Page 4

CHAPTER 4

Johnny

Watching her was like watching the most complicated, beautiful thing in the world. Reba had been part of my life for longer than I could remember. We’d been wild, dumb kids running the rodeo circuit and then everything had gone to shit. But there were times like today when I couldn’t pull my gaze from her. I was happy Jagger and Moira had Jax, because splitting my attention right now seemed impossible.

She held her hand out as the wind changed directions and the mare she was trying to win over took in her scent. The horse was taken by the light floral smell that hit her nose in the same way I was every time I was near Reba. She had a thing with horses that many admired. I followed her in because I couldn’t watch her from afar, but I wasn’t an idiot. She took the lead in here and I was only around in case she needed me. Her level of patience far exceeded mine and when the small herd ran off, she didn’t look disappointed, only more motivated to win them over.

“It’s okay,” she said, turning in my direction. “They just need a little more space.”

“For animals as large as they are, horses always amaze me at how skittish they are.”

“They have no reason not to be. Everything in our world is foreign to them. These four have lived a life of freedom. They need to choose a life with human companionship and they know nothing about it.”

I nodded, but my eyes stayed on her, not the horses. “So, how do you convince them?”

Reba turned back to the mare, watching her with that quiet patience she always had. “I don’t. I show them there’s nothing to fear. That being close to me is safe.”

Her voice was soft but sure, and damn if that didn’t hit me harder than it should have. Because hell, that’s what I’d been trying to do with her for years, show her I wasn’t the same dumb kid who’d hurt her, that I’d changed, that being close to me wouldn’t bring her regret. The mare huffed and took another hesitant step toward her. Reba stood still, letting the horse close the distance on her own terms. I forced myself to do the same. I wanted to step in, to do something, but I knew better. This wasn’t my area of expertise, it was hers. The worst mistake I could make was to interfere. Honestly, I shouldn’t even be in here with her, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that if one of these horses so much as twitched the wrong way, I’d be between them and Reba in a heartbeat. She’d hate me for it, but I couldn’t let her get hurt. Not when there was a chance I could do something to stop it.

“You ever tire of waiting?”

She smirked, eyes still on the mare. “No. You rush them, you lose them. Some things take time.”

Some things. Not all things. I scrubbed a hand over my jaw and exhaled through my nose, trying to shake the frustration I had no right to feel. She wasn’t talking about us, but damn if it didn’t feel like she was.

The wind shifted again, and the mare flicked an ear. Another slow step, closer this time.

Reba barely breathed. Neither did I.

When the mare finally stretched her nose forward and sniffed Reba’s outstretched hand, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly. Just a ghost of a smile, but I caught it. She was beautiful when she smiled. It was something I didn’t get to see often. She had constructed walls around her when it came to me, and the only smile I ever got was when she was with Jax or someone else entirely. I watched like I always do and when the mare suddenly tensed and trotted away, Reba didn’t react with disappointment, just a calmness that I’d always admired. She turned her head, her gaze meeting mine.

“They’ll come around,” she said, like she had no doubts.

My chest tightened. “Yeah,” I murmured, my eyes still locked on hers. “They will.”

Her expression flickered, like maybe she caught the double meaning in my words. Maybe she didn’t. Either way, she looked away first, turning toward the herd as they settled on the far end of the pasture for the second time.

We tried again and again all morning and most of the early afternoon before Reba was finally ready to call it quits.

“We should give them a break. Try again later this afternoon when they’re calmer. They have our scent now. We won’t be strangers next time.”

I exhaled slowly, nodding. “Sounds like a plan.”

I stepped back, giving her space as she climbed over the fence rather than unlatching the gate this time. I followed right behind her, resisting the urge to offer a hand, knowing she wouldn’t take it. But when she landed and brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face, her fingers trembling just a little from the adrenaline, I almost reached for her. Almost.

Instead, I shoved my hands into my pockets and forced a grin. “You always this stubborn?”

She shot me a look. “You always this annoying?”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Reba rolled her eyes but didn’t argue, just started toward the house. I followed, watching the sway of her hips, the tension in her shoulders. I didn’t know if I’d ever win her over. But like she said, some things take time. And for her, I’d wait as long as it took.

“Should we break Jax’s heart and pull him away from those little ones?”

“I’d rather not. They look like they are having a blast.”

“Yeah, Sometimes I feel bad we don’t live in a neighborhood full of kids that he can play with, but then I see him with the animals at the ranch and the guys and I feel like he needs that too. Parenting is complicated as fuck sometimes.”

“I can imagine.”

“Do you want to grab lunch over at the Ranch? I can see if Jagger and Moira want to watch Jax for a little longer.”

Her gaze lingered on me for a second, hesitation clear in her eyes. Then she gave a brief nod. “Fine. But only because I’m starving.”

I smirked but didn’t push my luck. Instead, I turned back toward the house. The front door was propped open, probably left by my kid knowing him. I pushed it open further and found him at an oversized wood table with the twins chomping down on what looked like grilled-cheese sandwiches.

