Page 11

CHAPTER 11

Reba

Dinner was quieter than normal. I ignored Johnny the best I could without raising suspicion from Jax. I’d agreed to stay, but the pull to leave was still there and Johnny seemed frustrated with everything that had happened. Luckily, Jax was young enough to ignore the tension between me and his father and focused on the pizza we made and telling me all about his adventures. I listened the best I could considering what happened today kept replaying in my head along with the dread of ever leaving him again. Jax, not Johnny. It would be easy to convince myself to leave Johnny, but every moment I spent with Jax, made it harder and harder to leave. Johnny knew that too and wielded it as the rusty sword it was.

I knew the guest house was empty. The people Mac had staying left days ago. He’d texted me and told me, but I’d ignored the text which was probably why he’d shown up. I couldn’t even pull myself away from their house and stay somewhere else. How the hell was I ever going to leave all together? Earlier, I was convinced that was the only way forward. To run again felt right, but now sitting here with them, I hated the thought of it. Damn, I was such a mess lately.

“Ms. Reba, did you hear me?”

“I’m sorry, bud, can you say that again?”

“After dishes, can we read the rest of my book?”

“Of course, let’s help your papa clean up and then we will finish it up tonight.”

Not even an hour later, I was lying in Jax’s bed with him asleep in the crook of my arm as I read. It was so peaceful and perfect I didn’t even notice Johnny at the door watching us until he spoke.

“He’s out cold, you know.”

“Yeah, but I want to see what happens next.”

Johnny smiled and came into the room, pulling Jax’s little body from me and tucking him in properly before reaching for the book and placing it on the nightstand.

“Come with me, Reba. We need to talk.”

The way he reached a hand out for me, expecting me to follow, caused more conflict inside me. I wanted to go, I wanted to hear him out, but I was so scared of getting hurt.

“It’s okay. Really.”

At his reassurance, I placed my hand in his and he didn’t let go. Instead, he led me down the hallway and to the one door I hadn’t attempted to open. The door to his room. He swung it open and I saw a large wooden poster bed took up most of the room with bedding so dark blue it nearly looked black. In the corner was a desk and in the other two chairs and a sitting table.

“Have a drink with me,” he said, pulling me further into the room and gesturing to one of the chairs.

“What’s wrong with the living room?”

“I don’t want to wake up Jax.”

“He sleeps like a log.”

Johnny smirked. “Okay, maybe I just want a home-court advantage.”

“You have that already. I mean I’m staying at your house.”

“It’s not really my house anymore. It’s ours. You belong here and you know it. The way you move through every space with my son, making it more of a home than it has ever been, makes it almost more yours than mine and you can’t fight me on that. This is the one place I’ve wanted you in since you got here, so tonight this is where we’ll talk.”

As he spoke, he opened a bottle of dark red wine that I hadn’t even noticed when we’d first come in. I didn’t bother arguing with him this time because the truth was, he was right. It wasn’t intentional, but I had made this my home. It wasn’t hard, everything here just felt right.

I took a sip of the wine he handed me. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“I messed things up again today. I don’t know what it is about you, Reba, but I’m always stepping in horseshit. I can’t seem to get it right and I really can’t afford to fuck this up. I don’t want you to leave and I don’t think you want to either.”

“I do. I can’t stay here forever.”

“If you want to leave so badly then why haven’t you moved into the guest house?”

“You know it’s empty?”

“Reba, I’m the foreman. I know everything that happens here.”

“I can leave in the morning if that’s what you want.”

“It’s not! Dammit, Reba, you’re so frustrating.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Watching Johnny lose his patience had always been one of my favorite things. It was rare when he got worked up, but I could certainly do it with ease.

“Then tell me what you want.”

“Honestly, I want to tie your ass to my bed and tease the fuck out of you until you are begging me for release. I want to wake up in the morning with you in my arms, and I want everything I did wrong over the years to go away.”

“Well, that won’t happen.”

“Which part?”

“You can’t change the past.”

