Page 15

FIFTEEN

WILLOW

“Will,” Nat says. Her eyes are wide and filled with pain, tears pooling in them as she stands at my door.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask, my brows furrowed. I haven’t seen her this upset in a long time. I pull her into my arms and hold her tight. I hate seeing her cry. I want to do whatever it takes to fix it.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her body trembling. “I’m so sorry, Willow.”

The furrow in my brow deepens. “Hey, it’s okay. You need to calm down, Nat. It’s not good for the baby.”

I found out she was pregnant only days ago and I’m so happy for her. So damn happy. I know she’ll be a great mom. She’s been the best aunt to Willow.

“Please don’t hate me,” she cries, her body burrowing into mine.

“Nat, you’re worrying me. What’s going on?” I ask, my heart racing. I’m worried now. I have no idea what’s happening.

“Rogue,” she gasps. “He knows about Wren.”

My blood runs cold at Natalia's words. I feel like the ground has dropped out from under me.

"What?" I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Natalia pulls back, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm so sorry, Willow. I didn't mean to tell him. It just slipped out when I was talking about my pregnancy. I mentioned that you'd been through it before and he put two and two together."

I stumble backwards, my legs hitting the couch. I sink down onto it, my mind reeling. Rogue knows about Wren. The secret I've kept for five years, the one thing I've protected above all else, is out.

"How... how much does he know?" I manage to ask, my voice shaking.

Natalia sits beside me, taking my hand in hers. "Just that you have a daughter named Wren, and that she's five years old. He figured out she must be his."

I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. This can't be happening. Not now, not when we've finally found some stability.

"What did he say?" I ask, dreading the answer.

Natalia hesitates. "He was... upset. Angry that he didn't know. He wanted to come see you right away, but I told him he couldn't just barge into your lives."

A small part of me is grateful for Natalia's intervention, but mostly, I'm overwhelmed with fear and panic.

"He can't see her, Nat," I say, my voice urgent. "He can't be a part of her life. Not after what happened."

Natalia nods, squeezing my hand. "I know. I told him that. But, Willow... he seemed genuinely remorseful. He said he's regretted what happened every day for the past five years."

I scoff, anger rising to mix with the fear. "Remorseful? He stood by and watched while I was tortured. He didn't believe me when I told him the truth. How can I ever trust him around Wren?"

"I understand," Natalia says softly. "But... he did write you a letter. He asked me to give it to you."

She pulls an envelope from her bag and holds it out to me. I stare at it, Rogue's messy handwriting spelling out my name on the front.

With shaking hands, I take the letter. "I don't know if I can read this, Nat."

"You don't have to," she assures me. "Not right now, anyway. Take some time to process all this. I'm here for you, whatever you decide."

I nod, still staring at the letter in my hand.

“I’m so sorry, Will. I never meant for him to find out.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “He would have found out eventually.”

She gives me a shaky nod. “Maybe so, but I’m still sorry it was me who told him.” She squeezes my hand. “I’ll let you be alone. Wren will be home soon. Is Tamara’s mom dropping her off?”

I nod. “Yeah,” I mumble, glancing back down at the letter in my hands.

“It’ll be okay,” she promises me. “I’ll stop by later, okay?”

I don’t answer. I’m unable to take my eyes off the letter. I hear the door closing as I continue to stare at the letter in my hands, my heart pounding. The familiar handwriting on the envelope sends a chill down my spine. Rogue. After five years of silence, he's reached out.

Part of me wants to tear it up without reading it. To protect myself and Wren from the pain he caused. But another part, a part I thought I'd buried long ago, is curious. What could he possibly have to say after all this time?

With trembling hands, I open the envelope, unfold the paper inside, and read the letter. God, he sounds so sincere. But can I believe him? How can I trust that what he’s saying is real?

Tears blur my vision as I finish reading. I sink deeper into the couch, overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, and something else—something I don’t want to admit.

"Mama?" Wren's voice cuts through my turmoil. Crap, she’s home. "Are you okay?"

I quickly wipe my eyes, forcing a smile as I turn to my daughter. "I'm fine, Little Bird. I was just reading something that made me a bit sad."

Wren climbs onto the couch next to me, her small hand reaching for mine. "Don't be sad, Mama. I'll give you a big hug to make it better!"

As she wraps her arms around me, I hold her tight, breathing in her sweet scent. "Mama, why are you squeezing me so tight?" Wren giggles.

I loosen my grip, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Because I love you so much, Little Bird. More than anything in this world."

Wren beams up at me. "I love you too, Mama! Can we have ice cream for dessert tonight?"

I can't help but laugh at her quick change of subject. "We'll see. Why don't you go wash up and start on your homework? I'll be there to help you in a minute."

As Wren skips off to her room, I'm left alone with my thoughts and Rogue's letter. What am I going to do? Can I really keep Wren from her father? Do I have the right to?

