Page 12

Chapter eleven

Fhord

I Didn't Have a Choice

W hat the fuck was I thinking?

My dick twitches when she sneezes. Every single thing she does turns me on. I’m in a constant battle to stop my savage from declaring his need for her. From claiming her as mine. From finally satisfying our fucked-up mating bond.

Fuck yes, I was going to burst when I pulled her next to me. When I tucked Sifa’s tight, beautiful ass right next to the most demanding part of me. That has been demanding her since our eyes first met.

And there’s no way my savage could relax once her breaths, her heartbeat, synched with mine. When we laid there together, not an inch of space between us.

I didn’t have a choice—they would have seen us if I hadn’t pulled her to the ground—but I didn’t think I’d lose it as fast as I did. I thought I’d have some control over my cock.

Nope. Sifa is my weakness. Even if she drives me absolutely crazy.

I shouldn’t have snapped at her when she sat up. But she looked so fucking good, the sun throwing speckles on her skin, her eyes bright and full of questions. I was about to lose it. Pull her down, and take her then and there. I needed her away from me before I abandoned everything I know is right. And wrong.

She knows what I did when she left. But what else could I do? If I hadn’t, I’d have been trapped in that clearing until I did. Thinking about the feel of her ass riding my cock the whole time. About what it would be like to be inside her, to fill her up as I claim her as mine.

Gods. I need to get my shit together .

She smiled when I made it out of the brush, and I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to strangle her or go jack off one more time for good measure. I didn’t do either. Instead, I bit her head off again. I can’t stay away from her, so I need to keep her away from me. Now she’s pissed, but that’s better than us getting along. Because I can’t trust myself when she’s nearby.

The gods-damned problem is that now I’ve touched her. And with a mating bond, that changes everything. The draw to be together is stronger, our resistance weaker, after our bodies have connected. My resolve cracked when she woke me with her screams last night, but this could shatter it. It’ll be so much tougher now to push away from each other, especially with my savage demanding more of our mate’s touch. I don’t know if we’ll be able to.

“I need to bathe.” I almost jump in my saddle as her voice pulls me out of my thoughts. She’s snuck up on me somehow. I really need to get my shit together.

“We’re traveling,” I remind her as I drag a hand through my hair. “We don’t take baths.”

“Not an actual bath. A lake; maybe a river or stream. Even a creek. I’m sweaty and sticky, and I stink.”

I have to share a tent with her tonight.

Not that the smell would discourage anything. It might make it harder. Everything would be harder.

I need a cold bath too.

“There’s a lake ahead. I’d hoped to get past it today, but we can stop there for the night.”

“Will we risk being found?”

“I know where to go for privacy. We’ll be safe.” I make the mistake of turning to glance at her and am not surprised when my heart pauses for a beat. And my cock lurches. Traitorous things.

The sun is dropping toward the horizon as we near the final bend before the lake. I want nothing more than to watch Sifa’s face when she sees the lake for the first time. I’ve been here before, and I carry its image with me. The deep sapphire water, rippling with life. The meadows that surround so much of it, their emerald and sage grass dancing with the breeze. The trees that stand tall and proud all around.

I don’t stop myself. As we near the turn, I glance at Sifa. Her look is everything I’d hoped for. She tugs on Hilde’s reins, drawing her to a stop. And she sits there, barely breathing, as she takes it all in, a hint of a smile on her face. I wish I could see her eyes. But then she’d know that I’d rather look at her than the prettiest lake in all of Vanatia.

As if reading my mind, though, she turns, her grin growing wider. Her eyes are rich with emotion. And my fucking cock twitches again. Bastard. I’m just gonna ignore all its random little outbursts.

“It’s enchanting. I’ve never seen a prettier lake.”

“I also have never seen anything prettier.” The words spill out before I can stop them, my gaze still holding hers. “My little rabbit,” slips out to join my treacherous blathering, filling the air between us as I try—and fail—to wrest my eyes away.

Gods. I am so fucking weak.

Sifa’s eyebrow cocks up, a silent request for an explanation.

