a swig from it.

“You remember meeting him the first time?”

“Yes, Brim, I made sure we met that day. It was not merely an accident that he saw me in Akecia. He always appeared there first when he surfaced, so I waited for him.” I left out the part that I summoned him there.

Haden had never noticed that he left Hell more frequently or longer than his siblings.

“For the love of the heavens, what the fuck is happening, Della? Is this why you told me to tell Haden that you were never the prey, but the hunter?"

"Yes," I had forgotten that I told Brim that so long ago. Haden was feeling all sorts of guilt for something he had no control over.

I knew I needed to give him a sliver of the truth.

A truth that not even Haden knew. There was so much about all of this that Haden didn’t know.

What would he think when he found out I was the villain in this story?

I manipulated him. He still thought he was in control of all of this, but it had always been me.

How did I tell him without him knowing I had been there when Haden was sentenced to Hell? That was the first time I had ever seen Haden, and it changed everything. My gaze moved to Brim.

“Did you know that the Gods of Hell are not supposed to have mates?” I asked him, and he nodded. “Haden does not know that I used to visit him in Hell. He called into my mind as he slept. There was no way I was letting my real mate suffer down there.”

“You went to Hell?” Brim grabbed his scraggly white hair and yanked on it. “My mind is not comprehending what you are saying.”

“Yes,” I had gone to Hell nearly every night for a century to see Haden, even if he did not know I was there. I could not stay away from him. “He was my mate, even if he didn’t know it because the heavens tried to take it away.”

“He does.” Brim frowned. “He could see the faint mating bond between you two. He is convinced the stars killed it.”

So he did see it that day in Akecia. It wasn’t the stars who had done it, but the stars were the entire reason for this clusterfuck.

“Did you know that there is a God of Fate?” I asked.

“No, there isn’t.” He scoffed. But my smile widened. “There is a god no one knows about?”

“He is one of the old gods.”

Brim looked at me like I had lost my mind.

The stars did not have power over the old gods.

The first gods to be created were the most powerful.

Only the heavens could stop them if they needed to be, and they likely wouldn’t.

The biggest mistake that the heavens and old gods did was create the stars. Now that issue needs to be rectified.

“No one knows the old gods; they hide from us. They do not want to be involved in issues happening. And they do not share anything about themselves.”

I nodded. That was true. The gods did not want to be bothered, but I couldn’t blame them. If I had been one of the first gods, I would be hiding too. Living for that long would be a nightmare.

“Well, I’ve met him. He exists, and he is quite a pain in the ass.

” I laughed at the memory of him. “He refused to help me change fate so Haden was actually mine. That mating bond between us was dead. It teased us with the idea that we should have been together, but we couldn’t be. That damn curse on Haden forbade it.”

“I’m sorry… You met an old god?” He gawked at me.

“Yes.” I grinned. Abram had been such a pain in my ass too. I could see why he hid away from everyone; he was hardly sociable. “Now, let’s talk about the curse I put on myself.”

Brim stopped pacing around, and his mouth fell open. He reached forward and ripped the bottle of liquor from me, taking a swig from it.

“Ardella, you are full of secrets,” he said with concern. He had no fucking clue. “You cursed yourself?”

“Yes.” I leaned forward in the chair. “When I killed Remiah, I cursed myself.”

Brim came and sat down next to me in his chair. He reached for my hand and held it in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I don’t understand.”

I looked into his kind eyes.

“She was a fated mate to a god. It is a divine law that we are not allowed to cause harm to mates, and I killed her.” I pulled my arm from him and grabbed the sleeve of my dress, pulling it up. “I am falling from the grace of the heavens for it.”

Brim looked at the broken stars on my arm, and his gaze snapped to mine.

“Della…”

“It is alright, Brim.” It was part of my plan.

“Is that your curse?”

“No,” I sighed and looked at the fire again. The flames reminded me of Hell. “If I do not correct my mistake, I will lose Haden permanently. That is my curse. A mate for a mate.”

“For fuck’s sake, Della. How will you ever correct that?”

“I have a plan.”

“Which is?” he asked.

I frowned at him.

“I can’t tell you, but I know that you've seen parts of my future, Brim.” I could see that he wanted to argue with me, but I didn’t give him the chance. “You are forbidden from telling anyone what I told you today.”

“But…”

“No, no buts. Haden can’t know what I am going to do. He will know when the time is right. I will not lose him, and he will try to stop me when he learns what I have to do to keep him and save the gods."

