Page 34

Chapter 34

RYLAN

E arly morning sunlight filters through my bedroom windows, catching on Jamie's blonde hair where his head rests on my chest. Everything feels soft and hazy with the afterglow. His mouth was so perfect on me just minutes ago, and I'm still floating in that space where nothing exists except us.

"Stop thinking so loud," Jamie mumbles against my skin, pressing a lazy kiss to my collarbone. "It's too early for your brain to be working this hard."

I run my fingers through his messy curls, allowing myself this moment of pure contentment. "Just wondering how you got so good at that."

He props himself up on one elbow, grinning. "Natural talent. Though I'm happy to demonstrate again if you need more evidence."

My phone buzzes on the nightstand before I can respond. I reach for it automatically - habit - then freeze when I see the caller ID.

"Declan Summers?" Jamie reads it upside down, his playful expression shifting to concern. "What does he want this early?"

Sports reporters don't call at 7 AM unless something's going on. My hand shakes as I answer.

"Collings."

"Rylan." Declan's voice is tight and professional. "Sorry to call so early, but... you need to hear this. I got a strange call last night. From Nathan Leblanc."

My blood runs cold. Jamie must see something in my face because he sits up, all traces of morning laziness gone.

"What kind of call?" I manage, proud of how steady my voice sounds.

"He claims he has..." Declan pauses, choosing his words carefully. "Compromising information about you and Pirelli. Says he saw something at the bar last night. He's shopping the story around."

The room spins slightly. Jamie's hand finds my shoulder, grounding me, but I barely feel it.

"Rylan?" Declan's voice softens. "I won't run with this. You know I don't out people. But... someone will. This kind of story, especially with you two playing like you have been lately... sex sells. And gay sex sells even better, as fucked up as that is."

I can't breathe. Can't think. Can't...

"Thanks for the heads up," I hear myself say, my voice on autopilot.

"Yeah." Declan sighs. "For what it's worth... I don't know if it's true or not, but either way, I'm sorry. People are dicks."

"Yeah, thanks," I say robotically, before ending the call.

The call ends. Jamie's still watching me, those blue eyes full of concern.

"Ry?" he says softly. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

But panic is already clawing up my throat, threatening to choke me. Everything we've built, everything we've carefully protected...

"Nathan Leblanc knows," I manage. "He called Declan, telling reporters he saw something between us. It's going to get out, Jamie. No matter what. Declan won't run with it, but someone will. Even if it's just some shitty blogger. "

Jamie's face goes pale. "What exactly did he see?"

"Does it matter?" My voice comes out harsh as I push myself up, needing to move. "He saw enough. That corner wasn't as dark as we thought, or maybe he followed us, or-"

"Hey." Jamie reaches for me, but I flinch away. Can't handle his touch right now. Not when everything's falling apart.

"We have to deny it," I say, pacing. My carefully organized bedroom suddenly feels too small, too exposed. "Say it's ridiculous, we're just teammates, that they're just targeting you because you're one of the few out players, and this is just like what happened in Fl—"

"Ry." Jamie's voice is so gentle it hurts. "Maybe... maybe this isn't the worst thing. Maybe it's time to-"

"Time to what?" I spin to face him. "Time to destroy everything I've built? Time to let my father find out from some trashy website that his only remaining family member is— ?" I cut myself off, unable to even say the fucking words. Motherfucker I'm a pathetic piece of shit. What a fucking coward.

"That's not-"

"You don't understand." My hands are shaking so hard I have to clench them into fists to stop it. "You're already out. You've dealt with this. But me? I'm the team captain. I have responsibilities. I can't—"

"I'll deny it," Jamie cuts in quietly. "If that's what you want. I'll say Nathan's lying, that nothing happened."

His simple offer breaks something in my chest. Because of course, Jamie would do that. Of course, he'd go back in the closet for me, hide what we have, and protect my carefully constructed walls even though it hurts him.

"Jamie..." My voice cracks.

"Hey." He stands, moving toward me slowly like I'm a spooked animal. "Whatever you need. We'll handle this however you want."

But I can see what it costs him to make that offer. Can see the hurt in his eyes.

"I can't—" My breath is coming too fast and the room is starting to spin. "I need to think. I need..."

"Okay, okay, it's going to be okay." He steps back. "What do you need from me?"

You , I want to say. Just you. Always you. But the words stick in my throat.

I collapse onto my bed, hunched over, my elbows on my knees, holding my head in my hands. Fuck, I need air. "I need... I can't..."

Understanding floods his face, followed quickly by raw pain before his eyes shutter. "Okay," he says again, but there's an edge to his voice. "I'll go."

I force myself to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry." I choke out, unable to come up with anything more meaningful to say.

I watch as he gathers his clothes, every movement careful and controlled like he's trying not to spook me further. At the door, he pauses.

"Just... remember you don't have to be alone anymore, Rylan."

I can't speak. Can barely breathe. He nods once when I don't respond, and then he's gone.

The quiet of my apartment closes in, suffocating me. I sink to the floor, back against my perfect, designer sofa, and try to remember how to breathe.