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CHAPTER ELEVEN

In the three months since Matthew had left, Elizabeth’s life had returned to normal. But everything felt wrong.

The house was too quiet, with only her and Papa, who was often in his study or away. The garden brought some enjoyment, but she kept picturing Matthew there. Cooking for two was not much different from cooking for three, but she missed the compliments the earl gave her.

Was she greedy? She had a safe, comfortable home and no worries about her next meal. She had a village of people around her, most of whom she enjoyed.

Yet there was an emptiness in her life, and she knew exactly why.

She received a letter from Agatha a few weeks before, thanking Elizabeth for her help and kindness. Agatha shared how much she was enjoying working for the earl and her new life at Ravenshire Manor. She was so glad to know Agatha was happy and safe.

Elizabeth had hoped for some scrap of news about Matthew. Agatha’s letter, however, was mostly about the other servants at the estate and the finery of its rooms.

She sighed as she grabbed the basket of wet laundry and took it outdoors.

A carriage came to a stop nearby when she was halfway through her basket, and she wondered whose it was. Most people in this area drove much heavier carts.

Elizabeth froze at the voice behind her.

“Would you like some assistance?”

She was afraid to look behind her and ruin the illusion that Matthew was in her garden once more. But movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention, and her gaze was helplessly drawn to him.

Her hands went limp and she dropped the chemise she was holding back into the basket. “Lord Hadleigh. It’s you.”

His smile was bright and gorgeous. “It’s me.”

She gaped at him, her mind gone blank. “Why?”

Matthew tipped his head back and laughed. “I missed you.”

He’d missed her? Truly? “I missed you, too, my lord.”

He stepped closer to her, removing his hat and running his fingers nervously along the brim. “It’s Matthew. And I’m hoping that means you’ll be amenable to my question.”

Elizabeth’s pulse pounded in her throat at his nearness after three months without him. She drank in his appearance. “What question…Matthew?”

The earl took another step and lifted her hand, unfazed by how damp it was from the laundry. He held it to his chest, and her heart skipped a beat.

“When I left, I thought I was doing the right thing. It seemed the unselfish thing, as a man who was so far from worthy of you.

“I was determined to allow you to live your own life, far from me and the mess I’d made of mine. I hoped distance would allow my feelings for you to fade.

“Instead, I realized I’d been a fool. What I feel for you will never fade. Not because of distance, nor time, nor even if you didn’t return my sentiments.

“I know it’s not fair to show up unannounced and declare myself, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I love you, Elizabeth. Would you do me the immense honor of becoming my wife?”

There was a rushing in her ears and her head spun. Only Matthew’s strong hands bracing her arms kept her steady.

She gazed into his beautiful face, now healed completely and still bisected with the scar that brought them together. This was completely overwhelming.

A sharp ache shot through her. “Lord Hadleigh, I’m honored by your suit.”

His face drew taut, but she pushed through her pain to say the necessary words. “But you’re an earl, and I’m a vicar’s daughter. I’ll never fit in among nobility, never be comfortable at balls and fine dinners. I can’t be the wife you require. You need someone more suited to be your countess.”

Matthew raised one brow. “You didn’t say no, nor that you don’t share my feelings.” He studied her face. “Do you love me, Elizabeth?”

She closed her eyes, unable to look at him when the desire to throw herself into his arms and joyously accept was so strong. “I cannot answer that question, my lord.”

“Matthew,” he reminded her softly.

Gentle fingers took hold of her chin to tilt it upward. Her eyes fluttered open. He slowly lowered his head, stopping with his mouth an inch away from hers.

He remained there, his mouth hovering. When she could stand it no more, she reached up to the back of his head and brought him closer, kissing him with all the love and longing her heart held.

When their mouths parted, Matthew held her close enough to hear his steady, reassuring heartbeat.

“No one is more suited to be my countess than you, my love,” he whispered. “I don’t care about going to balls and fine dinners, nor about socializing with nobility. Country life suits me.

“Eventually, I’ll need to take my place in the House of Lords. But I won’t return to London until I know I can continue to be the man I am now, and not the one I was. When the time comes, we’ll work out together how we manage things.

“I’m a different man because of you. You brought me back to life and showed me how kindness looks, and what it means to care unselfishly for others. Your quiet joy inspired me.

“Your beautiful smile and your sparkling eyes may have piqued my interest, but your soft heart made me fall in love with you.”

The tender affection in his eyes made her throat ache. “Marry me?”

The urge to accept him was becoming overpowering. There was only one more issue.

“But what about the parishioners?—”

“What would you say if I told you I’d arranged for your father to be moved to a parish with plenty of affluent people to keep him busy, and for a new young vicar and his wife to replace him?”

She laughed at his audaciousness, but she felt guilty leaving Papa.

“You’re worrying about your father, aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

He stroked her cheek. “Because I know you. Your father will be fine. I’ll pay for a housekeeper to care for his needs. If he wishes to visit us, I’ll make the arrangements, but he will treat you with the respect and courtesy you deserve.”

He’d thought of everything. Giddy, she let herself smile at last. “I love you, Matthew. I’d love nothing more than to be your wife.”

Immediately, he took her mouth in a searing kiss that made her vibrate with passion. She clung to his broad shoulders, pulling him closer.

With a laugh, he set her from him, but he looked reluctant. “We need to stop, my love, before your father returns to find us anticipating our vows.”

Elizabeth blushed furiously as the thought of the act made her insides coil with a tight heat.

Matthew bent his head to whisper. “But as soon as I’ve made you my wife in word, I’ll be stealing you away to make you my wife in deed. And I’m quite sure you’re going to enjoy yourself.”

She had no doubt that was the absolute truth.