Page 96 of Running from Drac

“Eddie, I’m just saying—”

“Amber, I’m serious. I want this. If you want this too, then we can’t let the bad shit deter us from getting to that altar.”

“It’s a lot of bad shit, Eddie.”

“Yeah, I know, but overcoming it will only make us stronger.

Her eyes well with tears. “I guess I’m just afraid. What if it all blows up in our faces?”

“Then we pick out the shrapnel and keep going. It’s the only way, Amber. If we continue to let the bad shit get in the way, we won’t survive this.”

Before she can come at me with another reason why we shouldn’t get married tomorrow, I quickly scoop her off the ground, carrying her through my house wedding style until she’s been over the threshold of my bedroom.

“Eddie, what are you doing?”

Her laughter softens the ache in my chest, but not the guilt. That fucking guilt. It clings to me like heavy smoke, the kind that lingers in the air and silently chokes you. All I have to do is get her to that altar tomorrow, marry her, and then come clean. Once that ring is on her finger she can’t just run away.

Our eyes meet as her butt hits the bed, both of us knowing this is considered bad juju.

I’ve never been superstitious, so I just keep going, my hands trailing over the hills of her perky white breasts, ready to remove any clothing that stands in my way.

She doesn’t move.

Just stares.

Her eyes are wide with wonder, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. I see the flicker of fear still lingering. And I know she feels it too. The dread. The storm that’s brewing and won’t be stopped. The weight of it all… the pressure to smile when it’s the hardest expression to form without faking it.

“Eddie, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“It was Pippa,”my internal ramblings answer silently.

“Nothing.”

“You look tortured.”

Because I am. If only you knew.

“I’m fine.”

She frowns. “I don’t believe you.” She sits up on her elbows. “Talk to me, please,” she begs.

I am talking. I just can’t say the words out loud.

Her hand gently cups my face, forcing me to look deep into her blue eyes, getting lost in the unnatural shade of robin’s egg I’ve grown so used to.

I can’t lose this.

I can’t lose her.

“Talk to me, please. What’s going on in your head?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper as my demons goad me to fully confess.

“You’re not going to lose me, Eddie. Tomorrow I’ll be yours forever.”

I wish I could believe you.

“Stop doubting us.”