Page 32 of Sailing Free at Loch Tunnagan (Loch Tunnagan #1)

F riday night had arrived and Jess fidgeted anxiously with her napkin.

“You ok?” asked Cal.

She nodded and accepted the glass of water he handed her. The ice cool liquid helped take some of the dryness from her mouth.

“Just give me a nod if you need anything.”

The look he gave her made it clear that he wasn’t speaking about his services as a waiter.

“Thanks,” she managed to choke out. “Oh god that's him coming now.”

As Ryan approached, Jess watched a silent exchange take place between the two men. Ryan had the wits to look sheepishly down at his shoes.

Jess stood when Ryan reached the table. He hesitated and then made an attempt to hug her at the exact same moment that she chose to sit back down. This resulted in his arm ending up in a headlock position around her neck.

“Sorry!” he rushed, quickly removing her from the head lock and taking a seat at the opposite side of the table.

Casting a sideways glance to the bar, Ryan asked, “Is that the same guy that I saw you with down by the loch the day the wee girl went missing?”

Jess followed his gaze and noted that Cal was making no attempt to hide the fact that he was monitoring the entire encounter.

“Yeah, that’s Cal. He owns this hotel but he stays in the boat next to mine; I mean our boat; well, the company’s boat ,” corrected Jess.

It occurred to her that she no longer associated ‘The Sauncy Lass’ as being one of their holiday lets. It was her home.

“It appears Cal has taken on the role of bodyguard,” muttered Ryan under his breath.

Jess felt her hackles go up, “He knows what you did Ryan. He's a friend and he’s protecting me.”

Ryan flinched, “Sorry Jess, I’ve no right to feel jealous.” He rubbed at his temples, “God, everything is such a mess.”

Jess drew in a deep breath, “Let’s just get straight to the point Ryan. What is it that you came here to tell me? Why couldn’t it wait until I got back to Glasgow.”

Ryan opened his mouth to speak and then with a slight shake of his head closed it again. He took a deep breath, “Ok first thing. As you know, the team and I have been running the business as usual in your ,” Ryan cleared his throat, a sure sign he was nervous, “in your absence.”

Jess interjected, “You make it sound like I chose to head off on holiday for a month,” she scoffed, “Ryan, you betrayed me in the worst way possible. I couldn’t face anything that was even remotely related to you or to Steph or to work.”

Ryan shook his head, “Sorry, that’s not what I was trying to say.”

He spoke softly, “It was torture knowing how much I’d hurt you and not being able to see you. I desperately wanted to speak to you; to try to fix things.”

Ryan reached out to try and take her hand but stopped; his gaze focussed on somebody behind her.

Jess was aware of Cal’s presence before he spoke. She had caught the scent of his aftershave and automatically felt the tension in her muscles ebb away.

“Can I take your order?” he asked.

Neither Ryan or Jess had much of an appetite. They both ordered light meals and a glass of coke each.

Cal gently squeezed her shoulder as he passed on his way back to the kitchen. She inwardly thanked him for the gesture. It gave her strength.

Ryan continued, “A hotel in Aberfeldy approached us and asked if we would be willing to collaborate. The owner is approaching retirement age and is wanting to sell up soon. She wants to modernise the hotel and make it more appealing to buyers. She asked if we would consider coming on board as consultants.”

“That’s flattering,” replied Jess. “What did you say?”

“I’ve arranged a meeting with her.”

“When is it?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sorry. I know I'm springing it on you. You were so vehement about not being contacted, I didn’t know what to do. Will you come Jess?”

“I’d be completely unprepared,” replied Jess.

“I’ll send you everything we’ve put together so far. Tomorrow is just a preliminary meeting.”

Jess was in two minds. It felt too soon to jump straight back into work. They had barely touched upon the major elephant in the room. The unfaithful, hurtful, elephant.