“Della, why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Because I have been trying to save him from Hell for over 500 years. And there is no way in hell that this godsdamn curse will stop me from having him. I will not fail. The heavens thought that I would not kill a mate of a god to save Haden, and they were wrong. But the heavens also know me; they know I will make this right. My problem lies with the damn stars and their corruption. They have something I need, and I made a bargain for it. And I can’t tell you because you will think I have lost my fucking mind. ”

“You would be damned no matter what choice you made that night. You either lose Haden or curse yourself by taking Remiah.” Brim looked around the room as if he could understand better. “The stars are corrupted?”

“Yes, they are nothing like everyone believes.” I stared Brim in the eyes and smiled. “Haden is mine, and I do not want anyone else. The heavens should have never let him cross my path if they wanted me to stay away. One look at him and I knew I had found the other part of my soul.”

“You need to talk to Haden,” Brim said. “If you fall from the grace of the heavens, then his siblings will come from Hell and destroy the realm.”

“I know they will.” I looked at Brim so he knew I was serious. “It has always been my intention to fall from the grace of the heavens and break their curse.”

“What the fuck, Della?” He stood, fuming at me. “You have lost your fucking mind. You are the whole reason you fall from grace and Haden and I have been trying to stop it. He thought it was him lying to you, but it is you lying to him!”

“I have it under control,” I assured him. “This is bigger than just Haden and I, Brim. There is intention behind everything I do. I will fall from the grace of the heavens, and just know that when I do, I always knew it would happen. It is my fate. Abram told me.”

“Abram is a fucking scumbag for telling you. Knowing too much about one’s own fate is a curse within itself.”

I laughed softly and gave Brim a big grin.

“Haden is convinced he is the reason why you fall from the grace of the heavens. He is trying to stop it.”

Well, that was good to know.

“He can’t stop me. It is inevitable. I have shaped and bent fate to my will so that nothing will stop it. Not even the heavens can stop me.”

“They will stop you before you can do something so terrible.” Brim truly thought that was true, but he was wrong. “What about the stars? Even if they are corrupt, they will know this is not a line to cross and stop you.”

“I am their favorite goddess, and that was their mistake. They do not know me or what I am capable of. I will destroy everything they built, and the realm will be better for it. The stars do not hold real power, and when I am done with this, everyone will know what they have been doing. I will destroy the stars, and I will use the fact that I am their favorite to do it.”

“Della, you sound like you are a God of Hell more than Haden is.”

Haden’s wrath was pounding through me so violently. I knew that was a problem too because I was so fucking angry at the heavens, which overtook me completely when I was like this. But I didn’t tell Brim too much. I needed to play the part of a heavenly goddess.

My fate was too complicated to try and explain it to others.

So, I would pretend like I didn’t know what was going to happen, like I hadn’t seen the horrible events play out in my mind for hundreds of years.

At this point, my plan was going accordingly, and I needed to make sure that it stayed that way.

“But you came to me and pretended like you didn’t know what Haden was.” Brim frowned at my deceit.

“You must understand, Brim, that I will lie to anyone who might be a danger to Haden, including his family. I went to them too and acted as if I didn’t know everything about him already.

I have to cover my tracks thoroughly so no one suspects me.

The stars will check up on me, and everyone around me needs to be blissfully unaware of me and my plans. ”

I left out the part that I did use my own magic against myself to hide the truth because I was a danger to Haden too.

I would have tried to stop all the bad things from happening, and they had to happen.

But Cassius had done exactly what I asked him to, and now I remembered the plan I set into motion.

It was time to finish all of this once and for all.

The heavens knew my intentions, and they would allow me to do whatever I needed to.

Abram told me what would happen to the realm if I did not follow through with this, and I could never allow that.

My duty was to this realm, and I would always fulfill it no matter what.

“I don’t know you at all.” He looked like his reality had shattered.

“No, you know me the best, Brim.” That was the truth, but he didn’t remember that. But soon, he would. “Does Haden suspect that I know about him?”

Brim laughed humorlessly.

“No, he came to see if your future changed. He is trying to save you without you figuring out who he is. He is terrified that you will not love him anymore. Haden loves you; he has turned his back on his siblings for you. He is terrified that we cannot see your future.”

I smiled at Brim. Haden did love me—at least the void part of him did, and I hoped the other side of him would forgive me too.

“Do you know why we can’t see your future?”

I watched him and nodded. “Do not tell anyone what I know. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t onto me.” I stood up. “I have a meeting with the stars.”

“That’s it? You’re going to walk out of here like you did not just destroy my reality of the realm and gods—of you?”

“Yes, sorry, but I have a lot of things to do, and I am running out of time.”

“Tell me why I can’t see your future,” he begged.

“Because fate has not decided if I will have a future after this, Brim.”

Then I left.