“Maybe not, but I can explain things better. Reba, you meant the world to me, and when Trina left, I took advantage of you. I wanted something between us to happen for years, but I let my guilt and my need for you to help me with my son keep that from happening. I was convinced if I asked you out you’d just think I was looking for a mom for Jax so I never did it. Then one night you finally looked at me the way I had prayed you would and I made my move. Sloppy drunk? Yeah. But I had you and for the first time, everything felt right. When we woke up the next morning, I was swimming in liquor, my head was pounding and you were lying in my arms. Relief and sadness took over because I knew you would run on me. You weren’t ready to be a mom, fuck I wasn’t ready to be a dad but I was and I didn’t want to tie you down. When you got up and I saw the blood, I realized what had happened. Knowing I took something so precious from you nearly killed me. I thought for sure I’d lose you and I did.”

“You didn’t take anything from me, Johnny, I gave something to you and you threw it in my face. You had no right to decide what I was ready for. I loved that kid more than anything. Losing you as a friend was hard, sure, but not seeing Jax for a year after that was worse. I stayed in touch with your mom just so I could hear how he was doing. I adored him and back then I adored you, but it all went to shit. I’d rather stay friends and keep him in my life than have to do all that again.”

“I won’t let us mess it up. You are the one for me, Reba, I know you are.”

“You haven’t even asked if I want this? If I want you.”

“Because I know you do. If I hadn’t fucked up, our lives would be different. You’d already be here with me and Jax. You’d be my wife and by my side for every milestone he hit. We would be the family we were always meant to be. I can’t let you go again.”

He stood and reached for my hands, pulling me into his arms. I wish I could blame it on the few sips of wine I’d had, but I couldn’t. His words broke through something deep inside me, so when he pulled my arms up over his shoulders and lowered his lips to mine, I let him kiss me without a fight. When I pressed myself against him and felt his hard cock between us, I couldn’t help but let out a little moan, and when he lifted me off my feet and carried me to his bed I didn’t push him away as he covered my body with his.

“Tell me you want this, Reba. Please.”

Fuck, I wanted this but to admit it seemed so hard. I looked up at the man who held a place in my heart. No matter how far I ran, he was always there and yet still I was so worried everything would go wrong.

“I’m scared.”

“I know you are. I know I never gave you a chance to feel safe with me, but I’ll do everything I can to prove to you that you are.”

I nodded, and he wiped a tear from my face that I didn’t even know was there. Leaning over, he kissed me again, softly this time and it broke me.

“I want this, Johnny, I want you and Jax and everything that comes along with it. Just don’t make me regret it.”

His smile was so big it made me laugh.

“Mine,” he said as he lowered his head and placed his lips on my neck. Kissing and sucking at that tender flesh that always made me weak. I closed my eyes and gave in to the sensations all around me. The soft feel of the comforter beneath me. The strength and weight of the man above me, the smell of his cologne and the taste of his lips sent me to a place that I desired more than anything else.

He moved slowly, undressing me carefully and taking me in. I was certainly thicker than I’d been when I was younger, and he seemed damn pleased with my curves. His fingers ran over my skin followed by feather-like kisses that felt amazing. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I’d given that to him and moved on with my life. But never had I felt so cherished as I did in that moment.

Johnny pulled away and stood to undress. Watching him from where I was in his bed was so reminiscent of our past it felt as if fate had given us a do over, a way to make things right again and that’s what we did.

He pulled out condoms, a bottle of lube, and rope. Which made me laugh.

“What’s that for?”

“Just in case you try to run on me again. Now, come here, my Crazy Rider.”

His fingers slid between my legs and circled my clit softly before delving deep inside me. He swirled his finger, thrusting it as my hips pressed forward, looking for more. He held me there, teasing me as he explored everything about me. When his mouth came over my breast and bit my nipple, I cried out in pleasure.

“Do you like that, Reba? A little pain with your pleasure.”

“Yes. Please.” I panted as my mind turned to mush and my body cried out for him.

“Will you come for me? Let me watch you. My biggest regret is not being able to remember what you looked like, as you are overwhelmed with arousal.”

His words, his movements, it was all too much. I’d give this man anything he asked for, and he already knew that. He nipped at my neck and my breasts as the excitement in me rose. My hips ground into him, pressing my clit against the palm of his hand as his fingers thrust deep inside me. I cried out before I even realized it. He played my body as if he had done so a million times before. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to, and fuck, I didn’t want to. I wanted everything he was giving me, everything he promised and when my body gave in and my mind cleared, Johnny was the only thing I could see and for that I was grateful.