However, for the first time since she had fled Glasgow, she felt a spark of interest in the business. It wasn’t the full-blown ferocious flame that used to drive her but there was definitely a glimmer of something rising from the embers. It felt good to be excited about work again.

“Forward me the information. I’ll look at it tonight and make a decision,” she replied.

The corners of Ryan’s lips twitched up, “Really?” he sounded surprised.

“I’m not making any guarantees,” warned Jess.

He nodded, “I understand.”

“Jess….” Ryan cleared his throat, his lips parted and Jess waited for him to speak but he clamped them shut again.

They fell silent for a moment and Jess watched Ryan fight some sort of internal battle. His face was pale but sweat glistened on his brow. He was uncomfortable with whatever it was he was about to say.

A feeling of dread crept up from her stomach. Her mind wavered between wanting him to spit it out and wanting to shrink away and hide.

“Ryan, just tell me.”

She waited.

His foot was tapping rapidly against the table and Jess had to place her hand over the cutlery to stop it clinking together.

Still, she waited. She refused to help him by taking the lead on this conversation.

Ryan cast another glance in Cal’s direction.

Jess stood frustrated, “Ryan, I don’t have time for your procrastination, it’s getting late and I need to read over the information for tomorrow. We’ll talk after the meeting in Aberfeldy. I want the truth, and I mean the truth about everything!”

She placed her napkin down on the table, pushed her chair back and walked out, not taking a moment to look back at him.

“Jess, wait.” The voice didn’t belong to Ryan. She turned to see Cal standing behind her, “I'll walk you down the road.”

“Aren’t you needed here?” she asked, casting a glance around the restaurant.

“The main rush has died down. The rest of the staff will be fine to finish up.”

“Thanks.” She linked arms with him and leaned in gratefully, “I could do with the company.”

They walked in companionable silence down to the boats. Her emotions drifted between anger and a sort of sad nostalgia at seeing Ryan again.

“You ok?” asked Cal softly.

Jess let out a yawn, “Hmhm.” The stress of seeing Ryan had left her exhausted.

“He wants me to go to Aberfeldy with him tomorrow. We’re meeting with the owner of a hotel who asked if we’ll do some consultancy work for them.”

Cal stiffened beside her. She was shocked to see how pale he looked.

“Are you ok Cal? You don’t look well.”

“Do you have to go?” There was an unfamiliar tremor to his voice.

Jess nodded, “I’m actually looking forward to getting my teeth into this. I’m excited to be starting a new project.”

Beads of sweat were forming on Cal’s brow now and his breathing was short and shallow.

“Cal you’re scaring me. Come inside and sit down.” She turned to move but he gently tugged her back.”

“I feel like something bad is going to happen if you go Jess.”

Jess’ breath hitched as she caught the vulnerability in his eyes.

She took his hand, “Cal look at me. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Cal inhaled deeply, “It's the road Lainey died on. Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I promise to be careful,” she whispered and led him inside.

Cal told her he was going to the bathroom and she made use of the time to whip out her phone and search what to do if someone was having a panic attack.

When he emerged into the kitchen his face was still glistening with a sheen of sweat.

She beckoned him towards the small kitchen,“ I’m going to help you. Trust me and follow my instructions.”

He looked dubiously at her but then nodded in agreement, as if he didn’t have it in him to argue.

“I need you to take two mugs out of the cupboard.”

Cal opened the cupboard door and picked two mugs.

“Close your eyes.”

Cal’s eyes shut and she marvelled for a second at the dark thick lashes that rested on his cheek.

“Describe what the cups feel like.”

Cal opened one eye quizzically, “They’re just cups Jess.”

“Just try it Cal.”

Cal sighed with resignation, “Fine, they feel smooth and cold.”

“Well done, now open your eyes and pour some water into the kettle. I want you to focus on the sound of the water running.”

Cal opened both eyes and raised an eyebrow, “Are you seriously trying to get me to make you a cup of tea! I’ve just had some kind of psychotic incident. You should be making the tea!”

