Page 10 of Sailing Free at Loch Tunnagan (Loch Tunnagan #1)

J ess had fallen into a deep sleep as soon as her head sunk onto the pillow at the Tunnagan Hotel.

She awoke feeling well rested but the comfort of the luxurious bed contrasted greatly with the uncomfortable feeling that was now lurking at the pit of her stomach.

Today’s task was to sort out the insurance for the boat and in order to do that she would need to speak to Ryan.

Procrastinating would only make her feel worse so she decided to bite the bullet and pressed the call button. The phone was answered almost immediately but it wasn’t Ryan who answered. It was a female voice; it was Steph’s voice. Bile rose in Jess’ throat.

“Hello Jess, I’m so glad you called. It’s time we talked things through like adults.”

Jess was silent. Words literally refused to form. Steph and Ryan must still be together. It wasn’t a one-off thing.

“Jess, I’m really sorry that we hurt you. We never intended for you to find out like that.”

Jess listened numbly then Ryan’s voice came from somewhere in the background.

“Steph, why’re you on my phone? Who’re you talking to?”

Jess could take no more. Without saying a word, she hung up. Shakily, she placed her phone down on the bedside cabinet and closed her eyes; willing the nausea to recede.

The phone vibrated beside her; she glanced over to see Ryan’s name illuminated on the screen. Turning the phone over, she let it go to voicemail. A ping indicated that someone had left a message. Steph or Ryan? Jess had no idea.

Mustering all her strength she dialled through to listen to the message.

“Shit Jess, Steph had no fucking right to answer my phone. I’m so sorry.

We’re working in the office and I'd just nipped out for two seconds. I don’t know what she said to you, but if she indicated that we're together it’s a load of bullshit.

Please call me back…. or I’ll try again later if you like? ”

Jess had never heard Ryan speak like that before. He was usually so mild mannered but he sounded angry; really angry.

Inhaling deeply Jess stole herself to try again. She trepidly pressed to call and this time Ryan answered.

“Hello,” he answered softly.

“Hi,” her voice wobbled a little.

They were silent for a few seconds; Jess could hear heavy breaths; a sob.

“Ryan, are you crying?”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Jess. You’re such a good person and I hurt you.”

“It’s ok,” she replied. “I mean it’s not really ok…..”

More sobbing…. more silence.

Concern for this unhinged version of Ryan crept into her chest and it annoyed her. He didn’t deserve her concern right now. Her mind was in turmoil.

“Listen Ryan, I was phoning to ask about insurance. I’m staying on the boat we bought at Loch Tunnagan. A tree fell down in the storm and damaged the window and some of the bow.”

Ryan took a second to answer, “Are you ok? Were you in the boat when the tree hit?”

“No, the guy who stays in the boat next to ours invited me to stay with him in his hotel.”

Another pause, “That’s good. I’ll get the insurance sorted for you. Can you send me some pictures of the damage?”

“Yeah, I’ll email them over,” replied Jess.

He cleared his throat, “I miss you Jess, can I come see you?”

She sighed, “Ryan, I can’t think straight right now; my head is such a mess. I need time before I can talk to you properly. I’m going to take a month away from the business and away from the mess we’re in?”

“Of course, Jess, do whatever you need to. We have savings, use those. I’ll make sure everything is sorted with the rentals. I wish I could go back in time. I hate what I did to you.”

“Thanks,” Jess replied before hanging up.

She slumped back on the bed and closed her eyes allowing her brain to process how she felt after their conversation.

It felt like she had taken her first step in the healing process.

There was no sign of Cal or MacTavish when Jess emerged from the bedroom.

Breakfast was laid out on the table again and Jess sat down to enjoy a steaming mug of coffee.

The blend was different to what she was used to back home but she liked it.

As she leaned over to grab a blueberry muffin, she noticed something had been scrolled on one of the napkins.

‘Taken MacTavish to the office to get some work done. I’m heading down to the boat at 11am. Meet me in the foyer if you fancy coming .’

