Page 18

Della

T here was pounding on my door, but I knew I was home alone. I had come home from Haden’s to take a bath and pack some clothes. Wrapping the towel around me, I glanced into my room. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I jumped back when the pounding on my door started again.

The door was physically vibrating. What the fuck? My heart pounded because I knew someone, or something, had been following me for weeks now. I had a feeling I knew who it was—Haden’s fucking siblings.

I quickly threw on some clothes as the door continued to rattle relentlessly.

Slowly, I stepped forward, my hands shaking as I reached for the door.

As soon as I touched the handle, it stopped moving and the pounding stopped.

I ripped open the door only to be met by no one.

Instantly my eyes drifted to the floor, knowing that I would see a red lily again.

Haden’s siblings were sending me a message.

I got rid of it like I did with the other ones and slammed my door shut.

I could feel them watching and turned quickly to look out my wall of windows.

All I saw was the night sky and stars. But just as I was turning away, I saw a movement.

A tall figure stood in the shadows, but I could not make out anything about them.

I walked to the window and stared directly at them as I lifted my hand and flipped them off. They disappeared without a reaction. Fuck, something told me that I would be meeting all of them very soon. My door opened, and Mikel stood in the doorway. His starlight eyes met mine.

“I heard a noise,” he said as if I asked what he was doing. “Are you alone?”

“Yes.” I looked away from him because every time I looked at my brother, I saw the devastation in his eyes, a haunting reminder of what I did to him.

Guilt rippled over me. These feelings were getting worse with each passing day.

It was like the universe was punishing me for trying to be happy.

The fates knew I killed Mikel’s happiness and didn’t deserve happiness either.

“You don’t look alright.” Mikel tried again.

I glanced at him for a brief moment, taking in the dark rings under his eyes and his disheveled clothes. He looked terrible. I heard him crying through the walls at night sometimes. He called out to Remiah in his dreams.

“I’m fine.”

Mikel hesitated before turning around, and for some reason I wanted him to stay like he used to, back when we were all each other had—before I ruined it.

“Mikel,” I called out.

He stopped and turned to me.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I just have to say this before I leave.” I stared at him. “I love you, and I will never ask for your forgiveness, but I want you to know that what happened with Remiah—”

“No. I don’t need you to pretend to care about me, Ardella. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say about my mate, the mate you murdered.”

Tears formed in my eyes.

“Do you know what it is like to fall asleep in a lonely bed that you used to share with your soulmate and wake up to a never-ending nightmare? Remiah is all I think about. When I am awake, our memories flood my mind, and when I sleep, my mind pictures the life we would have if you didn’t ruin everything you fucking touch.

“You took everything from me, and you have no idea what it is like to live after you lose your fucking mate and have no way to join them in the next life. Did you know I gave her my star? I was supposed to see her the next morning, and I was going to tell her what she was to me. I was going to mark her, and you fucking took her away hours before I got everything I ever wanted.”

“Mikel…”

“The heavens must be so disappointed in you. How could they make such a cold, heartless bitch the Goddess of Life? You destroy everything you touch. Maybe they will punish you by taking away your mate so that you know what this feels like. You are a reminder of everything I fucking lost. I hate seeing you. I hate knowing that you are walking around, alive, and my mate died at your hands. If you needed a soul to send along, then maybe you should have given up yours. The heavens above know it, and so does anyone who is around you for more than a few days. You are undeserving of anything. You're evil. You probably don’t even possess a soul.”

His words crushed me, but I did not have an argument. I was only comforted by knowing that I would be getting her back for him.

“If I could bring her back, I would,” I whispered.

“Shut up!” he yelled so violently that the walls shook. “I don’t want to hear you say anything. You aren’t sorry. I see you sneaking out of here day after day. I see you smiling. I see you being happy, and you don’t deserve it.”

"Mikel,” Pia’s voice drifted from behind him. He looked at her and glared.

“I hope whoever is taking the gods fucking takes you, and I never have to see you again,” he spat toward me before walking off. I waited until I didn’t hear his footsteps before I started crying softly. Pia rushed to me and grabbed me in a tight hug.

“Mikel doesn’t understand, Della, because he doesn’t want to. He needs you to be the bad guy in this whole situation because if you aren’t, then he has to face the truth of how he failed Remiah. He should have marked her so no harm would come to her.”

“Maybe I should tell him that Haden is my mate. Maybe that would make him understand that I never meant to hurt him. But I also know what it is like to feel what he is. When Haden died, I thought I would die; I wanted to die. Nothing made me feel better. And I know deep in my heart that him knowing that Haden is my mate would make no difference. I hate myself for the harm I caused him. He is destroyed and heartbroken. I deserve his hatred.”

Pia went rigid against me. When I looked at her, her eyes were focused on the door. I turned to see Mikel listening to our conversation. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as I waited for him to say anything. His eyes were wide as he watched me.

“He’s your mate,” he whispered.

“Yes.” I nodded. There was no turning back now, so I let it all out. “He was the man I fell in love with—the one that died. He was reborn, and the heavens gave him to me as a mate.”

Mikel’s face fell as he realized that I could never let my mate die.

Mikel stared at me like he had never seen me before.

His eyes filled with tears before he turned from us and walked away without a word.

It was almost worse to not have him acknowledge this new information at all.

I wanted him to tell me he understood or yell at me that he didn’t care.

I needed to know where his mind was with this news. Not knowing was going to eat me alive.

“Well, I guess that takes care of that,” Pia sighed.

“I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing.” I watched the doorway, wondering if he was going to come back, but he never did.

“I’m going to go stay with Haden for a few days. I’ll be back.” I smiled softly to hide the terror I felt. I would not be back.

“Have fun,” Pia said as she walked out of my room.

I grabbed a few changes of clothes and headed for Haden’s room. When I got there, Haden was waiting for me. He immediately walked over to me, pulled me into a hug, before kissing me.

“I know you promised you were coming back, but I really didn’t think you were.”

“I will always come back to you,” I said, meaning that I would find him again if I died.

I reached up and rubbed the hair off his forehead. Gods, he was handsome. Haden smiled as he leaned down and kissed me again.

“Are you sure everything is alright?” he whispered. “You can tell me if you are angry with what I said.”

“I’m fine. I know you didn’t mean it. Well, I know that this side of you did not, and I know that I deserve the hatred from the other side of you.” I swallowed hard as his stormy eyes stared into mine. He was looking for any reaction that would let him know I was lying.

“He still loves you too, but he is angry that he does.”

“Maybe one day I can get his forgiveness, but I suppose if I can’t at least I still have you.”

Haden stared at me for a long moment, and I knew he was suspicious of me. Maybe I should have pretended to be upset with him and what was said. But in all honesty, our time was limited, and I didn’t want to waste it with fake anger.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“Home.”