Page 54

It was a smell that surrounded me immediately—sharp, sterile, like the air had been scrubbed clean.

My head felt heavy like it was stuffed with cotton, making every muscle in my body ache.

I forced my eyes open, blinking as I processed the golden light spilling from a chandelier above me.

There weren't those harsh fluorescent bulbs.

No, this room was too polished for that.

Cream-colored walls, gold accents on the furniture, and fresh flowers arranged neatly on a side table.

This wasn't a typical hospital room.

I could tell it was one of the nicer ones—which I had previously seen whenever I came to the hospital with my father.

The rhythmic beeping of the machines by my bed was steady, almost soothing if I ignored the faint tug of the IV in my arm.

I tried to sit up, but my body betrayed me—feeling almost weak and sluggish.

My burning throat also felt as dry as sandpaper.

I didn't have to look to know someone was here.

I could feel it—the weight of her presence in the room.

"You're awake."

Her voice was calm, too calm, and I already hated the sound of it.

I turned my head slowly even with my stiff neck—and there she was.

Sevan, sitting in an oversized armchair in the corner of the room like she personally owned this hospital.

Her leather black jacket was draped across the chair as she kept her posture relaxed—but it was her stare...

It was sharper than any blade I had pointed at my throat.

"What happened?" I said, my voice cracking and barely audible, but I pushed the words out anyway.

"You overdosed."

The bluntness of her answer hit harder than the headache pounding behind my eyes.

She didn't flinch or bother to soften her tone.

I stared at her for a moment, then I glanced down at the IV taped to my arm and the pristine white sheets covering me.

The word overdosed hung in the air, almost heavy and foreign.

I tried to swallow, but my throat felt like it had been scraped raw.

"It wasn't—" I started, but the words physically got caught in my throat.

I did not know how to finish the sentence for once.

"It wasn't intentional?" Sevan's voice cut in, smooth but sharp enough to sting.

She leaned forward slightly, elbows resting on her knees—looking at me with a stare that made my chest tighten.

I turned my head away, my gaze settling on the vase of pale pink roses on the table.

Everything here was polished, everything had a place.

At least that kept me somewhat grounded.

"I assumed I could handle it," I finally spoke again, still avoiding her stare, "I have taken many before and—"

"There were around twelve milligrams in your system," Sevan cut me short, her voice nothing but serious with me, "They had to pump your stomach."

I blinked a few times, still avoiding her stare.

I also avoided saying anything else because now didn't feel like the time with her.

"And then the vodka, Zinovia," Sevan suddenly sighed, and I couldn't help but draw in a deep breath when she stood from her chair, "You had me getting you fucking vodka knowing—"

"It is my body," I cut her short bitterly.

"And what happens to me when you destroy it?" Sevan immediately countered back.

I furrowed my brows when she gently grabbed my chin, aligning our eyes as I reluctantly stared up at her.

And for once I felt not just mentally weak, but physically too.

This is very embarrassing.

"I do not care what happens to you," I mumbled before I could think it through.

But my words didn't seem to affect Sevan in the slightest.

They never did.

"Well, I care what happens to you," Sevan had the nerve to say, letting go of my chin to gently cup my cheek.

And for once I remained silent, staring into her dark eyes with nothing but frustration.

Because all I can think about is how back and forth she is.

How she will act this way now, but it's not permanent with her.

But then...

Then I recalled something.

I recalled the haziness of the basketball game.

The vodka, the pizza, the crowd—

And the jumbotron.

What Sevan had publicly asked me.

Until I ruined it all.

Or maybe it was already ruined to begin with.

"I do not trust you," I whispered, pulling away from her hand that gently held the edges of my cheek, "You said such contradicting things in Colombia."

I furrowed my brows when Sevan suddenly sat down on the edge of the bed beside my legs, her dark eyes never once glancing away from me.

"You caught me off guard—everything you did that night caught me off guard, Zinovia," Sevan tried to explain, but I do not accept excuses, "I told you we needed distance—I expected you to follow through on that."

I shrugged, "You did not answer phone, it is your fault," I determined, knowing I wouldn't have showed up otherwise.

"The secure lines weren't secure anymore," Sevan emphasized, letting out a deep sigh, "And then you show up at my parent's house—"

"I did not know it was their house—you assume I did that purposefully," I quickly cut her short, drawing in a frustrated breath as I briefly squeezed my eyes closed.

The feelings inside of me feel very overwhelming.

"I know you didn't do it purposefully," Sevan whispered, gently grabbing one of my hands to wrap in hers, "I was just irritated in the moment, and I was trying to find reasons."

