Page 21

Chapter twenty

Fhord

I'll Miss You

“P eople are coming this way,” Sifa hisses at me. “Did you bring them here?”

My mind spins as I watch her eyes narrow in accusation, and then grow wide, the pain stark in their depths. Her back stiffens as she turns to look at Astarot. When she turns to me again, she droops, as if the air’s been sucked out of her.

She thinks I’ve betrayed her, just as she trusted me with her greatest secret. The secret that could get her killed.

She knows as well as I do they must have followed me. There’s no way they could have found us on their own, showing up minutes after I arrived. They must have seen me on my trip back, leading a saddled horse with no fucking rider. Like a gods-damned idiot. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about Sifa, I didn’t even think about how that would look. I let my guard down and led them here.

Tindera’s going to kill me. If Sifa doesn’t kill me first. Or Astarot.

I need to get them the fuck out of this.

“Not on purpose,” I whisper, my hand reaching out as I watch her flinch away. “They must have tracked me.”

“You?” she demands, her voice low but strident. Accusing. “You’re a dragon rider, one of the Dróttning’s chosen. You know this land, what to expect of her soldiers, better than I ever could.” She pauses, her eyes flashing. “You know how to avoid them but let them follow you here.” Now, Sifa sucks in a deep breath, her gaze flitting around the cave as she searches for … something. There’s only one escape, though.

“Let me get you out of this. They don’t know you’re here yet. I’ll take Hilde and lead them away and then you and Astarot can escape.” That’s our only option. It needs to work.

Sifa spins to look at Astarot. She shakes her head once, and again. Finally, she nods. Reluctantly.

“Astarot thinks we need to trust you. You’re right, we have no choice. This is your chance to prove you didn’t betray us. They’re half a viku north of here. Lead them away. And then stay away. We’ll find someplace to hide.” Turning, she starts to throw supplies into a bag.

“Look at me, rabbit.”

“Don’t call me that.” Her voice is angry, defensive.

“Look at me, Sifa.”

She stills for a moment, her hands hovering in front of her, before she lets out a deep sigh. Setting down the food she’d picked up, she wraps her arms around her stomach, inhales slowly, and turns toward me.

She’s everything I need, all I’ll ever want. My heart is cracking because I’ve broken hers. I need to make this right.

“I swear to you I didn’t do this on purpose,” I whisper, my heart in my words. “I would never hurt you intentionally. I care too much about you to do that.”

Her shoulders soften as her hands unwind from around her and find her thighs. “I believe you,” she whispers. “You feel this … thing … between us too. It doesn’t matter, though. Even if we can get away from here, this just proves we can’t be safe together. For both of our sakes, for our dragons’ sakes, we need to stay away from each other.”

She’s right, and it kills me. My savage is roaring at me because he knows he’s lost. She’ll never be ours.

“Give me at least a half hour to draw them away … or kill them,” I tell her as I grab Hilde’s reins and then stride toward Sigurd. “When you leave, head southeast, where the forest is deepest. You’ll find cover and food there. You should be safe until Astarot’s fully healed.” Mounting, I pause to hold her eyes one last time. “I’ll miss you, my little rabbit.”

The look she gives me is deep with grief. “I’ll miss you too, Fhord.” She pauses, the corners of her lips ticking up as she watches me. “Maybe I’m a fool,” she says after a moment, “but I have no regrets.”

I nod, struggling to stop myself from dropping from the saddle and taking one last kiss from her. Tasting her lips one more time. And then I turn and go. Because if I touch her again, my savage may not let me leave.

Turning to the west—to approach them from a different direction than the cave—I push Sigurd and Hilde to run as fast as they can. I need to get far enough away to convince them I came from that direction and then intercept them before they get to the cave. I don’t know if I’ll make it.

I’m circling back in the direction of Sifa and Astarot when I sense two guards. They’re riding slowly, as if they’re following a trail they keep losing. The trail I left, fucking idiot that I am. I get close enough for our paths to cross and then lift my hood and slow down, trying my best to make our meeting look accidental. I don’t want to be recognized, but I’ll use my dragon’s name if I must to get rid of them.

