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“I wasn’t trying to use you, Trey. I don’t know why I did that or what I wanted from it. I just—it felt right in the moment.”

“And now it doesn’t?”

My eyes fall to the grass. “I... I don’t know.”

Trey takes my hands again and gives them a comforting squeeze.

“Look, baby, I know you’re confused, and that’s okay.

You’ve got two conflicting parts inside you: the part that thinks you’re in love with Caleb, and the part that’s actually in love with me.

I understand that, and I’ve been patient about it.

Hell, I let you go for almost three years without knowing if you’d ever come back to me.

But you did, and I don’t want to ever let you go again.

You belong with me, Arella. I know you know that.

You’ve said it yourself. We’re soul mates. ”

I choke up because there’s so much truth in those words. However, the other truth is that I’ve already made a commitment to someone else. Caleb’s recent emotional absence and lack of physical attention don’t mean I shouldn’t honor the vows we made to each other. Right?

Or is that just my past self talking? Am I doing that thing again where I make up excuses to stay with a man who doesn’t treat me the way I want to be treated?

Am I doing that thing again where I convince myself to stay in a relationship because it’s easier than getting out?

Or because I have hopes that he will change?

Maybe it’s me who needs to change. Maybe I should be a better wife to Caleb. I have been pretty naggy lately. I suppose I could lay off bringing up all the things that bother me about him.

Maybe he needs more space. I suppose I could spend more time alone or with my friends. I need to work on getting a loan for my bakery anyway. I could put more time into that.

I could stop asking him for intimacy too. It’s not like I need to have sex with him to know he loves me. He still tells me enough. I don’t remember the last time he did, but it’s within the last week for sure.

The bottom line is that Caleb loves me, and I think I should give him more time to... well, I don’t know. Figure out how to work through his stress without letting it affect our marriage?

Whatever it is, I don’t want to hurt him. Unfortunately, someone in this situation is going to get hurt, and if it’s not Caleb, that means it has to be Trey.

“Not all soul mates end up together,” I say with a lump in my throat.

Trey’s shoulders slump as he drops my hands. “That’s the excuse you want to stand on?”

“It’s not an excuse. It’s true.”

“But you’re with someone who doesn’t truly love you.

He only thinks he loves you because he had his memories altered that way.

But me , Arella, I love you. Deeply. I feel it every moment of the day.

Please, baby. Come home with me. I know there are logistics we’ll have to figure out, but I’m confident that as long as we’re together, we can make it. ”

For a split second, I consider it. I picture myself running home, packing up what I own, and running off with Trey.

Then I picture the conversation I’d have to have with Caleb.

I imagine telling him that we need to get a divorce.

That everything we have together no longer matters.

I picture my sweet husband sobbing from the heartbreak, and it kills me. I can’t do that to him.

I look into Trey’s eyes and hope he can see how much it kills me to do this too. “I’m sorry, Trey. I just can’t.”

“So that’s it then?” He throws his arms out, letting them drop back to his sides. “You’re just gonna go home and pretend like we never happened?”

“I have to.”

“But do you want to?”

Not really . “I don’t have a choice. I made a vow to be with Caleb.”

Trey scoffs like that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “Vows can be broken. Half the married people in this fucking country do it.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to be one of them.”

He huffs and shakes his head. “So let me get this straight: When you asked me to kiss you, you did it knowing you wouldn’t leave him for me, and not once did you stop to think about how that would affect me?”

I didn’t, and now that he puts it that way, I feel even worse. This whole time, I’ve been so focused on feeling guilty about betraying Caleb, I didn’t think about how I was betraying Trey too.

He continues, “You know how I feel about you. It’s not a fucking secret. Didn’t you think it was wrong to play with my heart like this?”

“I’m sorry, Trey. I made a mistake.” The second that comes out of my mouth, I know it’s a lie.

Everything I just did with Trey didn’t feel like a mistake.

