Page 32 of Savage Sacrifice (The Savage Six #4)

POLARIS

M y heart aches as I stare at the house I’m supposed to call my home, but my home, in the form of my men, kissed me goodbye five times before life tore us apart.

As the front door closes behind me, I lean against it, desperate for it to keep me propped up before I crumble under the pain growing in my chest.

“Hey, is this the walk of shame?” Ben’s voice carries down the hallway from the kitchen, easing a little of the sadness that clings to me like a second skin.

I manage to lift the corner of my mouth a tick as he appears in the doorway straight ahead.

“Ding, ding, ding, I was right, it is. How lucky did my girl get?” he asks, wagging his eyebrows at me, and I feel the heat burning at my cheeks instantly.

“I’ll take that as a very lucky girl,” he declares.

“Stop,” I grumble, hiding my head in my hands as I will the color in my face to fade.

When I lift my head, I find him glancing at his watch. “Luckily for you, we need to leave,” he states, cutting the remaining distance between us.

“Do we have to?” I breathe, wiping a hand down my face, exhaustion tingling through my limbs. I need five minutes to process the last twenty-four hours alone, but the immediate shake of his head tells me I’m not going to get it.

“Maybe next time you don’t stay up all night fucking lover boy,” he insists, reaching behind me to open the door before slinging his arm around my shoulders and scurrying us both outside.

I attempt to dig my feet in, but fail miserably when I consider the fact that I was indeed up all night with a lover boy, but not the one he thinks.

The mid-morning sun threatens to melt me on the spot, and the thought of the campus A/C lures me closer despite the storm brewing in my mind. Falling into step with the menace that is Ben, I bask in this newfound friendship between us.

We barely spoke at Florentine’s, and words were limited when we had them at Trinity Falls. Here, it’s different. He doesn’t remember everything I do. To him, we’re just two people being friends, and seeing this side of him is incredible.

With that thought in mind, I don’t entirely hate being away from everyone. Maybe being normal for a little while will do me some good.

“How did things go with Bianca?” I ask, hoping to draw the conversation away from me as he drops his arm from my shoulders and shrugs.

“She’s playing hard to get,” he states, the grin still etched on his face, and I shake my head at him in disbelief.

“You like that game too much,” I mumble, acutely aware that he used to be like this with Sian.

“Do I? I don’t remember,” he states, and guilt instantly floods my veins.

He’ll remember. Not now, but soon.

Clearing my throat, I tuck a loose tendril of hair behind my ear as I attempt to change the subject again, but he beats me to it.

“What are your plans for the day?”

“Classes, I guess,” I say with a shrug. I really don’t have the mental capacity for it, but the desire to speak to Professor Otto, or Octantis as he’s actually called, has me putting one foot in front of the other.

“Are we cashing in on our coffee date today, then?” he asks, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, and I nod.

“Sure.”

“Is your boyfriend coming?” he pushes with a grin, and I roll my eyes.

“Probably not,” I grumble, hating the reminder that I’m not with them right now, but Ben has his sights set on something else.

“So he is your boyfriend,” he says with a wide grin, and I wave him off.

Boyfriend? He’s so much more than that. I’m his devoted, does that make him mine too?

Regardless, he is a vital member of my coven, or he was at least. I don’t know how to describe him to myself, never mind trying to explain it to Ben, who wouldn’t understand it all with his current lack of memories

“I don’t know, I just know he’s mine,” I settle on, and he throws his arm around my shoulder again, offering me a half squeeze.

“That’s cute,” he says with a chuckle. “You can tell me more about it at two o’clock at the coffee shop. Let’s not leave each other hanging this time,” he states as we approach the campus buildings.

I nod in agreement, waving him off before taking the pathway around the quad to my first class of the day.

It’s only when I reach the top of the stairs to the psychology building that I realize I haven’t even brought my backpack.

I hope there aren’t a lot of notes to take today.

My first thought is to turn around and not embarrass myself without my laptop, but I quickly squash it down, winding through the corridors until I appear at my usual classroom.

If everyone is handling life back at Trinity Falls Academy, then I need to handle it here. It’s only me in this moment that can take care of this side of things, so I need to buckle up and get on with it.

