Page 26 of Sailing Free at Loch Tunnagan (Loch Tunnagan #1)

J ess woke up the next morning and slowly became aware of something warm and solid under her head.

Confused, she let her eyes flicker open and the blurry outline of a man’s body came into view.

As her vision cleared, she saw Cal look down at her and the events of the previous night flashed in her memory.

“You seem to have creeped past the midway barrier,” he chuckled.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed and lifted her head up off his chest.

“Oh Jesus, I’ve drooled on you.”

Cal was full heartedly laughing now as Jess desperately tried to wipe the drool off his chest with her pyjama sleeve.

She placed her head in her hands, “I’m mortified.”

“Jess, do you remember the situation I was in last night? You literally had to rescue me from my own T-shirt. I think we are even in terms of who has embarrassed themselves more in the last 24 hours.”

Jess laughed, “Yeah, you did look pretty ridiculous.”

Cal reached over and gave her a playful shove.

A knocking on the suite door made them both stop and listen in silence. There was a click and then the sound of the door opening.

“Hello, Callum?” The distinctive voice rang into the room.

“Val?” Cal’s face drained of colour, “Shit.”

He ran his hands through his hair, “I was meant to meet them for breakfast.”

“It's me. When you didn’t turn up for breakfast I enquired at the front desk. Angus was just leaving and he told me that you’ve put your back out. He gave me a key for the room.”

Jess could hear the sound of MacTavish’s cage being opened and the excited barks of the little dog as he greeted Val.

“Edward has gone down to the village to do some shopping so I thought I’d bring you up a tray,” Val called through.

“I can keep you company while you eat. You poor thing. It must be awful not being able to move.”

Cal tried to prop himself up higher in bed and winced as the pain hit him.

“Erm, thanks Val. Give me a minute.”

Looking back at Jess he whispered, “God, she’s going to think we slept together.” He shook his head slightly, “I mean I know we slept in the same bed together; she’s going to think we had sex. She’s going to think we lied to her about being a couple.”

“I brought some breakfast for Jess as well but it looks like I’ve missed her.”

Would Val believe that they shared a bed because the couch was uncomfortable? She doubted it.

Jess thought quickly, “No, Val, I'm still here. I’m in the bedroom helping Cal at the moment. We'll both be out soon. Thanks.”

“Oh!” Val failed to hide the surprise in her voice, “Very well, I’ll wait out here for you both ... unless I can help with anything?”

“No,” they both chorused. “We’re good thanks.”

Jess turned to Cal, “Do you need me to help you get dressed?”

Cal moved the covers aside and slowly swivelled his body around so that he was now sitting at the side of the bed.

Jess gulped. He was wearing a pair of black boxers…and that was all. God, he looked like a cover model for GQ Magazine. It amazed her that he seemed completely unaware of how attractive he was.

“I managed to shake my jeans off last night but I don't think there’s any chance I can bend over to pull them on. If you can get them on up past my knees then I should manage from there.”

After a bit of a struggle Jess had Cal fully dressed.

“I really owe you one,” Cal flashed Jess a bashful smile which somehow made him more adorable.

“I’ll help you out to the dining table.”

Cal shook his head, “The combo of painkillers and a decent night's rest has done me good. I reckon I’ll be ok walking.”

Jess watched Cal cling to the furniture as he slowly made his way across the room. He turned to her, “I’ll let you get dressed. Don’t feel obligated to stay for breakfast by the way.”

She sat for a moment trying to digest what he had just said. Did he not want her to stay or was he simply trying to be mindful and offer her a way out if she wasn’t comfortable staying?

Jess dressed quickly then stood frozen at the door. Why did she feel like she was doing the walk of shame when nothing had actually happened? She took a deep breath and plastered a big fake smile on her face as she opened the door.

“Hi Val, thanks for bringing breakfast up,” Jess stood awkwardly at the table, trying to catch Cal’s eyes to see if he would give her any kind of sign as to whether he wanted her to stay or not.

“Sit down Jess,” Val patted the seat next to her, “I hope you like croissants? There’s jam and butter over there.”

“Thanks,” smiled Jess.

“What are your plans for the day, Cal?” enquired Val.

