Page 35 of Rulebreaker (Gamebreakers #4)

Briar

“Briar and West sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n— ow!”

I react without really thinking, turning and punching my brother in the gut.

“Asshole,” I mutter as he grips his stomach and acts like my blow really hurt.

Spoiler alert–it didn’t.

It couldn’t.

Because Dash is a big lug with muscles upon muscles and I can’t possibly punch him hard enough to actually hurt.

West chuckles from next to me and I shiver–we’ve come close…oh so close to sleeping together.

The kisses. The touches. The way his big, strong body presses to mine.

Our last date turned into a sleepover…one I finally intended to take all the way.

But I wasn’t ready.

And he felt it, stopping me when I would have pushed through, gently cupping my cheek and telling me, “We have plenty of time.”

We do.

And we don’t.

Because we’re new, but I also know exactly how fragile life is.

Tonight especially, considering that we’re observing Colt’s birthday. Gone too soon, leaving a huge hole inside all of us.

So why have I been so hesitant with West?

With the men who came before.

Hell, who am I kidding? There weren’t any men between Frankie’s father and West. I was too heartbroken and too stressed with having a newborn and making a cross-country move and then starting a brand new job with Atlas’s company and knowing that I owed it to him to give him my absolute best effort.

Then Royal’s accident.

And Banks and Aspen.

And Dash’s injury.

And then…West with his sweet persistence, his patience, the first blip of attraction I’ve had to a man since–

I blink, shake myself.

Since Frankie’s father.

And my entire family found love, found their people–even Atlas, who was the most closed-off to love of all of us.

So there was no reason to keep West out.

Then once the door was cracked open, he slid right in behind my defenses.

It’s been a whirlwind where I’ve barely been able to think straight, so right at times that I’m certain I’ll be walking down the aisle and so wrong that I wonder if I should just end things right now and leave him to find a woman who isn’t as fucked up as I am.

Except…he keeps coming back, no matter how hard I push him away.

Patient and sweet and thoughtful.

And he’s a good kisser.

And…the fantasy I had as a twenty-one year old girl isn’t reality.

West is great, so fucking great that I know I should be thanking the universe that he’s in my orbit.

It’s just…

I can’t go back and even though the only man I’ve ever loved is dead and gone, I know that if I want to find happiness and companionship and love like my family has, that I have to allow myself to feel this.

To let go of the dream.

To accept that there may never be another man like Frankie’s father–

“Nice shot,” West murmurs and warmth slides me at the touch, at his smile.

“Four brothers means I know how to throw a punch,” I say lightly.

He laughs again, draws me closer to his side and I know.

Even though the thoughts are churning through me, heavy and swirling and threatening to drag me down, I know .

Because it’s Colt’s birthday. Because we’re celebrating–sans strippers, as used to be the guys’ typical modus operendi–but with good food and family and plenty of Gamebreakers, the drink that Colt himself came up with.

Because I finally make a decision.

I’m done with the past, done with holding on to something that can never be, done with being alone and single and living for work and Frankie.

I love both, so freaking much.

But I know I deserve to have more, to have what Banks and Aspen, Royal and Jade, Will and Dash, and Atlas and Lily have.

I deserve to be loved as much as I love everyone around me.

So, as I sip my Gamebreaker and lean into West’s side, listening to the guys talk about Colt’s shenanigans that seem to grow grander and bigger and more outrageous each and every year, I say goodbye.

To the past.

To the dreams of a little girl.

To the fantasy of it all working out with the man who gave me Frankie.

Through all the stories and the hilarity of my family, the easy way West has slotted into my life, I feel the weight that’s been sitting heavily on my chest for years slowly drift away.

And for the first time in a long time, I’m content.

Hopeful.

Looking forward to the future.

Aspen yawns, and I know by one look on Banks’s face that our celebration is going to be winding down.

Hell, considering the dark circles under Lily’s eyes–even though she’s the life of the party as always–and I’m surprised Atlas even let her come tonight.

And Jade, she’s pale and tired from “a long studio session,” but I’m not the only one who’s noticed that she hasn’t touched her Gamebreaker (or that Royal drank her previous one).

Willow is the only one of my friends who doesn’t look exhausted and she flicks her gaze to mine and grins, reading all the same things in the subtext as me.

And, yup, right on cue, Banks bundles Aspen up and guides her to the door, Royal and Jade, Lily and Atlas right behind them.

