Page 12 of Ruthless Desires: Vol. One

“When you know, you know, I guess.” I shrug. “He’s really planning in advance, huh? That’s, like, six months away.”

“Yeah. He wants to have extra time to save up since she wants to have such a big wedding.” Adam rolls his eyes. “Like he needs to save up with the kind of money he makes.”

“Did he get a different job? Last I heard, he wasn’t making much at all.”

“Yeah, about a month ago. Practically doubled his salary by switching companies. Lucky motherfucker.”

“Damn,” I mutter. I don’t make much as a barista, but even doubling that amount would be helpful. Hell,anythingwould be helpful. We’re barely able to save anything up, and the urge to spend it all on something nice instead of keeping it for emergencies is strong.

“I’ll find something better than him, though. Getting close. I can feel it.”

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be better than Chad’s, does it? That job you interviewed for on Tuesday sounded good.”

More than good.From what Adam told me, it’s everything he’s been looking for. He was really excited when he listed off the pay and benefits he’d receive.

“It was all right, I suppose.”

“Oh hey, weren’t they supposed to get back to you by today?”

“They did. Offered me the job.” Adam looks out the window we’re sitting next to.

“What? Adam! That’samazing.Why didn’t you—”

“I turned them down.”

“What?”

“I turned them down,” he says, slowing his words and enunciating every syllable while giving me an annoyed look.

“But why? That would’ve been a huge pay raise for you!”

“Because I know what I’m worth, and it’s more than that.”

“You told me when you set up the interview that the salary was really good. Didn’t you say it was above market average?”

“Yeah, but I can do better.”

“Thatisbetter, Adam! We could really use the money.”

“Don’t worry about it, babe. I’ve got us, okay?” His smile holds more confidence than is warranted. He has no idea if he’ll find something else that good again, let alone soon.

I clench my fists under the table. Ever since Adam met Chad in college, it’s been like this. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other. Better car, better job, better apartment, better girlfriend. It’s ridiculous—and exhausting.

And destructive,the logical side of my brain whispers, but I do my best to shelve that thought for later. I really don’t want to fight again tonight. This is supposed to be a fun evening.

“Okay.” I fake a smile and grab a few more fries. Maybe a subject change is best. “I, um… I redesigned the covers of that fantasy series I told you about. The one I said will probably be my favorite of the year? And I found this Etsy shop that does book binding, so I could send them my paperbacks and the cover files, and they could turn them into really pretty hardcovers, and—”

“We don’t have the money for that, babe.”

“Yeah, I know.” My voice is small. “I… I didn’t mean for right now. Just sometime in the future, you know?”

He shrugs, his gaze not leaving his phone.

“I really like the designs I made. The covers on the books just aren’t really my style. I kept the same color schemes for each of them, but I completely changed them. Added some flowers and vines. Oh! And there’s a castle on one and—”

Adam doesn’t even look up from his phone when I stop talking. I bite my lip, trying to ignore the pain blooming in my chest. He used to be so attentive to me back when we first started dating. Now, sometimes it feels like he sees me as a chore.

“The covers are really pretty,” I say softly, mostly to myself. It took me hours to design them all. Even though they’re just for me, I wanted every detail to be perfect.