Page 65

The next morning I awoke with a feeling I had never experienced before.

Dread.

I had only a few blissful seconds before it hit me.

Before yesterday hit me.

And what happened.

It was worse than the day before.

Mostly because it hit me harder after I had completely forgotten it happened.

"Zi," Sevan said, her lowered voice nothing but raspy as she glanced away from her phone to me, "How are you feeling baby?"

I shook my head silently, letting out a deep sigh as I nuzzled in closer to her side.

"Do you need anything?" she asked me even if I had only been silent with her, "Breakfast? Water maybe?"

I shook my head again, "I go talk to Arina," I whispered, rubbing my puffy eyes that seemed to feel heavier in the morning.

"Of course," Sevan said, caressing her hand up my back as I sat up from the bed, "Let me know if either of you need anything."

I nodded silently as I climbed over her and out of my warm bed.

The first thing I did was brush my teeth—then I focused on my morning skincare.

It took me less than ten minutes to finish that and walk over to Arina's room a few hallways down.

Her room was pitch dark as soon as I hesitantly walked in.

I had knocked and I think I heard a brief come in.

Her voice was too soft to process.

But I know she didn't say go away so that's a plus.

I glanced around the dark room, blinking a few times as I tried to adjust to the darkness.

Luckily, I spotted the nightstand and a lamp through the deep darkness—immediately turning the dim lamp on for some sort of help.

And almost immediately, I spotted Arina under the silky navy covers, the outline of her small body showing through.

"Arina," I whispered.

Nothing.

Just silence.

A very heavy silence.

"Arina..." I tried again, trailing off as I awkwardly shifted on my feet.

Still nothing.

She didn't even move.

Luckily, I could at least see her breathing.

That is good.

Perhaps she is just asleep.

I could come back later maybe and—

I suddenly glanced down when she pulled some of the silk covers down, clearly hinting at me joining her in the bed.

So I did.

Hesitantly to say the least.

I sat closest to the edge, slowly pulling the covers over me.

"I do not know what to say," I spoke again through the silence, deciding to be honest with her, "I am not that equipped for emotions—much less grieving someone."

More silence.

Arina didn't bother to even move an inch.

Much less nod or give me some sort of acknowledgment.

"I am... very sorry," I whispered, pursing my lips as I stared ahead at the bare wall, "I did not mean for this to happen this way."

More silence.

Am I doing this right?

I do not think I am doing this right.

But Yuri would want me to be here with her very much.

"I really tried to save you both," I forced out, drawing in a deep breath when I felt my eyes burn with tears that still felt so unfamiliar, "I... I did not realize they would take you. I am not used to family or having people I care about, so I never accounted for—"

"Family?" Arina cut me short, finally speaking something to me.

And even if it was one word, I had never been so grateful.

It made me feel very relieved.

"Da, you are family to me," I clarified.

"So I am not orphan?" Arina hesitantly asked, still remaining still under the covers.

"Of course not," I said almost immediately, my voice entirely defensive at her assumption—which quickly made me clear my throat, "I mean... if you want me to be your guardian then—"

"I do," Arina cut me short, moving the covers away from her face.

I tilted my head as I eyed her face—from her puffy eyes to her flushed cheeks and nose.

"I am confused," I whispered honestly with furrowed brows, "You are not... mad at me?"

Arina tilted her head in confusion, "I was never mad at you," she said, and I couldn't begin to help the relieved sigh that fell from my lips.

"That is very nice to hear," I admitted, nodding a few times to myself as I processed Arina's words.

"I was upset at the moment and I still am—but I do not blame you," Arina explained, her light eyes holding mine, "I am sorry if I made it seem that way."

I shook my head, "Nyet, you can make it seem any way you want," I assured her, knowing she is grieving, and as a child that can mean a lot of displaced emotions.

Especially given her past.

"So... you and Sevan are my guardians?" Arina asked almost in confusion.

Which immediately made my eyes widen, feeling entirely taken aback by her assumption.

But also... I was unsure if we both would have guardianship.

I do not think Sevan would want to do that?

"I am unsure, but I will be your guardian without a doubt," I assured her, glancing away from her to eye the bare room, "We desperately need to decorate this room better first."

Arina's lips twitched up into a weak smile, "I think I would like that very much," she whispered, glancing around the room.

"We get pictures of all your family too so they surround you with love," I added, glancing around at the bare dressers and nightstands.

"I like that... too," Arina forced out, and before I knew it she was covering her face again—letting out a heavy sigh.

Which naturally made my lips purse together in a frown, "I am sorry, I did not mean to—"

"No it is okay," Arina whispered, her voice weak and barely audible as she sniffled, "I like all those ideas, Via."

I drew in a deep breath as I stared at her, watching her break down even more as she held her small hands over her face.

It was a sight that made tears burn in my own eyes, hating how much grief and pain she had experienced at such a young age.