Straightening my spine and rolling my shoulders back, I enter the room with purpose, spotting Octantis by his desk. I glance around to make sure we’re alone before I call out his name.

“Octantis.” I start down the steps leading toward him, but he doesn’t turn to look at me. He doesn’t acknowledge me at all. “Octantis,” I repeat, more urgently this time, and I spot his shoulders slumping before he turns to peer at me over his shoulder.

His lips purse as he assesses me, and he slowly turns to face me with his head slightly tilted.

“Did you let your mates ravish you in your old life?” he asks as I come to a stop in front of him, his gaze fixed on mine as my cheeks heat, and I quickly lift my hand to cover the bite mark I know rests at my neck.

He rears back at the movement, eyes latched onto my hand as he raises an eyebrow in question. “You know it’s there.”

I frown at him before rolling my eyes at the disbelief in his tone. “I have eyes,” I mutter, and he shakes his head, still seeming bewildered. “What?”

He clears his throat as he straightens the lapels of his charcoal blazer. “Mere mortals can’t see them.”

“Mere mortals,” I repeat with a scoff, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes at me.

“You’re missing the point, Polaris. About the fact that you can see them.”

He’s not quite making any sense to me. Lowering my hand, I lace my hands together in front of me. “Belladora brought back my memories,” I breathe, and he shakes his head.

“Returning your memories doesn’t return your magic,” he clarifies, and it feels like a kick to the stomach. Did he just quash my hopes and dreams with one swift comment?

Emotion clogs my throat as I shrug. “I don’t know then. But I know where they are, where they all are,” I reiterate, and he hums, leaning back against his desk as he folds his arms over his chest and assesses me once more.

It’s like we’ve unlocked something here, and he doesn’t mind putting me under the microscope to dig deeper. “Tell me about your coven.”

That’s not the direction I was expecting.

“Why?”

“Consider me curious,” he breathes, arching a brow at me, and I match his stance, arms folded at my chest as I try to place a defensive wall between us.

Glancing over my shoulder, making sure no one has entered, I turn back to him with a reluctant sigh. “But is it a coven if I don’t have any magic?”

“You have your marks,” he states, and I shake my head.

“And you said that Belladora bringing back my memories didn’t bring back my magic. Besides, I don’t have any sand.”

He waves me off like acknowledging the fact doesn’t cut deep. “Your coven?” he repeats, and I exhale in frustration.

“There’s me, four wolves, and a vampire,” I grumble, hating how simple it sounds, but he doesn’t deserve the intricate details between us all that brought us to where we are now. It’s sacred, special, and I refuse to let anyone tarnish it.

Just as my own thoughts predict, he scoffs, making my nostrils flare with anger, but before I can give him a piece of my mind, he speaks. “A vampire. Grizzly bastards, am I right?”

I gape at him for a moment, needing the time to let his words sink in before a soft snicker parts my lips. “That’s one way to put it,” I admit, unable to stop the smile curling my lips as I think about Blaze.

Octantis sighs, the sound so soft I almost don’t hear it, as he glances off into the distance. ”It shocks me when I think about the fact that I miss our vampire.”

My eyebrows gather in confusion as I stare at him. “What do you mean?” I ask, but he quickly waves me off. I don’t miss the downcast look in his eyes as he pushes up off the desk, looking everywhere but at me. “Wait, Jonah was here, and you must see Belladora, why don’t you see your vampire?”

The disappointment in his gaze makes my chest tighten, but as he parts his lips, the bell rings, followed swiftly by a sea of students entering the room.

Instead of answers, I get a half assed smile. “Saved by the bell.”

The entire class is a blur as his words play on repeat in my mind. But in typical Octantis style, the second the next bell rings to draw the class to an end, he’s gone.

I slump in my seat, disappointed as I wipe a hand down my face. I didn’t even get to ask about seeing Belladora. Irritation flares through my veins. That was the whole point of coming here today, and I’ve messed it up already.

Drowning in despair, I lurch from my seat, trying to shake off the negativity before I succumb to it. If I’m going to play my part in figuring it out, then I have to remain positive, focused, and determined, because I want my family back.