I remained silent for a moment, staring down at the cover tucked over my legs.

"You pretended like you wanted me—I gave you firsts and..." I trailed off, shaking my head almost in frustration.

I do not like caring about this.

I do not like being so sensitive.

"I value everything you gave me Zinovia," Sevan didn't hesitate to say, gently squeezing my hand in hers, "And I never pretended to want you—I do want you."

I shook my head, "But you said we can't establish anything—"

"Because of our roles," Sevan quickly corrected me, interlacing her fingers with mine, "Because of the Executioners," she emphasized.

I remained silent almost in confusion, unsure of what I should think at this moment.

This is very complicated.

"It was a lot in the moment—you showing up at my parent's house, then me trying to handle loose ends and sort everything out, and then suddenly, you want to establish something at possibly the worst time for us," Sevan tried to explain better for me as I continued to avoid her stare, "I made an uncalculated decision, Zinovia."

I nodded once, "I know," I mumbled, deciding to fight the forgiveness I wanted to show her.

"It won't happen again," Sevan determined, her tone nothing but serious with me, "Just like you taking Xanax won't be happening again."

I immediately glanced up, "It is prescribed—"

"Not anymore," Sevan immediately cut me short, "Pharmacies aren't allowed to distribute it to you anymore."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "That is not your choice to make," I said, tugging my hand out of hers, "If I decide to take Xanax it is up to me."

Sevan lazily raised her brows, "Have fun trying then," she murmured, not bothered whatsoever by my words, "I made sure to give strict orders to your men too."

I scoffed, "You told them Sevan?" I asked her, feeling my face burn up in even more embarrassment.

"Of course not," Sevan immediately shut my assumption down, "This stays between us for your privacy."

I nodded almost a few times, glancing away from her and almost feeling embarrassed yet again.

This has never happened before.

I have never lost this amount of control before.

"I need Xanax, Sevan," I suddenly whispered, realizing that my men would not be able to get it for me.

And I definitely will not be able to get it with her strict orders passed down.

"Need is an interesting word to use considering it almost killed you," Sevan pointed out, arguing my words entirely.

"But I am fine," I tried to assure her, meeting her dark eyes again.

"Do I need to have it banned here to prove my point, Zinovia?" Sevan asked me, immediately shutting the topic of Xanax down.

I let out a deep sigh, sinking down in the bed and turning on my side away from her.

"I do not want to be yours then," I mumbled almost spitefully, recalling what was on that jumbotron moments before I passed out.

"If that's what it takes to keep you alive," Sevan didn't hesitate to say, entirely unbothered by my words.

Which bothered me to say the least.

Because I do want to be hers.

And I think it is nice that she cares about me.

It's just the idea of not being able to have Xanax...

That frustrates me.

"What if I ration it better?" I suddenly offered, circling right back to the Xanax topic.

"That's a really good idea," Sevan said, which immediately made a burst of relief flow through my body.

I couldn't help but turn back around to her, "Really?" I said, sitting up from the bed.

Sevan nodded, "Yeah, I'm thinking zero pills a day is perfect," she said, almost purposely.

And I couldn't help but shove her shoulder in response with an annoyed sigh.

Until my lips annoyingly twitched up against my own wishes—especially when Sevan laughed slightly.

"You are very annoying," I said, shoving her shoulder again when my smile managed to grow.

Sevan only smiled slightly as she grabbed my hand before I could hit her shoulder again—

And pulled me into a hug.

Which quickly changed the playful mood around us.

Now it felt serious again.

Especially with how close Sevan held me.

It felt like she did not want to let me go.

"Tell me you won't touch another Xanax," Sevan said, her tone nothing but serious with me, "Promise me," she added, her voice suddenly softer than before.

Weaker almost.

I let out a soft sigh, feeling entirely conflicted.

I do not want to give up Xanax.

But I also...

I do not like that she worries about it.

Maybe she is right.

Maybe it is time I try to give this up.

"I..." I trailed off, unsure of if I could actually give it up permanently, "I can try."

Sevan hummed immediately, burying her face in the crook of my neck, "I'll take that," she whispered as I hesitantly lifted my arms.

And slowly slid them around her to hug her back.

"Do you promise not to make uncalculated decisions again?" I said, quoting her previous words.

But we both knew it was less about uncalculated decisions.

And weirdly about reassurance.

"I promise, Zinovia," Sevan didn't hesitate to say, which somehow made me relax further in her arms.

"Good," I forced out in a whisper, "Because I do want to be yours," I admitted even if my ego still found a way to scream at me.

"I know," Sevan said almost purposely.