“It was our first meal together in relative peace,” I remind her, giving in for a moment to the need to get closer to her. When the question remains in her eyes, I add, “You are soft but not weak, and as quirky, cute and smart as the bunnies I raised as a child.” The corners of my lips lift as I consider the real reason: just being near her makes me want to fuck like rabbits. Everywhere. All the time. And she’d be so fucking delicious, wet and slick under my tongue.

Not that I’ll ever find out.

I sigh as I admit one more thing to myself.

As fucked up as this mating bond is, the fates are right.

It’s only been a few days, but I already know that my little rabbit is my mate for life. My perfect match.

It will always be her.

Only ever her.

She watches me for a moment, quiet and solemn. And then she shakes her head, a teasing smile tipping up her lips. “You’re an odd man, Fhord. I don’t know what to think about you sometimes.”

I wrest some semblance of control back from the savage. “Best if you don’t think of me at all,” I force out, my voice as flat as I can make it. “You clean up first. I’ll set up the tent.”

“Thank the gods. I didn’t want to have to fight you for it.”

And then the savage takes over again. Because my control sits on a thin ledge, being constantly tugged between my brain and my boner. “The next time our bodies touch, rabbit , it won’t be to fight.”

I can’t hold back the grin as her lips tip up at the edges and she shakes her head again. “So, so odd,” she says as she nudges Hilde into a trot and leads the way toward the lake.

“So, so dangerous,” I whisper, dragging my eyes away from the ass that tempts me far more than it should.

As I start unpacking our gear, my mind replays the day. The feel of Sifa next to me. I cannot keep my thoughts away from the fact that Sifa is bathing. Naked. Her body dropping into the lake, soap in her hands moving over every part of her, touching the places that should be mine. I imagine myself stripping down to join her, taking the bar from her hand and worshiping her body.

I’m not surprised at all when my legs carry me to the water. I do have the presence of mind to stop before I get too close. To hide from her as my eyes search. To slow down my breaths so she doesn’t hear my excitement. My need.

When I find her, I’m relieved. She’s fully submerged, only her head above the water. If I’d actually seen her nude skin, the breasts that have dominated my dreams since the first time I saw her, I might not have been able to stop myself. And we don’t want to do that to her , I remind my savage. She’s not ours. She can’t be.

“I know you’re there, Fhord.” Sifa’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. She’s laughing at me.

“I need to wash too,” I remind her, struggling to keep emotion out of my words.

“It’s a big lake. There’s room for two of us.” The teasing note in her voice draws me from my hiding spot.

Her eyes are on me as I emerge and walk toward the shore. I’m so close to giving in. Striding into the lake and letting her take my clothes off. Piece by piece. And then fucking her so hard she’d never be the same again.

But I’d never be the same again either. I’d lose too much.

I can’t do this.

“Hurry up,” I choke out, my voice tight. “I don’t want to be out here when the sun sets.”

Seconds pass as Sifa watches me, wordless. And then she lifts her hands to run them through her hair, a smile tipping up the edges of her lips. “Sure, Fhord,” she says at last. She drops fully into the water then rises enough to reveal part of her breasts, her nipples teasingly just under the surface. I can’t stop the sharp inhale she prompts. Or the erection.

“Just … hurry,” I snarl as I spin and almost run back to the tent, her giggle following me.

Now I really need a cold bath.

She strides into the camp a few minutes later. “Your turn,” she says as she strolls past me to sit by the fire. Her gaze finds the bulge in my pants, and a grin erupts as she looks up at me. “Take your time,” she adds with a smirk.

She’s really trying to drive me nuts, I decide a few minutes later as my hand moves up and down my engorged cock. The cold water didn’t do a thing to the demanding bastard. It wasn’t going to rest until it got some relief. I’m angry but so fucking turned on by Sifa’s teasing and taunting. She knows exactly what she’s doing and is having too much fun with it.

When I finally make it back to the tent, all of me relaxed at last, she’s digging through our supplies. She still wears an infuriating smile when she looks up at me. “What are you doing?” My voice is rougher than I’d like but gods-damned, she’s insufferable.

“I thought I’d get dinner started, but I can’t find a thing in here.” She drops the flap of the bag she’s rummaging through and steps back. “It’s all yours.”

