Page 10

CHAPTER 10

Johnny

The sound of Jax’s cry sliced through the late afternoon air like a knife, and my heart damn near stopped. I was halfway across the pasture when I saw him on the ground near the fence, his little body curled in on itself, his hand clutching his knee. Reba was already there, dropping to her knees beside him, her face pale as she pushed his hair back.

“Jax, baby, talk to me,” she pleaded, her voice thin with panic as I ran up.

I slid to a stop and dropped down beside them, scanning him over. “What happened?”

“He was climbing the fence,” Reba said, her voice strained. “He slipped and landed wrong.”

Jax sniffled, his big, watery eyes looking up at me. “I’m okay, Papa. It just hurts.”

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to stay calm for him. “Let me see, bud.”

Carefully, I pried his little fingers away from his knee. His jeans were torn and I could tell it was already bleeding, but from the small bit I could see, I was certain nothing was broken considering he stretched it out for me to take a look. Still, the sight of his pain did something fierce to me. I scooped him up into my arms, holding him close as his little hands clung to my neck.

“You’re gonna be just fine,” I murmured against his hair. “Toughest cowboy I know.”

Jax let out a shaky breath, nodding. “It stings.”

“I know, buddy. We’ll get you out of these jeans and get you cleaned up.”

I glanced at Reba, expecting to see relief, but instead, she looked… rattled. More than rattled. Her hands were shaking as she stood, brushing the dirt off her jeans. It looked like she was mumbling to herself as she looked down at her shaky hands, then wiped them on the denim and looked up at me with a tight nod. I didn’t know what to make of it all, but I had Jax to handle first.

Back at the house, I got him changed into a pair of shorts then sat him on the counter in the kitchen while Reba gathered the first aid kit. Her movements were still stiff, her jaw tight.

“Reba,” I said softly, but she didn’t look at me. She just focused on cleaning up Jax’s knee, her fingers gentle but trembling.

Jax, oblivious to the tension, grinned up at her. “Ms. Reba, you take care of me real good.”

Reba froze. Just for a second. Then she gave him a wobbly smile. “That’s what I’m here for, kid.”

But the way she said it just didn’t sit right. Like she was trying to convince herself instead of Jax. I cleared my throat, trying to ease the thick tension in the air, but it did no good. I stepped aside as Reba bandaged him up, got him an ice pack, and kissed his forehead before stepping away.

“Hey, bud, why don’t you go pick out a movie? I’ll be there in a minute.”

Jax nodded enthusiastically as I helped him off the counter, limping a little, but determined. As soon as he was out of earshot, I turned back to Reba, who was already moving toward the door.

“Reba,” I said, a warning in my tone.

“I need air,” she muttered, but I wasn’t letting her go that easy.

“You’re running.”

“I’m not running.”

I crossed the kitchen, stepping into her space. “Then look at me.”

She hesitated before finally turning, and damn if the look in her eyes didn’t cut me deep.

“I need a minute. I’ll come back. Just give me some damn space for once.”

Her voice was low, but I still glanced over to Jax. I didn’t want him to see us argue. Small arguments and me giving her a hard time was one thing, but this felt different. Much more serious than anything we had experienced before. I gave her a nod and let her walk out the front door. Closing it softly behind her.

“Papa, isn’t Ms. Reba going to watch the movie?”

“Yeah, bud. She’ll be back soon. She just wants to clean up out back first.”

“I messed her day up, didn’t I?” his disappointed voice cut through me just as bad as the fear in Reba’s eyes.

“No, Jax, you didn’t mess anything up.”

“Do you think she’ll let me work with her and the horses again tomorrow?”

“Probably. She loves having you with her, you know that.”

“But not when I get hurt.”

“We are ranch men, remember? We get hurt. That’s just how it is. Reba knows that. She’s seen me get bucked off a ton of bulls and now she’s seen you get hurt for the first time. It won’t be the last and she knows that. She just needs a minute to clean up and she will be back.”

The movie started, and I caught myself staring at my phone, watching the minutes go by, hoping for a text or a call. Some inclination that she hadn’t just run off and left us. She could, there was no question about that. The guest house had been empty for days, but she was still here. Truth was, she could even leave the ranch if she wanted. She could head back to Rawhide to get the rest of her things and head off to her next job. She didn’t need us in the same way we needed her, and that reality was setting in.

About forty minutes later, the front door opened. Jax was so mesmerized by the movie he didn’t even notice. She looked over at me as she passed through the living room. Her face was flushed, as if she had been crying and her hair had come loose from the braid it was in. I desperately wanted to go to her, but I didn’t want to worry Jax.

When the movie finally finished, he headed off to his room to shower, and I went to check on Reba.

“Knock, knock?” I said as I pushed open her semi-closed door.

“Is the movie over?” she asked as I walked in and froze at the sight of her packing one of her suitcases.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to leave.”

“When are you planning to do that?”

“In the morning, time to move on.”

“So just like that, you are going to give up?”

“Give up? Johnny, today just proved what I already knew. I don’t belong here. You and Jax, you’re better off without me. I’m getting in the way of your normal lives.”

I let out a sharp breath, dragging a hand through my hair. “You really believe that?”

She folded her arms tightly across her chest. “I can’t stand the thought of something happening to him and me not knowing what to do. I panicked, Johnny. I froze. That’s not what he needs.”

I stepped closer, keeping my voice firm but gentle. “You didn’t freeze. You were right there with him. You were scared, but that’s because you care.”

She shook her head, looking away. “I shouldn’t be this scared. I shouldn’t feel this much.”

I reached for her hand, threading my fingers through hers. “Why shouldn’t you? Because it makes it harder to leave? He would be devastated. So would I.”

Her breath caught, and I knew I’d hit a nerve.

I reached a hand out for her. “Reba, Jax loves you. You make him feel safe and you love him too. That’s not something you can fake.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she tried to pull away, but I held firm. “Stay.”

She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how.”

I cupped her face, my thumb brushing away a tear. “Then let us show you.”

She let out a shaky breath, her eyes searching mine for something, maybe an escape, maybe a reason to stay. And then, finally, she nodded.

I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight. “Good. Because I don’t plan on letting you go. Now get ready for dinner. It will be time to eat soon.”

I walked out of her room and pulled the door closed behind me. My heart was racing in my chest and I was lightheaded. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. The thought of her leaving was like a knife cutting through me. I knew I wanted this, I wanted her, but hell, why did life always need to be so hard? Jax was my entire world and Reba was infiltrating every aspect of it without even realizing it. The idea of her staying was starting to be as scary as the idea of her leaving. What if she was scared off again? Parenting was hard, relationships were even harder. She needed to trust me and I felt like that was still so far off. I needed to be better, to do more somehow to show her I could be there for her no matter what. I’d figure out a way. I had no choice because it was starting to sink in that life without her wouldn’t be any life at all.