“What are you doing out here?” I demand in my most derisive tone when I catch sight of the guards. Spurring Sigurd forward, I plant myself in their path, forcing them to yank back on their horses’ reins.

“We come on the Dróttning’s business,” the closest man exclaims, his right hand moving to his sword hilt. “Step aside.”

I hate meeting the Dróttning’s guards on horseback. If I were on Tindera, they’d show me the proper respect.

“Fools,” I spit at them. “You’re wasting my time. I’m on the Dróttning’s business, searching for the prisoner and the traitor who helped her escape. I found this horse north of here”—beckoning with a dismissive wave of my hand—“and have been leading the old nag around for hours, hoping she might give me a clue about her master.”

“How do we know you’re not in league with them?” The larger guard is holding his ground, even as the other one tugs on his reins to pull his horse away from me.

He’s brave. I’ll give him that. Better men than him have withered under my gaze. But the last thing I need right now is a guard trying to make a name for himself. Tossing my hood back, I sneer at him. “Do you know who I am?” I demand, my words brittle.

He watches me for a moment before his eyes widen. “You ride Tindera.”

“I do.” I let the words sit between us.

“Where is your mount?” he asks after a few seconds of silence.

Fucker. Now I wish I could kill the inquisitive bastard. I let my anger twist my features and snarl out the next words. “If you truly are the Dróttning’s guards, you know those who ride horses do not challenge dragon riders. Ever.”

The big guy doesn’t like my attitude, but I don’t give a fuck. He’s a peon. He doesn’t get to question me. I don’t really want to kill them, but I will if that’s what it takes to protect Sifa and Astarot.

“Apologies, dragon rider,” the smaller guard offers. “Shall we aid you in your search? We were just about to follow the footsteps in that direction.” He lifts his hand and points his finger almost directly toward the cave holding Sifa and Astarot. Fuck.

“Is everyone in this Nest as simple as you two?” I bark at them, letting my frustration show. “Those footsteps are mine. I already looked there.” Now it’s my turn to point. “Go north,” I tell them. “Scour the forest between here and the Nest.”

The large guard isn’t ready to give up yet, though. I watch his chest puff up as he prepares himself to challenge me. “We must search that area before we leave. The footsteps lead there.”

“Of course they fucking do,” I explode, “because I made them when I searched that area.” Nudging Sigurd, I stalk forward, straightening my back so he’ll be forced to look up. “My dragon recovers from an injury. But she’ll be well soon. Shall I tell her you angered me?”

That does the trick. The guard swallows as his head spins to look in the direction I pointed. He nods then turns back to me. “We will head north as you wish,” he concedes. “Good luck in your searches.”

“For the Dróttning,” I intone, inclining my head slightly. They’d expect the standard salutation if I were on the Dróttning’s business.

“For the Dróttning,” they respond.

I watch them for a few minutes before resigning myself to following. I want to go back to Sifa and Astarot. Convince them I didn’t betray their trust. Make sure Sifa knows she could be a troll and I’d still want her in my bed. But that would be even worse than leading the guards here the first time. I need to confirm they’re truly gone before I even consider following Sifa into the trees.

The forest is too quiet around me, even the animals holding back their chatter. Sigurd and Hilde play their part, their hooves barely disturbing the ground beneath us as we sneak after the guards. Only my thoughts, dark and angry, disturb my reverie.

Twice, I let myself get close to the guards, their bitter chatter breaking through the silence around me. The large guard is offended, more frustrated than he should be. I wonder if he came from a powerful family but was passed over as a hatchling candidate. He acts like someone who has wielded authority in his life. Being forced to ride horses when you crave the bond with a dragon has turned many a human bitter and cruel.

After two hours of trailing them, I’m comfortable they won’t turn around. They’re still complaining about me but say nothing to suggest they’ll disobey my command that they travel north. So I let them go, turning the horses to retrace our steps. And find Sifa.