But then I remember the pain, the betrayal, the fear. The nightmares that still plague me some nights. How can I trust him with our daughter when he couldn't even trust me?

I fold the letter and tuck it into my pocket. I can't deal with this right now. Wren needs me, and she has to be my priority.

As I help Wren with her homework, my mind keeps drifting back to Rogue's words. He wants to be part of Wren's life. He says he's changed. But can people really change that much?

Later that night, after Wren is tucked in bed, I find myself sitting on the couch, staring at Rogue's letter again. I've read it so many times I've practically memorized it.

My phone buzzes with a text.

Nat: How are you holding up? Do you need me to come over?

I appreciate her concern, but I need to figure this out on my own.

Me: I'm okay. Just thinking. Thanks for checking in.

I set my phone down and pick up the letter again. What would letting Rogue into our lives mean? Would it bring more pain? Or could it possibly heal old wounds?

I think about Wren, about how she sometimes asks about her dad. How she looks longingly at her friends with their fathers. Could I be denying her something important?

I close my eyes, feeling tears start to form. This decision feels impossible. No matter what I choose, someone gets hurt. If I keep Rogue away, I'm denying Wren a chance to know her father. If I let him in, I'm opening us both up to potential pain and disappointment.

I realize I can't make this decision alone. I need to talk to someone who understands; someone who's been there for me through everything.

I pick up my phone and dial Natalia's number. She answers on the second ring.

"Will? Are you okay?" Her voice is thick with concern.

"I don't know," I admit, my voice shaky. "Can you come over? I need to talk."

"Of course. I'll be there in ten minutes."

True to her word, Natalia arrives quickly. As soon as I open the door, she pulls me into a hug.

"Oh, Will," she says softly. "I'm so sorry about all of this."

We settle on the couch, and I show her Rogue's letter. She reads it silently, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"What do you think?" I ask when she's finished.

Natalia takes a deep breath. "Honestly? He seems sincere. But I also know how much he hurt you, Will. This isn't a decision to make lightly."

I nod, grateful for her balanced perspective. "I keep thinking about Wren," I confess. "About how she asks about her dad sometimes. Am I wrong to keep her from him?"

"You're not wrong to protect your daughter," Natalia says firmly. "But... maybe it's worth considering giving Rogue a chance. Not for his sake, but for Wren's."

I bite my lip, considering her words. "But what if he hurts her like he hurt me?"

Natalia takes my hand. "That's a valid fear. But from what I've seen of Rogue, he does seem different than the man you described. More mature, more... grounded. And if you decide to let him into Wren's life, it would be on your terms. You'd be in control."

I let out a shaky breath. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to face him again, Nat."

"You're the strongest person I know, Willow," Natalia says, squeezing my hand. "You've raised an amazing daughter on your own. You've built a life for yourself despite everything you've been through. If you decide to do this, you can handle it."

We talk for hours, weighing the pros and cons, discussing potential scenarios. By the time Natalia leaves, I'm exhausted but feeling slightly more centered.

I check on Wren before going to bed myself. She's sleeping peacefully, her dark curls spread out on the pillow. As I watch Wren sleep peacefully, I allow myself to imagine what it might be like for her to know her father. The thought fills me with a mixture of hope and apprehension. While part of me wants Wren to have a relationship with Rogue, I'm still deeply concerned about letting him into our lives after everything that happened.

I gently brush a curl from Wren's forehead, my heart swelling with love for my daughter. She deserves to know where she comes from, but I also need to protect her.

After a restless night, I wake up feeling no closer to a decision. But I know I can't avoid this forever. For Wren's sake, I need to face my past and figure out a path forward.

With shaking hands, I pick up my phone and type out a message to Natalia:

I think I'm ready to talk to Rogue. Can you help set up a meeting?

I hit send before I can second-guess myself. Whatever happens next, I know it will change our lives forever. But I have to believe that with Natalia's support and my love for Wren, I'll find the strength to face this challenge.

I arrive at the small café twenty minutes early, my nerves making it impossible to sit still at home any longer. I choose a table in the corner, my back to the wall so I can see the entire room. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

My hands shake slightly as I sip my coffee, my eyes constantly darting to the door. Any minute now, Rogue will walk through it. The man I once loved, the man who broke my heart and shattered my trust, the father of my child.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I can do this. I have to do this. For Wren.

The bell above the door chimes, and I freeze. There he is.

Rogue looks different yet achingly familiar. His hair is shorter, and there are a few more lines around his eyes. But it's still him. Still the man who haunts my dreams and nightmares.

His eyes scan the café, and when they land on me, I see a flurry of emotions cross his face. Relief, pain, longing, regret. He approaches slowly, as if afraid I might bolt.

"Willow," he says softly when he reaches the table. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me."

I nod stiffly, gesturing for him to sit. "I'm doing this for Wren," I say, my voice steadier than I feel. "Not for you."

Rogue sits, his eyes never leaving my face. "I understand," he says. "How... how is she?"