Jess checked her watch. It was almost 11am.

She quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a loose knit sweater and made her way to the foyer.

She arrived just as Cal opened the door of his office.

Her breath hitched as she caught sight of him dressed in a light blue suit which had been tailored to a fit that emphasised his physique.

He was shaking hands with an astute looking business man.

The pair walked to the front door and Cal showed him out.

Jess’ gaze lowered automatically to where Cal’s trousers hugged underneath his bum.

Wow, the guy looked as good from behind as he did from the front in that suit.

Her trance was broken when she heard Dawn clear her throat from behind the front desk. She looked between Jess and Cal with a knowing smile. Jess cringed inwardly.

“Are you enjoying your stay in the Glen Monarch suite?” asked Dawn.

“It’s amazing. My only complaint is that I don’t know how I’m going to transition back to my own bed. I’ve never had such a good night's sleep!”

Dawn laughed, “Maybe the good sleep was due to all the logs you shifted yesterday. Callum showed me photos of the tree. It was huge!”

Cal called over, “Sorry Jess, the meeting ran over a bit. I’m going to change quickly and I'll be out with you in a minute!”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “He can’t stand wearing a suit, he’s worse than a child. Even on his wedding day he changed as soon as the ceremony was over.” She looked over to the closed office door with a sudden sadness in her eyes.

“How did the call with Ryan go?” asked Cal as he drove them back to the boats.

The window was rolled down letting in a cool spring breeze.

Cal’s elbow rested on the open window; one hand on the wheel, one hand loosely gripped the gear stick.

Jess was acutely aware of how close that hand was to her leg.

She looked down at it, his hands were different from Ryan’s.

These were hands used to physical labour.

Strong and possibly a bit rough in places.

She wondered how it would feel to have those hands touch her skin.

The thought sent tingles running through her.

“Jess?” Cal inquired again, “How’d it go with Ryan?”

Shaking her head to dispel the inappropriate thoughts she’d been having Jess answered, “Sorry, I was miles away. It wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated. We agreed that I would stay here for a month. I need the time to process how I feel about it all.”

Cal nodded, a smile spreading across his face.

“What, why are you smiling?” asked Jess.

“It’s nothing. Just a few days ago a wise man told you that you shouldn’t make any hasty decisions and that you needed time to process everything. If I remember correctly, he was laughed at, and I quote, told that he sounded like ‘a therapist for people on a budget’”.

Jess laughed, “Yeah I did say that, didn't I, but in my defence I was drunk.”

Cal pulled the truck into the small car park at the jetty, “We’ll need to clear the rest of the stuff from the boats so the workmen can get in to do the repairs.”

Jess opened the door, allowing MacTavish to jump out. He barked excitedly and bolted along the path that led past the jetty.

“MacTavish, come back!” she cried in a panic.

Running in the direction that the dog had sprinted off in she quickly became aware of what had excited him.

A chorus of quacks surrounded Amelie who stood in the middle of it all with a bag, throwing small chunks of bread onto the grass.

The ducks dispersed half-heartedly when the small dog ran at them but the draw of food clearly outweighed MacTavish’s efforts to chase them as they quickly regathered back around the little girl.

Olivia appeared from the cafe laughing, “MacTavish come here boy.”

Seeing the dog biscuit she was holding up, MacTavish’s attention was drawn away from the ducks. Olivia took a hold of his tartan collar and let Cal clip a lead on to it.

“Thanks!” Jess puffed out; breathless from her morning sprint.

“No problem,” replied Olivia. “This occurs pretty much on a daily basis.”

“We need to work on your recall.” Cal scolded MacTavish.

Hearing Cal’s voice, Amelie quickly abandoned her post as ‘duck feeder’ and ran over to greet him.

“Cal! Can you swing me again?”

Laughing that deep warm laugh that Jess was starting to love, Cal handed MacTavish’s lead to Jess, “Come on then.”

