Page 8

CHAPTER 8

Johnny

“Why don’t you take these up to the guys for a mid-morning snack?” Reba said to Jax just as I was getting ready to head out to the horses. Time had passed and we had fallen into an easy rhythm around here. My ranch duties were lacking because I couldn’t seem to pull myself away from her but no one seemed to mind, for now. I had gotten up before the sunrise this morning and by the time I made it back, Reba was up with Jax having breakfast. He was starting on his reading for the day, and the desire to walk up and pull her into my arms to express my thanks was overwhelming. The longer she stayed with us, the stronger she grew, but the change in her was apparent to everyone around us. Reba was slowly but surely, hating me a little less every day.

“Can I, Papa?”

“Of course. Leave the cupcakes up at the bunkhouse in case the guys are still out doing chores.”

Jax beamed and ran for the backdoor with a basket full of baked goods.

“I didn’t know you bake.”

“It’s a new thing. Like you said, some things change.”

I knew what I’d said, and I knew when I’d said it. I also knew it had nothing to do with cooking and everything to do with trying to win her back.

“I’m heading out. Want to join me?”

“You mean you’ll let me into the back pasture without a suit of armor?”

“Ha. Ha. Come on, the girls will be happy to see you. Especially Onex. She looks past me every time I walk out there looking for you. Working with her just proves she’s only tolerating me, but I’m kind of used to women acting that way.”

She smiled and finished drying the cupcake pan before heading to the backdoor and pulling her boots on. I loved seeing her move without pain, but whenever I did, a bit of fear set in that she would insist on leaving me soon.

We made our way out to the back pasture on four wheelers. My hope that my second one wouldn’t start and she would have to ride out with me died a quick death when the fickle machine fired right up for her.

“They have really settled in well,” she said as we approached the gate.

“They have. It will be a while before they can be saddled and ridden, but the trust is already building.”

Onex, the fearless leader of the bunch, looked up. Her eyes twitched and her nose wiggled toward the two of us before she made her way straight to Reba, who held her arms out welcoming her.

“Hey, pretty girl, how’s your little family?”

Reba stroked Onex’s strong neck, murmuring soft words as the mare pressed her nose against her shoulder. Reba had named the mare, correcting me when I first spelled it with a “y” in place of the “e” while questioning her choice as the mare was brown and not black.

With Reba’s explanation that the name had nothing to do with the color of the mare’s coat but had been chosen because the name represented strength and leadership among their peers, I’d instantly stood corrected.

Onex had proven time and time again that she was both as the other horses hung back a few feet, watching, their ears flicking in our direction. They were still cautious, but every day, they warmed up more.

“She’s really taken to you,” I said, stepping up beside Reba.

“Of course she has. She’s got good taste,” she quipped, flashing me a small smile before turning her attention back to the horse.

Before I could come up with a comeback, the crunch of tires over gravel caught my attention. I turned toward the tree line just as Mac’s truck rolled up, kicking up dust in its wake. Reba must have heard it too, because she let out a quiet sigh, straightening up.

“You think he’s here to check on me or the horses?”

“Probably both,” I admitted, watching as Mac climbed out of the cab, his sharp eyes already sweeping over the pasture, taking everything in like he always did.

Mac shut the door and ambled toward us, hands in his pockets. “They’re looking good,” he said as he reached the gate, nodding toward the horses. “Didn’t think they’d settle this fast.”

“They still have a long way to go, but they’re getting there.”

“And you? You still thinkin’ about running off as soon as you’re back to a hundred percent?”

I stiffened at his bluntness, but Reba didn’t flinch. She crossed her arms and met his stare head-on. “Haven’t decided yet.”

Mac let out a slow breath and glanced at me. “She always this stubborn?”

“You have no idea.”

Mac grunted, shaking his head. “Well, you’re doin’ good work out here, both of you. I’d sure hate to see that wasted. You got a minute, Reba? I want to talk to you about something.”

Reba narrowed her eyes but headed in his direction. I couldn’t hear shit, but I could tell from her stance that she wasn’t a fan of what he had to say. Before long, she headed back in my direction.

“I’ll be around later to check on things. Try not to let her boss you around too much, Johnny,” Mac said before he turned back toward his truck.

I chuckled as he climbed back into his truck. Reba rolled her eyes but didn’t argue, which I took as a small victory.

As Mac’s truck disappeared down the dirt road, I turned back to her. “What did he have to say?”

“Nothing important.”

“Right, then, why did you look so annoyed?”

“I haven’t decided if I’m leaving yet because I don’t know where to go next. Mac wants me to stay, but I’m not sure if that’s the right move.”

“Why not?”

Her head tilted then shook so quickly her hat nearly fell off her head. “You know why.”

