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Story: Screwed
CASPIAN
It’s not as though I can really see or smell or hear. I just know what my eyes would see if I had them. So it’s not like any of my senses are very sharp, because they’re not really senses.
But I know when she’s near.
Even from this Jaegoff’s pocket, I know where I am and I know she’s close.
“Give me a sec to get the punchlist,” she says. “I’m sure it’s complete.”
There’s too much insecurity in her voice. My girl hates leaving a job unfinished. I love that about her. She should never, ever sound as though she’s on thin ice.
“Nah. Not that. You forgot something else.”
It’s like he can hear it too. He doesn’t get me out of his pocket to allay her fears. He’s enjoying this too much. He’s a monster who needs one thing and one thing only—my flathead, jammed through his eye until it hits the back of his skull.
“What else?”
Oh, but he doesn’t know her. She already sounds stronger, knowing she completed her job. She doesn’t have to worry so much.
“Nice place. Mind if I sit?”
“I was on my way out.”
He drops onto the couch. “I was thinking…” he lies. “I’m going to be in LA maybe three months outta the year. Take some meetings with studio guys. MGM’s looking to do a biopic. I made them beg. Tears in their eyes. ‘Please, sir, give us the rights.’”
“You said I forgot something.”
“Sit. Take a load off.”
“Like I said, I was on my way out.”
“Why you so tense all the time? Life is good. You gotta relax.” He pats the cushion next to him. His jacket folds. Because of the way I’m situated, that makes my handle poke out.
“Is that my screwdriver?”
“What?”
“In your pocket. That’s what I forgot?”
“This? Sure.” He pulls me out and tosses me onto the coffee table. “That was original of you. Better than panties. I woulda just tossed those. But a screwdriver tells me you left it behind and that piques my interest. Good thinking.”
She swipes me up. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
“Sure, sure. Now come on and sit so we can talk about what I can do for you. Don’t make me chase. I like it too much.”
All I can think about is how hard she’s going to have to thrust me to cut past his eyelid to fully pierce the eye.
“Thanks. I’m so sorry. But really. I have to go.”
“You want to hear my offer, Julia.” He leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees. I fucking know that posture. It leverages his weight when he’s ready to put his hands on her.
“Maybe another time.”
“Now is best for me.”
There’s a staring contest. She puts her thumb right at the top of my handle.
Good girl. That’ll keep the handle from slipping when my flathead hits the back wall of his eye socket.
“The hot water heater’s busted again.” Tonya comes down the carpeted steps. “I called… Hello? Who’s this?”
Duke stands. “Hey, Tanya.”
“Tonya.”
“I was making your boss here an offer.”
“Sure, honey.” She turns to Julia. “I called the supe. Dozer’s coming to look at it.”
Neither the building superintendent nor any of his handypeople are named Dozer. Besides, the two women in this apartment can fix anything that goes wrong in it.
“Cool. Thanks.”
“How about I walk you down?” Duke says.
“No, I’m good.”
“You said you were leaving.”
“Didn’t you hear? She’s gotta meet with the super about the water heater.” Tonya grabs her jacket off the hook.
“Can’t you fix it?” he asks Julia.
“I’m paying Dozer to do it. Do you like working when you’re home?”
The answer’s going to be interesting. I’ve heard them talk about how this guy hasn’t worked a day in his life.
Tonya rescues him from answering. “You can walk me down instead.” She opens the door, but Duke doesn’t move. “See you later, Soph. Duke, come on and walk me. Keep me safe. Have you seen this neighborhood?”
The neighborhood is fine to the people who live here.
Maybe not to Duke though, because he looks resigned to keeping up the appearance of a man who protects women.
While he’s turned around, Julia makes a face to Tonya that can only be interpreted as are you sure?
And when Duke turns away, Tonya waves her hand and rolls her eyes as if nothing about this guy is a problem.
“Thanks for bringing him back.” Julia holds me up.
She didn’t call me an “it.” She called me a “him.” She’s never done that before and something as simple and unexpected as a correct pronoun makes me feel so damn good .
“You and me talk later,” he says on the way out.
Then he’s gone, and she breathes a sweet sigh of relief.
But I’ve known guys like Jaeger Duke. He’ll be back.