Jess laughed, “I was trying to ground you by getting you to focus on each of your senses. The tea was just an added bonus.”

“Unbelievable,” muttered Cal. He folded his arms and turned dramatically away but failed to mask the grin that had spread across his face.

Jess filled the kettle and flicked it on, “Are you ok now?”

Cal nodded, not quite pulling off a nonchalant stance as he leaned against the worktop, “I know it's irrational, I’ll figure out a way to deal with them.”

“Them? So, you’ve experienced symptoms like that before?”

Cal shrugged, “Every now and then something will trigger me.”

“A grief counsellor might be able to help you, Cal. Have you thought about speaking to someone?”

He waved his hand in the air dismissively, “It doesn’t happen often enough to warrant it. I can deal with it myself.”

Jess shot him a doubtful glance but decided to keep quiet. Despite returning to his usual jovial disposition, he still looked drained. She didn’t want to push him too far.

The next morning Jess and Ryan arrived in Aberfeldy following a journey filled with awkward silences and stilted conversations about the weather. With professional smiles plastered onto their faces, they made their way into the cosy reception area of the hotel.

“Hi there, we’re here to meet the manager. We’re a bit early, it’s a 1:30pm appointment.”

“Yes, of course. Ms Galbraith should be back shortly. Can I get you some tea or coffee while you wait?” asked the receptionist.

“Tea would be lovely,” smiled Jess.

“Same for me, thanks,” replied Ryan.

The receptionist returned carrying a tray laden with a pot of tea and some biscuits.

“Where have you travelled from today?” she asked as she gently sat the tray down on the low table in front of them.

“We drove up from Loch Tunnagan. It’s a small village near Comrie.”

The receptionist looked up sharply, “Loch Tunnagan? It rings a bell….. Oh,” she put her hand up to her mouth.

“Perhaps you knew the man and lady who were involved in that awful accident?

" She shook her head sadly. “They were colleagues who had travelled up from Loch Tunnagan. Working on a bird survey, I think? They stayed here about two years ago but there was a terrible incident out on the road. It was a hit and run. The lady died and as far as I’m aware they never caught the driver of the car.”

“Did you say they were colleagues? I thought they had come as a couple?” enquired Jess.

“No, they stayed in separate rooms. I remember it clearly as I checked them in myself. They were definitely working on a project of some sort.”

“I must be mistaken,” Jess flashed the receptionist an apologetic smile, while her mind focused on what this could mean for Cal.

And for Olivia. This information could be the key Cal needed to allow himself to grieve properly, it would put an end to the doubt that had been plaguing his mind for two years.

“I can see them now, clear as day, sitting at that table over there.” The receptionist pointed her manicured finger at an alcove in the window.

“They were looking at data on local wildlife. I remember the lady asking me what kinds of birds of prey we got up this way.”

Jess felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and excused herself to check it.

Just making sure you got up to the hotel, ok?

She felt a pang of guilt. She should have sent Cal a message after seeing how worried he had been the previous evening.

Yes, got here safe x

Ryan nudged her gently, “I think that’s the owner coming over now.”

“How do you think that went?” asked Ryan as they climbed back into the car.

“Really good,” replied Jess. “I think we actually have a lot to offer as consultants.”

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed as he pulled out of the car park.

“Oh, I’d better text Cal to say we’re leaving.” Jess pulled out her phone and fired a quick message to him.

“Have you and Cal become……. close?” asked Ryan. There was hesitation in his question.

“Yes,” Jess answered honestly.

Ryan let out a sigh. He looked in the rear-view mirror then slowed the car and pulled into a layby.

“Why have we stopped?” asked Jess.

“It’s time Jess. Let’s talk,” he turned in his seat to look at her.

His expression turned sorrowful, “I have to tell you something.”

Jess' mouth went dry, “What?”

“Steph is pregnant.”