Page 4 of Santa Daddies

I bit back a laugh at my sister’s crassness and scratched my head. “Say what you will, Madly, but none of these elves are just regular dudes. Regular men do not look like this. At least not the ones I meet.”

“I’d say wait until you see Santa, but we already have.” She used her head to nod toward the hallway door where we’d seenthe man in the Christmas present boxers. “He’s the one who started Sexy Santa Inc And we’re lucky as hell tonight because he’s not always the one who plays Santa, but he should be because he’s…” She didn’t finish the sentence, just pantomimed chef’s kiss.

I looked back at the dancers. One had my cousin wrapped around him like a perverted pretzel. Another had one of Charlotte’s old school friends on her knees while he did the thrusting thing he’d done to Charlotte earlier.

“Stay right here.” Madeline took off and I watched her beeline into the room, blinking at her back.

Leaning against the wall, I let my head fall back on the painted brick with a thud. I should be at home crying in a pint of ice cream, but instead I got dressed up, put makeup on, and shoved thoughts of Jett’s betrayal to the very back of my mind, so I could show up for my soon-to-be sister-in-law. Well, eighty percent of the reason I showed up was Charlotte, the other twenty involved Madeline murdering me if I didn’t.

“Here!” Madeline came back and shoved a big paper cup in my hand. “Drink this cocoa.”

I looked down my nose into the cup. “Cocoa? Just cocoa?”

“Well, it’s mint hot chocolate.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You know I don’t drink alcohol.”

She waves her hand. “Yeah, yeah. You swore it off because you get too wild when you drink.” She huffed. “Just because you lost your marbles that one time and stripped down to your bra and panties and rode a mechanical bull doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.” She shrugs. “It could have been a total fluke.”

“Madeline,” I warned. “I got arrested.”

She rolled her eyes and was once again pragmatic when she reminded me that I never actually got arrested.

“The cop was off duty, and he only escorted you home, so you didn’t get into trouble with any lusty, boozed-up cowboys.” Shesmirked, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and I knew what was coming next.

“You did beg him not to take you to jail.”

I swallowed hard, ready for her to remind me of what happened after that.

“How ‘bout you spank me instead, Officer? Or I could polish your Billy stick with my tongue,”she said in herfake Emilyvoice. Then she burst out laughing and I let my head fall back.

“Mortifying,” I grumbled.

“Loosen up, Memmy. It was ten years ago. It was your nineteenth birthday and your first time in a bar.”

“And I’ve never lived it down. Just like the Santa thing. Why can’t you ever let anything go?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “They’re both great stories. Solid gold.”

I growled. Neither was a great story. They were both humiliating and I was mocked at every family event about them.

“Just drink it. It’ll relax you.”

I took a sip and my mouth turned down in surprise. “It’s good. I don’t taste any alcohol.”

“It’s got extra whipped cream and only a tiny splash of mint liqueur. It’s just what you need to get out of your funk.”

“What I need is for Jett to get struck by lightning in the balls while putting up the Christmas lights at his new girlfriend’s house.”

Madeline pursed her lips. “In one of those freak winter lightning storms?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s rare, but it happens. It’s called thundersnow, so don’t ruin my fantasy.” I took another much larger drink of the hot chocolate. And then continued drinking it until the cup was empty.

“Come on.” She tugged me by the wrist. “Let’s get in there before Santa Daddy comes in.”

“Santa Daddy?” I asked, feeling a little weak in the knees.

Her mouth curved up in a sly grin. “Oh yeah, that’s what they call him. Santa Daddy is coming to town any second now.”