I can’t leave while this accusation hangs between us. I need her to understand. To believe me. And then I’ll disappear from her life, let her find safety with her dragon.

I let my thoughts run free for the first few hours, imagining a life with my little rabbit. Another world, where elves roam freely and we don’t have to run away from our mating bond. Where dragons choose their riders and their mates.

Where the Dróttning doesn’t exist.

I almost can see it. The land we’d claim to give Tindera and Astarot all the fields and streams and mountains they could want. And goats. Lots of goats for Tindera. She’s always loved a fat goat.

Toffer’s probably with us. Sifa’s attachment to the troll grates on me, but I won’t stand between them. We’ll bring along the cat and any other strays Sifa may find. Because that’s who she is, and I wouldn’t change any part of her.

We’re on our dragons returning from some trip or another and Sifa turns to smile at me as she catches sight of our home, the sun filtering through the trees to cast it in dancing shadows. Our children emerge as the dragons touch down, running toward us while Toffer watches from the door. They take after their mother, lucky bastards, nearly as beautiful as her.

My little rabbit takes them in her arms and then looks back at me, her eyes bright with love.

My savage is soothed, content for the first time in my long life.

But it’s just a dream. I shake my head, breaking out of the fantasy I’ve wallowed in for too long.

I’m going to Sifa because I can’t let her believe I would betray her. I need her to know I’m committed to her safety. Even though we can’t be together. Because that hasn’t changed. I would never ask Tindera to make the sacrifice it would require. Especially now that she’s found Astarot. I won’t exchange my suffering for hers.

The sun’s nearly reached the horizon when I catch the first hints of her presence. Something within me calms, a flutter that started when Sifa left me finally finding rest.

My senses, which have spent hours searching for her, find other sounds and smells and sights to enjoy. The gurgle of a nearby creek, waves and splashes rising and falling as the water whispers past. The pine that tickles at my nose as I ride deeper into the trees, dredging up memories of winter nights as a child, playing in front of the fire. The shadows that reach all around me, hiding leaves and needles that cushion the ground.

Leaving the trees, I enter a clearing, dark granite mountains reaching into the sky ahead of me, and relax even more when I see her walking next to Astarot. He’s come so far in just a few days. He’ll be able to extend his wings and fly soon. He can take Sifa someplace safe. They’ll figure out the rest later.

“I know you’re there, Fhord,” she says after a moment, spinning around to glare at me. “You were supposed to go away. And stay away. What if you’ve led the guards back to us?”

I tug on Sigurd’s reins, keeping my distance as I drink in the view of her. Her hands rest on her hips, emphasizing their perfect shape, leading to long legs and a foot tapping her displeasure. I can’t hold back my smile as my gaze follows her curves back up and finds her nipples stretching through the thin blouse she’s wearing. With her head cocked to one side—her neck in exactly the right position to be nuzzled and teased—she’s the sexiest female I’ve ever seen. I’m fucking hard just thinking about tasting her again.

And she’s pissed. I’m gonna need to grovel. A lot.

“I got sloppy. I can’t get you the fuck out of my mind. I wasn’t paying attention because I see you everywhere I look. All the time. I fucked up.”

Her foot stops tapping, but she’s still clinging to her hips like she has to stop herself from stalking over and punching me. Or kissing me. I hope to fuck it’s the latter.

“I was careful this time. I ordered them back to the Nest and followed to make sure they went. But I couldn’t leave you like this. You need to know I’d never betray you. I would never hurt you.”

My breath catches in my throat, a gods-damned vise holding it there as I wait for her response. I need her to forgive me. To trust me.

Finally, her arms drop to her sides. We exhale, a slow release, at the same time.

“We can’t do this, Fhord. We have to stay away from each other. You’re just making it harder.”

I glance down at my raging erection and then lift my eyes again, my lips curling a bit. “You make everything harder, too,” I rumble. My gaze drops to linger on her chest, those beautiful nipples punching through her thin shirt, and then drags up to watch her, making sure she sees my grin. “You missed me. You’re glad I’m here.”