After asking Jagger if he and Moira would mind watching my boy, I made sure that was okay with Jax as well. “Hey, bud, want to stay here with Ms. Moira and Mr. Jagger for a little longer? I’m going to take Ms. Reba over to the Ranch for lunch.”

Jax didn’t even hesitate. “Yes!”

Moira laughed, shaking her head. “Go have some fun. We’ve got him covered.”

“Thanks, we won’t be long, but I hate to pull him away. We don’t have a lot of kids up at Mac’s.” I turned back to Reba. “Looks like it’s just us.”

Her lips pressed into a thin line as if she’d hoped Jax would join us, but she didn’t argue as we made our way to my truck. I opened the passenger door for her, but she ignored the gesture, climbing in on her own and reaching for the door to close it herself. Typical. I shook my head and walked around to the driver’s side. The ride to the Ranch was short, but the air inside the truck was thick with unspoken words. It was rare I had her alone and, honestly, I couldn’t remember any of those situations going well. I could feel Reba’s tension, see it in the way she kept her arms crossed, eyes on the passing landscape.

“So,” I started, keeping my voice casual, “what’s the plan after this?”

She turned to me, brows furrowing. “After what?”

“After the horses are ready to move.”

She shrugged, looking back out the window. “Don’t know yet. I’ll probably stay on here as long as they need help. Mac may want four, but that still leaves nine others.”

“You could come back to Mac’s ranch. Help me finish what we started here.”

Reba let out a humorless laugh. “We didn’t start anything, Johnny. You came to buy horses, I came to work with them. That’s it.”

“Mac and I could use your help, you know.”

“Oh really? My help? You all have a fully staffed ranch with multiple trainers who could work with them once you arrange transport. That’s not even including you and Mac. You don’t need me.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Always act like you aren’t needed anywhere. Reba, you are one of the best trainers in the business and you know it, but you deny it. Running all over the country working with different people just to leave and do it again. What are you running from?”

Her fingers curled into her jeans, jaw tightening. “You’re reading too much into it. I like to travel.”

I exhaled slowly, trying to keep my frustration in check. “I’m just saying you don’t have to bounce from one job to another forever. Mac’s place could be a good fit. A steady place to work and settle down.”

“And that’s what you think I need? Stability?”

“I think you need a place where you don’t feel the need to run.”

“Does Mac know you are sitting here offering me a job?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah.”

“No, but he wouldn’t have sent me here just for horses. You know Mac. He would have just called you and made arrangements for them to be brought to us. Instead, he sent me and Jax here to be with you.”

Her eyes flashed with something I couldn’t quite place, but before I could push further, she was already unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door. “Let’s just eat, Johnny.”

I sighed as she slammed the door behind her and took off to the entrance.

Though it was rather late for lunch, the cafeteria was still offering a spread of sandwiches, chips, and fresh fruit along with several warm options to choose from for anyone who was hungry. Reba grabbed a tray, staying well ahead of me in the line making her selections as I filled mine.

The silence stretched between us as we ate, only the clinking of silverware and the conversations of those around us breaking the quiet. I needed to figure out how to get her to listen—really listen. I needed her to come back with me. I’d fucked things up with us in the past and I knew that, but it had been years and there was something about Reba that I just couldn’t shake. She was amazing with Jax and I always shrugged my feelings toward her off because of that. When Jax’s mom left us, I’d relied on Reba too much and felt guilty over it. But now Jax was older and the few times a year Reba came by the ranch just felt different. It’s been my home forever, but when she was with us, things just felt right.

Finally, I set my sandwich down and looked up at her. “Why won’t you consider it?”

“Because settling down somewhere isn’t in the cards for me.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not who I am.”

I leaned back in my chair, studying her. “This is not who you used to be.”

Her fingers tensed around her fork. “And you think I should change? Or that the changes I made in my life were wrong?”

“No,” I said carefully. “I think you might have already changed, and maybe every once in a while you miss being settled down.”

Her breath caught, but she masked it with a quick sip of her drink before looking at me with all the hatred in the world. “You see me a few times a year. You’ve been here for two days and you think you know everything about me? You’re right, Johnny, I have changed and for good reason. I like who I am and what my life is now.”

“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. This life isn’t what you used to want. So why now?”

She broke eye contact and stared off into the distance. If we weren’t sitting here with a room full of people, she would probably slap me, so I decided to go for broke. “That night after the rodeo?—”

Her fork clattered onto her plate. “Don’t.”

I clenched my jaw. “We never talked about it.”

“Because it wasn’t worth talking about,” she said, standing abruptly.

I stood too, frustration boiling over. “Maybe not to you.”

Her gaze snapped to mine, something raw flashing in those deep brown eyes before she turned away. “I’ll see you this afternoon with the horses.”

And just like that, she was gone, leaving me there with a half-eaten sandwich and a whole lot of unresolved history. I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.