Her childhood should be tea parties, shopping, school, and dolls.

Not abuse, death, and fear.

I aim to give her what is left of her childhood back.

It is my last promise to Yuri.

"What are you—"

"Shhh," I cut Arina short as I wrapped my arms around her, sliding my body closer to hers.

Arina remained still for a long moment.

One that made me anticipate her next move.

Maybe hugging is too much for her.

Especially right now.

Maybe she wants to be alone.

Maybe—

I let out a relieved sigh when her arms suddenly wrapped back around me—leaning further into my body as we lowered down to the bed.

"We give Yuri most wonderful funeral," I whispered as I gently played with her hair.

"Da," Arina murmured, leaning in even deeper to me, "But we keep it intimate?"

I nodded, "Of course—we do intimate with flowers of all arrangements and... and... we get his picture printed out I think—"

"You have not done funeral before have you?" Arina cut me short in a lighter tone.

One that made me smile slightly, "I have not," I admitted, pursing my lips slightly, "We normally just have feast in memory of those who passed," I explained, recalling what I had done for my father, "But Yuri gets very nice funeral—we do it today or tomorrow perhaps because I think the body will... decompose," I tried to explain in the best way possible, but all I could ever sound is blunt.

"Da, we do it today so he looks his very best," Arina said, not bothering to be offended by my bluntness.

That is one of many things I like about her.

"Today then," I whispered, already thinking about what we have to do.

Luckily, there are planners for this sort of thing.

And once I informed Sevan later on, she seemed to have already gotten someone on the phone to handle the arrangements.

Ivan also went ahead and informed the kitchen staff as well for something called a repast.

It is where you share a meal after the funeral service.

Even if it will only be the four of us, I want to do this all right for Yuri.

So I put on my nicest black dress and stockings with my most expensive fur coat and matching fur hat.

I also slipped on heels with more of a thick heel since we will be outside—and then I accessorized with my usual jewelry.

After getting dressed, I also helped Arina with her outfit—having the staff rush to buy different pieces of clothing for her.

She wore a black dress with matching stockings and a furry shawl.

I also helped brush out her hair and secured a black jeweled headband in it—later helping her with her shiny black flats.

We looked perfectly dressed to tell Yuri one last goodbye.

And so did Sevan and Ivan.

Sevan wore her usual black button-down with dress pants and matching loafers—wearing a long trench coat over her outfit.

Her dark hair was slicked back and her face was kept bare.

Ivan also wore a black button-down and dress pants as well—except he wore a shorter black coat, gelling his icy blonde curls back for once.

Everything was already going just how I wanted to.

Especially the funeral itself.

I had decided to put Yuri in my family crypt after Arina agreed to the idea.

So the funeral took place there—with as many bouquets of white flowers as possible and a beautiful casket that he laid peacefully in.

At least he remained peaceful until the end.

He claimed to be going to sleep to Arina and I choose to believe he did.

And that's how he ended up passing.

Very peacefully.

Which is exactly how I wanted his funeral to be.

And with the thin snow covering the ground and the sun out just for him—I got exactly what I wished for.

My last goodbye to him was simple—I held his cold hand in mine one more time and made my promises.

One of them I ensured I would care for Arina until I drew my last breath.

And another where I vowed to give up my vodka habit.

It would be very hard, but I need to be in the right mindset to raise Arina.

Letting go of his hand had to be one of the hardest things I had done—unsure of how I would do all of this.

How I would navigate a life as someone's guardian.

But I knew Yuri would look over me.

Even if my father had lied to me all my life, I knew he was looking over me right now as we speak as well.

I believe Yuri was sent as my angel.

And Arina was too.

They both saved me in a way.

I drew in a deep breath, watching as the closed casket lowered completely into the ground.

Sevan's arms were wrapped around me from behind and I held Arina close to my side—who also held Ivan's hand in hers.

This was it.

It felt like a goodbye and also a part of all of our lives were ending.

Now we are beginning a new journey.

Hopefully a better one.

I suddenly glanced over, noting the four distinct people in black walking toward us with guards around them.

It was hard to make out who it was at first.

Until soon they filtered in closer.

And I knew—

It was the executioners.

Each one of them held one singular white rose—which they dropped over the buried casket one by one as they passed by it.

"We're sorry for your loss," Ettore spoke first as he stopped in front of us all.

Behind him stood the rest of them.

Nazara, Kairos, and Daria.

They looked different when they stood together.

It was a power I couldn't process, but it struck all around me from their combined presences alone.

"There is a time and place for this," Sevan said, and I could feel her arms tighten around me—noticing Ivan had subtly stepped in front of Arina.

"We are aware," Kairos said, oddly holding a respectful tone.

"We simply wanted to bring good news to a bad day," Daria tried to explain, but I swear I would not condone their random drop-in.

It is disrespectful.