Even from this distance, I can tell she’s fighting her own smile. She wants this as much as me. But she can’t give in yet.

“Arrogant as ever, I see.”

“Confident.” I nudge Sigurd into a slow walk toward her. “About you.”

“What am I going to do with you?” She tries to inject frustration into her tone, but I can tell it’s an act. She’s struggling to keep the corners of her lips from tipping up even farther.

“What do you want to do with me, little rabbit? Or maybe the question is what am I going to do with you? I have my own ideas but I’m always open to suggestions. Or requests.”

“Maybe Astarot should teach you a lesson,” she suggests as I pull myself even with her dragon. He lets out a noncommittal grunt, probably unwilling to anger his draikana this early in their bond.

I drop from Sigurd, halving the distance between Sifa and me. “I’d suggest that Tindera teach you a lesson, but I want that honor for myself. Should I spank you first?”

“Only if you want to be gutted.” Sifa’s whisper winds its way inside me, sparking flares everywhere it touches. My cock responds like it always does, twitching as it tries to draw her attention. I have to stop myself from reaching for it.

Sifa roves her gaze down my chest, slowly, as she confirms how much control she wields over my body.

“Okay. No spanking … yet,” I rasp. “But you haven’t told me what you want to do to me. Or, better yet, what you want me to do to you.” One more step and I’ve closed the distance between us. My hand is on her cheek as she lifts her eyes to mine. Dropping my lips to her ear, I whisper, “What should I do to you, little rabbit?”

“Do you need instructions in every part of your life?” Sifa’s husky chuckle sends another jolt of lust through me. “Or just the bedroom?”

“We’ll experiment?” I muse. One of my thumbs drops to tug on her bottom lip as I savor the feel of her skin. “I can’t wait to discover all the ways I can make you scream. And beg.”

Sifa’s fingers reach up to dig into my hair, pulling me down to her. And our lips meet. This kiss is hungry, desperate, searching for the connection we’ve denied ourselves too long. Her tongue sweeps in, tasting me as mine dances with hers. There is only us. The rest of the world stops as I let myself get lost in my mate.

Her hands drop to yank up my shirt, lifting it over my head. I suck in a breath as her lips find my chest, fluttering over my tattoos as she explores me for the first time. Inhaling her lavender and rosemary scent, my lips trail down her neck as my hands reach under her blouse to unhook the band around her breasts, dropping it to the ground. Her nipples press against my chest through her blouse and it takes all my restraint to stop myself from stripping her bare and sinking into her.

And then she’s wrapping her arms around me to pull me close. My engorged cock literally trembles—the first time the bastard has done anything like that—as her hip grinds into it. Heat flows through me in waves, every part of my body hyper-sensitive. I reach for her breasts, rolling the nipples between my thumbs and fingers as she melts against me and sighs.

I’ve never heard a more beautiful sound in my life.

Astarot’s roar rips through us, anger and pain and frustration echoing all around.

“I knew it.” The large guard’s voice floats toward me, bitter and cold. “Gods-damned dragon riders, always pushing us around. Not this time.”

My gaze holds Sifa’s for a moment as my thoughts splinter. She doesn’t have to say the words. Astarot’s yell, her expression, tell me everything. They’ve captured Astarot. Dragon hunters always carry the nets that give them control over rebellious beasts. The next one is aimed to trap Sifa and me. And then the Dróttning will execute Sifa. And the ?tt. And maybe our dragons.

She won’t kill me—I think—but she’ll fuck me up. Our relationship won’t be enough to save me from the pain the Dróttning will rain down on me. It’ll be months, maybe years, before I’m free again.

There’s only one thing I can do.

“Fucking bitch,” I growl as one of my hands reaches for Sifa’s hair, the other wrapping around her throat. “If you hadn’t put up such a fight, I’d have been done with you by now.”

And then I turn to the guards, making sure they see my anger.