I’m swallowed by the sea of students as I head for the exit, only to step outside and immediately miss the comfort of the A/C, which beckons me to head back in. I push past it, blowing my hair off my face as I head toward the coffee shop.

Halfway across campus, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, making me pause midstep.

With my breath lodged in my throat, I glance around me, but other than the few groups of students gathered under trees, against buildings, and strolling across the grounds, there’s nothing that makes my skittishness feel valid.

Taking a deep breath, I roll my shoulders back and shake it off, and as I hurry toward the coffee shop, the feeling doesn’t quite evaporate, but it eases enough for me to brush it off.

The second I step inside, the delicious smell of coffee and sweet treats fills the air.

It’s been my new addiction since the first time we came here after class.

Ben is adamant it must be our favorite spot on campus, and I don’t have the heart to correct him, so I play along, happy for it to be our hot spot. For now at least.

I spy my friend by the far window to the left with two coffees already on the table.

Weaving through the crowded space, I all but fall into my seat when I get to him, sighing contently before bringing the rich, milky goodness to my lips.

A groan parts my lips, but as I offer Ben a tight smile, his brows furrow.

“Are you okay? You look a bit down,” he states, seeing right through the facade I was hoping to hide beneath.

“Thank you for the drink,” I murmur, hoping to avoid his intense stare, but he simply cocks a brow at me, waiting for an answer.

My shoulders slump as I try to wave him off. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” He braces his elbows on the table, refusing to give up, and I shrug.

“Honestly, it’s all cluttered. I can’t even figure it out,” I admit, and he offers me a soft smile.

“That’s insane. I mean, I don’t remember what anything was like before the accident, but now, I swear I feel… light and carefree. I want that for you too, Polaris. If there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word.”

A genuine smile touches my lips, formed from a combination of his offer to help and the fact that he doesn’t carry the weight of our past with him. Maybe it’s a good thing for him. Maybe this truly is the fresh start he deserves.

Rubbing my lips together, I re-focus, considering the fact that there’s more than one thing on my new to-do list, and if I can’t figure out seeing Belladora right now, maybe I need to consider the other angle I have to work.

Settling my gaze on his, I take a deep breath. “I need to find my parents.”

As soon as I mutter the words, my chest tightens for multiple reasons.

One, I don’t think I’m ever going to care to see them or even begin to attempt to unpack how I feel about what they did, and how the consequences of their actions hurt me so much.

And two, the day they showed up is the day Belladora wiped Bianca and Ben’s memories.

I don’t even know how much of that day he remembers, or if I’ve committed an ultimate sin in bringing something up from that day.

“Are you sure? I don’t remember you being too happy the last time they showed up,” he states, leaning back in his seat as he eyes me, and I shrug again.

“I wasn’t. Everything that day feels like a blur. I don’t even really remember it, but I think I want answers.” I hate that the words on my tongue don’t feel like the lie I want them to be.

He scoffs. “I must have been feeling all of the emotions for you, too, because I don’t remember much either. I do remember you leaving, though, and they both sat crying on the sofa before I told them to leave,” he states, and I blink at him in surprise.

“You did?”

“They made you cry,” he repeats, like that makes it all make sense. “But they did give me this to give to you,” he adds, stuffing his hand into his backpack to retrieve a sealed cream envelope.

I gulp at the sight of it, making no effort to reach for it. “You’ve had this the whole time?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to cause you any unnecessary pain, but now it looks like you’re ready for it,” he explains, offering it to me.

We both stare at it for a moment before I gulp past the fear thrumming through my veins and take it from his grasp.

“Are you going to open it?” he asks when I continue to stare at it.

“Yes,” I breathe, when really, the truth is, I don’t know.

“I’m sure it’s hard,” he sympathizes, and I offer him another tight smile.

“I’m scared of what it’s going to say,” I murmur, but that’s just another lie. I’m scared I can’t open it in front of you in case there’s something supernatural written that you can’t know.

Clapping his hands together, he nudges my mug in my direction before reaching for his own. “Well, the ball is in your court now, Polaris,” he declares, nodding for me to take my mug, and I do, tapping the porcelain against his.

“Yeah, it looks like it is.”