Onex stepped back as I stepped forward. Was I about to make the biggest mistake of my life? Maybe. But it felt like a now-or-never situation. I reached for Reba and pulled her body against mine as I tilted my head and covered her lips with mine. She gasped with shock, but then she leaned into me even more. Her arms came up around my neck and everything around us seemed to disappear. Every possibility of our future flashed through my mind until Onex, the ornery girl that she was, decided she wanted Reba’s attention and didn’t want to share it. She nudged my shoulder, breaking the moment, and at the same time Reba pushed at my chest until I let her go and she stepped away.

“What was that?”

“A kiss. Obviously.”

“Why? But, what would make you think that was okay?”

“Don’t you pretend that you weren’t into it.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Wanna bet?”

I reached for her again and pulled her to me. This time she made a half-assed attempt to deny me, so I lifted her into my arms and held her to me.

“This is how it’s supposed to be, Reba. Stop fighting it.”

“Put me down!”

“Not until you forgive me.”

“Never!”

“Then this is how we will go on for the rest of our lives.”

I started walking toward the gate, ignoring the frustrated grunts of Onex.

“Johnny, I swear the second you let go, I’m going to kick you so hard in the nuts!”

“Well, that doesn’t make me want to let you go now, does it?”

“Ugh, you’re such an ass.”

“Maybe, but I’m your ass. You know it, so stop denying it.”

I reached the gate, but rather than opening it, I pressed Reba against it. Fuck, it felt amazing to have her in my arms.

“Forgive me, Reba. Please.”

“For what?” she spat back, as if I didn’t know.

“For making the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Fucking me? Yeah, I know it was a mistake. After promising me again and again that night it wasn’t, the first thing you said in the morning was ‘What a fucking mistake’. I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“You never let me explain!”

“Why would I? I could tell by the look on your face how disgusted you were.”

“I was not disgusted! God woman, you’re impossible.”

“It was a mistake because I didn’t know you were a virgin. If I had, I would have done things differently, not like some drunken buffoon.”

“You never wanted me sober.”

The hurt in her words and the way she tried to look away from me nearly broke me. “That’s not even a little true. Besides I’m not drunk now, and I want you more than ever.”

“Well, I’m not up for sale.”

“Please, Reba, let me in.”

I let my head fall forward until my forehead rested against hers. The tension in her body gave way just a little.

“It will hurt too much, Johnny. I lost everything that night. Our friendship, Jax, my rodeo family. I had to start over just to avoid you, and I did. Training horses is my life now and I’m proud of what I accomplished. I can’t risk it all again.”

“You won’t, not can’t, Reba.”

I let her down but kept her between me and the gate. “I fucked up. It was the worst mistake I ever made because I didn’t want to lose my best friend and I lost her anyway. I need you, Reba, and having you here with me and Jax the last few weeks just proves how badly I do. Give me a chance to make it up to you. Let me show you what you deserve from me. What you have always deserved to have.”

She reached between us and took off her hat. Holding it to her side before she ducked under my arm and stepped aside.

“I just don’t know how I can.”

I watched her open the gate and leave, my chest tightening as she slipped out and put distance between us. The way she clutched her hat, the stiffness in her shoulders—I knew she wasn’t running, not yet. But she was teetering on the edge of it. She took off toward the four wheelers so fast it looked as if she thought she could outrun what just happened. Like hell she could. I let out a slow breath, dragging a hand down my face before following her. She might not be ready to hear everything I had to say, but I wasn’t about to let her shut down and shove me away again. Not this time.

“Reba,” I called out. She didn’t stop.

I lengthened my stride, closing the gap between us until I was right behind her. “You can’t just walk away from this.”

“Watch me.”

I reached for her hand, but she pulled away. Her reaction stung more than it should’ve, but I didn’t let it show.

“You always this difficult?”

She shot me a glare. “You always this insufferable?”

A grin tugged at my lips despite the situation. “Only when I’m trying to get through to a woman who refuses to see what’s right in front of her.”

She jumped on the back of the four wheeler and to my dismay, the damn thing started up again. I followed her closely on mine and parked, following her up to the porch, as she stomped up the steps, shoving the door open with more force than necessary. I followed her inside, letting the screen door slam behind me. She tossed her hat onto the kitchen counter and turned to face me, her eyes flashing with frustration and something else. Something I wasn’t sure she was ready to admit.

“None of this changes anything,” she said, her voice quieter now, less sure as she waved between the two of us.

“The hell it doesn’t,” I countered, stepping closer. “You felt that, same as me.”

She swallowed hard, her throat working, but she didn’t move away this time. I reached up, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering along her jaw. She closed her eyes for the briefest second, and that tiny reaction sent a surge of hope through me.

“I need some space,” she muttered, stepping back.

I let her go, watching as she turned and disappeared down the hall. She was slipping through my fingers yet again.