Page 32 of Rulebreaker (Gamebreakers #4)

THIRTY-TWO

Lily

The thunder and lightning outside is a cruel reflection of how I feel on the inside. Everything is wild and crazy and out of control, which is something I’m not used to.

The press is having a field day with me, and though I have the best PR team, a brand-new crisis management team, and Atlas, it still feels like the sky is falling. Literally, thanks to the weather.

Atlas and I moved from Stan’s house to mine, and it’s a welcome relief but I’m having a tough time navigating the slippery slope of public scrutiny.

I have a huge following, who have always been loyal, but infidelity is one of those things someone in my position has to be careful with.

And I know how quickly you can be tried and convicted in the court of public opinion.

“Sweetheart.” Atlas comes into my massive walk-in closet and leans against the wall. “Everyone is waiting.”

“I know.” I smooth down my dress and pull in a deep, cleansing breath. It doesn’t help and I stare at my reflection in the full-length mirror. “Is this dress too clingy?”

Atlas arches a brow and then gives me a slow, thorough once-over. “I would say it’s not clingy enough, but I’m going to assume you’re talking about whether or not it’s appropriate for the memorial–and it is.”

“Are you sure?”

“Would you like me to send up one of the ladies to give you a second opinion?”

I’m amazed at his patience and restraint, but I shouldn't be. He’s been a veritable rockstar the last few days. He seems to sense what I need before I need it, and handles whatever it is before I can think to ask.

Today is different, though.

Today’s memorial is public and anyone who’s anyone in country music will be in attendance.

If I’m honest, I’m terrified, and the reasons aren’t as simple as whether or not people will believe Harrison’s lies.

The truth is–I abandoned my country roots to go mainstream, and more than a few people didn’t like it.

Critics, other musicians, radio personalities, and more.

I don’t know what I’m walking into, and I’m used to being in control when it comes to my career.

I like to be prepared for any and all contingencies, but I have no idea what I’m going to do if Dolly Parton walks up to me and calls me a slut.

Not that Dolly would ever do such a thing, she’s a total sweetheart, but conjuring up the scenario in my head is enough to make me queasy.

“Texas, we’re going to be late. Talk to me.”

I lift my gaze and find warm brown eyes focused on me. Filled with worry but also on alert, like he’s ready to take action. And he has no idea how much I wish he could fix this part for me.

“What if everyone thinks I’m some kind of two-timing slut who abandoned Stan when he got sick?” I whisper.

“Everyone that matters knows that’s not true,” he says quietly. “And your new crisis management publicist has been inundating the press with stories about all the amazing things you’ve done and continue to do.”

“I know but–”

“Lily.” He walks over to me and gently pulls me against his chest.

“You know how brutal it’s been and…” My voice drops to a whisper. “What if my entire fan base turns on me?”

“They won’t.” He says it so confidently, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“But what if they do ?” I know I sound ridiculous but I can’t seem to help myself.

“Then we can start making a baby right away, instead of waiting for the tour to end.”

I blink.

Did he just say he wanted to start baby-making?

“Are you…” I squint, staring into those dreamy brown eyes I love so much, trying to figure out if he’s fucking with me. “...being serious?”

But he’s not playing games.

He wouldn’t.

Not about something so important.

Certainly not on a day like today.

“The image of you pregnant with my child gets me hard,” he whispers against my ear, his breath warm against my skin. “I’m dead serious and ready whenever you are.”

I can’t help but chuckle, despite the heat warming my insides. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to be romantic, distract me by being absurd, or some combination of both.”

“All of the above,” he says solemnly .

“God, I love you.” I bury the side of my face against his chest, oblivious to whether or not my makeup is staining his pristine black suit.

“Just let me know when you’re ready.” He strokes a hand down my back. “Both for babies and to leave for the service.”

“As much as I love you, and despite not being overly concerned with societal norms, there’s going to be a ring on this finger before we start baby-making, mister.”

“I can have one delivered today,” he responds.

“And you know damn well you’re going to have to put more effort into it than that,” I say primly.

“Noted.”

“Besides, you don’t even know what kind of ring I want,” I tease.

“Oh, I think I do.” His eyes tell me he absolutely does.

Not that I’ve given wedding and engagement rings much thought–I can buy myself almost anything I want so there’s never been a diamond ring bucket list. Though there might need to be now that I have Atlas.

And his eyes are twinkling with a combination of mirth and worry.

I know what he’s doing–distracting me in the only appropriate way since throwing me up against the nearest wall and fucking me senseless isn’t a possibility given our time constraints.

And it’s working.

We’ve done a lot of talking the last couple of days, and we’re in a good place as a couple. It’s just everything else that feels like it’s going to shit. The difference now is that Atlas is by my side, so while it’s not pleasant, it’s at least bearable.

“Texas.” He steps back and looks down at me, gently lifting my chin with his fingers. “I told you I’d take care of everything, and I will. You said you trusted me.”

“I do. But I’m not used to letting someone else be in control. Especially when it comes to my career.”

“I’m not in control of anything but your heart,” he responds solemnly. “All I’m doing is taking a few hard tasks off of your to-do list so you can get through today. You have my word–as soon as this blows over, you can go right back to being in charge.”

“Except in the bedroom.”

His eyes darken, and one side of his lips quirks up. “I’ll even let you take charge in there once in a while.”

I nod and pull in another deep breath.

This time it works, and I feel some of the tension leave my body. I roll my neck, straighten my shoulders, and step into my black pumps.

“All right. Let’s do this.”

Atlas takes my hand and we go downstairs where our friends–our family–are waiting.

“You all right?” Jade immediately hurries to my side.

“I’ll be better once this is over,” I admit.

She nods. “I know.”

She and Royal are here, along with Dash and Willow, and Stacy and her husband Brody.

Briar’s in L.A. taking care of Frankie and covering for Atlas, and Aspen and Banks weren’t up to taking the baby on a trip like this, which is totally understandable.

I feel like they’re with us in spirit, though, because Aspen and Briar have been texting me nonstop.

“Sorry if we kept you waiting,” I say. “I really appreciate all of you coming to support me today.”

“That’s what family does,” Royal says, nodding.

Damn. I really don’t want to cry before the service, but what Royal just said is… powerful. Meaningful. It’s four simple words but they pack an emotional punch. Especially to someone who hasn’t had a family in a really long time.

Now I have a man who loves me–and a family too. Which is pretty cool since that includes Jade, who was one of the few people in the world I considered a true friend.

And it means the world to me.

“The limo is waiting and we’re going to make quite the grand entrance if we don’t leave soon,” Atlas breathes in my ear.

All right. Time to get this show on the road.

I slide my hand into Atlas’s.

“You won’t leave my side today…will you?”

The expression of love on his face answers my question before he opens his mouth, but it’s nice to hear it anyway. “Never.”

That’s really all I need to know.