"There will not be a vote held at this year's gala," Ettore spoke again, grasping all of our attention.

And his words single-handily made my stomach tie in knots.

Until I processed their previous words.

Good news to a bad day.

"We all approve of your newfound relationship and have decided to play this by ear," Ettore suddenly added, smiling slightly as he glanced between me and Sevan, "But all rules within your roles must be followed—that's how we decide if this will work out."

I nodded almost hesitantly at the news.

At the very good news actually.

For once, I could see how having this set of people on your side would be very beneficial.

I also knew that Yuri was already working his magic from above.

"We do need to speak with Sevan first," Nazara suddenly said, finally contributing something to this conversation.

One that she didn't seem very happy to be having.

But that is her problem.

"Once I conclude everything here with my girlfriend and her family, we can talk," Sevan said, clearly still irritated by their sudden appearance.

Which naturally made me run my hands over hers resting on my hips, trying to soothe her back down.

"We are still very thankful for the convenience of this decision," I said, deciding to be the reasonable one for once.

And as soon as I firmly squeezed Sevan's hands, she reluctantly nodded in agreement as well.

"Very thankful," she added, and I could hear the forced gratitude in her voice.

But luckily, they all seemed to approve of our gratefulness.

"We are too—this is an easier way for us all," Ettore said in agreement.

"We'll be at the main branch waiting for you, Cortez," Kairos said, nodding his head down once.

And everyone else seemed to nod their heads down as well.

"Our condolences once again," Ettore said one last time before he walked away—with all three of them following close behind in a line.

Which left us all in a deep silence, processing their overall presence and words.

But luckily, it was good news.

And we were able to finish Yuri's funeral after, throwing soil over his shiny casket and saying one last goodbye to him before we walked toward the SUVs waiting.

"I shouldn't be long," Sevan assured me as we stood outside of the SUV that Arina and Ivan waited for me in.

"But the main branch is over an hour away," I reminded her, recalling that small glass house with all the levels underneath it.

The first time I was there, I remember the drive was very long.

Which I hated.

I also recall the office where I first laid eyes on her.

And the room she locked me in just after that occurrence.

For some reason, those memories still warm my heart very much.

"Save a plate for me and I'll make sure to eat and hang out with you guys when I get back," Sevan suggested a new idea.

I pursed my lips, "I suppose we can play chess for a little while and you can eat too," I sighed, running my hands up her arms.

Sevan instinctively grabbed my waist, gently pulling me into her warm body, "We'll do that—and then maybe we could take Arina out for a dessert," she said, naturally making me smile slightly.

"You would want to do that?" I asked, suddenly considering Arina's question from earlier.

Would Sevan want to be her guardian as well?

"Of course baby," she whispered, briefly kissing my cheek before also kissing my lips.

Which unconsciously made me smile further, "I would like that very much..." I trailed off, suddenly contemplating the idea of mentioning Arina's idea to her.

But it was very... out there.

And we just started dating.

We also recently said those three words to each other.

I am unsure if her being Arina's guardian is too big of a step.

Maybe she—

"Zinovia," Sevan said, her dark eyes analyzing my face all too well, "What is it?"

I pursed my lips, "Nothing—"

"Something's on your mind," Sevan cut me short before I could begin to lie.

I sighed, suddenly deciding that I would mention the idea.

The worst she says is no.

"So I was talking to Arina about becoming her guardian, and she... well she had this assumption that we would both be her guardians—and I know it sounds very crazy or strange to do that so quickly together. We just began our relationship and being responsible for another person is a lot to ask but I just thought—"

"Zi," Sevan cut me short with an amused smile, caressing her hands so perfectly up my back, "I would love to be her guardian with you."

I blinked a few times, "Are you sure?" I whispered, wanting to ensure this was what she wanted with me.

With us.

"Entirely sure," Sevan assured me, leaning down to briefly kiss my lips again.

And as soon as she leaned away slightly from my lips—I pulled her into a full-on hug, smiling nearly ear to ear.

"That is wonderful news, malyshka," I whispered, feeling so much better now that I would officially be doing this with someone else.

And then I know Ivan would definitely help out as well.

This will all be okay after all.

"I was unsure how I would do it all alone," I admitted as I nuzzled into her neck.

"You're never alone," Sevan reminded me, holding me so close to her body, "Especially not now."

I let out a deep sigh, "I love you," I whispered as I relaxed in her arms.

"I love you too," she didn't hesitate to say back, holding me so presently in the moment.

And we didn't care about the cold air whipping around us—or the snow that slowly began flurrying in the wind.

It was so warm between us that we couldn't bear to move.

Only a few short minutes later were we ready to part ways.

And as Sevan told us all goodbye, I couldn't help but feel somewhat at peace.

We had lost a lot but now it is time we rebuild it all.

We have so much ahead of us and I am excited to see what we do with it.