“You’re looking in the wrong place.” I step toward her and immediately know I’ve fucked up. Again. Her scent washes over me. I never knew lavender and rosemary could be so sexy. It’s all I can do to keep my cock from rising again. Damn thing needs to settle the fuck down.

I’d intended to pull out what we’ll eat myself, but I need to focus on other things. I flick my wrist at her. “Food’s in there. We’ll rehydrate some mutton in a stew, then add some yams and beans I can forage nearby.”

She’s smiling again, her gaze dropping to my groin. “Trying to hold on there?”

“Only since you don’t want to,” I grunt at her.

Her laugh erupts from nowhere, whispering through me and somehow lifting my spirits. “So odd,” she repeats as she drops down and searches for the meat. She nods when she finds it, grabs a pan and takes off for the lake. The saunter is probably for my benefit, I realize, because of the perverse joy she’s taking in tormenting me. I try to ignore it as I stalk off in search of beans. And relief for the cock that’s demanding attention. Again.

This is going to be such a long trip.

At least she can cook. Dinner is better than I expected and I eat more than I should have. I lean back, staring up as I watch the stars and think about the next few days.

“Are you ready to stop pushing me away?” Sifa’s voice is light but layered with questions she doesn’t want to ask. At least, not yet.

I don’t look at her. Instead, I stare at the sky, focusing on the stars above. “We can’t be friends. Ever. You know that.”

“I don’t want your friendship. I hope I never see you again after this little adventure Bevin has sent us on. But you know as well as I do that we’ll have a better chance if we don’t hate each other.”

I sit for a long time, lost in the sky. The silence drags on but she’s patient, waiting for me to speak.

The thing is, I know she’s right. We’ll fail if we can’t rely on each other. Sighing, I drop my eyes toward hers. “I’ve been an ass.”

“Such an ass,” she affirms with another laugh that lightens my soul.

“If you knew why, you’d understand.”

“But you can’t tell me?” One of her eyebrows quirks in the most charming expression I’ve seen.

“I can’t.” I’m sure my smile reflects my regret as much as my eyes. “I would, though, if I could.”

“I have secrets too,” she points out. “We don’t have to get into those, now or ever. We just need to know enough to trust each other, at least a little.” One side of her lips tips up. “And stop being assholes.”

“I can’t promise anything. But I can try.” I lean forward. “Why did Bevin send you with me? What does he think you’ll provide?” I don’t think he knows about Sifa’s past—her time in the Nest when she landed in Vanatia—but I wouldn’t put anything past that wily, power-hungry bastard.

“First you’ve got to tell me what we’re doing. I know nothing right now.”

“Right,” I agree as my thoughts bounce through the things I can tell her, and those I can’t.

“What are we going to get?” she prompts.

“Not what. Who.”

Sifa’s eyes grow wide and then narrow dangerously. She’s angry. Really angry. “We’re going after a person? At the Nest?” she demands, her voice a whisper.

“Yes. We go to retrieve one of Bevin’s people. She got too close to someone and exposed herself as one of his spies. He wants her back.”

“Thyra? Bevin sent us to rescue Thyra?” Sifa was angry before. Now she’s furious. About to erupt.

“Yes, Thyra. Why are you so upset?”

“Why am I upset? How can you ask that? Thyra’s being held in the dragon Nest. Bevin expects us to break in and free her. And you don’t see anything wrong with that?”

“I didn’t say it would be easy.”

Sifa’s chest is heaving, her eyes starting to water. She shuts them and drops her chin, forcing her breaths to slow, her heart to calm. More than a minute passes as she sits motionless, regaining control of her emotions. Finally, she looks up, her eyes bright with the tears she refuses to shed.

“I don’t know if I can go there,” she whispers in a voice that quivers. Her hands flatten out on her pants and move up and down, perhaps trying to calm the knees that have started bouncing. “Bevin sent the wrong person.”

I should have known. I can’t tell her why I understand but I do. They tortured her for weeks. Who wouldn’t be afraid to go back?

“I can get us in and out without being caught. It’s why Bevin asked me to do this. You’re here to help get her out of the cage.”

