Page 140 of Running from Drac

My hair whips behind me as I stand on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a vast ocean that spans out before me. Somewhere on the other side of the horizon Eddie is waiting for me… or maybe he’s already moved on.

There’s a small fragment inside me that envisions him in a catatonic state, standing at the airport every time another plane comes in, hoping to God I’m on that flight. But I know that’s just wishful thinking.

Eddie will eventually move on.

Much like I have to right now.

I press my phone to my chest, eyes fixated on the horizon, my breath stalling as I take in the ambiance of the Mediterranean that sparkles like crushed sapphires underneath the Tuscan sun.

The phone rings for a final time.

His name illuminates the screen and pulses like my irregular heartbeat.

I don’t want to be found.

Not yet.

Hell, maybe not ever.

I’ve missed so many calls and texts from him and Poppy too. But none of them are answered, even when they were begging me to come home or call.

How can someone feel so lost and alone when everyone is clamoring for me to return? Because that’s what I feel every time this damn phone rings.

Lost…

Helpless…

Tethered to the past…

I’ve thrown up more times than I can count, depression eating me from the inside out. I only eat because Nonna Etti forces me, and even then, it’s bits and pieces.

I can’t continue living like this. The only way this will work is to cut myself off from everyone and everything.

The wind continues to play with my wild strands as I walk barefoot down the rocky path leading to the beach, the water lapping against the shore like it’s whispering secrets. My toes dip into the heated currents, heart twisting as I reach out to touch the horizon, wishing it was him.

“I have to let you go!” I shout, though I’m the only one who can hear me. “To truly move on, I need to fully detach. This is the only way,” I shout, though it’s softer and more vulnerable.

On the screen is a picture of me and Eddie. We’re both smiling—happy. How is it that one person can burn it all away? She’s a selfish whore who ruined everything we worked so hard to hold together, just because of her jealousy.

“All I hope is you find happiness,” I whisper, brushing my finger over his face. “I’ll never love anyone like I loved you, but the pain has to stop. I can’t continue living as an empty shell.”

Before I can rethink it, I chuck the phone as an offering to the depths of the ocean. It arcs through the air like a bird in flight before vanishing into the sea with a quiet splash.

No more missed calls.

No more ties.

They can live with their betrayal without me, because I’m no longer willing to hold on to the pieces of something that never deserved to be broken.

When I return, the sky’s dimmed to a neutral gold, and I find Nonna Etti pruning tomatoes in the garden. She looks up, her eyes narrowing as I walk toward her.

“You look different,” she states.

I smile. “Saltwater is more soothing than you think.”

She shakes her head, coming closer. Her gaze rakes over me before pressing a wrinkled hand to my cheek.

“It’s not the sea. It’s you, Amber.” Her tone shifts, turning curious. “You glow like a woman carrying new life.”