Jess reached for the jam and her finger lightly grazed Cal’s hand. They locked eyes and he gave a weak smile.

“I’m pretty much trapped in here for the day,” replied Cal.

“Do you fancy helping me set up some social media accounts for the boat race?” asked Jess.

“The boat race?” enquired Val. “What boat race?”

Jess explained what they had planned, “We’re reinstating the event.

It used to take place every year on the loch.

People dress up and row the length of the loch.

We’ve made up sponsorship forms so they can raise money for charity.

After the race there’ll be a procession up to the hotel where we’re going to hold a dinner and a ceilidh. ”

“What a wonderful idea,” exclaimed Val, “Lainey would have loved that, don’t you think?” She turned to Cal.

Cal swallowed hard and nodded mutely.

He stared resolutely down at his coffee cup, “She would probably have dressed as some kind of endangered waterfowl,” he huffed out a dry laugh.

Val smiled, “She was such an eco-warrior. She would have made sure the boat was adorned with messages about protecting the environment.”

“Why don’t we suggest the hedgehog Sanctuary as our charity of choice in Lainey’s memory?” suggested Jess.

Val’s eyes brimmed with tears.

The words had left Jess’ mouth before she really had time to think, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

Val leaned over and squeezed Jess’ hand, “Jess, that would mean the world to us. Lainey dreamed of helping the planet but she was taken from it so quickly that she barely got a chance to start.”

The tears were flowing freely down Val’s cheeks now. She dabbed at them with her napkin.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to put a damper on breakfast,” she looked at her watch, “oh gosh, is that the time? I said I’d meet Edward for a walk around the gardens.”

She stood quickly and started to gather the breakfast items onto the tray. Her hands trembled causing the cups to clank against each other.

Jess placed her hand gently on Val’s arm, “Please let me. I’ll take the tray downstairs. You had better be off. You don’t want to keep Edward waiting.”

Val flashed her a grateful smile, “Thank you.”

“In fact, I’ll drop the tray off and take MacTavish out for his morning walk, the poor wee guy looks like he’s desperate to get out.”

When Jess and MacTavish returned to the room the little dog ran over to greet his owner. Cal had managed to make his way to the sofa and was scrolling through his phone. He looked up at her with a smirk.

“You must really care about me”

“Huh?”

“You left A LOT of missed calls last night.”

“Dawn called you too,” said Jess defensively, she could feel the heat creep into her cheeks.

“Not as many times as you,” grinned Cal.

His brow turned down in a mock frown, “Actually, I need to speak to Dawn about that. She’s supposed to be my best friend.”

Jess laughed, “Right enough of the blethering. We need to get to work.”

The morning flew by and after a few hours on the laptop Jess felt confident that they had put together some good posts that would attract a wide audience. She closed the lid of the laptop and turned to Cal.

Her thoughts lingered on her conversation with Val over breakfast. Cal had remained staunchly quiet during the interaction.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he replied as he closed the lid of his laptop.

“Did I upset you when I suggested we raise money in memory of Lainey?”

“What? No,” replied Cal with a hint of shock in his voice. “Why would you think that?”

Jess sighed, “You told me you don’t like to talk about Lainey, you prefer to suffer in silence. I was worried that by putting her name on the sponsorship forms you’ll be forced into a position where people want to ask you about her.”

“Lainey needs to be remembered,” said Cal quietly. “People need to know how good she was.”

He was staring off into the distance. She wasn’t sure he was even aware she was there anymore. He spoke more to himself than to her.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” asked Jess.

Cal raised his head when she spoke. A look of mild surprise crossed his face as if he hadn’t realised, he'd spoken out loud.

He sighed, “Every year Val and Edward come to lay flowers where Lainey died. They ask me to come and I say no.”

His head dropped and he took a deep breath before he spoke, “They don’t know the truth.”

“The truth?” asked Jess.

He ran his hand over his stubble, “I lied to them.”

“About what?” asked Jess softly.

“About the day their daughter died,” replied Cal. The words came out as if it pained him to speak them aloud.

“Why?” was all Jess could manage.

He turned to her. The pain in his eyes was so intense. She sucked in a breath. It hurt just to look at him.

