Page 12

CHAPTER 12

Johnny

She was so fucking gorgeous. Everything I knew she would be. I wasn’t lying when I told her I hated that I couldn’t remember her coming for me.

When we’d awakened the next morning after that night years ago, there had been bits and pieces that flashed through my mind. I’d set us up for complete failure. We were drunk, more than normal even. If we hadn’t been, I never would have taken the risk of being turned down. When she’d agreed, and gave in to our first kiss, my heart had soared but my mind argued. The liquor had worked to my advantage. I’d been able to ignore my conscience but that meant she’d been able to ignore hers as well.

Reba had been my everything back then. It killed me that I’d lost her. I’d been young and stupid but I’d known better when it came to her which made it all so much harder. Now with her lying in my arms and her body shaking with pleasure, I knew how much I had completely fucked us. If I had done things differently, this moment right here would be something I could have whenever I wanted. She wouldn’t have missed years of Jax’s life, she would be part of us and we would give her everything.

When the tension slid from her body, she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

“You are beautiful,” I said, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

All she did was smile, and I got lost in the face of a woman I’d spent the better part of my life pining over.

“I want more,” she said with a wink as she carefully moved and reached across me for the condoms, holding them up in front of me. “Let’s use these for now.”

“I’ll make appointments for us to get tested in the morning because fuck if I don’t want to feel all of you gripping my dick.”

She laughed again and opened one, slowly rolling it over my already hard cock. She straddled my thighs as she reached for the lube, opening it and coating my cock with it while I tried to distract her by lightly circling her clit with my index finger.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“Playing.”

“With fire?”

“Maybe. Depends on what happens if I do this.” I slipped my fingers into her again and she cried out, leaning forward to brace herself on my chest.

“Fuck, Johnny. I’m still so sensitive. It’s too much.”

“No, it’s not. You said you want more. Now take it,” I said with a smile I knew she couldn’t deny.

I pulled my fingers from inside her and lifted her slightly, lining her up with the head of my cock as she got herself balanced. With her hands on my chest, she slowly lowered herself onto my cock and it was utter ecstasy.

“Damn, Reba, you feel so good.”

She smiled down at me and rocked her hips forward as I pressed up inside of her. She looked down at me as I gave her all of me. Although it didn’t feel like giving anything up and, in that moment, I realized she’d always had me. My best friend, the woman who stepped in and cared for my son when I was lost and confused and the woman who I’d never let go again.

I reached between us and applied pressure to her clit. It was easier to figure out what she needed than I thought it would be. I’d listen to anything she’d ask, but the way her expressions changed and her body responded made it clear.

“I’m not going to last, Johnny, I just don’t think I can.”

“It’s okay, Reba, let go. I’ve got you.”

Her smile was genuine, and she never broke eye contact with me. As her hips shifted, I pressed deeper and deeper inside of her. Nothing was hurried or rushed; it was a moment of connection I’d never had with anyone else and it was one I would cherish for the rest of my life. She cried out her release just as I felt that burning tingle start to run through my body. She collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around her just as that final pull shot me off into pure pleasure and I filled my girl with everything I had to give.

I held her for as long as I could before I had to handle the condom and get us both cleaned up. Pulling away from her made me feel like there was something more in that gap than just physical space. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I found her sitting on the edge of my bed, pulling her clothes back on.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my room.”

“Why?”

She looked up at me with a glisten in her eye that made me uncomfortable. “Because, Johnny, I can’t stay here.”

I reached over and opened the dresser next to me and pulled on a pair of gym shorts before sitting down next to her. I ran my finger over her chin, making her face me. “You can and you will.”

“Remember when you said you made a mistake all those years ago? Maybe I’m the one who feels like we did this time. I don’t know what I was thinking, but this shouldn’t have happened.”

“Yes, it should have. That’s why it did. Reba, I wasn’t lying. You are it for me. I told you I’d do everything I could to get you to forgive me and the plan wasn’t to just fuck you and let you walk away again. I suck at communicating. That much is glaringly obvious, so I’ll just say it as it is. I don’t want you to leave. I never wanted you to leave last time. You are it for me, forever. But only if you’ll have me.”

She shook her head slightly. “Forever? What does that even mean?”

“Me, you, Jax and however many other babies you’ll give me. When you were younger, you always wanted a big family. I’ll give you that. Hell, Reba, I want to move you in here for good, marry you, convince you to stay, but as much as I kid, I won’t tie you down. It’s taken me longer than it took those wild horses to get your trust, but I don’t care. I’ll keep working for it.”

I leaned forward and placed my forehead against hers. Tears were running down her face but she was smiling. “I love you, Reba. You’re my crazy rider girl and the one who has always been there for me even when you weren’t. You left physically, but you’ve always been in my heart.”

She pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “And you said you’re bad at communicating.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Just tell me what you need.”

She reached up and placed her hand over my heart. “This.”

“You have it.”

“And maybe a little of this,” she said, reaching for my cock. “Oh and some of that rope wouldn’t hurt either.”

“It’s all yours, but I’m the one doing the tying, right? For some reason, I’m not sure I’d trust you with me tied up.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you do the tying.”

“Deal. Now take all those clothes back off and come here. I want to sleep with you in my arms.”

“What about Jax?”

“He’ll be fine. We’ll get up before him in the morning and have a talk.”

“Isn’t it a little soon for that?”

“I don’t think so. You’re my forever and if anyone has noticed, it’s my son. He’s smitten with his Ms. Reba and I’m certain he will love it even more if he gets to call you mom one day.”

“Mom.”

“Yeah, sounds good, doesn’t it? Kind of like it was always meant to be.”

“Maybe it was.”

She leaned over me and reached for the length of rope on the nightstand. “Now, what are we going to do with this?”