It felt right. This is the first moment it has ever felt wrong—and only because society would say so.

Inside, I’m not entirely convinced. Being with Trey has always felt right.

Letting him touch me feels right. Even picturing a life with him feels right. So why can’t I bring myself to do it?

“You just slept with me twice , Arella. That’s not a mistake. That’s a choice.”

“I won’t let it happen again,” I lie, because if he kissed me right now, I wouldn’t stop him.

He takes a step back as if he needs more distance from me. “So that’s all I am to you? A mistake?”

“No. That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“Just that I shouldn’t have let things get that far.”

“But you did.” He gapes at me like he can’t believe what’s happening.

I’m with him on that because I can’t believe what’s happening either. What have I done? And why do I feel so conflicted? My head is telling me I should leave while my heart is begging me to stay.

Trey swallows hard, his breaths going ragged.

“You wanna know something I’ve learned in my fucked-up life?

It’s that when other people make mistakes , somehow I’m always the one who ends up paying for them.

” In one swift motion, he scoops up his backpack and tosses a strap over his shoulder.

Without another look at me, he marches away.

I run after him and stop in front of him with my hands up to his chest. “Where are you going?”

“The airport.” He doesn’t stop. He only swerves past me.

I stay where I am. “You can’t just leave like this.”

He twists around with his arms out to his sides.

“How do you want me to leave? Do you want me to tell you that my heart’s not broken?

Do you want us to go back to the way things were when we were living in our own little world of make-believe?

Do you want me to walk you to your car and die inside as I watch you drive back home to him ?

I can’t do that, Arella. I told you once we went that far, there was no going back.

So—this is me—not going back.” He hurries toward the woods again.

I catch up to him and stop him with a hand to his chest. He feels hard under my palm. “I don’t like ending things like this.”

“How do you want to end things, then?”

I lower my hand because I don’t like feeling how tense he is. “On a good note.”

“There is no good note. At least not for me. You know what’s stupid is that I’ve always known this was going to end badly. Right from the start, I knew that eventually, you would leave and I’d be left with nothing.

“Yet every single week, I showed up here, willing you to come out of those trees. You know why? Because I’m so fucking in love with you that even knowing I would get hurt in the end couldn’t stop me from yearning to see you.

“The stupidest part is that even if someone had told me at the beginning that this is a thousand percent how it would end, I would have come here to see you anyway. Because these last nine weeks with you are worth all the pain I’ll have to endure trying to let you go again.”

For a second time, I consider taking the other path—the one where I choose Trey. I can vividly see us in my new bakery together. I can picture myself getting to know his friends and supporting him in his musical career. I can picture us growing old together. In a perfect world, that’s how it’d be.

But we don’t live in a perfect world, and things happen.

What if it doesn’t work out between us? What if our relationship turns toxic?

What if he ends up changing his mind? What if he gets too busy for me, and we drift apart the way Caleb and I have?

I would have left my marriage for nothing, and I’d be right back where I am now.

“Why don’t we try to come up with a solution that will make us both happy?” I say.

“The only thing that’s going to make me happy is you saying you’ll be with me.

So I’m going to ask you one last time, Arella.

And if you say anything other than yes , I’m heading straight to the airport, and I’m not looking back.

” He sucks in a deep breath, then blows it out. “Will you, please, leave him for me?”

I can’t believe he’s trying to force me into a big decision like this on the spot. Even if I knew that everything would work out for us, that doesn’t mean I can just drop my husband without even talking to him first. “I’m sorry, Trey. I just can’t.”

The light that’s been shining in his eyes for the last nine weeks suddenly goes dark. He takes one long look at me as if he thinks it’s the last time he’ll ever be able to. Then, without a single word, he turns and disappears into the trees.

I’m left stunned and speechless.

By the time I’ve gathered myself enough to realize I should chase after him, it’s too late. When I run out to the gravel road, his bike is gone.