Jess watched as Cal scooped the little girl up and spun in circles so that her legs flew out horizontally. Her giggles of delight brought a smile to Jess’ face.

When he finally put her down, Cal wobbled around dramatically exclaiming how dizzy he was before collapsing on the ground. Amelie mimicked him then dropped down on top of him.

Olivia smiled at Jess and rolled her eyes, “That also happens on a daily basis.”

Jess manoeuvred carefully around Cal as they emptied the contents of ‘The Sauncy Lass’.

The inside of the cabin felt a lot smaller when sharing the space with his large frame.

His scent was intoxicating and her heart rate quickened as their bodies brushed past each other.

She was convinced that Cal could see the response her body was having.

She took a step back and then stumbled into a cupboard door. The door had a storage organiser hanging from it and as she fell the organiser moved aside revealing an envelope that had been stuffed behind it. Curious, she pulled it free and held it up to show Cal.

Something slipped from within the fold and fell to the floor.

“It’s a letter,” exclaimed Jess as she bent down to pick it up.

“What does it say?” asked Cal, stepping closer and leaning over her shoulder.

Jess held the cream-coloured paper out and read the neat cursive writing.

Dear Derek,

I’m so glad you got in touch. I hope you know I regret how we ended things; it should never have happened like that. I’ve thought about it almost daily over the years. Of course I would love to see you. I won’t be back in the country until next year.

Yes, I can meet you on March 22nd. It will be good to be back at our old haunt and see the village again.

I hope Edith doesn’t find this. Hide it somewhere safe.

Much love,

June

Jess looked up stunned. Her eyes met Cal’s and they both sat in silence for a few seconds.

Jess gulped, “This is private. We should put it back.”

Cal nodded but then grabbed her hand, “Wait a minute.”

“Why?” asked Jess in confusion.

“Look at the postage mark. It was sent a year ago.”

“So?” replied Jess.

“June probably doesn’t know that Derek died. She might still be planning to travel to Scotland and meet him. March the 22nd is in a week.”

Slumping down the wall, Jess sat on the floor with her knees bent to her chest. Cal joined her. He leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on his thighs.

“Should we tell Edith?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Do you think Derek was planning on having an affair?”

Cal shook his head, “I know it seems that way from the letter, but honestly Jess, I've never seen a man more devoted to a woman. They were solid as a couple. I just can’t picture it.”

“Where do you think June's travelling from?” asked Jess.

“Let’s look at the envelope again.”

Jess held it up for them both to read.

“Canada! That’s a huge trip.”

“Yeah,” Cal agreed. “Whatever Derek wrote in his letter to her, it must have been important.”

“Let’s have a look and see what else is in there. It might help explain things and we can make an informed decision about whether we should say anything to Edith.”

Jess lay the contents of the hidden stash out on the floor.

Next to the envelope and letter lay a black and white photograph that portrayed a woman who looked to be in her twenties standing by the loch.

She was adorned in bell bottom jeans and a long sleeve jumper that had a drooping bow at her chest.

“Very seventies!” remarked Cal.

Sure enough, when Jess turned the photo over, loopy writing informed them that the lady was,

‘June at the loch, photo taken September 1976’ .

“Do you think we should give this to Edith?” she inquired.

Cal frowned in thought, “Let’s take a few days to try and find out more information about who June is.

She was here in the 70’s. We could subtly ask around some of the older people in the village and see if they recognise her.

We don’t need to say we found it on the boat so hopefully nobody will make the connection with Derek,” stated Cal.

“Good plan,” agreed Jess. “I think we should try and get in touch with June to let her know that Derek has passed away. She scanned the envelope, “Hmm, there aren’t any contact details for her but maybe we could meet her on the 22nd?”

Cal looked over the letter, “It doesn’t say where they planned on meeting.”

“Oh, you’re right,” sighed Jess.

She placed the photo carefully into her purse, “I’ll start asking around tomorrow. I literally have nothing else to do now that I’ve decided to take a month off. It’ll be good to have something constructive to focus on.”