“I know enough about the Nest to know how difficult it will be,” she scoffs. “I don’t think we can do this without being caught.” She leans forward, her gaze holding mine. “I can’t be found there.” Her words are sharp, intense.

“I won’t let them get you, Sifa.” Now I’m moving closer, reaching for her hand, my resolve to stay away shattered. Her skin is soft, comforting. “I can get us there and back without being caught.”

She doesn’t pull her hand from mine. I think the touch centers her as much as it does me. “We both know you can’t promise that.”

“I’ve done it twice,” I assure her. “I’ll get us into the Nest. I just don’t know if I can get Thyra out of her cage.”

Sifa takes a deep breath, her eyes never leaving mine. Finally, she dips her chin. “Tell me how you can be sure you’ll get us there safely.”

“Tindera was hatched in that Nest. She was … precocious.” I can’t hold back my smile. “When dragons fully bond with their riders, they share memories. I can see what a troublemaker she was.” I wink as I add, “Nearly as bad as my little rabbit.”

Sifa’s lips twitch up for a split second just before she drops her gaze to the ground. When she looks up, her eyes are a little clearer. “What would you do without a few females around to keep you on your toes?”

“Sleep a little better,” I respond with a laugh. “But you do make life more interesting.”

“I think you’d rather have interesting than sleep any day.” Her fingers squeeze mine. I know I should pull my hand away, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“She often strayed from the Nest, curious about the caves they’d set aside for the hatchlings. She wanted to see the sky, but dragons aren’t allowed such freedom until they’re fledglings.”

“Why?” Sifa shakes her head, her expression shifting to one of confusion.

“That’s a story for another day.” I don’t add the real reason—that it’s not something riders can share with those outside of dragon society. “Tindera spent a lot of time alone, searching for the stars. One night, she found a tunnel that carried her to them. It’s hidden well, and she never saw another soul use it.”

Sifa nods, knowledge filling her eyes. Maybe she used that tunnel for her own escape. It still doesn’t explain how she got out of her cage, but it’s one piece of information. “You’re sure we can get in and out through the tunnel?”

“Positive.” That much I know.

“But you may need help inside, diverting the guards, picking the lock?” Sifa’s head tilts to the side as she asks the question, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Yes, I’m hoping that’s why Bevin sent you. That your spying skills can get us through the guards and the door.”

“I may have a way to get Thyra out. If we get lucky. And what will you be doing while I’m taking care of that?”

“Beating the shit out of anyone who threatens you.” My tone is harsher than I intend.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Fhord.” Her voice is as soft as her eyes. Warm. Inviting.

This is why I pushed her away—why I manipulated her emotions when our paths first crossed, planting danger and a warning about me in her psyche. I know what a mating bond does. How hard it is to resist. We have to hate each other. There’s no other way.

Right now, though, I can’t hate Sifa. After we’re done, I’ll find those feelings again. Sitting here with her, the tension that’s been building within me since we met is finally starting to go away. My heartbeat is calm, measured. My savage is soothed. I need a few minutes of peace with my mate.

“I know you don’t.” I rub my thumb along the fingers I still hold. “I’m going to do it anyway.”

“Stubborn male.” I don’t miss the emotion in her tone. It washes over me in a wave, further settling the savage that craves this connection.

“You have no idea. The ?tt could tell you stories of the trouble my obstinacy has gotten us into over the years.”

“Not that I’ll ever see them again,” she reminds me. “Because we hate each other, and we’re going our separate ways when this is done?” It’s a question, not a statement.

There’s only one answer I can give.

“Maybe not hate. Not anymore. But we are going our separate ways when we’re done.”

Sifa pulls her hand from mine and lifts it to rest against my cheek. “I’m sorry I’ll never know your stories, Fhord.”

My hand moves up to cover hers. I wish I could hold it there forever. “I am too, Sifa.” I pause, resisting the urge to taste her lips. “I am too,” I add after a moment.

“Good night, Fhord.”

She stands, facing me as she stretches her back, lifting her arms high into the sky—because she’s not going to stop taunting me—and then smiles before she strolls toward the tent.

While I head into the forest to jack off.