Willow, Dash, West, and I make sure the space isn’t a disaster for the cleaning crew in the morning and leave the now empty Sapphire Room, Dash punching in numbers on the keypad as we leave to set the alarm.

“You good?” I ask him softly, as he walks me to my car, West and Willow behind us, chatting easily.

He glances down at me and I brace for him to brush me off, to minimize what he’s feeling on this night, on the final hours of his best friend’s birthday.

But my brother surprises me by slinging an arm around my shoulders and drawing me close.

“Fucking miss him,” he mutters to the top of my head.

“I keep thinking it’ll get easier but though the pain is less acute, it never really goes away. ”

“I know it doesn’t.” I turn in his hold and wrap my arms around his middle. “But I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. And so damn glad you have Willow in your life.”

He pulls back and unlocks my car, but his eyes are soft. “I love you, Thorny.”

I wrinkle my nose at him. “I hate that nickname.”

One big shoulder lifts and falls. “Tough.”

“You poking the bear?” I warn. “After I was giving such good Sister?”

“Yup.” A tug of my hair. “Because that’s what brothers do.

” Then he sweeps me in a tight hug, mouth coming to my ear.

“And as much as it pains me to say–since I am your brother and want to murder any asshole who even thinks of touching you–but I’m damned glad you have West.” He pulls back. “He’s a good guy.”

“I know,” I say, and I mean it.

It’s why I’ve made decisions tonight, why although there’s a small part of me who’s sad, the rest of me is at peace.

It’s time to move on.

“I know you’re smarter than the rest of us so I don’t have to tell you not to fuck it up.”

I laugh softly. “Here’s hoping. ”

Then I say goodnight to him, to Willow, and watch as they get into their car and drive away. Only then do I turn to the man who’s sneakily slipped in past my defenses, the man I’ve made a promise to in my head tonight.

To be completely open to where things go.

He steps close, fingers trailing over my cheek, and when the touch makes me shiver, he draws me against his body, wraps me in the warmth of his arms. “You hanging in there?”

“I’m better when you hold me like this.”

He stills, then I get to see something beautiful.

Emotion in his gorgeous eyes, softness on his face. “God, I like you,” he murmurs, head dropping, lips finding mine.

I like him too.

So, so much.

So why does it feel like something’s missing?

Angrily, I shove the thoughts away, kiss him back.

But, as I’ve discovered with West, he’s too damned smart. So even though the kiss is good and hot and could definitely tempt me into forgetting everything about myself, including my name, he pulls back.

“Not tonight,” he murmurs.

“I’m—”

Another brush of his mouth against mine, this one comforting. “It’ll hold, sweetheart. And we’ll pick things up on a night that doesn’t have so much history.”

Have I mentioned how much I like him?

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“I’m not.” He opens my door and nudges me toward the seat. “Go home and get some rest. We’ll pick this up another time.”

“Text me?” I ask softly as I buckle in.

“Always.” He closes the door, steps back, and waits.

For me to drive off.

But instead of going home, I find myself steering toward a quiet corner of town, up a winding road, and into…

A cemetery.

There wasn’t enough of Colt left to have a true burial. But Atlas insisted on a plot here, insisted we have a place to go.

And tonight, I need to say goodbye.

Give my final goodbye.

So I park, climb out of my car, and use the flashlight on my phone and the illumination of the moon overhead to pick my way to Colt’s grave.

My throat is tight. My eyes sting. Words bubble up in my throat but don’t come out.

Because I don’t really know where to start.

Before I can, I hear a soft rustle, and my gaze is drawn to the side, to the large old-growth trees and the shadows they’re throwing.

I expect to see a raccoon or a bird picking across the grass.

I don’t expect the shadows to materialize into a person.

Fear grips me, and I stumble back a step, preparing to sprint to my car.

But even as I prepare to lift my foot, I can’t actually make it move.

Because there’s something familiar about the person.

The man.

I squint, trying to make sense of what’s before my eyes.

And then he steps into a shaft of moonlight.

I waver on my feet, shock rippling through me because I can’t be seeing what I’m seeing. It doesn’t make sense.

It’s not possible.

It’s—

“Colt?”

We hope you loved RULEbrEAKER as much as we loved writing Atlas and Lily’s story!

Don’t miss the conclusion of the Gamebreakers series with Briar and Colt’s story in OATHbrEAKER !

It was just one night. Two lonely souls finding solace in the one place we shouldn’t have—my bed.

I thought once would be enough, but leaving her is my biggest—maybe my only—regret.