“It depends. What would you like me to do with it?”

“I’ve heard of rope play, or Shibari, they call it. Is that what you do with this?”

“It is. I’ve been learning for some time now. One of the guys is into it, but I’ve only ever practiced on myself.”

“Really?”

“Yup, he taught me some different ties with his partner. It’s beautiful really and seems to come naturally to me.”

“Years of rope tying calves hasn’t hurt any I’m sure.”

“True, but it would require a lot of trust on your part. I have a pair of shears and a bunch more rope. There are simple things like chest harnesses I could put on you that you could just wear for me, or for you even. I’ve heard a lot of people like the pressure it provides.”

I reached for my phone and pulled up some pictures of Evan and his partner.

“Wow, you know how to do that?”

“I do.”

“You’re right, it’s kind of amazing.”

“Is that something you’d like to try?”

Her eyes widened as she nodded her head. “Yes, yes, I would.”

“So I would like to discuss a few things first. We should have a safe word, but not only a word, a motion too, in case you can’t speak. Have you heard about that before?”

“Sure. I say stop and you stop everything, right?”

“Yes, if you want ‘stop’ to be the word, but sometimes it’s fun to say stop, so many couples pick a different word, or they use numbers or a green-light system. And sometimes, you might not be able to speak so a motion, such as tapping my shoulder three times if it’s in reach would be act as a safe word as well.

“Sweetbreads.”

“Huh?”

“I want that to be my word. Do you get one too?”

I laughed. “Yep, sweetbreads works for me too. I don’t think we would accidentally say it while we were in a scene.”

“Probably not.”

“So if I have you tied up and you say it, I will immediately cut you free. Everything will stop, but we will also talk through it all after. I want to learn your limits by talking about them, but if we get close to something, I want to know that too.”

“Makes sense, and three taps works for a motion.”

“So, it works the same way. Let’s say I have you gagged–”

“Wait, what?”

I laughed at the look of shock on her face, “Only if you consent of course. Let’s say you agree to me gagging you and you want the scene to stop. With three taps, anywhere you can reach I will immediately stop everything and we will talk. Deal?”

“Deal.”

We spent the rest of the night talking through a million things different dynamics may encounter. At one point I pulled up a yes, no, maybe checklist and we went through that until we started to fall asleep. My little rider thought she liked pain so we’d explore that, but more importantly, the conversation brought us to a place of trust and learning that we just didn’t have before.

Reba was desperate to let go, give up control, and stop feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. She’d gotten into rodeo because her older brother had been. When he retired, she’d just never gone home. She’d stayed with us and stayed in charge of everything. I could certainly understand that kind of pressure, and if there was a way I could alleviate some of it for her now, I would. This woman meant the world to me, and I never wanted her to forget that.

Morning came far too soon. I was barely awake when I felt Reba pulling away from me.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t want Jax to find me here,” she said as she stumbled around the room, trying to gather her things in the dark.

“I get that, but isn’t it too early to be running off?”

She stood straight and stared daggers into me. “I’m not running.”

“Okay,” I said with a laugh, “Not running, got it.”

“I just want to get to my room and shower. Once I’m dressed for the day, I can think straight. We aren’t going to tell him, are we? Never mind, we’ll figure that out later. I need coffee. But what if we don’t tell him and he senses something is different between us? No, no, I can’t think about that right now.”

“Reba.”

“What?”

“Come here.”

“I told you I have to go.”

I sat up and reached for her, pulling her against me in the bed. “I know you are nervous. Just take a deep breath.”

Once I felt her settle into my arms, I placed a kiss on the side of her head. “Jax loves you. He will be over the moon that we are together. You know that.”

“Yeah, but what if something goes wrong and I have to leave again? That wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“First, nothing will happen and second, if it does, then we will work through it all. Other than my mother, you’ve been the most consistent woman in his life.”

“I’ve been gone for years, Johnny.”

“Not in his memory. We talked about his Ms. Reba all the time. You’re his favorite, so it wouldn’t be fair to keep this from him.”

She nodded, not fully convinced. “I still don’t want him catching me in here.”

“Fine, go shower. I’ll put some coffee on.”

Sometime later I was in the kitchen still in a pair of sweatpants I’d hastily pulled on and Reba surfaced fully dressed and ready for the day, reaching for the cup of coffee I held out to her. She took a sip and the sigh she let out went straight to my cock. I couldn’t help myself. I pulled her to me and covered her lips with mine only to hear the one sound that made me smile and her drop her cup of hot coffee, which managed to cover the entire oven and two cabinets.

“Yeah!” Jax’s little voice ricocheted through the house as he screamed his excitement at the sight in front of him. I kept laughing as I reached for a towel for the coffee and Reba was trying to wipe my kisses off her mouth as if Jax hadn’t just caught us making out.

“This is the best day ever!” Jax exclaimed, marching toward us, only to be stopped by Reba who didn’t want him to get cut on the broken coffee cup. “Ms. Reba, are you going to marry my papa now?”

Reba choked on what could only be her own spit as she shot me a dirty look. “Listen, buddy. Sometimes adults do things like kiss when they are just friends.”

“No, they don’t. Don’t lie to my boy,” I said with a smile. “Listen, bud, Ms. Reba and I are going to date for a while, okay? Then when she’s ready, I’ll ask her to marry me, but not one day before.”

Jax started jumping up and down as Reba took a swat at me, then covered her face with her hands as I pulled her in for a hug.

“At least we don’t have to hide now.”

“No, ma’am, we sure don’t. We’ve been caught by the authorities.”

We both laughed as Jax ran around the house as if he had just won the golden buckle at the rodeo and I turned to start breakfast. Up until this point, things had felt good. Normal really, but now everything we had was a whole new level of special.