I take another sip of coffee, buying myself a moment. "She's good. She's smart, kind, full of energy. She's everything."

A small smile tugs at Rogue's lips. "She sounds amazing. Just like her mother."

I ignore the compliment. "I need you to understand something, Rogue. I'm not here to reconnect or rehash the past. I'm here to set boundaries and figure out if there's any way you can be in Wren's life without hurting her."

Rogue nods solemnly. "I get it, Willow. I know I have no right to ask anything of you. But I want you to know how sorry I am for everything that happened. I was wrong, so fucking wrong, and I've regretted it every day since."

I swallow hard, pushing down the emotions his words stir up. "Your apology doesn't change what happened, Rogue. It doesn't erase the pain or the fear."

"I know," he says, his voice rough. "I know I can never make up for what I did. But I want to try to be better. For Wren. For you, if you'll let me."

I take a deep breath. "Here's how this is going to work. If—and that's a big if—I decide to let you meet Wren, it will be on my terms. Supervised visits only, at least at first. No talk of the club or your lifestyle. And if at any point I feel like your presence is negatively affecting Wren, it stops immediately. Do you understand?"

Rogue nods solemnly. "I understand. I'll do whatever you think is best for Wren."

"And another thing," I add, my voice firm. "You don't get to just waltz in and be 'Dad.' As far as Wren knows, her father isn't in the picture. If we do this, you'll be introduced as a friend first. We'll see how things go from there."

I can see the pain in Rogue's eyes at my words, but he nods again. "Okay. Whatever you think is best."

We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of the situation hanging heavy between us. Finally, Rogue speaks again.

"Can you... can you tell me more about her?" he asks hesitantly. "What's she like?"

Despite my reservations, I find myself smiling slightly as I think about Wren. "She's amazing. She's smart and curious about everything. She loves to draw and she's always making up stories. She's kind, too. Always looking out for the other kids at school."

Rogue listens intently, hanging on every word. "She sounds perfect," he says softly.

"She is," I agree. "And I need you to understand something, Rogue. She's happy. We have a good life. If you come into it, you can't disrupt that. You can't make promises you can't keep or disappear when things get tough. She deserves better than that."

"I know," Rogue says, his voice thick with emotion. "I want to do right by her, Willow. By both of you. I know I fucked up before, but I swear to you, I've changed. I want to be someone Wren can be proud of."

I study his face, trying to gauge his sincerity. Part of me wants to believe him, but the scars from our past run deep.

"I'll think about it," I say finally. "I need some time to process all this. And I need to talk to Wren, see how she feels about meeting new people in our lives."

Rogue nods, hope flickering in his eyes. "Thank you, Willow. That's more than I deserve. I promise, if you give me a chance, I won't let you down. Not again."

As we prepare to leave, Rogue hesitates. "Can I... would it be okay if I saw a picture of her?"

I hesitate for a moment, my finger hovering over the screen. Then, with a deep breath, I turn the phone to show Rogue the photo.

It's a picture from Wren's last birthday. She's beaming at the camera, her dark curls framing her face, eyes sparkling with joy. She's wearing a princess dress and has frosting smeared across her cheek.

Rogue's breath catches audibly as he looks at the image. His eyes drink in every detail, a mixture of wonder and pain crossing his face.

"She's beautiful," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "She looks just like you."

I can't help but shake my head slightly. "She has your eyes," I say softly, surprising myself with the admission.

Rogue looks up at me, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you," he says earnestly. "For showing me this. For giving me a chance."

I nod, putting my phone away. "I haven't decided anything yet," I remind him. "But I'll be in touch once I've had time to think and talk to Wren."

As we stand to leave, Rogue hesitates. "Willow," he says, his voice low, "I know I have no right to ask this, but... are you happy? Have you found someone who treats you the way you deserve?"

The question catches me off guard. "I'm... content," I answer carefully. "Wren is my priority. I haven't really thought about dating."

Rogue nods, a mixture of relief and sadness in his eyes. "You deserve to be happy, Little Flower," he says softly, using the old nickname that sends a jolt through my heart.

I don't respond, unsure of what to say. Instead, I gather my things and head for the door. Rogue follows, maintaining a respectful distance.

Outside the café, we stand awkwardly for a moment.

"Thank you again for meeting me," Rogue says. "I know it couldn't have been easy."

I nod. "It wasn't," I admit. "But maybe it was necessary."

As I turn to leave, Rogue calls out one last time. "Willow?"

I look back at him.

"I meant what I said in the letter. I'm proud of you. For everything you've accomplished, for the mother you've become. You're incredible."

His words stir something in me, a mixture of pain and longing that I thought I'd buried long ago. I give him a small nod before turning away, unable to trust my voice.

As I walk to my car, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Meeting Rogue again has brought up feelings I thought I'd dealt with, memories I'd tried to forget. But it's also shown me a side of him I wasn't sure still existed—the caring, remorseful man I once loved.