“Do you remember the night we went to the loch? I taught you to skim stones?”

“Yes.”

“You asked me if I had ever been cheated on and I said I didn’t know because I couldn’t ask the person.”

“Hmhm,” gulped Jess.

“I was talking about Lainey.”

He rubbed at his jaw, “In the weeks leading up to her death she was acting strange. It was hard to put my finger on it at the time, but Jess, I knew my wife inside out and I knew something was off.”

Jess nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“She was spending more and more time away from the house and was secretive about where she was going. I asked her if she was ok. She said everything was fine and that I needed to trust her. I did trust her.”

He gave her a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“People talk. It’s a small village and villagers like to gossip.

Rumours spread quickly. I was told by numerous sources that she was spending a lot of time with Jack.

Jack was Olivia’s partner. It wasn’t unusual for her to spend time with Jack.

The four of us were really close. We hung out all the time; but usually as a four.

Like I said before, I trusted my wife. The rumours didn’t bother me but I was worried about her.

I didn’t believe she was having an affair but I was sure she was lying to me about something. ”

MacTavish curled up between them on the sofa and Jess watched as Cal absentmindedly played with the tag on his dog's collar.

“Lainey told me she was going to stay the night with her sister in Edinburgh. They planned to go shopping the next day. We kissed, told each other “I love you” and she drove to Edinburgh that evening. Or so I thought.”

“At 9am the next morning two police officers turned up here and told me that Lainey was no longer alive.”

Silence again. As if the pain had rendered him speechless.

Eventually he carried on.

“They told me that she had been crossing a road outside a hotel. A hotel on the outskirts of Aberfeldy.”

Cal glanced at her and added, “Aberfeldy is 75 miles away from Edinburgh.”

“Apparently, she was walking on a country road with no pavements. A vehicle rounded the corner and killed her instantly. It was a hit and run.”

He let out a humourless laugh.

“At first, I was relieved. I told them they had got the wrong person. My wife was in Edinburgh. I tried to prove it to them by phoning her. I called and called, left message after message.”

He gave a light shake of his head.

“The police officers stopped me. They showed me her driving licence. They said that the woman who had died was the same woman on the licence. They described her car. It had been parked in the hotel car park. Everything matched up but I still wouldn’t believe them.

I couldn’t fathom why Lainey would be at a hotel in Aberfeldy. ”

“I’ll never forget the look of pity on the police officer’s face as they then awkwardly informed me that the gentleman she had been with, a Mr Jack Dawson had also been hit but had not died from his injuries.

He was in an induced coma. His injuries were described as ‘critical but stable.’ Jack and Lainey had arrived at the hotel together, both stayed the night there, both lied about where they were. ”

Cal rubbed at his temples.

“Telling Lainey’s parents that their daughter had died is the most awful thing I have ever had to do.

They asked me what had happened and I froze.

Was I meant to tell them she was having an affair and got knocked down when she was walking across the road with her lover?

I didn’t want to taint their memory of her. ”

His head dropped to his hands. “They lay flowers in the wrong place every year.”

His voice was quiet, “The signs all indicate that they were having an affair, there’s no other explanation but I still can’t believe it. Lainey wouldn’t… ”

“Did Olivia’s partner live?” asked Jess.

Cal's face darkened, “Yeah Jack lived.”

“Have you spoken to him since?”

The softness in Cal’s eyes disappeared and anger glinted in its place, “Nope.”

“It might be helpful. It could give you answers,” suggested Jess softly.

“I don’t want answers,” Cal’s voice was rough.

Agitated, he attempted to stand up but winced in pain and sat back down again, “Don’t you see Jess, right now Lainey is safe inside my mind. I see the woman who I loved with every fibre of my being.”

He was blinking back tears now; the anger giving way to misery.

“But if I speak to Jack and he confirms that she was cheating on me, then it will destroy my last piece of her. What will I see after that? I won’t know what parts of her were real and which bits were lies.

I refuse to risk that.” His shoulders heaved as grief engulfed him.

Jess approached him and gently placed her arms around him. She felt his body relax as he sobbed into her hair.

“I understand Cal,” she whispered.