Which earned a fake scoff from me—attempting to push her away.

But Sevan only held me closer, smiling against my neck.

"I want you to be mine too," Sevan corrected her previous words.

Which earned a hum of approval from me, "And you also want to be mine, da?" I repeated back to her with emphasis.

"Da," Sevan said back to me, easily making my lips twitch up slightly.

"I open gift now then," I determined.

Which earned an amused chuckle from Sevan, "Oh now you want to open it?" she asked, pulling back from the hug slightly to meet my stare.

I rolled my eyes, "I am very curious to see what you got me," I mumbled, glancing over to the flowers and Cartier bag that sat off in one of the chairs.

Sevan only hummed knowingly, standing from the hospital bed to grab the Cartier bag.

Which I immediately took from her as soon as she extended it to me.

And as expected a velvet box sat inside the bag.

Which I immediately opened, gently tugging at the ribbon and snapping the box open.

I raised a brow at the gold necklace, noticing the circular pendant hanging from it with an emerald green stone in the middle.

"Read the back," Sevan instructed me, carefully flipping the necklace over.

Where an elegant engraving awaited my curious eyes.

???? ???????????????? ??????????????

I rolled my eyes at the words, glancing up at Sevan with a stupid smile.

"Controlling Colombian," I mumbled, nudging her shoulder as I handed her the velvet box, "Put it on me."

"Ask properly," Sevan countered back with a raised brow.

I let out a dramatic sigh, not even bothering to think my next words through.

"Put it on me... please, Sevan," I said, my tone bordering on smart.

But Sevan still followed through on my request anyway, carefully unraveling the necklace from the box.

And I didn't hesitate to lift my dark hair from my shoulders, staring so openly at her face as she focused on securing the necklace around my neck.

Which only took her a few brief seconds.

"Perfect," Sevan murmured as she toyed with the pendant for a moment, glancing up to meet my light eyes.

I slowly let my hair back down, naturally leaning into her.

For what we both knew I wanted.

I just didn't want to ask.

And it didn't seem like Sevan wanted me to—given her lips were gently pressed to mine within seconds.

"I like this gift very much," I whispered against her lips, running my arms around her neck.

I almost basked in the warmth she brought me.

How her body felt against mine.

"Wait until you see what I had waiting back at your compound," Sevan subtly murmured, smiling slightly against my lips.

And I couldn't help but smile back slightly, kissing her lips even deeper as she carefully ran her arms around my waist.

She held me almost cautiously, kissing me with nothing but gentleness as she began caressing her hand up my back.

"Ms. Koslov, you are awake," I heard an unfamiliar voice say as she awkwardly cleared her throat.

Which naturally made an irritated sigh fall from my lips, especially when Sevan instinctively pulled back from me—looking over at the doctor who slowly entered the large room.

"I kill you for your interruption," I bluntly said, hating that she just killed the moment.

Which only earned an awkward laugh from the doctor, "You are very funny," she said, glancing down at the folder in her hands.

But I was not being funny.

Nyet.

And to prove that, I reached over to my bedside where a glass vase sat with flowers.

I planned to throw it at the doctor.

At least until Sevan subtly grabbed my hand, pursing her lips together almost in amusement.

"Any updates to add?" Sevan asked the woman, purposely holding my hand in hers.

"No-no, she looks much better than a few hours ago—and she is awake," the woman said, which earned a deep impatient sigh from me as I laid back in the bed, "We still want to keep her here for another day and run a few more tests to ensure she is cleared to leave."

Sevan immediately nodded, "Whatever's necessary," she said, gently squeezing her hand around mine as I settled in the bed beside her.

"Good, the nurses will be in soon for a quick check," the doctor said, backing out of the room with a smile, "Please let us know if you need anything at all."

"Time alone would be very nice," I subtly added as she walked out of the room.

"Zinovia," Sevan said, shaking her head at me with an amused smile.

"What? I want time alone with you," I said with a narrowed look, subtly pulling her down into me, "A lot of time alone," I emphasized.

Sevan's amusement visibly grew, "Which you'll have once you make a full recovery," she pointed out, earning a dramatic groan from me.

"This is all very unnecessary," I assured her, gently grabbing her neck to guide her lips down to mine, "I feel fine."

Sevan only briefly pecked my lips, "It is more than necessary," she reminded me as she slipped off her loafers and slid into the bed next to me.

Which easily made me forget about our current conversation—leaning deeper into her side as she ran her arm around my waist.

And whether I liked to admit it or not...

I felt very happy with this outcome.

Now we just need to figure out the executioners situation.