Page 21

CASPIAN

The sun is up now.

The bell rang at one point. A guy called out “delivery!” but when no one responded, he left.

Later, the door opens. Julia’s carrying two plastic Avalon Market bags. She rips a stapled piece of paper from one.

“Aw, it’s from Dickface,” she says. “He found out we had no food and blah blah.” She crumples up the note.

Tonya follows. Thank God. She loves Julia. She’ll keep her safe.

Julia drops the first Avalon Market bag on the counter and brings the other one into the bedroom.

“Caspian!” she calls.

Tonya drops her bag on a kitchen chair and scans the room. She runs her finger along a windowsill and wrinkles her nose when she sees what she’s picked up.

Julia singsongs my name through the house. “I have clothes for you. Tonya’s here, so you better put them on.” She comes back. “I don’t know where he went.”

“You want to amend that story, babygirl?” Tonya stands over the sink to wash her hands, shakes them, and searches for a towel. She freezes when she sees me on the floor.

“I hope he didn’t go far.” Julia sounds worried. “We have a punchlist to finish today.”

Tonya scoops me up. “Is this him?”

Julia sees me and covers her mouth with her hands, eyes wide. She looks as if she’s going to cry. I want to kill the guy that made her feel this way, except it’s me.

I was eating when it happened.

It was the first moments I’d had alone since getting my body back.

I was thinking about Giancarlo, who was a few years older than all of us.

That matters when you’re ten and he’s thirteen.

He kept us out of trouble together, then got us into more profitable trouble…

also together. He felt bad for dragging us into the life, but it wasn’t like there was ever another option for kids like us.

We kept each other safe. Giancarlo was the organizer. Tony was numbers-and-data-smart. Enzo was built like a Sequoia. I was the soft skills guy.

We were perfect. Loyal to a fault. Always looking out for one another. There were women who fit in with us for a time. Enzo almost got married, but she didn’t trust Giancarlo, which was sensible from the outside. That was the problem. She didn’t want to be inside. So eventually Enzo let her go.

As I rinsed the ramen broth from the pot, I wondered if Julia would fit in.

She would. She’s perfect. They’d love her, but they’re stuck, and nothing seems right.

I have to get her off this island, then I have to get the guys out.

After that, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be with my brothers and Julia. Together, we’ll figure it out.

And suddenly, the emptiness gets so deep, it pulls me down to a place where I can’t think clearly or deeply. Where I can’t move. Where my vision is eyeless and dimmed, and my hearing is muffled without ears.

Even my rage at being stuck here again is filtered through the fact that I don’t have a heart.

The cabinet door shakes, opens half an inch, then slaps back. The door next to it bobs open, and a gray mouse creeps out.

“Well, here you are again.” My demon finally found a mammal.

“And here I am without my promotion.” It noses me out from under the cabinet overhang to the center of the floor, where I can’t be missed.

“You seem surprised. You thought the curse was broken.” The mouse sits on its haunches.

“Sorry to say, you didn’t come in alone.

This isn’t just about you. It’s about all four of you. ”

That makes sense.

All that has to happen is she changes me back, I tell her what she has to do, and she does it.

The mouse chuckles as if it’s not that simple, but then stops. It’s just a mouse, and I’m just a screwdriver with no idea how to make it about all four of us.

Julia’s crying as she unloads the delivered groceries. Macaroni and cheese. Ramen. Milk. It’s as if Duke just rebought her original list, with fewer apples.

Those were really good. I miss them.

“I’ve never seen you so upset over a man.” Tonya looks suspicious. She thinks I’m some random rapist with a really crazy story—which is half true.

“It’s fine.” She wipes her eyes with a paper towel. “I’m just surprised. But it’s good. It’s easier to get a screwdriver off this compound than a naked guy anyway. That was the point of all that fucking last night. Maybe it was a delayed reaction.”

“Shit, this is too weird.” Tonya sniffs the open milk and polishes it off.

“I’ll change him back when we get home. But for now?—”

“Punchlist.” Tonya tosses the empty carton. “And if we get home and there isn’t some naked Italian dude in the apartment after you… whatever…” She waves in my direction. “You’ll see a therapist. Yes? Say yes.”

I’m a fucking screwdriver with no arms to hold Julia and no voice to tell Tonya that no, her partner does not need therapy. I am real. I am here. Julia is as sane as they come.

“Yes,” Julia says quickly and definitively, because she knows I exist. Then she picks me up and holds me in her fist. “Let’s get the job done before we get roped into that party.”

When Tonya’s not looking, Julia kisses my handle and says, “Let’s get to work, Caspian.”